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|  | World Domination Guide | | Rated:
13+ | | A selection of Short Stories taken from the other life of Acme | | by: Acme ![View acme's Portfolio. [Offline / Private]](http://imgs.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/costumicons/ps-icon-eyes3-40.gif "View acme's Portfolio. [Offline / Private]") ![Email User: acme [Offline / Private]](http://imgs.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/mail-off.gif "Email User: acme [Offline / Private]") | Avg Rating:   (8) |
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| Item Size: 12 Entries
Created: 8:47am on 02-25-2008
Modified: 5:36pm on 08-02-2009 | |
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Entry #569869, added on 02-25-08 @ 8:49 am EST.
[Entry Access Restriction] None.
Title:
You just can't get the staff...
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I'm often asked about my goal of World Domination and whether I see it as a tangible reality. I have to be honest and say that sometimes the hum-drum daily grind can obscure the clarity of my vision! As foggy as it can get though, there are certain dreams which are worth pursuing, not just for yourself, but in an attempt to improve the quality of life of those around you. Here is a tale of what happened last Tuesday. It may prove insightful for those who are reaching for their own stars to know that even people like me have dog days too!
He refused to make eye contact and I couldn't blame him. Of course, I couldn't let him know that (sign of weakness, see?).
"Ok, let's go through this one more time." I pursue. "You had Mr Bonde cornered by the ornamental fish pond, and then..?"
"And then he asked if I felt like a swim and that's when he karate chopped the back of my neck and pushed me in with Minty!"
Poor Phillip. That old shark of mine, Minty, was on his last legs and not up to much in the maiming and biting department these days - but the chicks liked him and I hadn't the heart to put him out to sea...
"So you escaped the aquarium," I hoped this made him feel a little better, "by which time Mr. Bonde had run off into the complex and caused all hell to break loose with my Planet Crusher 3000. Well, it's not on is it? Do you think I like torturing and punishing Henchmen? You are a good bad guy, Phillip, and frankly I had a lot more faith in you. You've not only let me down - you've let yourself down, too."
"Sorry, Acme."
"Well, less said, soonest mended. Off you go."
A nervous cough indicated the presence of someone else waiting and I was surprised to see Sergi, one of the kidnapped Russian scientists, waiting in the shadows with a loaded clipboard.
"Sorry to bother you with so much going on, sire..."
"Sergi, I've told you before, it's not 'sire' - Acme will do."
"...Acme, but you did promise that you would think about kidnapping my cousin Yorgi and his family?"
"Ahh, yes. He's the Accountant isn't he?"
"That's right, sire! Fully recognised financial training on three continents and prepared to work hard. I know you kidnapped my girlfriend's mother for me last month but, well, I just wondered...?"
"Oh, go on then. No more for a while though, Ok." I made sure that was a statement and not suggestion. He waved his little clipboard at me and skittered out bowing, leaving me alone to survey the damage Mr. Bonde had caused to the scale model of my Volcano Missile Silo. I sighed. Fourteen hours with tube of cardboard, a roll of sticky-backed-tape and the last of my Burnt Umber in acrylics - I could have wept.
There was the sound of a small explosion somewhere on the island followed by a tremor that knocked over my miniature Radio Mast. A minute later another Henchman knocked carefully on the door.
Honestly, you just can't get the staff these days.
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