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Friday
May 25, 2012
3:33pm EDT


Content Rating Notice:  Recommended for Readers 18 Years and Older Only
  >> Book >> Other >> ID #701089  |   Show DetailsPrinter Friendly Page Tell A Friend
Right Now
This is what I feel right now.
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Entry #487744, added on 02-13-07 @ 10:43 am EST
   Entry Access Restriction: None.
february?!Entry #487744
Well let's take a look at my January resolutions and see what I succeeded at:

-be more comfortable with myself
Check? I have never been more comfortable with myself I guess. Mostly due to the fact that... I'm not thinking about myself much? I'm doing stuff. But there's the sense that I am perilously close to robot mode.

-finish what you started
NONcheck. Fail. Drawn back into school, the possibility of finishing various creative pursuits fades away a little more. I wish I could.

-be a better friend
Halfcheck. To some (and, honestly, very few), and not to others. I'm sorry. Once again, I feel kind of swept out of it. With little time left for those things that are not mandatory but keep us human. Robot...

So I'm in a relationship and it's still not hammered down, as far as... whether it is the best thing or not. I'm getting many opportunities to feel like a good person. And I am having a lot of fun. And I"m realizing I don't have all the answers, and that I need to grow some more before I can be a solid foundation for anyone. I don't know. I am taking care of her.

On a sad note, this wednesday breaks my streak of 22 years of single valentines' days. Not that the holiday means anything. IN fact, I kind of already miss last year, or the years before, when I took it as a time for lonely reflection.

A sadder thought:

Is all of the best reflection, by necessity, lonely?

Where would that put me?

How can I be lonely for loneliness?

****

February resolutions:

-Try and be lonely some time

-Try EVEN HARDER THIS TIME to be a better friend to those I care about

-Start finishing the things that I finished starting

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