Entry #671682, added on 11-15-09 @ 5:08 am EST
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| 10. Reservations | Entry #671682 |
10. Reservations
Riley was waiting for us outside Sam’s room, his expression taut. I would have asked him what was wrong, but I was too wrapped up in my own melancholy over meeting Sam. Nathaniel and Ebony headed off in the opposite direction to the one we’d come in, waving a quick goodbye to us before they went. I was sad to see them go, but I didn’t mind too much as Riley was with me.
We walked back along the corridor in mutual silence, each wrapped up in our own thoughts. As hard as I tried, I couldn’t shake the image of Sam’s frail figure from my mind. I was distracted, though, when I realised just how hungry I was.
“What’s the time?” I asked Riley, reaching for his wrist to check his watch.
“Nearly eight,” he replied, pulling his hand from my grasp before I could properly get a hold of it.
“Wow, no wonder I’m hungry,” I yawned, suddenly worn out. “So, what do you Nephilim do for eating around here, anyway?”
“We Nephilim eat just like you do, Bekah.”
“Oh,” I shrugged. “So you guys don’t have some weird Angel diet or anything? You know, sprinkle a bit of pixie dust on your cornflakes in the morning, something like that?”
“Don’t be stupid, Bekah. You’ve seen me eat thousands of times,” he snapped, his voice on edge.
“I was making a joke, Ry, geeze,” I murmured, surprised by the anger in his tone. “Sorry. I’m just hungry, is all.”
“Well, that’s why we’re going to the kitchens, isn’t it?”
“Oh. Well, how was I supposed to know that?” I glanced around us at the corridor we were walking through--it looked exactly like all the ones before it.
“I don’t know, Bekah.” Riley’s tone made it obvious that he was done talking.
Several minutes of silence later--and several identical-looking corridors too--we arrived in a massive kitchen clad with expensive-looking stainless steel appliances and matching bench tops.
“Nice,” I whistled appreciatively, staring at the almost mesmerizingly shiny surfaces.
“Yeah, well, I guess being descended from Angels pays well for some.” Riley grunted, moving to a massive refrigerator and yanking it open. “Here,” he said, pulling out several handfuls of cold meats and fresh fruit and dumping them into my arms. “Think that should be enough?”
“Plenty,” I murmured, staring apprehensively down at the small mountain of food. “Is this all for me?”
“I wasn’t kidding when I said we eat just like you do--I haven’t been raiding your fridge regularly for the past five years out of boredom” Riley said, rolling his eyes.
“Oh,” I smiled, happy that his mood seemed to have lightened. “I wasn’t sure if you were going to be eating with me.”
“Well, can’t leave you on your own,” he said, his tone turning serious as he shut the fridge door. “We already saw how well that went the first time. Besides, I should stick around in case Alex or Marissa shows up at your door with a bottle of chloroform.”
I gulped, several worrying images running simultaneously through my mind. “Oh.”
“I’m kidding, Beks,” Riley laughed, shaking his head. “That probably won’t happen.”
“Probably?”
He laughed again, taking most of the food from my arms and motioning for me to follow him out of the kitchen without replying.
We were walking down “my” corridor before I realised that we were headed to my room. I was about to ask him why we were eating in there when it occurred to me that the rest of the Nephilim probably didn’t want to have me hanging around while they were eating their dinner. I sighed, once again wishing that I was at home with my mother. A sharp pang tugged at my heart as I pictured her, probably frantic with worry.
“What’s wrong?”
I sighed again, already getting sick of this “empathy” thing that Riley had going on. I knew in the back of my mind that he’d always been this way, and nothing was really different, but somehow that didn’t make it any less annoying.
“You’re the psychic one, why don’t you tell me?”
“Empathic, not psychic,” he corrected, coming to a halt outside a doorway that was presumably mine. “There’s actually a huge difference. I can tell when you’re upset, or angry, or happy, or bored. But I never know why.”
I shrugged. “It all sounds the same to me, Ry. All I know is that you know things that are going on in my head; things that only I should know.”
He sighed, pushing the door open and emptying his haul onto the bed. “I know, Bekah. But I don’t choose to be this way, and I can’t exactly turn it off. Trust me, I’ve tried.”
“Yeah, I guess so,” I replied, dumping my food next to his. “I guess I just thought it would be more fun, you having a superpower.”
“I’m sorry it’s not fun for you, but it’s not exactly a party for me. It’s one thing when I’m only around one person and their emotions are going haywire, but when it’s a group of people, all with conflicting emotions, it’s no picnic.” He shrugged, picking up an apple and biting into it before continuing. “I guess that’s one of the reasons I never really tried to make friends with anyone else at school.”
“Oh, I thought it was because my incredible awesomeness made everyone else pale in comparison,” I joked, forcing an unconvincing laugh.
“Yeah, well, there was that too,” he said, smiling. “Now, I thought you were hungry?”
“Mmm,” I murmured, sitting down on the bed and enthusiastically digging into a cold chicken drumstick.
After we’d eaten our fill, Riley and I lay down on the bed, head to toe, just like we did whenever he stayed the night back home--before my mother banished him to the sofa bed, of course. I sighed, stretching my arms behind my head. It was the most comfortable I’d felt since I’d left my house the previous morning.
“Bekah?”
“Yeah?” I yawned.
“I’m sorry about all of this.” Riley’s voice was heavy, and I sighed, pushing myself up onto my elbows so that I could look at him.
“Don’t be. You’re just looking out for me, right?”
“I know. It’s just... I don’t want you to be unhappy here.”
“Ry, I’ll be fine as long as I’m with you, quit worrying about my feelings.”
He sighed, staring over my shoulder. “It’s hard not to worry about your feelings when I can feel them too.”
“I’m fine, damnit,” I groaned, lying back down. “I was, anyway, until you started with all this.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Stop apologising!” I snapped. “Unless you’re going to let me go home, don’t apologise for keeping me here.”
There was a long, uncomfortable silence, and I started to regret snapping at him.
“Look, I’m sorry.”
“No, maybe you’re right.”
I sat up again, incredulous. “What?”
“Maybe bringing you here was wrong, but I don’t regret it.”
“Yeah, maybe it was. But so what? Why are you bringing it up?”
“I just want you to know that I’m sorry. I’m really, really sorry.”
I rolled my eyes at him, my annoyance growing. “I told you not to do that.”
“Sorry.”
“Whatever, Riley,” I growled, lying down once again. “I’m tired--I think I’d like to go to sleep now.”
“Okay,” he said, promptly swinging his legs off the bed. “See you in the morning.” And then he left, shutting the light off and closing the door as he went, all without a backward glance.
I stared at the doorway for a long time after he was gone, replaying our conversation in my mind. It just didn’t make sense--if he really did sense emotions like he said he could, surely he would have known how annoyed I was getting, so why did he continue? Hell, even without his empathy he should have been able to see the reaction he was causing. It wasn’t like him to deliberately piss me off like that, not at all. I sighed, rolling over to face the wall, trying unsuccessfully to shove the conversation from my mind.
It was hours before I finally managed to drift off, only to face disturbing dreams involving Alex and Marissa sneaking into my room, bottles of chloroform clutched tightly in their hands.
I woke the next morning disoriented, momentarily--blissfully--forgetting where I was. It wasn’t until I looked down and saw little blue Tobey clutched in my arms that I remembered the previous two days, and I sighed, pulling the duvet over my head in lieu of anything more productive to do. I stayed that way for a good ten minutes before the novelty wore off, and I dragged myself out of bed, knowing that it would be useless trying to go back to sleep, despite the low position of the sun through my window.
I changed out of my pyjamas, opting towards a light t-shirt and a pair of jeans, but what I really wanted was a shower. I sat on my bed for a long time, debating whether or not to try and find a bathroom on my own or to just stay where I was and wait for someone to come and show me to one. I’d just decided to get up for about the tenth time when a hesitant knocking sounded from my door.
“Hello?” I called out, worrying images from my dreams popping unwontedly into my head.
“Bekah? Can I come in?” Riley’s voice was cautious, probably because of how we’d left things the previous night, but I was just relieved that it was him at my door instead of one of the not-so-sympathetic Nephilim I’d seen yesterday.
“Sure, Riley, I’m already up.”
He pushed the door open, peering inside. “You hungry?”
“Not so much hungry as dirty. Is there anywhere I can have a shower?”
“Oh, yeah, of course. You ready now?”
“Sure am,” I replied, grabbing my toiletries and jumping off the bed.
I stood in the shower for a long time, relishing the feel of the hot water as it unknotted the tension in my muscles and washed away the previous two days. I was surprised to find Riley waiting outside the bathroom for me when I was finished, settled on the floor with his knees pulled up to his chest.
“You didn’t have to wait for me,” I murmured, thinking guiltily of the extra minutes I’d taken in the shower and then drying my hair. “I could have made it back on my own.”
“Oh, well,” he shrugged, pushing himself to his feet and dusting off his trousers. “Hungry yet?”
“Sure,” I sighed, wishing I could just return to the relative safety of my room.
We walked back past my room so that I could drop off my clothes, and I made sure to count the number of doorways between it and the bathroom, so that I really would be able to make it back on my own the next time.
“So, what’s the plan for today?” I asked on our way to the kitchen, trying to sound enthusiastic. I knew that the tone of my voice couldn’t really fool him, but for some reason I still felt the need to at least attempt to act like I didn’t hate being there. The truth was, though, I was missing my mother terribly, and would have given almost anything to go home.
“Not much, really,” he replied, the corners of his mouth turning down slightly. “But I do have to go and take care of some things at some point, so--”
“You’ll need to leave me on my own for a bit?” I guessed, trying not to roll my eyes.
“Is that alright?” he asked, his tone once again heavy with concern.
I sighed, gritting my teeth. “Yes, Riley, that’s alright. I’m not eight years old, you know--I can manage without a babysitter.”
“If you’re sure,” he shrugged, ignoring my sarcasm entirely.
“Well, if that’s the case, I happen to know an eight year old who does need babysitting.”
I jumped at the sound of Aaron’s voice--I’d had no idea that he was walking behind us.
“Alex?” I grinned at him, imagining what she would say if she’d heard me.
“No,” he laughed, his shoulders shaking as he walked beside us. “Though if you really want to spend more time with her--”
“No, no,” I interjected, stricken. “I think we’ve spent more than enough time together already.”
“Yeah, you’re probably right,” he laughed again. “Anyway, Sam would really love it if you’d drop by; you’re all she talked about after you guys left last night.”
“Oh,” I stammered, unable to think of a more elegant response. “Of course,” I grinned, making sure to pull my lips back over my teeth believably. I could see Riley watching me out of the corner of my eye, but I ignored him.
Aaron looked almost as unconvinced as Riley. “You don’t have to if you don’t want to,” he said slowly.
“No, I want to, of course I do,” I said, hoping that I sounded more convincing the second time around.
“Great,” Aaron smiled, his expression relaxing. “Just drop by whenever, she’s not going anywhere.”
“Awesome, will do,” I said, trying to keep the sigh out of my voice.
“Well, I’d better get back to her,” he said, coming to a halt and waving to us. “See you both later.”
“Bye,” we chorused in unison, pausing to return his wave. I expected Riley to start asking questions the moment he was out of earshot, but he just kept on towards the kitchen in silence. I almost thought I’d gotten away with it, until we sat down in my room to eat our cornflakes.
“What was that about?”
“Mmm? What?” I said around my cornflakes, chewing slowly and deliberately in an attempt to buy myself some time.
“You know what, Bekah. That thing back there with Aaron.”
I shrugged, swallowing my now-pulpy mouthful. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
He eyed me critically for several long moments, and then sighed. “Okay, Bekah.”
I don’t know why I was lying to him. He knew just as well as I did how Aaron’s invitation had made me feel, but for some reason I still felt the need to keep the reason from him, protecting my thoughts--the only part of me that I could keep locked away from him, apparently.
The truth was, thinking about Sam made me uneasy. When I’d been spending time with her the previous night, I’d wanted to give her everything in the world, and to do whatever it took to take away her pain. In the light of day, though, I could remember clearly her haggard form, and the way her eyes seemed to bulge away from her face, as if they were trying to escape the diseased body that held them. I’d never felt comfortable even thinking about death, and being so close to it in such a tiny little girl tore me up inside, reminding me of my father, before he passed.
Staring into Sam’s eyes was painfully like staring into my father’s, so many years before. And as much as I’d tried not to think about it, ever since leaving Sam’s room the previous night, I’d grown more and more reluctant to return a second time. I’d almost been hoping she’d forget about my promise to revisit, but it was obvious from what Aaron had said that that was far from the case.
That afternoon, despite my reservations, I found myself standing outside Sam’s bedroom. Regardless of how uneasy I was around illness, it didn’t change the fact that I’d promised Sam I’d visit again.
Riley rapped quickly on the door before turning to face me. “You’ll be okay here alone?”
I sighed. “I won’t be alone, Riley. I’ll be with Sam, and Aaron.”
He smiled, pulling me unexpectedly into a hug. “You’re right, I shouldn’t worry so much,” he whispered in my ear before letting me go. “I’ll see you later. Try not to get into too much trouble.” And with that, he turned around and strode off in the opposite direction, his long legs quickly taking him around a corner and out of my sight.
“Hey, Rebekah,” Aaron said from the doorway, pulling it open and ushering me inside.
“Bekah!” Sam’s voice chimed from where she sat on the bed, muffled slightly by the duvet that was wrapped around her, all the way up to her nose.
“Hi, Sam,” I smiled, my worries from earlier dissipating. Somehow, when I was actually in Sam’s presence, her debilitating illness seemed less of an issue than when she was out of my sight. Besides, with the duvet covering her frame, she almost looked like a regular eight-year-old.
Almost.
I moved across the room, seating myself beside her on the bed. Aaron moved to sit on her other side, and for a moment it seemed like a long and uncomfortable silence lay ahead of us.
“Is Riley your boyfriend, Bekah?
Well, I was half right.
“What?” I laughed uneasily, my cheeks flushing red instantly. “No, he’s just my very good friend.” I forced another laugh, but it came out more like a bark.
“Oh.” Sam sighed, her disappointment obvious.
Aaron snickered beside us, his laughter barely muffled by the hand covering his mouth.
Sam was quiet for a short moment. “Why not?”
“Because,” I stammered, the heat in my face spreading to my ears and neck. “Well... we just don’t feel that way about each other.” I was quickly regretting agreeing to visit Sam a second time.
“Oh,” she said again, her brow furrowing. “So, you don’t like him? I mean, like like him?”
“He’s my very best friend in the whole world, but no, I don’t like like him,” I laughed at the use of such a long forgotten term.
“But--” Sam protested, and my stomach sank.
“Samantha, that’s enough,” Aaron said sternly, finally managing to smother his giggles.
“Fine,” she pouted.
I sighed, relieved. That was the last thing I wanted to talk about. Aaron caught my eye, smiling warmly, and my unease lifted slightly. “Thanks,” I mouthed behind Sam’s back, glad that he was on my side.
Aaron grinned, jumping up from the bed. “So, what now?”
Several hours and countless rounds of Uno later, I was worn out, and it was obvious that I wasn’t the only one. Sam’s eyes drooped over the edge of her duvet, but each time she realised that she was falling asleep they would flicker open again stubbornly.
“Well, I think it’s someone’s bedtime,” Aaron said, standing up and pulling his arms behind his back.
Sam pouted at her big brother, forcing her eyes wide. “But I’m not tired.”
Aaron laughed, ruffling her hair. “I didn’t mean you, silly, can’t you see Bekah’s exhausted?”
“That’s right,” I nodded, yawning dramatically. “I can barely keep my eyes open.” I squinted at her in an effort to further get the point across.
“All right, all right,” she sighed, doing her best to sound cranky. It wasn’t very convincing, though, when she yawned widely halfway through.
I stood up, stumbling across the room towards the door. Sam’s delighted laugh followed me.
“Bekah?”
“Yeah?”
“Visit again tomorrow?”
I turned to face her, smiling widely. “You know it.” I was halfway through the doorway when I realised that I still didn’t know the way back to my room. “Err, Aaron?”
“Mmm?” he murmured, holding his finger to his lips as he tucked Sam in--she seemed to have lost her battle with sleep already.
I inclined my head out the doorway, indicating that we should talk outside. He nodded, standing slowly to follow me.
“I don’t exactly know my way back to my room,” I whispered once the door was closed, embarrassed.
His laugh filled the corridor, echoing off the wooden floors.
I held my finger to my lips, pointing to the doorway.
“Oh, no, she’ll be fine--these walls are all but soundproof,” he assured me loudly, setting off down the hallway.
I stood outside Sam’s room for several seconds before I realised that he wanted me to follow him, and had to half-run to catch up. “You don’t have to walk me,” I said, frowning at him. “You could just give me directions, or something.”
“Somehow, I don’t think that would turn out terrifically,” he laughed, looking sideways at me as he strode along. “Anyway, I don’t mind at all. Sam’s asleep already, so she won’t be missing me.”
“Alright,” I sighed, glancing around to check that there were no unfriendly Nephilim sneaking up on us. Thinking about it, I did feel better having Aaron with me, an emergency buffer in case we ran into Alex or Marissa. I shuddered, imagining being in an empty hallway alone with either of them.
“Bit chilly in here,” Aaron said conversationally, apparently mistaking my shudder for a shiver from cold.
“Yeah,” I replied, glad for his misconception.
We walked along in comfortable silence, and I tried my hardest to memorise the route. A few minutes later, we were standing outside my room--thankfully, Aaron seemed to know which one it was, because I had no idea. If I’d been alone, I probably would have had to walk all the way to the bathroom and back again just to find it.
Aaron leaned against the wall beside my doorway, watching me. “Thanks for coming around today,” he said, smiling warmly.
“Don’t mention it,” I replied, returning his smile. “I had a great time.”
“Yeah, we did too,” he said, standing up straight. “Sam really likes you, you know.”
“Yeah, I like her too.”
“Great,” he said, his expression turning suddenly serious. “You will come over tomorrow, won’t you?”
“Of course,” I replied, shrugging. “I said I would, didn’t I?”
“Yeah,” he said, the smile slowly returning to his face. “Well, I guess I’ll see you then, then.”
“Sure, thing,” I said, pushing my door open and pausing for a moment. “Goodnight,” I said, when it seemed that he had nothing else to say.
“Goodnight,” he echoed, his eyes never leaving mine as I closed the door to the room.
I turned into the room, heading straight for the bed. My stomach rumbled in appreciation at a plate adorned with a huge, delicious-looking sandwich, sitting in the middle of the duvet next to a scrap of paper. I picked the piece of paper up first, though my stomach told me not to--it was hours since I’d last eaten--and saw that it was a note from Riley:
Bekah, I didn’t know when you’d be finished with Aaron and Sam, so I thought I’d leave this here for you, just so you wouldn’t get any crazy ideas about sneaking off to the kitchen or anything. Sleep well, I’ll see you in the morning.
Riley.
I smiled, putting the note down and digging into my sandwich.
"11. Sunlight"  |
© Copyright 2009 Caitlin Stafford (UN: caitstafford at Writing.Com). All rights reserved.
Caitlin Stafford has granted Writing.Com, its affiliates and its syndicates non-exclusive rights to display this work.
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