Entry #345483, added on 05-06-05 @ 1:22 am EDT
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| Apsiu Polyamory | Entry #345483 |
NOTE: This essay contains SPOILERS CONCERNING PAIRINGS WITHIN THE STORY.
This is a topic which is likely to be very confusing, and which I can explain only in general, in its barest details. Before starting, I wish to point out the three apparent types of relationships involved among the Apsiu; these are reproductive, sexual, and romantic. The first two involve sexual activity, whereas the third MAY involve this, but not necessarily. Likewise, reproductive and sexual relationships may involve ROMANTIC feelings, but not always; etc. Reproductive relationships are almost always those between Kana and their Moru, and Moru and other Moru, when they wish to bear or sire pups, romantic feelings may or may not be involved, and though it's most often involved, sexual gratification may not actually be present. Sexual relationships are those in which sexual gratification is the primary objective, whether the parties involved feel for each other emotionally or not, and whether pups are born or not. And romantic relationships are those that involve feelings of love and devotion, whether sex or pups are involved or not. As you can see, these three relationships can overlap at various times, and at other times can be exclusive of the other types.
Obviously, judging by the story, polyamory is considered the norm among Apsiu relationships--that is, the Apsiu, both Kana and Moru, typically engage in romantic/sexual/reproductive relationships with more than one party, without there being any "cheating" involved. Although this is the typical relationship, however, it of course varies from Apsiu to Apsiu in how it is practiced, so I'll have to give some examples.
One good example of a polyamorous relationship in the story is that between Djuta and Resikh, and their respective mates. Djuta and Resikh, both Kana and both male, are romantic partners ("brothers"), and consider themselves loyal to each other--they are not interested in romantic relationships with other Kana, and for the MOST part, they are not interested in sexual relationships with other males or with random females. At the same time, both are engaged in romantic relationships with Moru--Djuta with his mate, Rithukh'het, and Resikh with his mate, Heth'anet. These mates are recognized as primarily partners for the sake of reproduction--that is, they are expected to bear pups--but their masters have formed close attachments to them, and feel romantically for them as well--they are not considered "just slaves" or "just mates." A third addition to this is the Moru Khetai, whom Djuta temporarily takes as a mate for purposes of reproduction; the two do NOT form a romantic relationship, and their relations are purely sexual. (Though Djuta does still treat Khetai with the respect which he shows for all Moru. Many Kana do not grant this respect to Moru, not even to their mates, but romantic attachment to one's primary mate(s) is not considered abnormal.)
In addition to THIS...several times throughout the story, Djuta and Resikh engage in sexual relationships with other characters--primarily Kana (Djuta with Mahakhi, Ri'hus, and Nehara; Resikh with Tefkha)--but neither partner sees these relationships as "cheating" for there are no ROMANTIC FEELINGS involved--each pairing was just for sex, and all Kana involved recognize this fact. Thus, Djuta and Resikh express no negative feelings over the other's sexual relations with others, as they know they are romantically attached only to each other. They are of course also attached to their Moru, though Moru are not considered competition in this case; the differences between a purely romantic/sexual relationship (Djuta/Resikh), a romantic/reproductive relationship (Djuta/Rithukh'het, Resikh/Heth'anet), and a purely sexual (or in Khetai's case, reproductive) relationship (Djuta/Khetai, Djuta/Mahakhi, Djuta/Ri'hus, Djuta/Nehara, Resikh/Tefkha), are understood. So far, neither Djuta nor Resikh has broken these boundaries they recognize for the different types of relationships.
Djuta's and Resikh's relationship is probably what would be considered "typical." It's not, however, the only type. Many Apsiu may show jealousy if their romantic partners should become involved with others, no matter what the reason; a Kana may become jealous of his Kana partner for engaging in any sort of relationship, even a purely sexual one, with another Kana (and may have good reason for feeling jealous); a Kana may also become jealous of his Kana partner for engaging in any sort of relationship with a Moru (in this case, the jealousy would likely be considered silly by outside parties, for why should someone feel jealous of a relationship with a mere slave?). Likewise, a Kana may be all right with ONE relationship or type of relationship his partner engages in with another, but jealous of yet a third. Moru, as well, are not immune to jealousy for various reasons.
Some varied examples of different relations and the reactions they draw within the story are given here (BEWARE SPOILERS):
* Tas'hukh/Djuta, Djuta/Hup'khit: Djuta, when Moru, was once the mate of the Kana Tas'hukh. As he could not get her pregnant, Tas'hukh let his Moru female, Hup'khit, lie with Djuta. The two became romantically as well as sexually involved, even while Djuta and Tas'hukh were romantically and sexually involved--though Djuta's and Hup'khit's relationship was understood to be primarily reproductive. There was no jealousy between any of the parties involved. This response would be considered rational.
* Tas'hukh/I'anen, Tas'hukh/Djuta: After Djuta's relegation to Kana status, Tas'hukh still feels romantically for him but the feelings are not reciprocated. Tas'hukh is involved in a romantic/sexual relationship with the Kana I'anen. When Tas'hukh shows interest in resuming his romantic/sexual relationship with Djuta, I'anen grows intensely jealous, and attempts revenge by bedding with a male Moru (Bakh'asu). I'anen shows jealousy over ANY of Tas'hukh's relations with other Kana (he doesn't seem to express any jealousy over Tas'hukh's relations with Moru, though I myself would assume he would be jealous of Tas'hukh's relations with any males, seeing as such a relationship would not be only for reproduction, hence would be competition), but at the same time sees nothing wrong with his own rather promiscuous behavior. I'anen's jealousy toward Tas'hukh's Kana and male mates could be considered rational or irrational, depending on the circumstances; if however he showed jealousy of a female mate (of which Tas'hukh has none), the jealousy would be considered irrational.
* Tas'eta/Nith'khet, Tas'eta/Iast'et: The Kana Tas'eta has one female mate, Nith'khet, the two of them being involved in a romantic/sexual/reproductive relationship. Tas'eta later takes a second female mate, Iast'et, in a similar relationship. Nith'khet is willing to accept another female mate for her master, but Iast'et, on the other hand, is jealous of the competition, and treats Nith'khet accordingly. This jealousy, on the one hand, could be considered irrational, since it is typical for Kana to take more than one mate; on the other hand, seeing as the two females are in direct competition (they can both provide the exact same kind of relationship), this jealousy could also be considered rational. (Witness the double standard regarding what is normal for Kana, and what is normal for females--even though two females have a good rational reason to feel jealous of each other, because of the competition, the mere fact that they are slaves and are intended merely for reproduction is enough to nullify this argument for most Kana.)
* Mahakhi/any Kana males, Mahakhi/any Moru females: Mahakhi engages in various romantic, sexual, and/or reproductive relationships throughout the series. Most of his relations with males are not considered romantic (Mahakhi just likes to have sex) and so are not seen as any sort of competition, hence no jealousy is involved. His relations with at least some of his females are romantic in nature, on the other hand, and so jealousy could be expected. Oddly enough, despite his large number of female mates (Simit foremost among them, followed by Akhahit, Thibu'het, Dji'it, Bikhthet, etc.), no jealousy has yet been displayed in the story--only mild rivalry for his attention. This may be due to the fact that Mahakhi is generous in his attention toward all his mates, and aside from Simit does not seem to favor one over the others. Even though they are in competition with each other, this behavior is considered rational, since they are all females.
* Ameni/Djuta, Ameni/Thi'usa: At one point in the story, Ameni engages in a brief sexual relationship with the Kana Djuta. He expresses romantic feelings for the Kana, though the relationship is a short one and recognized as primarily sexual. Thi'usa, with whom Ameni is involved in a romantic/sexual relationship, becomes jealous of this, despite the fact that Djuta cannot be considered direct competition (he is not considered a romantic partner, plus he is not of the same house); the only competition is for sexual attention. At least in this case, this is considered irrational, seeing as both Ameni and Thi'usa are also involved in various other romantic and sexual and/or reproductive relationships with other Moru and even Kana (Mahakhi and Nehekhi). Thi'usa's reaction here is more likely an expression of stress and anxiety, rather than a reflection of his attitude regarding other mates.
* Taka/Paka'at, Shekhem'a/Paka'at: Later in the story, the Kana Taka attempts a romantic/sexual (and later reproductive) relationship with the Moru Paka'at and is at first refused but then accepted. Paka'at is also involved in a romantic/sexual/reproductive relationship with her owner/father, Shekhem'a. At first Taka is intensely jealous of the relationship between the two, but tolerates it; his jealousy lessens in time but does not go away, even when Paka'at chooses him almost exclusively over her father. Shekhem'a, for his part, expresses no jealousy whatsoever over the relationship between Taka and Paka'at. This relationship is considered very unusual, both in its pairing (parent/offspring incest is highly atypical for the Apsiu), and in the reactions involved--Taka and Shekhem'a are in direct competition for Paka'at's attention (both may provide the same sort of relationships), and Taka's initial reaction is rational; but his resignation, and Shekhem'a's reaction, is "irrational" in that this is not the way Kana, nor most males, in competition with each other are expected to act.
* Fe'kheru/Ikhi'et: The Kana Fe'kheru keeps only one mate, the female Ikhi'et, after the passing of his last mate. Ikhi'et has not given him pups in a long time and so Fe'kheru's relationship with her has changed from being romantic/sexual/reproductive to purely romantic/sexual. This is irrational in that Fe'kheru does not take another mate to fulfill the reproductive aspect of a relationship. When Khetai is introduced into the relationship, Ikhi'et reacts rationally--with anxiety--as she views Khetai as romantic/sexual/reproductive competition (at least until Fe'kheru clears up this misunderstanding for her). A similar situation occurs later on with Meteri/Patet, though Meteri's sexual behavior throughout the story is considered atypical by most Apsiu.
* Nehara/Djuta, Nehara/Yekh'iet: Also later in the story, Djuta is involved briefly in a sexual relationship with Nehara, while Nehara himself is involved in a sexual/(hopefully) reproductive relationship with the female Yekh'iet. If you're catching on by now, you'd know that the reactions involved here are considered rational, in that there is no jealousy displayed by any of the parties involved, as Djuta and Yekh'iet are not in direct competition, not even for a romantic relationship.
You'll note that jealousy or the lack of jealousy does not only depend on the TYPE of relationships involved, and on the competitive aspect, but on what types of relationships may NOT be involved--jealousy may be due when Party A CANNOT offer the type of relationship needed to fulfill Party B's needs, yet Party C CAN offer it.
A belated aside on the relationship of Djuta and Resikh, and what might be considered "rational" and "irrational" about it; if Djuta or Resikh were to be jealous of the other's relationship with his female mate, this would likely be considered irrational, as their female mates are not in direct competition with them as Kana. Their purely sexual relations with other Kana could easily be grounds for jealousy, and while this would probably not be considered so irrational by other Kana, Djuta and Resikh themselves would consider it irrational, as there is no romantic element involved. The other Kana (Mahakhi, Ri'hus, Nehara, and Tefkha) could be considered competition, but seeing as no romantic attachments to them are formed, the only competition they are in is purely sexual...and so long as the parties involved in a relationship are comfortable with their sexuality, jealousy is not much of a problem. And so you can see here how aspects of this relationship COULD under certain circumstances be considered abnormal or irrational, yet seeing as how it all works out, it's considered rational, since these two apparently understand their own boundaries.
Hopefully by now you've gotten a SLIGHT picture of the complexity and diversity of Apsiu relationships and how they do and do not work. Just as with any society, there are norms, and there are a million ways to deviate from those norms. Resikh's and Djuta's relationship is considered "typical," but it may not be the most prevalent type of relationship, and what holds for them certainly doesn't hold for everybody. Kana and Moru, males and females, may or may not be jealous of direct competition or no competition, of romantic relationships, sexual ones, reproductive ones, all three, none, or a combination of any of them. And though there is a norm for what reactions are considered rational or irrational, even this may vary depending on the circumstances. Confused yet? ^_^
Suffice it to say that it is considered normal for a Kana to take several female mates; it is considered normal for a bisexual or homosexual Kana to take several mates, including one or more Kana, just so long as at least one of those mates, and hopefully more, is female; it is considered abnormal for a Kana to take just one female mate, and even more abnormal to take none at all (see the upcoming entry "Homosexuality In Apsiu Culture" for more on this); etc. There are three primary types of relationships among the Apsiu--romantic, sexual, and reproductive--and to be jealous of a relationship which does not DIRECTLY compete with another relationship of a different type is usually considered irrational, whereas not being jealous of relationships which directly compete with each other (as in, two romantic relationships, or two reproductive relationships) is considered irrational ONLY if it causes distress for the parties involved; otherwise it may be considered abnormal (as in the relationship between Taka/Paka'at/Shekhem'a), but not wrong or undesirable. There are however SOME types of relationships, or rather lacks of relationships, which are almost always considered abnormal and irrational and undesirable. (Not engaging in a reproductive relationship being one of them.)
I realize this essay was particularly confusing. Perhaps that means I succeeded though, seeing as relationships are always that way. ^_^ To simplify it even MORE: Polyamory (more than two parties being involved in a close relationship, with full knowledge and more-or-less full assent of the others) is the norm in Apsiu society, though other types of relationships are fully acceptable as well.
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