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Entry #542259, added on 10-17-07 @ 9:55 am EDT.
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Title:
Real thin ice and my changes
In fact, I think we just broke through the ice. I just finished my meeting with the principal and assitant principal. Their tardies were all by just 2 or 3 minutes, with that one day they were an hour late and they're counting those few minutes. We're still doing a lot better than last year, but damn I still suck. Well, I have to go to court. I meet with the attendance committee next Tuesday, plus I have to see if I can get the kids' medical records.
It's going from bad to worse. I'm only just beginning to learn to properly look after myself. It's known I can't even do that, yet I'm supposed to be mother of the year also. I tried explaining that I do have rules here, I do try to enforce my rules, I do give consequences, but when my kids don't care, what then? I do try. They just have no clue what I'm trying to deal with, and my issues pretty much rule out being an effective parent right now.
When I'm so screwed up, how in the world can I prevent my kids from being messed up too? That's what I have to find the answers for.
Well, from now on, their bedtime is 8. I was up most of last night with the runs, and was on the toilet from 5am till about 5:30 listening to Emily's alarm clock. When I finally made it out, neither kid had stirred even though the alarm clock was between them at their heads. What does that say? So here's my changes effective today; of course, it might be too late, but at least we can try this last week:
 Bedtime 8pm for both. Mine will be 11.
No more sodas with caffeine, and one a day, which they actually stick to just one anyway.
Up at 6, and unless it's very cold or raining, they both walk.
Out of the house no later than 7. They just told me the kids get free breakfast; the kids told me they had to pay. They get free lunch, so they get free breakfast as well.
Back to the shower schedule- Cody at 6:30, Emily at 6:45pm.
No more bullshit from either of them. As soon as they get home today, they're gonna get their revised rules, and I don't give a shit if they don't like them. I'm the mom, not them. Tough shit anymore. I'm not taking their bullshit to me anymore.
All privileges are gone until they prove they will stick to this. No phones, friends, TV, swimming. Nothing. They're gonna be so damn bored they'll welcome these rules. Life ain't fair. Ya still gotta live it and try dammit.
No more allowing them to throw my issues back in my face. I own the issues, and I have to separate my issues from issues they own. They can try too.
My plan was to have them stay with mom for awhile if it looked like I was gonna lose them, hence Family Options. But mom has too much to deal with right now without taking on 2 kids fulltime. The alternative for these kids is ugly. I've been there, they know that, and maybe this will get them to care.
One thing I am sick of is everyone saying to me - you have to get them up. Christ, they're 11 and 12. In one breath, the principal is telling me that and in the very next breath, she tells me her 4 year old granddaughter gets herself up at 4am. Which proves what I've said for awhile now and that is my kids are capable of doing things themselves as well. They're not invalids. They're not helpless. And part of our jobs as parents is to teach them to prepare for adulthood. Isn't giving them responsibilities for themselves part of it all? Why does it always gotta be falling on me, all the time, and everything?
I'm at the point now that these kids of mine can take it or leave it. If they refuse, then they made the choice to be in foster care, because I simply cannot force them to care. And all I can say if that happens is they wouldn't allow me to be their parent and chose another alternative and it sucks to be them.
This is our last chance to stay together and make it work.
I've already been through the dark side of life and am still here even with all the shit I had to go through as a kid. And I still freakin try. But I need a break. I really, and truly need a break. I need these kids to get it. I need these kids to get a damn clue, follow a few very simple rules and want to have a good life. I want them to stay with me, but I also want this to work the right way. Their attitudes suck, so I'm going to have to come up with a solution for that today as well. If it means they get whooped for awhile, I guess that's what it means because absolutely nothing else has worked at all. |
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