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Tuesday
February 14, 2012
7:01pm EST


Content Rating Notice:  Recommended for Readers 18 Years and Older Only
  >> Book >> Personal >> ID #1133132  |   Show DetailsPrinter Friendly Page Tell A Friend
Faucets
A continuation of my flowing thoughts, deluge of dreams and waterfalls of words.
Rated:
18+
by
Avg Rating: (26)
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Entry #666227, added on 09-02-09 @ 4:18 pm EDT
   Entry Access Restriction: None.
Love... it is my curse...Entry #666227
According to my last journal entry I was already suffering from a broken heart, only because I had jumped the gun on a missing phone, at least that was what it was at that time. Shortly after I posted that entry I got an email from her stating that she had misplaced her phone and had no way of contacting me and unfortunately I bought it... As you can see the word "Gullible" isn't in my dictionary.

If you are a frequent reader of my journal you might have noticed a difference in my attitude towards love. It used to be so easy for me to say what I was feeling towards my significant other until about 5 years ago( I don't want to look back on this situation since I just got over her and was ready to move on into this relationship I'm talking about now) when a planned reunion was made and then canceled at the last moment due to an upcoming wedding... not mine. I didn't want to put my heart through that pain again so I was reluctant to tell another person that I loved them. I was three years into a relationship when we finally exclaimed those words. I was elated when she returned them back to me so quickly.

That was before I had made plans to attend a NASCAR race with the new woman in my life and then everything in my life crashed into the wall at about 220 miles an hour. After being laid off from my dream job, which I also loved with all of my heart, I get this email the other day...

I hope that you get this message before you get on the bus to come to Columbus. DON'T!!! I will not be at the bus station. I'm going to make this quick but, no matter how quick, It's still going to be painful. You need to have the phone turned off and I will mail it to you in 2 weeks. I've done the most unforgivable thing. I will not ever forgive myself for hurting you this way. I can't even bring myself to call. I'm taking the cowards way out. It's over. It has to be. Please don't try to contact me after this. I will not respond. I know this hurts you but, at this point I can not go on with this. I will have to live with what I've done but, you my dear one do not and you shouldn't.

Please know that I did NOT intend to hurt you. I did not intend for this to happen. But, it did and I can not undo it. I want to thank you for loving me.

I should've known it was coming, in fact I did but I refused to admit it to myself. I even mentioned some of my suspicions in my last journal entry. What sucks the most about this whole thing is I was never given a chance to forgive her for whatever it was that she done. I would love to say that I am done with women in my life, but I'm not to keen on going out with men, after all I know what they are all about...

Don't feel sorry for me, I can do that well enough on my own. And please, whatever you do, DON"T send me your love.



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