"Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness, and the word happy would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness." -- Carl Jung

Today we went to a memorial for our friend’s severely handicapped daughter who died suddenly this month. She was twenty two and lived in a group home because her mother has some bad health problems and is no longer physically able to take care of her. But no family could have loved this little girl more. Her dad usually tries to keep his emotions in check (both parents seem to do that) but he choked up when he told us he had just bought the girl some things to take to her on Thanksgiving. Our friends are wonderful people. All three of their daughters were adopted and they’ve had so many problems. It just doesn’t seem fair that one family should suffer so many trials. But of course, life isn’t fair. They also donated their daughter’s organs.

After the memorial Jack and I went down to the Library Services. Today was the last day for the five dollar a bag sale. It was extremely crowded and walking in we didn’t expect to find much. But each of us filled a bag pretty quickly. I wanted some lighter more humorous novels and I found three by authors I like and have enjoyed before. About half my bag was full of videotapes, too. I didn’t see any DVDs but they still had some pretty good VHS movies. That’s one place I will go and tolerate a crowd, at least for a while. Although when we walked out Jack said, “ I sure hope nobody in there had the H1N1.”

And since were already out and about we treated ourselves to the India Garden in Broad Ripple. It has probably been a year since we’ve been there. We used to go regularly, at least once a month, but it started not tasting quite as good. It was really good today though. There must be a lot of tryptophan in that food, though, because every time we go there both of us need to take a nap. I haven’t been sleeping much so it worked out well.

 

“A man who is master of himself can end a sorrow as easily as he can invent a pleasure. I don't want to be at the mercy of my emotions. I want to use them, to enjoy them, and to dominate them.” Oscar Wilde

“Any emotion, if it is sincere, is involuntary” Mark Twain

I’m in the middle of reading my 59th novel for the year, “the Garden of Last Days” by Andre Dubus III. He also wrote “The House of Sand of Fog” which I read several years ago. They made a movie of that one starring Ben Kingsley and Jennifer Connelly. They did a good job with the movie but both it and the book were very sad. I think this book probably will end up being sad, too. It’s not as good as Sand and Fog, though, at least so far.

I just looked back at the last six or seven books I’ve read and they were all good, but they were also serious. I think I need to read something lighter next. Maybe a couple of something lighters.

My feelings were all over the board yesterday, washing though me like I was surfing with the remote control. I’d go from happy to sad to pissed off to content to nervous and all the way around again and again. I didn’t enjoy it at all, but I do feel a lot better today. It helped that I decided I’m going to go visit my kids in Washington State before the end of the year. It’s been over a year since I’ve seen either of them and even then it wasn’t for a happy reason. Jack thinks it’s a good idea for me to go, too, and what better time than during this season that I dread. I told my daughter that I was going to come out there and she was thrilled, but then she asked if I was okay. We’re just getting a little too used to bad news and I think we need to put an end to that for awhile. I feel better already.

The following quote might go better in another blog, maybe about communication. But I don't want to lose it so I'll use it.
“When dealing with people, remember you are not dealing with creatures of logic, but with creatures of emotion, creatures bristling with prejudice, and motivated by pride and vanity” Dale Carnegie



 

Ordinarily he was insane, but he had lucid moments when he was merely stupid. Heinrich Heine

I quit therapy because my analyst was trying to help me behind my back.
Richard Lewis

Shun the Facebook games if you must, but for me right now, they’re cheaper than therapy. Where else can I design a farm or a park, decorate and redecorate an apartment and buy a great new wardrobe whenever I want without spending a dime? The one thing I have to watch out for is obsessively making a job out of them instead of a game.

My former coworker left me a voice mail the other day bringing flashbacks of last year at this time. I felt nauseous and almost panicky, and I sent her an email answer rather than call her back. During the three years I worked that job, she and I were the only two paid employees. She knows her job frontwards and backwards and is excellent at what she does. However, she’s an extremely strong personality and I spent a lot of my time soothing ruffled feathers and putting out brushfires between her and some of the board members and volunteers. The real problems came on at the end of last year when my mother was in hospice and I was working time and a half for half-time pay and all of the scutwork and actual labor fell to me. I doubt I’d have even survived if Jack hadn’t helped me as much as he did – for free. The good thing is that the back-to-back deadlines and the pressure from her helped me decide to quit. I had shingles by then and decided it wasn’t worth ruining my health.

Anyway, they’ve asked me for a few things off and on this year and it was no big deal. Her question was really no big deal either, but my body didn’t seem to know that. And today I had to dig up my copy of an updated mailing list for them. I knew better than to get rid of my copies of all the paperwork and stored it all on our external drive. But she invited me to this year’s seminar and I won’t be going. I said I was taking the year off and I meant it. Of course it’s not like I’ve done nothing. I’ve read 58 novels and played a lot of Facebook games. I might just take next year off, too.

Creativity not committed to public purpose is merely therapy or ego satisfaction.
Ernest A. Jones
So what’s your point, Ernest?







Paige Turner

 

It 's possible to forgive someone a great deal if he makes you laugh.
Carolyn Llewellyn

Life does not cease to be funny when people die; any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh. George Bernard Shaw

I know what I want for Christmas this year. I don’t usually have any idea what I want. (Jack has a Santa request list he begins in October.) In fact I usually dread the holiday season for a lot of reasons. But this year I don’t want to feel like my whiny melancholy self. I really don’t. And that’s why I want this gift for Christmas.

The other night we went to Cracker Barrel for supper. We don’t frequent the corporate chains too much, but when we feel the need for comfort food it’s off to the Cracker Barrel. If you’ve ever been to one of these restaurants you know that the whole front area is a big gift shop. When we walked through the gift area to the hostess stand I heard something laughing. Jack told me it was a turkey, but after our meal I walked back out there and saw that it was a little laughing dog. He lay in a wire basket on a lower shelf and when anyone walked in front of him he rolled around laughing helplessly until you moved away. Even though he doesn’t have the most melodic laugh I’ve ever heard, for some reason he struck me as adorable. His laugh was contagious, and I decided that he’s exactly what I want Santa to bring me this year. And I’m sure he will.

A hearty laugh gives one a dry cleaning, while a good cry is a wet wash.
Puzant Kevork Thomajan

 

Laughter is the sensation of feeling good all over and showing it principally in one place. – Josh Billings

Last year I subscribed to a magazine called Ode because it said it was “for intelligent optimists.” Not that I necessarily felt either optimistic or intelligent, but I knew I needed something that could help me feel more positive. And this year I need it more than ever. I think we all do.

I’ve been reading their issue that’s entirely about laughter: how laughter evolved; why laughter in the workplace makes business sense; the health benefits of laughing, and more.

There are several different kinds of laughter explained in a sort of field guide. I’ll paraphrase or editorialize or create my own definitions here:

Belly laugh involuntary and intoxicating laugh that bypasses the brain and goes right to the funny bone

Cackle like the Wicked Witch of the West of course

Chuckle he-he-he or ha-ha-ha meaning I agree, approve, or maybe don’t really know what you’re talking about

Contemptuous laugh specialty of the mocking bully or the snob (we all probably know a few of each)

Existential laugh subdued laugh at seemingly inappropriate times like during discussions of death and taxes. This reminds me of one of my favorite episodes of the old Mary Tyler Moore Show where Mary had an embarrassing laughing fit at the funeral of Chuckles the Clown. In fact her laugh turned into more of a belly laugh, with tears. (see above)

Giggle like the Big Bopper sang “A wiggle and a walk and a giggle and a talk made the world go round”

Guffaw explosive laugh that gets the whole body involved

Nervous laugh perfect for embarrassing situations like "oh, was I speeding, officer?"

Revolutionary laugh flipping the bird to power

Satirical laugh shake your head and say "if I didn’t laugh I’d have to cry"

Social laugh inviting to socialize laugh - songlike in women, apelike in men

I haven’t read the entire issue yet. I’m reading it bit by bit as a reminder of how important laughter really is to our health and happiness. I love to laugh, although sometimes I need to make a conscious effort to find my sense of humor, thpse times when I take myself too seriously.

My favorite aunt laughs about the time a woman came up to her and said, “I always thought your mother was so pretty. You must take after your dad.”

My great aunt has a cute story, too. Once when she noticed a friend’s new jacket, the friend said, “This thing is so big. I don’t even know why I bought it. It would fit an elephant! Do you want it Betty?”

I love the way inhercat frequently uses the acronym LMAO (laugh my ass off). Another one that Thomas used when he was around more is ROFL (rolling on the floor laughing). For some reason I don’t seem to get past the basic LOL (laugh out loud) most of the time. Maybe I need to stop being so prissy and just LMAO.





 

I'm gonna live till I die
I'm gonna laugh stead of cry
I'm gonna take the town turn it upside down
I'm gonna live, live, live until I die

When Jack’s son was small Jack’s grandmother was a moaner and a complainer. Every holiday she’d say “this could be my last one.” One year Little Fred piped up with “If she lives, she lives. If she dies, she dies.” She lived to be about 97.

Every birthday and holiday Jack’s dad said, “let’s do it again next year.” Until the last month or so we began to think he was going to outlive all of us. He died tonight at 97. My mother died last year on this day about the same time.

I may have already told you that Fred had some advice for his other grandmother. She wasn’t really old at the time, probably in her fifties. But she was a worrier, constantly stewing about something. One day her told her, “Relax Grandma, and enjoy your final days.” Now Jack and I remind ourselves that’s what we need to do - relax and enjoy our final days. I think that’s a very good philosophy, because we just never know. If we live, we live. If we die, we die. And any day could be our final day.

Before my numbers up I'm gonna fill my cup
I'm gonna live, live, live, live until I die

(But I do hope this is the last entry I make about death for awhile.)



 

The sooner I fall behind, the more time I have to catch up. ~Author Unknown

Procrastination is something best put off until tomorrow. ~Gerald Vaughan

We put off buying any Halloween candy until the last minute. We didn’t really expect any Trick or Treaters, but we thought we should have some candy on hand just in case. Two Reese’s are gone from the package. Guess who ate them.

The bright white nearly full moon shone in a clear inky sky last night. It was a lovely sight as we walked to the car from the grocery store. Then I did a double take as I spied two nudists walking across the parking lot. My second glance showed them to be wearing nude costumes, but they were very convincing, embarrassingly so.

I was thinking since this is the first day of a new month that I’d begin a whole new blog. But I decided that I don’t want to go to the trouble right now. Maybe I’ll do it in January. I doubt I’ll have this one filled up since I’ve been writing so hit and miss.

Anyway, since it is a new month and so many people are doing NaNo, I did join the CYBER SIDE OF BLOG LIFE/ CLOSED . I’m certainly not as ambitious as you “novel writing fools,” but it’s a commitment I think I can keep. And it’s a good incentive to get back to some consistent writing. I think it’s going to be good for me. I’ve already made my entry today and still decided to make an entry here. Watch my smoking fingers!

Now if I can only get a kick start on all the other projects hanging over my head I should be in pretty good shape.

Anyone can do any amount of work, provided it isn't the work he is supposed to be doing at that moment. ~Robert Benchley