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Sunday
February 12, 2012
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  >> Book >> Comedy >> ID #1392894  |   Show DetailsPrinter Friendly Page Tell A Friend
World Domination Guide
A selection of Short Stories taken from the other life of Acme
Rated:
13+
by
Avg Rating: (8)
Entry #569874, added on 02-25-08 @ 9:01 am EST
   Entry Access Restriction: None.
Raccoons in the BasementEntry #569874
Spring had sprung at the Lair and, before The Clown could pin me down to filling in the tax returns, I'd hidden away in the basement (the last place that the Henchmen would look for me!)

Boxes and packing crates, that once held components for evil devices, littered the place. Lean Mean Fat Reducing Grilling Machines grinned at me alongside the other cardboard flotsam and jetsam that had escaped the recycling ('oh, that'll come in handy' seemed to be a catch phrase amongst the Russian scientists). Then I heard it.

A faint rustling in a dark corner. I'd have to get Snappy (my 'gator) down here later. There it was again. Only this time all the little hairs on my neck strained to see where it was coming from too.

"Is anybody there?" I cursed as soon as I'd said it. Soooo cliched.

Another shuffle - nearer this time.

"I'm a bit of a Ninja, you know? Better show yourself before I go all Bruce Lee on yo ass!"

This time there was a laugh.

Bursting out of a box full of polystyrene came a half-man/half-rat thing, making strange Neanderthal noises. It was Al - Alexander Rasputin Konoonska. The famous eastern bloc spy that had been missing for years.

"Thank ***** for that! You, steaming piece of *****. Oh, *****! If it isn't *****ing Acme. Quick, lets get out of this *****hole before some ******** locks the *****ing door again."

Ah, yes. Now I remembered why I'd avoided the place.
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