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Writing.Com Time

Wednesday
February 15, 2012
12:09am EST


  >> Book >> Biographical >> ID #1028995  |   Show DetailsPrinter Friendly Page Tell A Friend
Today is the first day of the rest ....
What I am thinking and my adventure at Writing.com
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Entry #482000, added on 01-17-07 @ 1:44 pm EST
   Entry Access Restriction: None.
The Cat's New Year Resolutions:Entry #482000
Okay, so I didn't originate this, but it is so cute I have to share it.  Since you already know I am a cat person, I can't hurt my reputation by passing this on!  ENJOY!!


My human will never let me eat his pet hamster, and I am at peace with that


I will not slurp fish food from the surface of the aquarium


I will not eat large numbers of assorted bugs and then come home and throw them up so the humans can see that I'm getting plenty of roughage.


I will not lean way over to drink out of the tub, fall in, and then run at light speed right for the box of clumping cat litter. (It took FOREVER to get the stuff out of my fur.)


I will not use the bathtub to store live mice for late-night snacks.


We will not play "Herd of Thundering Wildebeests Stampeding Across the Plains of the Serengeti" over any human's bed while he or she is trying to sleep.


I cannot leap through closed windows to catch birds outside. If I forget this and bonk my head on the window and fall behind the couch in my attempt, I will not get up and do the same thing again.


I will not assume the patio door is open when I race outside to chase leaves.


I will not stick my paw into any container to see if there is something in it. If I do, I will not hiss and scratch when my human has to shave me to get the rubber cement out of my fur.


If I bite the cactus, it will bite back.


When it rains, it will be raining on all sides of the house. It is not necessary to check every door.


I will not play "dead cat on the stairs" while people are trying to bring in groceries or laundry, or else one of these days, it will really come true.


When the humans play darts, I will not leap into the air and attempt to catch them.


I will not swat my human's head repeatedly when he is on the family room floor trying to do sit-ups.


When my human is typing at the computer, her forearms are *not* a hammock.


Computer and TV screens do not exist to backlight my lovely tail.


I will not puff my entire body to twice its size for no reason after my human has watched a horror movie.


I will not stand on the bathroom counter, stare down the hall, and growl at NOTHING after my human has watched the X-Files.


I will not drag dirty socks onto the bed at night and then yell at the top of my lungs so that my human can admire my "kill."


I will not perch on my human's chest in the middle of the night and stare until he wakes up.


I will not walk on the keyboard when my human is writing important adagfsg gdjag ;ln.


If I must claw my human, I will not do it in such a way that the scars resemble a botched suicide attempt.


If I must give a present to my human guests, my toy mouse is much more socially acceptable than a big live bug, even if it isn't as tasty.





© Copyright 2007 Chalaedra (UN: chalaedra at Writing.Com). All rights reserved.
Chalaedra has granted Writing.Com, its affiliates and its syndicates non-exclusive rights to display this work.
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