Entry #605316, added on 09-03-08 @ 9:14 pm EDT
Entry Access Restriction: None.
| May 5, 2006- Relationships | Entry #605316 |
May 5, 2006 - Friday
Relationships
Current mood: contemplative
No one ever said relationships were supposed to be easy. And if someone did say it, they were crazy as hell. Relationships are work. We all know this. Anything worth doing is worth doing right. The best things in life take time and work. I have a million cliches I could use but I'll stop there. Recently, my wife and I got into a big argument. Not just your usual run of the mill argument but a doozy. Yes, I really said doozy. It's not important what it was about, all that matters is that it's over. But the lasting effects of it take time. You always say and do things in the heat of the moment you wouldn't normally do. We are all guilty of that at some point or another. When talking to my insightful, great friend about Michelle and I, we talked about the fact that lesbians and gays are not taken seriously in relationships by society. In a gay relationship, it's theoretically so easy to just walk out because you have no paper to bind you there. There are no true divorces because our marriages aren't recognized. But in reality, it's not that easy. That paper that we aren't entitled to isn't what keeps us together. There are so many factors in there. We decided a long time ago that a couple should never stay together just for the sake of the kids. But kids do play a factor in there. The fight we had was my fault. I can honestly say that with conviction. And always during a big fight, the thought fleets in your head of running. Even if it's not something you would seriously do, it's human nature when things get tough, the tough gets going.
I used to say, I don't need anyone. I have done it on my own for years and can do it again. I've come to the realization however that it isn't entirely true. While I may be able to in some degree if forced to make it on my own again, I don't want to. I like being married. I like being married to my wife. I do need her. Not just the financial aspect but the emotional aspect. I need her to wake up to. I need to kiss her goodnight. I need to talk to her when I'm excited about something. I need to tell her something funny I heard. I need her to hold me when I'm sad or scared. I need her to help me raise our children. I need her on the day to day stuff. I need her in my life.
My wife will be the first to tell you that she has a sixth sense about people. This is so true. Her instincts are amazing because of the way she grew up. She has high moral standards that she holds herself and others to. She is an amazing woman. We don't do the typical roles most of the time. Our life is fairly equal with some exceptions. I do most of the cooking, she does a lot of the cleaning. She fixes things, opens jars, and plays with her power tools. I plan meals, do most of the shopping, and read stories to the kids. Everything else is equal though. We complement each other. Weaknesses and strengths. Good and bad. Yin and yang. We finish each other's thoughts and sentences. We are on the same wave length. I am accustomed to the way she breathes at night. I love that she likes to cuddle in bed now. Something she never really did. At night sometimes, to help her fall asleep, I scratch or rub her head and sing to her. When I finish a song, though she's almost asleep, she lets out this little sigh to let me know that she's listening and appreciating. I love that sigh. I love that we can be goofy together. I love her quirks that she has. That she always kisses me goodbye even though I'm asleep. I love how fiercely she loves our sons. How she fears for them and wants them to succeed. I tell my wife she's beautiful, which she isn't fond of. She sees herself as cute maybe but that's about it. I see her as gorgeous. And sexy. And beautiful. I see through the butch exterior to the woman she is.
I've always loved butch women. I love how strong they are. I love their confidence and assurance. I love their protective nature. I love the way they smell, the strength in their arms, the bravado. But I love them at night. The sweetness. The same butch who uses chainsaws and power tools during the day, who deals with bosses and staff all day long, who looks sexy and tough when she smokes her cigarette is that same butch who lays in bed at night with me listening to me sing. Who holds me, protects me, and cherishes me and never misses an opportunity to tell me so. She brings out my strength, my protective nature, my confidence. She lets me be who I am by supporting me. She is my rock, my comic relief, and my angel. I will prove the straight society wrong. Lesbians can make it in a long term relationship. We will be the couple that are still making it in 40 years.
Peace,
Angie
*********
10:34 AM - 5 Comments - 6 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove -
Heather
Once again, brought to tears. You're gonna think I'm some kind of nut. I love the things you write about your wife. I love to hear someone else saying what is in my heart as well. And I can feel through your writings the love and strength in your marriage. You guys are inspiring.
Posted by Heather on May 5, 2006 - Friday 5:06 PM
[Remove] [Reply to this]
Michelle
Everyday I am so grateful everyday for you in my life. Everytime we hit a bump in the road it just makes us stronger and more determined to complete our long journey together. I love you more each passing minute.
Posted by Michelle on May 7, 2006 - Sunday 7:49 PM
[Remove] [Reply to this]
Dark Moon Gypsy
after reading your blog i can say we have somethings in common. I'm floored to know someone else loves their woman as much as i feel i love mine. My mother has been with her girlfriend for 22 years and still going. I believe we can make it as long as we work for it. hugs
Posted by Dark Moon Gypsy on May 8, 2006 - Monday 9:13 AM
  
Angie aka rainbow_writer
Writing is a socially acceptable form of schizophrenia. ~E.L. Doctorow
|
© Copyright 2008 Rainbow Writer (UN: rainbow-writer at Writing.Com). All rights reserved.
Rainbow Writer has granted Writing.Com, its affiliates and its syndicates non-exclusive rights to display this work.
|
Content Rating Notice: Recommended for Readers 18 Years and Older Only
Static Items
Books
Forums
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
