... Christmas time. Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa- Humbug!

This year's X-Mas is looking like it's going to B-low a big one. I can't rouse my inner child to the level of "wonderment" over the lights and what-nots. I can barely get aroused () to the level of "disinterested".

I think it has to do with my family's having shrunk to 4 (+ 1 on the way). We've been ostracized and what not by the hub of our family tree because of weddings un-attended and wives of cousins not getting along. Personally, I'm like whatever, but I think this has peripherally contributed to my apathy.

But, because it's my duty and I love you (but am not in love with you) I will now offer my tips on celebrating the holidays with these key holiday items.

A HOLIDAY MOVIE: Die Hard. Hands down the best X-Mas movie ever no matter what anyone else on this site will say in the comments. It teaches the true importance of X-Mas, which is securing hostages from international thieves. Also, you need a machine gun "ho...ho...ho". So, pop this one in and curl up next to someone special. "Yippee-ky-yay, mother-fker".

A HOLIDAY BOOK: "A Child's Christmas in Wales". It's been a long time since I've read this, and I can't remember why the little kid lives in a wale, but I assume it has something to do with the bible. Anyhoo, there's a fire in the story and then they get out of the wale and get their presents.

A HOLIDAY SONG: