Entry #608511, added on 09-21-08 @ 2:22 pm EDT
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| Pushy, pushy | Entry #608511 |
I am reminded constantly to update my blog. I delete the reminders as if I didn't see them and continue on. The thing is, I want to write in my blog more than I do but I refuse to write meaningless garbage to appease the reminders.
But today I gave in.
So what am I going to write about? I've been thinking about it a lot so today's blog is going to be about legalizing marijuana.
Okay so typically when someone says something about this topic it's because they are a big toker who just wants to benefit from a law being passed in their favor. And while it's true that I am a big toker who would like to benefit from a law being passed in my favor, that is not where my stance stems from.
I have bipolar II disorder. For those unfamiliar, it basically means that without medication I can't have "normal" moods and reactions to things like other people. I have horrendous mood swings that can be set off by the smallest item. Before meds, I would verbally kill anyone in my path. There were times I got physical as well, though I never truly hurt anyone doing it. I didn't care what I said or what I did. I was justified, I was right. They were wrong. And while I knew that I couldn't physically attack someone because I'm just not a fighter anymore like that, I knew that I could get the better of anyone with words. Yeah, call it my gift.
But I digress.
I have Bipolar II disorder and I'm a weed smoker. Not an occasional, pass-me-the-joint at a party, but when you pour yourself a cup of coffee or light a cigarette after awakening, I light a joint. Now, I don't do this every day. I couldn't. I have three kids of which I have no intention of them doing my secret.
Why? If I think it should be legalized, why should I care if they know?
Because I'm divorced, lesbian, have bipolar. Their father is a homophobic, redneck, violent bigot who would love to take my kids away. And why shouldn't he? Because I'm a good mother. I get my kids ready for school every morning, go to class myself, go to work, come home, fix dinner, take care of the kids, take care of the animals, and stress over bills. I love my kids unconditionally, I don't let them play Grand Theft Auto and we have a rule that you don't go to anyone's house without me meeting the parents.
But after they go to bed... and are asleep...
I smoke out. I have incense, Febreeze, a fan, the whole works. And there are nights when my wife is at work and I'm home taking care of three very active boys whose main purpose in life is to piss off one of their brothers. My angels are 12, 9, and 6. Any wonder why I'm a toker? And on those nights, which are about 5 a week, I lock myself in the bathroom, cover all openings, turn on the fan, and spray air freshener as I smoke and pee.
It's not that I can't deal with my kids without being buzzed. It's that I am actually better at times. I have a better attention span with them, a longer temper, and laugh easier. I don't stress as much and rules are enforced much easier. And for the record, I don't get stoned and pass out when my kids are home- ever.
You know those old commercials, it'd take 400 boxes of your crappy cereal to equal the benefits of Total. Well that's how weed is for me. I already take Effexor and Lamictal for my disorder. Weed enhances their effects or has replaced them on the rare occasions that I wasn't able to get my meds (due to a weekend).
I have acid reflux. I take no meds for it. Weed cures the nausea.
I was bulimic back in the day and still have those urges at times. Weed takes that away.
I have trouble getting to sleep. Weed is my sleeping pill.
I have anxiety attacks. Weed takes that away.
It's an herbal medication for me. It's no different than taking St. John's Wort except that it has many more benefits that actually work.
And anyone who wants to argue the inhalation and danger to your lungs... it is less dangerous than nicotine. And there are 97% less cases of people getting lung cancer from smoking a joint as opposed to smoking a cigarette. Plus how good do you think it is on your body to take 1 pill for depression, 1 pill for anxiety, 1 pill for bipolar management, 1 pill for acid reflux, 1 pill for ulcers, 1 pill for back pain (I have a degenerative muscle disease), and then thrown in a Midol, Tylenol, or other simple over the counter medication. Do you think that helps your body to do that? To fill your system with government manufactured medication? Marijuana is all natural, good for the environment, and has no waste. No butts in an ashtray. We smoke the whole joint.
And there have been studies done to show the effects that marijuana has on someone bipolar. The effects and results were positive in nearly all cases.
I am 32, make excellent grades in college as I study for my BA, I pay bills, I pay taxes, and I take care of my family. I've never been in trouble (knock on wood) for drugs, never done anything stupid while high from weed, and am a responsible citizen. I am a functioning weed smoker. How is it any different from someone having a beer when he comes home? Except mine doesn't lead to violence, doesn't destroy your liver, and doesn't kill people. You don't hear of someone getting high and killing the person who questioned their skills at playing pool. We are a mellow group. We are not violent. The only difference is you can get yours from a Mini Mart and I can only get mine from a friend.
Peace. |
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