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Tuesday
February 14, 2012
11:22pm EST


Content Rating Notice:  Recommended for Readers 18 Years and Older Only
  >> Book >> Personal >> ID #1455703  |   Show DetailsPrinter Friendly Page Tell A Friend
Snow in the Valley
Contains Authors Spotlight Tasks
Rated:
18+
by
Avg Rating: (4)
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Entry #599299, added on 07-30-08 @ 9:32 am EDT
   Entry Access Restriction: None.
Day 3, Task 2: Spotligh Public ReviewsEntry #599299
Message added to my review template for this task.
I am reviewing this as a part of Authors Spotlight Day 3, Task 2.




Morning Reviews


Review #1


The title Trust Is a Must attracted my attention immediately. The emotion in this poem is not overwhelming, which helps emphasize the theme. This is a thought provoking poem and encourages the reader to look into trust issues in her own life.

The rhyme does not read forced or artificial. The rhyming pairs are well chosen.

The rhythm of the poem is rough and sometimes distracts the reader from enjoying the poem.

I found no technical problems or typos.

My favorite line is Then, you can be the person you want to be, loving, trusting, and emotionally pure. because it states the lesson of the poem.

Suggestions for improvement: My only suggestion is to smooth out the rhythm, so that the poem flows and is easier to read.

I am giving this a 4.5. Keep writing.
I am reviewing this as a part of Authors Spotlight Day 3, Task 2.

Review #2


The title My Unrelenting Sound In Cognito aroused my curiosity. This is a thought provoking poem with some very interesting and thought provoking word choices.

Examptles of the interesting word choices are in these lines
Numerical procession of flighting birds.
Glass mug is slammed for another serve.

because the words fligting and slammed suggest a noisy fight or argument. Very good choices.

The rhythm in some lines was a little rough, but this is appropriate to the theme of the poem and not distracting. The rhyme sounded natural. I especially like the repeated lines of
These mere things and many more,
Back in my life as they were before.

in stanzas 2, 4, and 6. These lines gave unity to the poem.

Technical problems & Typos: In this line Home so full you cant move anywhere. change cant to can't. The only question I have is were the words in the title In Cognito intended to be two words instead of one incognito?

Suggestions for improvement: See Technical problems & Typos for my suggestions for improvement.

I am giving this a 4.5. This is a thought provoking poem. Keep writing.
I am reviewing this as a part of Authors Spotlight Day 3, Task 2.


Review #3


Simple words is an intriguing and thought provoking poem.

My favorite lines were
Striving to not make sense of the past
Waiting... waiting for my future

because they emphasized the lesson of the poem and gave the reader something to think about.

The rhyme sounded natural. The rhythm, with one exception stated in Technical Problems & Typos, flowed smoothly.

Technical Problems & Typos: I found one technical issues in this line Not sure what true. Making what into what's or what is would make the line flow easier.

Suggestion for improvement: See Technical Problems & Typos for my suggestion.

I am giving this a 4.5. Keep writing.
I am reviewing this as a part of Authors Spotlight Day 3, Task 2.
© Copyright 2008 Prosperous Snow (UN: nfdarbe at Writing.Com). All rights reserved.
Prosperous Snow has granted Writing.Com, its affiliates and its syndicates non-exclusive rights to display this work.
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