Walking Through The Valley
My journey through the valley with Cancer as my companion.
|It has been a while. We have worked for well over a year to get my body stabilized--or at least as stablizied as we can. We have had a very few good months, where I was more of a person than a patient. The past three weeks, however have pretty much seen a year's work diminish. The effects of the stroke are much more prevalent, and my old friends, the blood clots are back. With a vengence.
Today, for instance, I got a double dose of Coumadin, and a double dose of Lovinox. My job today? Bedrest. Again. Feet higher than heart. The left leg seems to be the primary continuing problem atm, as the circulation is near zero. Much pain, and almost impossible to walk. We haven't found all the clots yet. My Doctor, a truly amazing man, is very upset with the situation. This is primarily due to the fact that I have been taking what is generally considered to be a lethal dose of Coumadin every day for the past year. So, how does one develop an entire army of blood clots throughout the body?
Just lucky, I guess.
Please know that I am not here involuntarily. I think fondly of, and pray for this community daily. I'll work my way back, again. Again. I'm just stubborn that way. I have not been completely idle, however. I have been pulled, kicking and screaming, out of my very willing self-retirement from the political life, and am writing a lot of political stuff. I keep it off-site to avoid the potential usurpation of the good will this community has given me over the past years. I have become quite the political animal, it would seem. Where I live, one with my political beliefs must take on predatory skills just to survive. And I also have a new radio talk show, each Sunday afternoon that discusses the political scene in the American South.
The writing continues, very, very slowly. The second book is nearing first draft completion. I was 80% in November. I am 90% today. Slowly.
As many have written to me regarding the Annual Lenten Adventure for 2012 (and the Advent Adventure before that), sadly their result is a direct reflection of the realities of my life. In the silence, however, the relationships have sustained me, and the work has been internal. Hopefully, we will "reset" for Advent 2012, and Easter 2013.
I ask you to keep these activities in your best thoughts, and in your prayers. I have believed since beginning them that they were a real ministry--to someone. I mean, someone besides myself. Those of you who ARE adventurers know precisely what I mean. Life-changing is not something easily forgotten, nor easily withheld. Were it possible to do so, I would have done them. I will do them, with God's grace, blessing, and love, again.
Mentally, I am ok. Spiritually, I am strong. Physically? Well, that's just too complicated to examine at the moment. Think complete and total train wreck, and back it off a quarter turn. That's where you'll find me. I remain in His Grace. I pray the same for you. Funny, all the entries of this journey through the valley have indicated footsteps for me. Now, those are in question. I love and miss you all. So much. Yet, and in all of this, I Do remain,
In His Care,