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Tuesday
February 14, 2012
10:12pm EST


Content Rating Notice:  Recommended for Readers 18 Years and Older Only
  >> Book >> Personal >> ID #1424914  |   Show DetailsPrinter Friendly Page Tell A Friend
Untitled Tentative Blog-Type Thing
Dueling raccoons! Men In Black! Vertical Horizon! Oh my!
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Entry #676468, added on 11-16-09 @ 10:33 pm EST
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11/16/09Entry #676468
Last night it finally happened. I didn't get to sleep until after 4AM.

I'm going back to fasting fluids, taking in at most 2-3 cups a day, and that only after 4PM. Don't know how helpful that'll be since yesterday I only took in 3 cups and look what happened anyway. The medication has my mouth as dry as leather but I still have over two weeks left to go. I might very well just quit the stupid shit because it's obviously not helping any. If losing over 70oz in a day when I've drunk only 30-40oz isn't proof enough that something's wrong, then I don't know what is.

Output has been quite low all day since around 1PM. I can only hope I can sleep maybe a little bit tonight, though probably not. It feels like it's starting to act up again.

One of the people I mentioned in my next-to-last entry was probably the best and only real friend I've ever had in life. Somebody I longed to get back in touch with, but also rather hoped wouldn't, just so I could hold on to the hope that if we could get back in touch, we'd become the friends we once were. She finally found me and got back in touch. And has apparently forgotten my existence already. Just as I feared would happen. Now my last positive memory of childhood is gone, if someone who I felt was so close, someone who influenced so much of who I am and what I do, can forget me so quickly. It seems that people always leave a much greater impression on me than I leave on them. I genuinely feel that when I'm gone, I will not have left a lasting impression on anyone or anything around me. At least, that's the message I keep getting. I've reached out to so many people, written so many words, done so much that I can, for what? It could all be gone tomorrow without a trace and the world would be no different without me in it. In fact, it would probably be better.

Just life crushing me, as always.

© Copyright 2009 Tehuti, Lord Of The Eight (UN: tehuti_88 at Writing.Com). All rights reserved.
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