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  >> Book >> Comedy >> ID #1392894  |   Show DetailsPrinter Friendly Page Tell A Friend
World Domination Guide
A selection of Short Stories taken from the other life of Acme
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Entry #603363, added on 08-23-08 @ 11:38 am EDT
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Super Villain 'To Do' ListEntry #603363
Just like knowing if you're gay or straight everyone knows if they're born black hat or white.

I hated the Lone Ranger. I preferred the evil Spock (the one with the goatee). I loved the dress sense of Ming the Merciless and when I first saw Fenella Fielding in Carry on Screaming... Well, lets just say that I simply wasn't destined to have a good tan and muscular form.

Being a twin doesn't help. Sure, family members joke about how one got the good looks and the other got the brains but we all know what they are really thinking: "Which one is the EVIL one?" No one ever felt the need to ask after about five minutes with us.

I have decided to make a list of equipment, ideals, career goals and henchmen needed in order to put together a useful guide for the potential 'black hatters' out there who will one day come after me.

This is simply an overview which will be expanded on in other documents in this folder.

OVERVIEW OF THINGS TO DO

1. Set a Goal

Contrary to popular belief this does not need to be World Domination from the off! (lol) Much like slimming groups do, the Super Villain, can set small targets to aim for. It makes the whole journey a much more valuable process for the individual (With the added bonus that Megalomaniacal tendencies can become second nature).

Reward yourself for reaching your goals. After all, who else really understands the commitment and sacrifice you have put into attaining them? Before you know it you'll be half way to your first Off Shore Bank Account and have engineered that all important first strike against the global community.

2. Implement an effective Recruitment Plan

No self respecting bad guy would get anywhere without a well organised internal structure. The most valuable commodity in providing the logistics has got to be the human resources or Henchmen.

It's not as easy at it appears to find people to follow your vision! We are not in an age of ideals. We are in an age of money. The good news is that good staff follow good money, and who ever heard of a poor Super Villain? (rof) Which leads us nicely on to:

3. Economic Viability

You do not need to buy the world. You just need to run it. I've never seen a Prime Minister, President or Monarch with a head for figures. There are special minded people throughout history who fulfill the Kisinger role, or Money Man perfectly. To deny these individuals a chance to shine in your brave new world would seriously undermine the scope of your vision. Remember, everyone needs to know a fella that can add and subtract!


Next time we will look at Personal Specifications (including long haired white cats, different shades of black fabric, facial scars and accents, and evil-eye candy).

Take care, Acme

** #1289363 Not An Image **



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