Entry #618622, added on 11-15-08 @ 9:38 am EST
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| What Do You Do? | Entry #618622 |
When disaster strikes you or someone you love, what do you do? Where do you turn? How do you cope? Most of us never think much about those questions, because disasters are things that happen to others, NOT to us. You read about them every day, see them on television, but it's almost like "they" are in a different world from "us".
Disaster struck my family this past week, and I wasn't there to comfort them or to share the sorrow and help shoulder the burden. My daughter, son-in-law and grandchildren had to stand in the cold night and watch their house burn to the ground, knowing all of their belongings, some of their pets and many of their dreams and plans were going up in smoke never to be seen again. I don't know what that's like. I probably never will and I don't really want to, but then again, I didn't want them to have to find out what it was like, either.
I tell myself they are young and they can rebuild their lives . . . at least they have each other . . . it could have been so much worse . . . but underneath the facade of reasoning things away, the plain fact remains--they've lost all their worldly possessions, many of which were priceless objects passed from one generation to another and treasured as family heirlooms. Maybe we as Americans esteem our possessions too highly and those things are not really that important, if we would stop and think about them and re-prioritize our lives. Most of us have dozens of "things" we take for granted every day. They aren't really all that important, they're just there . . . except, should we suddenly be deprived of them, they become more important than we ever imagined.
I remember when I was finishing college and working for a newspaper I interviewed a lady in her seventies who had lost her ancestral home and everything in it to a fire similar to to the one that claimed my daughter's home. This lady was well-to-do and had a house full of beautiful antiques. I asked her about losing all those lovely things and her reply was that yes, she would miss them, but it was losing the pictures of her family and other family treasures that could never be replaced that tore at her heart. Probably most of us would feel the same way. I know I would, even now when I am trying to simplify my lifestyle and get rid of things I no longer need or use. I've mourned the loss of different belongings over the years, most of them broken or misplaced . . . some of them left behind in my many moves, when we ran out of places to put things and our energy was all used up. I've left pieces of my life in almost every place I've moved from over the past thirty years. Some of them I still regret having to leave behind, but life goes on and I cope the best I can.
I was philosophizing to one of my friends about my daughter's loss and I said all the trite things we say at such a time about how the most important thing to me was that they were all alive. None of them were burned or otherwise physically hurt by the fire. To me, that IS the most important thing and I'd rather have them with me than all the possessions the world could offer, which made me realize the difference between a house and a home. A home is the love, the memories, the struggles and accomplishments of a lifetime. A house is where we stay and where we put our things. A home is Christmas trees and sparkling lights, laughter, peace, joy and even sorrow at times. A home is fresh baked bread, midnight chats with loved ones, slumber parties, Sunday dinner and Monday night football. A home is sharing, caring and understanding, a close-knit unity that ties us to one another in bonds stronger than steel, more unbreakable than anything man-made.
A house makes our lives more comfortable and serves as a backdrop for all the activities of the home, but a house is not a home, for home dwells in the heart . . . and the heart transcends the barriers and boundaries of a simple house. My "kids" lost their house and everything in it, but they carry their home inside themselves. Wherever they are and whatever they do, their home will survive, because it is their love for one another, their shared experiences good and bad, their dreams and hopes that will make a home for them from any simple house. Homes can never be destroyed by disaster, because homes are created by love and love IS. Love is the strongest force in the universe. That's why we are strong together when adversity bombards us. We have love and no one or nothing--not even fire--can take that away from us. They lost their house, but their home is still intact. May it ever be so!
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