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Tuesday
February 14, 2012
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  >> Book >> Writing >> ID #1448943  |   Show DetailsPrinter Friendly Page Tell A Friend
Shelly Writes!
An ongoing discussion about writing, life, and everything in between.
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Entry #633417, added on 02-02-09 @ 8:24 am EST
   Entry Access Restriction: None.
Considering The FutureEntry #633417
There are times when I wish I had a crystal ball. Not the kind that would show me anything I wanted but only a specific timeframe, like what my life will be like in the next five years. If I made decision A, what will the outcome be? Wouldn't it be great to know whether the decision you made now, would be the right one? Wouldn't that help take out the guess work?

Years ago, when I was in grade school I was falling behind in my schooling. I didn't realize it at the time but looking back now, I'm so grateful to the retired school teacher who took it upon herself to tutor me. How different my life would have been if she hadn't instilled in me a love of learning and reading! I can't imagine. I doubt Mrs. Sample would have needed to look forward into the future to make her decision - regardless of what the outcome would have been. But not all decisions are quite so simple.

If I could have looked into the future about the birth of my daughter, it would have saved me a great deal of questioning and fear about being a parent. Or my business. Or a dozen other issues.

My daughter's father has come back into my life and I'm not sure why or what to do about it. He wants me back and I honestly don't know what I want. My therapist is teach me that that's the most important part. It's not quite as important why or what another person wants but whether *I* want it. And I just don't know. I don't know if he can give me what I want in life. I want a stable family, with a good financial future. I want someone who will support me as I build my business (I don't mean financially although that's part of it), who will be a good role model to my daughter and be a stable part of her life. But there's also the added aspect of wanting someone I'm physically attracted to who is willing to listen to me in regards to my sexual needs and wants. And I have no idea whether he can provide that or not. I don't know how to determine that either.

So, the easiest solution would be to have a crystal ball that can show me what the next five years would be like if I made one decision or the other.

© Copyright 2009 MKeyes gets married 4/28/12 (UN: michellekeyes at Writing.Com). All rights reserved.
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