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learning to love myself and overcoming Cerebral Palsy not allowing it to overcome me.
|am not like most people I know. I struggle every day. It is the story of my struggles that I want to share with you.
My legs and feet have never worked normal. I can't stand up. I just fall. I can't put my feet flat. After careful consideration my parents decided it was best for me to have surgery. The operation would involve cutting my heal cords and abductors. Only time will tell if the operation worked.
I am in a body cast from the waist down. When the doctors put this heavy cast on they also put two long sticks horizontally between my legs to keep them apart. Sadness fills my heart whenever my caregivers carry me; I am after all, nothing short of an excruciating, dead weight. I wish I could control the stiffness in my body. I try hard but, my body doesn't seem to be in my control sometimes.
I should stop these negative feelings. I need to learn to be patient with my body and follow doctors orders so I can go home. I am still learning about my body and what is wrong with it. Only my parents know that I was born with water on my brain and cerebral palsy.
When I finally did go home, excitement overwhelmed me. Mommy managed to set up a nice, comfortable hospital bed in our living room. I was all settled now, but something was missing. My sister Leigh wasn't there by my side.
I kept asking "Where is my sister?" I miss her. Leigh couldn't go with me to the hospital when I had my surgery. She had school. We play school often. Leigh teaches me things she learns from school. I love my sister so much!
Leigh never treats me different. She loves me very much. I can feel it. She plays with me often. We sing together! I love to sing! I don't have a favorite singer yet. My sisters favorite singer is Donny Osmond(he still is). I love it when she reads to me at night. One of my favorite things we do together is play Barbies. We have so much Barbie furniture. Barbie could have a twenty room mansion! Our Barbies have more clothes then we do. Barbie campers, Barbie pools and Barbie cars,you name it we have it. My sister even has Donny and Marie Osmond dolls.(She still has them today).
I kept looking at the door.
"Mommy,Why is she taking so long? Tell her I want her to come home, please."
Mommy came to the bottom of my bed. "Now Marcy your sister will be here when she gets here."
Finally, after what seemed like forever. The screen door opened in stepped my sister. I was so happy she was home. She looked beautiful to me.
Mommy heard her come in so she asked Leigh if she said hello to me.
Leigh looked over at the hospital bed saying,"That's not my sister!" She ran from the living room crying!
I heard mommy go after her to explain why I looked the way I did.
Mommy told her the cast wasn't hurting me.
Leigh came out of our bedroom,but she didn't come near me until she heard me crying in the middle of the night.
She came to my bedside and asked worriedly; "Whats wrong Marcy?" I wiped my tears away. "My feet hurt."
She asked me if I wanted her to tell mommy. I told her "No"
"Leigh,Will you stay out here with me?"
Leah replied,"Yes on the couch."
Her baby sister smiled at her and offered her own blanket and pillow for the couch.
I never asked her why she ran out of the room earlier. I was just glad she was with me now.
"Hey, Leah can we play tomorrow?''
Leigh answered,"Yes,now go to sleep Marcy."
Even though I was still hurting, I went to sleep feeling much happier and safer just knowing my sister was closer.
The next morning I was still in pain so I told mommy.
"You would feel better if you took your medicine."
I don't like to take medicine it makes me feel funny.
Mommy made me eat breakfast and take my medicine anyway.
I must have fallen back to sleep because when I woke up Leigh was beside my bed asking me if I was ready to play.
I shook my head "Yes!"excitedly; wondering what we could play with me in bed.
Leigh ran to our bedroom. On her way back to me she yelled,"Close your eyes and no peeking."
I yelled back, "OK." I loved surprises so, I did as she asked.
It took more then one trip to our bedroom for her to bring out everything she wanted.
I could feel her next to me again.
She reminded me not to look.
"I won't I told her." I closed my eyes tighter. I could feel her put stuff on my bed. Leigh climbed on my bed she set to work on her surprise. While she worked she asked me if my feet still hurt today. I told her mommy gave me pain medicine.
Leigh began to tell me she came up with this idea last night when she was trying to go back to sleep.and she couldn't wait to try it today. Finally,Leah told me I could open my eyes.
When I did the sight in front of me was awesome! My sister had setup a Barbie house; between my legs. Everything was placed at my reach! How clever of her to use the sticks that held my legs apart as the walls to separate the living room and the kitchen! I couldn't stop smiling! We Played for hours.(This is a memory I will treasure now, always and in eternity)