I found out over the weekend that I have been let go from my job and let me tell you that this bit of news was a breath of fresh air. I am so relieved! So happy! I am finally free! I am gonna try to make the most of my free time cause I will have to start looking for new opportunities soon.

 

I've found this great group online that you might be interested in. It's called A Truth Universally Acknowledged and can be found at this link: http://austenism.gather.com/

Here you will find stuff about Jane Austen books and much more... Go ahead and check it out.

 

I am currently working on a new book of verse Diary of a Crush. It will contain poetry, songs, and fantasies (written in prose form) about crushes, love, relationships, heartbreak, and anything else related to guys. Not all pieces will necessarily be of a completely personal nature but there will still be bits of my experiences in each one. You will surely relate to the content in the book. As this is a work-in-progress, the release date for this book is yet to be determined.

If you have stories of your own to tell about crushes feel free to share them… I’d love to read them.
 

I just ordered a poetry book by Amber Tamblyn Free Stallion, which was published in 2005. I've wanted to get her book before but for some reason could not find it, and now I have and can't wait to receive it and dive in. Her book is published under Simon & Schuster but for some reason it is under the children's publishing division, which according to reviews I've seen is the wrong classification for the book, and I agree. Perhaps at the time she published her book her age was not old enough for Simon & Schuster to publish it and so they did it under the children's publishing division. Otherwise it makes no sense. I wish I could publish my book through Simon & Schuster too. I wonder how that could be done...

 

What do you do when someone you love, adore, and care about, who feels the same way about you, just vanishes from your life without a word or an explanation? How do you go on when days go by and you still don't hear from the person? How do you go on when with each passing day you miss the person like crazy and any hope that you've got of him returning seems to shrink and shrink? How do you find out what's going on? How do you cope? What can you do to stop the worry in your mind that you've been left behind, and that perhaps the person is going through something bad and you can't help in any way?

So many questions. So many questions waiting to be answered. Living each day not knowing what's to come of it. Finding myself sinking into the down emotion and tasting the salty tears as they cover my face. And all because that person that I adore, love, and care about, that person who feels the same way about me (at least did before he disappeared), has vanished without a trace, without so much as an explanation. Days go by and I am filled with worry that something bad happened to him, filled with sadness because I miss him so much, filled with even more sadness at the thought that he is never coming back.

Yeah I can try to write songs about it, but that will not solve the problem. They are not gonna make me a happy person, not as long as I spent my days to come without the guy who means so much to me. It will take a very long while to get myself to a point where I won't fall into sorrow at the thought that he is no longer in my life...

 

I was born in Minsk, Belarus where the winters were filled with lots of snow, at times even up to my knees. I loved to play in the snow, and built snowmen. It always cheered me up, and I had lots of fun when snow was around.

Now that I am 26 and living in New York City I still feel the same way about snow. I love it a lot and I always wish for it on my birthday on Dec 24th and throughout the whole winter in fact. Sometimes my wish comes true but sometimes it doesn't. Either way whenever it snows my spirits are lifted and I feel very happy. If I was sad I no longer am.

I love to touch the snow, throw it, play with it, built castles or snowmen or whatever else out of it, and I don't care that I am 26 and not a kid anymore.

This winter it snows more than it did last winter and I am thrilled about that. It snowed yesterday in fact. And in the evening time when I got home I shoveled the snow near our house and then I had me some more fun and built a snow castle. I really enjoyed myself, and the weather was perfect. I had the best time, and my mood which had been down earlier was no longer that way. I was very happy and smiling and thinking happy thoughts... And that's the way I like it...

 

My birthday is coming up on the 24th of Dec. I can't wait for it to come and see what surprises are in store for me. I already got a little early birthday present and that was snow. It didn't accumulate though but at least I got to see it fall and I got to stand under the falling snow at night. Awesome... I wonder what surprise I will get from close friends and from the guy that I love.

 

Well, I finally left my job, though not in the best way since it was via email without advance notice. Being out of that job should be great, and in some way it is, but I am not very happy with what I am doing right now job-wise. This first week I am working from home due to remodeling at the office, and that sucks. I hate working from home. Besides, I am not at all enjoying what I am doing...I wish I were doing something interesting for a change, something that I will actually look forward to doing. But for now that is not to be... :( Maybe things will change a bit when I go to the office, but I doubt though... So, I went from one boring job to another. But my salary should be a bit higher than at my last job so that is good.
 

Speaking up should not be a problem and there is nothing to fear. Yeah, sometimes in certain circumstances there might be something to fear; but when clearly there isn't anything to fear in certain situations then speaking up shouldn't be a problem and I shouldn't have to worry.

Well, I seem to be having this problem. When it comes to going up to head people and telling them about things like days off, or leaving early, or about asking for vacation, or about money, or some other such things, I am terrified. I just can't bring myself to just go up to them and let them know.

I am supposed to be leaving for vacation in December and I have not told them yet. And time is soon approaching. I didn't tell them before because I thought they would forget about it so I wanted to wait till it was a month or so away before telling them. It is not like I will be asking for permission to take a vacation. The package has been bought and paid for already with no refunds, so I have no choice but to go even if they say no. So, I have to go up and tell them soon. I can't wait till the last minute, yet the thought of doing it terrifies me and I can't bring myself to do it. I know there is nothing to be afraid of and even if they fire me or I end up having to leave it doesn't bother me. This is not where I should be anyway, yet I can't do it. I might try writing an email but there will be a confrontation sooner or later and I am afraid of that.

I need to figure out how to change and muster up the courage to go and tell them and I need to figure out how to get rid of this fear for good so that no matter where I work it all comes with ease for me...But how? I have no idea. I have to figure this out, otherwise my life will be ruined.

 

My three books are finally on Amazon in the US and available for sale. Woohoo! I'm so excited! Can't wait for them to hit Borders and B&N, among other places. I want my books in the hands of millions and I want them to sell like crazy and be very popular. And yeah I could use some revenue from them too...