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Psalm 34:18 (King James Version)
18The LORD is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit.
Dealing with grief is hard to describe unless you have been through it first hand. I lost my mom Oct. 16, 2004 and my world changed forever. I had lost loved ones along the way just not someone so close. I had a hard time dealing with my grief, we had to clean out my mom's apartment so this made it so much harder to deal with her death, it was like I was taking her memory away. When we got everything packed and taken to it destination we closed the door for the last time to her apartment, that was hard to do, knowing it would be the last time we would be back to her apartment. When all her things were in place and we were preparing for the cleanup it was like she was on vacation, and it was peaceful.
A few days after we had finished the apartment I went to call my sister who lives in the same town mom did and I dialed mom's old number by habit and got that it had been disconnect and realized that was exactly how I felt. To know that she would never answer that phone again hit me like a ton of bricks so I cried.
Now what I would like to say is there is three phases and some last a long time, there is denial, anger, and acceptance. I had finally realized that emotionally I was praying she would answer but that would never happen. Now don't get me wrong for one minute I was not wishing mom back she was in a much better place, I was trying to get pass the pain of missing her and the pain is less on some days but remains strong at times like holidays, birthdays, and especially Mother's Day.
If you are dealing with grief, it will take time a lot of time, and strong family communications. Make sure you have someone to talk to my husband is my best friend so I was very lucky to have someone who will listen no matter how stupid my words my seem. If you like writing , keep a journal, or diary,write poems if you like writing poetry. This is exactly how I dealt with my grief, I prayed for God to give me a job and He did. I started writing Christian poetry and begin reading it in church and by the grace of God that is how my first book came about. Now if you are having trouble getting out of bed due to depression from your grief and feel you cannot go on it may be time to talk to your preacher or a therapist.If you have children throw all your energy into your family. Plan a date for you and your spouse. Plan a getaway for the whole family for the weekend. Rent a hotel that has a pool if you can't afford to leave town completely. Just to let your hair down and do not tell anyone where you are going turn off the cell phones and let the voice mail catch it check your phone before going to bed.If you are having to deal with someone who is experiencing grief please be patient and kind, given time the person won't cry so much and they will eventually be the person they were, they may be sad for quiet sometime there is no time limit on this so please be understanding and lend an ear and listen only respond when they are done. This is the best thing is talking about the sadness it gives release and then the happy memories can come in and helps mend all the broken pieces. I have included this poem to give an idea of the pain and anguish you feel when you first find out a loved one is gone.I wrote this poem the day my mom passed away
The Call
Lord, today my world stood still
Somehow the news just didn't seem real
The call had come, you called mom home
Lord I feel comforted, I know she didn't travel alone
Lord you picked a beautiful rose, her name was Grace
She believed in you, and she had the faith
I don't worry about her, she is in good hands
Lord she was suffering, so you called her home I understand
I'm going to miss her, she was my mom and dad combined into one, I know she is fine
I know I will see her again in time
So Lord help me to find acceptance, and not to feel so sad
I know you will take care, of my mom-dad
Lord let me accept thy will
Tell mom I love her, and miss her still
I know she is feeling great
One day we'll join her I can't wait
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