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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/books/item_id/1093586-The-Manifesto-Remix
by Z.˚rz
Rated: 18+ · Book · Satire · #1093586
New and Improved... but only slightly.
THE MANIFESTO REMIX
You've been pwn'd by ☡.☠

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March 24, 2010 at 2:06pm
March 24, 2010 at 2:06pm
#691235
... on their blogging! This guy!

School has been insane! I have two classes but it's almost like I have four. Enough about that though...

So whatever happened with Health Care, did we pass that? I heard something to the effect that we did, but I was too busy watching Kate Gosslin on Dancing With The Stars. Then I saw that the Octomom is going to lose her home! Then I saw that Sarah Palin is getting a reality TV show! Then I saw that Blago is having some TV troubles... my God, all the pertinent news issues happening!

Thank you all for the B-Day wishes. It was a festive day... primarily spent crying and cursing my wasted youth, but then I regained my composure and drank away my troubles, like a mature adult should.

I am presently writing this from school and am admittedly failing at my WdC duties, but I hope you will forgive me... if not... well, then you never truly understood how deep and meaningful our friendship truly was. For shame! *Cry*


March 14, 2010 at 11:25am
March 14, 2010 at 11:25am
#690229
... tradition:

[Embed For Use By Upgraded+]
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eIPR4OSElEs


Thanks to everyone for their birthday wishes, I will be sure to pass those along to Einstein, Billy Crystal, Frank Borman and Michael Caine...

Also, I have not record this for history's sake: That runaway Prius story out in Cali... I said there was something fishy about that, and by Gates, it looks like I may have been right!

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20100314/ap_on_bi_ge/us_runaway_prius

Now if you'll excuse me...
March 13, 2010 at 11:50am
March 13, 2010 at 11:50am
#690154
... lackin, drrrrty?

How's the revolution? We still kickin'? Even when we win an election they make us rage against their machine don't they?

So, Chief Jank-ass Roberts and his Band of Merry Mistrials allow for greater corporate involvement in the peoples' elections, I see. 80% of Americans dislike that idea, but our sense of humor hasn't been dampened has it? Dig the vid:

[Embed For Use By Upgraded+]
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HHRKkXtxDRA


I like nothing better than a quality exercise in discord! So when I read that a congressional candidate in Maryland, Murray Hill, is actually Murray Hill, Inc. I got nothing but laughs!

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wpdyn/content/article/2010/03/12/AR2010031204127.h...

I may register as a Maryland Republican just to vote in the primary!

The best part is that while we've been hunkered down under a year of partisan, rhetoric assault, both sides can come together with a laugh at this high court faux pas. The last time I remember laughing with repubs... when Lord Vader-Cheney blasted a dude in the face with a shottie.

To be fair, that was a preemptive strike, that guy hated Cheney's freedom.

In any event, I hope you're all having lovely weekends and that tomorrow we can all celebrate the one birthday worth celebrating... that's right, tomorrow is Billy Crystal's birthday! Happy 62nd, B-Crys!
March 12, 2010 at 11:23am
March 12, 2010 at 11:23am
#690073
... online, her names Colleen, Colleen La Rose and she wants to "recruit" me to be a "sleeper". The double entendres just keep coming! Meeeoooow!

In any event, it's a grey day here in the Lou and I expect it will remain so through Sunday... Sunday = *Sad*... (I apologize for being all emo, but that's what this time of year does to me).

Animals are dying everywhere!

Lookee'ere at China where 11 Siberian Tigers died... of natural causes, and in no way related to the fair and almost benevolent treatment they received while being reeducated for supporting Google.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20100312/ap_on_re_as/as_china_tiger_deaths

And then here at Kenya where the demand for ivory is soaring! ... and without the ebony to balance it out, we're looking at some confusing pianos! http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20100312/ap_on_re_af/af_kenya_ivory_sales

And then there are the bats in Virginia that have big ears but small wills to survive it seems.
http://www.wired.com/wiredscience/2010/03/big-eared-bat-captive-colony/

All of these animal deaths can only mean one thing... Obama's America is failing! Socialism kills kitties! Glenn Beck+Jesus= 2012! That was three things, but to the same point...

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=73Pbs8hKCEc
March 11, 2010 at 5:48pm
March 11, 2010 at 5:48pm
#690006
.. goodnight sweet prince.

Sorry about missing a day yesterday but I was busy... rocking balls off at the Flogging Molly show! Ah what? Ah yeah, kickin' it celtic style all up in that piece! The Guinness is always extra tasty when you're belting out "Rebels of the Sacred Heart" with a thousand or so of your closest friends.

[Embed For Use By Upgraded+]
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gdlkx_cIqtE


The Micks and Prots of St. Louis forgot about the Troubles and 26+6 really did equal 1 (although, there's this American interpretation of the Troubles that just assumes the whole thing is about uniting Ireland, both Catholics and Protestants think this). Now that I'm warmed up, I feel that I can go to Dogtown on the 17th and fully appreciate Saint Patrick's Day.

There was a dark spot on the evening which was the opening act, The Ar¢hitects. From KCMo, they came in tight pants and ≠ fun. See, when the band comes on stage and introduces themselves like this: "We're the Architects from KCMo, and we only got songs about two things. Drugs and law enforcement!" I'm too confused to enjoy the show.

I'm asking myself, "Does that mean your songs are about enforcing drug laws?" I gleaned no answer from their lyrics.

Besides that fun bit of Irish styled drinking and what not, I ain't done s*Shock**Shock*t! It's Spring Break! What am I supposed to do?
March 9, 2010 at 8:47pm
March 9, 2010 at 8:47pm
#689790
... broke & desperate.

http://omg.yahoo.com/news/lindsay-lohan-suing-e-trade-for-milkaholic-parody/3713...

She's suing E-trade because a baby in the commercial was named "Lindsay"... for $100 million... need I go further?

Some people's children... I swear.

In any event, I am no one's children and have no children of my own, which makes me the perfect judge and jury (executioner too if it comes to that) for these little Hollywood hot-shots who think they can sue babies on TV when they get broke.

Does anyone remember Hailey Joel Osmett? He once tried to sue the makers of the "My Buddy" doll for making a doll that looked like him before he looked like what him did... or something. Taylor Swift is suing the Popeye people to ensure that she's the only public figure with, well, her figure, something she shares with Olive Oyl.

The worst child star has got to be "Balloon Boy". First, he never got in the balloon, which to me is just like a breach of contract! He loses all rights to that name. It's like when the kids at school call me monkey-fart breath... HELLO! You've never smelled a monkey-fart, hence you lack proof, hence the name is not qualified!

The biggest reason he's the worst child star is that his reality TV show failed before it even began! Maybe if he had been in the balloon, then flew it over Tehran... maybe then I'd be impressed... but today, not so much.

If I put something inappropriate on your face would you be mad at me?

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NisCkxU544c


Like da boss.
March 8, 2010 at 8:30pm
March 8, 2010 at 8:30pm
#689698
... did I fall off the wagon! Man, I spent a week under a bar last night!

Anyhoo, I missed all your faces, and some of you... well, your other parts. { e:dirtyoldmanwink}

We are rapidly approaching the annual birth anniversary of yours truly. I will be turning twenty-secondnumberislessimportantthanthefirst years old. This year for the horrid occasion I have asked Santa to bring me a bottle of Thunderbird and a length of twine... what I do with that is my business!

But what I really should have asked for is this piece of gnarly hardware! http://www.wired.com/magazine/2010/02/st_dangerousobject_shocknife That could get some things done... done my way that is!

It's International Women-folk Day and what better way to celebrate than by hanging out with Ben Rothlisberger! http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20100308/ap_on_sp_fo_ne/fbn_roethlisberger_investigat...

Researchers say that a pizza and soda tax could reduce obesity... http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20100308/hl_nm/us_food_tax, cause If cigarette taxes have taught us anything...

Well, it's good to be back, and I can promise I will be here until the next time finals come around... in about nine weeks. So we'll just stay as gangsta as we can, dogs! That means we kick it Star Wars style!

[Embed For Use By Upgraded+]
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=493ljyoox6o


Run to Dagobah! Run to Dagobah!
March 1, 2010 at 9:48am
March 1, 2010 at 9:48am
#688996
... not my heartstrings.

Hi, as you may or may not have noticed, I haven't been around a lot. March will be different though, I swear it by Odin (Mithra too, just to cover my ass).

School's winding down for the term, which means Spring Break O-10 is nearly upon us! My plans... going to Myrtle Beach and getting Dixie Drunk... in my mind. I'm going to be stuck in the Lou unfortunately, waiting for either student loan money, a job, or my bank heist to come off. Gonna be a boring Spring Break O-10.

Let's do some jokes - What do we have? Chile? Not funny... Politics... not funny... Boner died... only slightly funny... Oh! Here we go!

"Scientists Build Gun to Memic Meteorite Crash" http://www.space.com/scienceastronomy/meteorite-amino-acid-am-100225.html

That's got Texas written all over it. There's only one way to do science in Texas and it's with a gun. Get me my gun and hide behind the gas tanks, I'ma shoot some science! Unfortunately, I heard today that the scientists did not pass their background check. I wonder what the waiting period is on a meteorite gun?

This brings up a whole slew of other gun-based experiments that need to be addressed. Like, what happens when kitties are put in guns and shot at the Moon? Or, what happens if we put the Moon in a gun and shoot it at the Earth?

NASA is scrapping its plans to return to the Moon I've heard. Which means that North Korea is really the only country working to truly understand our moon, known as the Moon.

[Embed For Use By Upgraded+]
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bZIgda01k6o
February 22, 2010 at 5:20pm
February 22, 2010 at 5:20pm
#688337
... but I seem to have misplaced a member of the "Growing Pains" cast.

How 'bout them 'mericans! Did you watch it? Did you see it? The AmeriCANS beat the CANTnadians last night 5-3 in an epic hockey extravaganza. The first time the US mens team has beaten our neighbors to the north since 1960!

Dear Mike Babcock... PULL YOUR FREAKING GOALIE WHO SKATES 15 FEET OUT OF THE CREASE!

But enough about the Olympics, let's talk about Chatroulette, which is a site that randomly links video chatters. http://www.chatroulette.com/ So you go on, you get linked up with who knows who, and you chat it out. F*Smirk**Smirk*k that.

The last thing I need is to set up my webcam by the fire place, put on my best leopard print drawers and get hooked up with a Nigerian prince who needs me to launder some money from a plane crash... I figure if it works in analog, the scam must work even better in video.

I have no webcam anyway. I don't need that pressure. If I'm chatting on line I'm doing it for a reason... that reason being that I'm in my '97 BoCoMo Festivus (Were you there... Everclear closed) T-shirt and haven't shaved in four days. If I wanted to see you, I'd invite you out.

The only thing webcams are good for are strong, independent and confident young women who desire to show their bodies to the world as a form of artistic expression. And that's it...

This past weekend a radio station here in THE Lou did a little something called the "Way Back Weekend". That's where they play a lot of "old school jams"... old school like the 90s... *Sad* I'm old and dying!

[Embed For Use By Upgraded+]
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BGvd-C7bw8g
February 20, 2010 at 11:40am
February 20, 2010 at 11:40am
#688088
... behind here, but I fully intend to get caught up on the business of reading and crafting blogimations.

I finished my HELL week! Two presentations and two papers done on time and to a degree of A+-nocity. Boom.

My religion, conflict and the state professor invited me out for a beer to clear the air. I have accepted and we are on terms of understanding, minds have met through our thick skulls. While we may not agree, we have both decided to not be so defensive, etc. etc. Kosher.

I think though, honestly, cause he came to me when he certainly didn't have to, it was the rest of the classes reactions and behavior through the last few weeks that kicked that off. I don't want to say he thinks I'm a ring leader or anything, but being the most vocal, if you quieted me, it may influence the rest. I dunno, we've been trying to figure it out.

As for the final paper... topic C...

[Embed For Use By Upgraded+]
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=piVnArp9ZE0


Evacuate! Evacuate! IT'S A TRAP!!!!

I did my presentation for that class on Tibet, so I think I may just keep that ball rolling with topic E. Spread it out wider to Desmond Tutu as well. I dunno...

As for the Olympics... the US women's hockey team ran the score up on Russia... and their 16 YEAR OLD GOALIE. Poor girl. There's a woman from Slovakia in one of my classes who, commenting on Slovakia's 18-0 loss to the Canadian Women's Hockey team said, and I quote, "Those girls need to work in a factory and then they will perform. They need to work from 6am to 6pm in a factory." - NO! They need to practice hockey! *Laugh*

I have missed you all, some more than others, and some not at all. You know who you are !*Angry*! I'm going to catch up on reading your writings I swear it by Greyskull!

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