Nothing new to report on the fiction side of my life, but I did want to take this opportunity to look back on last year, and hopefully find out how to kick start my muse into action again.

You see, I had been dealing with a horrible case of writer's block during the last six months, and I am tired of it. I want to write. Pure and simple, but every time I sat down to write, I couldn't deal with it. Or if I had written something during that time, it was crap. And the funny part of it is that when I tried to read my old stuff to hopefully get back into the swing, that stuff read horrible too!! I know that it was all due to my frame of mind, but I needed to write and I wasn't. Not a good scenario, let me tell you.

I think things started heading downhill in August, when I was enrolled in a creative writing workshop at my university, working on a novel for fanfiction, and pushing myself to finish a ficathon story that had a deadline. Between staying caught up with the class, writing the short story that was required, stressing out over the other deadline for the ficathon and feeling overwhelmed of the other WIPs I promised myself would be done by the end of the year, I think my muse just said, "To Hell with it," and got up and left.

And to top all that off, I was laid-off from my job in September, creating more stress on the personal side of my life. I had thought that with the extra time off, I would be able to write something, but it was too late. My muse can be really stubborn when she wants to be. :D

I got a new job last month, and I am just now starting to heal. I'm back to organizing things and planning out my next few months (keeping things simple for now), and I've even worked on a few writing projects. Not the ones I wanted to work on, but at least the muse and I are working on a truce, and I am happy with that.

Time will tell how this current drama plays out. In the meantime, I'll do my part and keep plugging away.

 

The first of the year is always a time to reflect upon what had happened during the previous year, and what to change and/or work on during the upcoming one. And I am always one to try to improve on my life, so here I am attempting to fulfill at least one resolution. I failed miserably at it last year, let's see if I can come out ahead this time around.

This is going to be the year of the Written Word for me. I am determined to get in a lot of writing, especially on my novels. My muse took a hike during the last half of last year, and I can't tell you how frustrating that has been. And no, I won't even discuss my dismal performance during NaNoWriMo. lol All I'm going to say on that score is, "At least I tried."

So this year, I am going to force myself into working on writing projects. I have several WIPs in one genre, two novels started during NaNo that I really would like to put more effort into, and ideas for a some short stories that will hopefully help me in learning how to write character descriptions. I can describe a character like nobody's business, but for the life of me, I cannot figure out how to put that stuff into a story so that it flows smoothly. This is the year that I conquer that problem.

Now, if I can only extend that effort into this blog... Now that I've signed up for a few WDC workshops and classes, maybe I can remember to visit this blog more often. We'll see what happens.

I have just been given an opportunity to really get the work done on the novel(s) I am writing. And with that opportunity, comes the chance to spend more time at WDC. I don't know how much time will be spent here, but I do want to catch up on all the contests, group activities and other great articles that I've missed out on over the past 12 months. It's time I did.

I know, I know. I've said this before. Maybe this time... just maybe I can finally do it. We will see...
 

My computer is on the fritz, something about a bad .dll file... Anyway, I had a system repair CD for my desktop, so I thought I would install it on my laptop to see if it will find the problem and fix it once and for all. In the meantime, I'm sitting here wishing I could crawl into my bed and sleep for a week!!

Anyway, my computer runs on Windows XP, and the problem is wreaking all kinds of havoc on the programs I run, the worst case being MS Word. Oh man, I thrive on that program!!! :D I have it up almost every single day, whether it be a story or a novel I am working on, or homework, or simply a project that I need to work on. This is horrible!!

The corrupted file also affects Internet Explorer, in that the program won't even open up. It's a good thing that I switched over to FireFox some time ago, or I would really be up the creek.

And even better news, all my files are still there ready for me to access them whenever I want, I just can't run Word to access them. I do have MS Works which still runs, so I will use that in the meantime. It's just that I'd rather not have to deal with all this stuff.

Of course, all my writing is backed up in several places, WDC being one of them. Still, my biggest worry is that I won't even have a computer! Horrors!!!! That would be the ultimate sacrifice!

 

I wasn't really on a hiatus. I was merely concentrating on my other writing projects, homework for the classes I'm taking toward a degree, and generally dealing with RL on a regular basis. That's not to say that I've been ignoring WDC. I came back here to update my portfolio with the various stories that I'm working on, and to update my WIP blog with snippets of yet another story when ideas hit. I just don't hang around long enough to get back into the swing of things, in terms of finding out what other goodies have popped up here while I was gone.

I think that I may have mentioned in an earlier entry that I really want to get back into WDC, but so far, I've not had as much time as I would like to browse through the many wonderful opportunities this place has to offer. And I was pleased beyond belief to find out that I was chosen for "RISING STARS--HISTORY & OVERVIEW"  for my story, "Invalid Item" . It was a great honor for me to receive that recognition and I'm grateful to Tammy~Catchin Up~ for the nomination. This just goes to show that the members of this community are generous and kind in their reviews and in handing out awards. Nothing has even come close to the honor that I'd received.

It's a good thing that I found this place. I plan to stay around for awhile, but I still need to find a lull in my life in order to spend more time here. I'm going to give it a try, I already have another story brewing in my head that I want to write. I'm anxious to find out what the reviewers here at WDC think of it.

 

It's been difficult trying to squeeze in everything I want to do in the few short hours I am faced with. I mean, 24 hours in a day just doesn't seem to be enough for me. My job takes up a good portion of those hours, and I am taking two classes at the university, both of which requires a ton of homework. Factor in the time that I spend sleeping... well, the rest of the time is divided between my family and my writing. So it's getting harder and harder for me to devote time to the sideline activities that I want to do.

Something has to give, and giving out feedback is low priority on my growing to-do list. I admit that I hate giving up on that, because #1, my friends like to receive feedback and expect it of me, and #2, I like to receive feedback, and I can't expect it if I don't give it. But unfortunately, I have to give up something and this is the best option for me right now.

On the plus side, I have found that I am writing a lot now. My homework alone makes up for some great exercises in writing. And I did write a short story the other day, "Invalid Item"  which turned out halfway decent. Then there are the blogs that I am keeping up on a daily basis, as well as the other novels and stories that I update whenever I can. All in all, a lot of writing.

This is good, 'cause I like writing.

Maybe if I quit my job... No worries. I won't do that. I like getting a paycheck too!!
 

I am almost finished with my fourth novel and I have mixed feelings on this. On the one hand, I am going to miss this story. It has caused me quite a bit of grief, and lots of smiles and laughs as I wrote it (sometimes I think that my sense of humor is only appreciated by me). It's in the fanfiction genre, and is a controversial story that has crossed some lines that probably shouldn't have been crossed and is what caused me so much grief. But I kept on writing it, and now I have one more obstacle to face. Challenges makes writing so much fun!!

On the other hand, I will be glad when it's done so that I can move on to other projects, especially my new mystery novel. Don't get me wrong, I have been working on other stories and novels all along, but the novel I am almost finished with was my first priority, mainly because it was so much fun to write (not to mention that everyone kept bugging me to update).

Which brings me to what I think I wanted to say in this entry all along. I've mentioned this twice already, but I don't think it will hurt to say it again. What really counts when it comes to writing anything, is that it should be fun to write. And it is for me. Especially since I usually don't know what's going to happen next until I write it. Yes, I am one of those who have never used an outline (don't hate me). Writing is fun, relaxing and makes me happy. That's all that counts.

 

I admit it, I've been ignoring this blog for quite awhile. I have two others that I've been keeping up on a regular basis, one in particular on a daily basis, so blogging is still a part of my life. I love to blog.

But I've ignored this one mainly because I am still going back and forth on whether or not I want to forgive the people who run this site. lol Yep, I'm still mad at them. And do you know what? They went and made me mad again. I mean really, how hard is it to send me something with my name on it instead of someone else's?

And they do have my name. It's right there in black letters in my profile. Always has been from the day I signed up. They got my WDC name right, and my address for that matter, but for some reason they must not like my given name. Grrrrr

But they did accomplish what they set out to accomplish by sending me that card. I am here and updating this blog. I am taking steps to get back into the loop here at WDC, albeit tiny steps. I really do miss the people here. But don't count on me hanging out here on a daily basis. I'm still being difficult in terms of getting over the hurt and the invasion of my privacy. I can be such a dingy sometimes.

And to be honest, I hadn't really left. I've been uploading chapters of my stories all along, especially my WIP blog. I've just been marking them private because they are showcased in my main blog at another location. So all is not lost WDC. I am still here.

 

I know, two posts in one day, but right after I wrote the first post, I left the house and picked up my mail. There was a card from Writing,com that upset me so badly I was seriously considering cancelling my account!! I went from extoling the virtues of this community to wanting to leave it in the space of 20 minutes. I'll bet that was a world's record!! LOL

I have calmed down since then, realizing that I am probably over-reacting. But I am now leery about things and may make some changes to my account in the very near future. If you come for a visit and I am somebody else, don't be surprised, okay?

 

I've been away so long from my home away from home that I'm not sure if I am even welcomed here anymore. It's been almost a month since I've lasted posted in my blog, and even longer since I've actually added anything into my portfolio.

I really do miss this place, especially the people. I feel like I have come to know many people through the blog hopping I used to do (and plan to get back into really soon), and I've often thought about you all as I went through my routines of daily living. How are you guys doing? Are you staying well and healthy? Have you begun the healing process from your losses? Are you all happy?

God, I really do need to find a way to spend more time here.

I have been checking in as often as i can, but only to keep my account alive. But now I need to get my WDC life back, and I have to come up with a plan to do just that. And I will. I have to.

I hope you all haven't given up on me yet. I'm here. Really I am.

 

I don't think I've ever had so much going on as I've had over the past couple of weeks. Most of it was due to family staying with us, which meant catering to said family during the hours when I was not at work. I was not able to get around to training the newcomers (as in extended family) in how to leave me alone for the majority of the time, so I was constantly expected to do something to keep them busy.

Needless to say, I've made a bad impression on my extended family.

There were a few days when they were mad at me (I can't imagine why) so I was able to get in some quality time with my writing, but I am way behind in reviewing, judging and bloghopping, so I hope to spend time tomorrow doing just that. I missed this place something fierce while I was gone, even if I did pop in every once in awhile.

As far as my writing goes, I did get a chance to work a little on my newest novel. I'm excited to get into it, and with a little perseverance and lots of work, I hope to have the first chapter finished by the middle of September. That's my goal, anyway. Then again, I've been known to whip out a chapter in one day's sitting, so I may get it done a lot sooner. It all depends on which way the wind blows, and if I can avoid the more demanding members of my extended family for long periods of time. They're gone now, with the promise to return this weekend. Oh joy.

In the same vein, school starts in a couple of weeks. I am only taking one class, and it's an online one at that, so I'm hoping it won't be too much of a problem. We'll see, I guess.

 

Writing has become an outlet for me, a chance to let my imagination run wild. But sometimes I wonder if it's worth it.

I have written several stories for the fanfiction audience, and I really enjoy doing so. The stories I've written have been, for the most part, received very well and I usually get decent reviews. Up until the one I am currently writing, that is.

The current story is a complex one that is supposed to be all about the relationships between three different characters. Period. Nothing really bad about that. But when I write a novel-length story, I tend to weave in minor back plots (or threads, as I call them), which gives the story more depth, almost a three dimensional feeling. A reader latched on to one of the "threads" in this particular story and has decided that I am sending out the wrong message to younger readers - telling them indirectly that it's okay to be evil and that I am condoning the treatment of prisoners in concentration camps.

I'm at a complete loss as to what goes on in people's minds. I mean, here I am writing a story about a love triangle and she brings up concentration camps!

Is this normal? Basically she wants me to finish the story her way, which of course is not going to happen, but should I expect this kind of behavior in other stories or novels that I write? One of the novels I want to write is about a church elder who is involved in a murder mystery. Should I expect someone to come along and tell me that I am advocating Devil worship because the church elder is not reacting the way that person thinks he should react?

I suppose it could happen. I'll just deal with it when that time comes and move on. Of course my novels will be published in their entirety, so it would be too late to make changes to make a reader happy. Besides, I can see it now. Thirty years down the road, scholars and students will be analyzing my novel and debating over the issue of whether or not the church elder was thinking devious thoughts when he picked up that apple...

I'm gonna be famous!!
 

I am here for - all about two minutes. I am slowly, but surely catching up, although I'm not quite where I want to be in terms of this website and my novel. I am way behind on group activities and reading blogs, but with a little perseverance, and lots of patience, I will eventually get caught up.

I hope.

Anyway, I was reading my email and was pleased to find out that there is one more reason to love this wonderful site. The people here are great!! ♥ The Maveric ♥ had read my blog and saw my dilemma on the fact that I have absolutely no idea what I am talking about when it comes to working in stables, and she came to my rescue like a knight in shining armor. My main character works in one and I suppose it would be a good idea to have the character know what he is doing. lol ♥ The Maveric ♥ offered to share her knowledge and boy, did she ever. The information that she provided is absolutely amazing!! She even took the time to explain some of the terminology to me, which is a challenge in itself, and I hope I do the whole scene justice.

Now I can't wait to get back to work on my novel again. Hopefully, I will have time to work on it this weekend. I tell ya, I live for the weekends!!

 

I recently took a vacation to get away from it all, but somehow I didn't enjoy it as much as I would like to. I didn't have much time to sit down and write, and this bothered me a lot. I took that vacation just so that I could spend time writing on the various projects I have waiting for me. But life got in the way, which it does do occasionally, and I ended up so far behind, that I think I need another vacation just to get things done!!

And I have come to find out that WDC is becoming a job all by itself. I have involved myself in several groups and activities that require me to actually write something, whether it be reviews, assignments or my own novels, so I have plenty to do. My family will never see me now!

Oh well, I suppose if I just plug away at everything, I will eventually see the light of day. Sometime soon, anyway.

As for my goals, I have heard that it is a good idea to set up deadlines to meet when writing a novel for publication, so I'm going to give this some thought, as I try to work through my priorities. If you have any thoughts on this subject or links I could click on, please leave me a comment or send me an email. I would appreciate it a thousand times over.

 

I've gotten some work done on one of my novels!! I am here to tell you that this is an accomplishment in itself. My muse and I have been slacking big time lately on the stories I have started, including my novels, and I was on the brink of despair, wondering if I would ever get anything done. Sure, writing in my journal is considered "writing", but the journal entries are not what I consider consructive writing. The entries reflect my accomplishments, or lack thereof, which is not the same as actually being an accomplishment. So I am pretty excited about the chapter I worked on today.

I got so involved in writing the chapter that I forgot about judging my contest!! Not a cool thing to do at all. So now I am off to read the stories and judge them accordingly. I'll be away from the internet for a couple days, and it wouldn't do to make people wait.

The bad part of this is that I'll be getting to bed around 2:00 or 3:00 a.m., then have to get up early to drive all day tomorrow. Why do I do this to myself?


 

I've decided that I shouldn't just go with what I've got as far as the first scene of my book goes. It's going to come back and haunt me, I just know it. I need to flesh it out some, but more importantly, I need to make sure it's realistic.

The main character of the book works in a stable, and just becauses I've been in a lot of stables, doesn't mean I know what goes on in one. So I think it would make things more believable if I would just do some research on this subject. So I am off to surf the 'net to get a preliminary idea of what I need to know.

The internet is a great tool for research on any subject known to mankind and I use it for everything - recipes, travel, writing and even inspiration. I use it to look up definitions of words, as well as to find an alternative to the words I end up using a lot. The internet is a great resource and I am lost without it!

This got me to thinking about the other tools I use when I write. I came up with a lot, some that I even took for granted. My computer is at the top of the list, and I would definitely be lost without it. I tried writing with pen and paper, but it slowed me down and seemed to restrict the flow of my writing. So my computer is the most important tool.

And we just can't forget about a word processing program. I mean really, where would I be without one? Back to pen and paper. (shudders) It ain't happening, I tell ya!!

Then there are the books of the trade. A dictionary, thesaurus and a multitude of how-to books (of which I don't own). I did finally get a thesaurus, but I never use it. MS Word has a built-in one that is more convenient to me. And I am learning to love WDC's Ideanary. I still keep the thesaurus handy, just in case I decide to use a more comprehensive resource. And a dictionary is next on my list to buy. I am not always online when I write.

Inspiration is also another tool that works for me. Nothing would get done if I didn't have something to write about. So I definitely use inspiration to keep me going down the right path.

Inspiration comes from all over the place, so I need a journal to keep the ideas in. I have come to find that a journal is a fantastic tool in keeping things straight. I have recently started another journal to keep the story ideas and other strands of ideas in one place. I have way too many projects that I am working on now, so keeping the ideas alive in a journal makes great sense to me.

These are the tools I use as I work my way through my stories, novels and other writing projects. I know there has to be another long list of tools when it comes time to try to get my novel published. I'm sure I will be starting a new list of tools in this journal when I get to that point.

I can't wait!!!

 

With a new focus, I've decided to give this journal a new name - something catchy, yet still reflects the essence of me. 'My Secret Life' fits me perfectly because I have several secret lives. Nothing sinister or quirky going on, I am just someone who keeps everything to myself. So much so that nobody really knows the real me. And this includes my family.

Take my pen names for instance, I have one pen name for fanfiction, one for original fiction and one for journaling about depression. Three different sides of me, and I am still not done. I also have my real name that I go by when I am dealing with family, friends and coworkers to mix in with the other sides of my life. Four different names that reflect one personality, and they rarely mix, except for behind the scenes and within my mind. This works for me, and I try not to dwell on the mystery of why I prefer to live like this. I've always been a private person.

My family does not know about the other lives I live. Well, that's not true. I've told both my daughter and my sister about the fanfiction, but I think there is a reason why I told the two people who really don't read much, or who just think this is a passing fancy. And I am comfortable with this. I would rather not have told them in the first place. So I live out my life writing away on my computer, glaring at people when they look over my shoulder, and dealing with the separate events that come about through the separate identities.

Maybe one day I will tell other members of my family of my secret lives. It would be nice to show them what I do when I am on my computer for hours at a time. But I don't know. Maybe they will find out when I GO Pro, and bring home my published novel. Then again, maybe not, especially since I am already thinking about a pen name to go with that published novel. It seems that I am destined to live out these secret lives. And the best part is that I am happy with it. No one needs to really know the real me. Not really.

 

Yes, I have started my fifth novel. It will take some time to actually get into this story, as it's an old one for me. I've gone over it so many times, and in fact, forgot about it for awhile, but the story really "grabs me" and I want to write it all down.

I have been putting it off for awhile because I wanted to actually create an outline for this one. I have never done an outline for a story before, and have done extremely well without one. I prefer to just write and find out what happens when I get to it. But I am told that writing an outline is the best way to go when trying to get published, so I diligently went out and researched how to write an outline (this is how I found WDC, by the way).

I have to tell you that I got discouraged by what I found. It seems that everyone has their own way of writing their outline, and I couldn't find two people who did it the same way. So I thought I should just go with the one that seems to be the easiest way, but still got discouraged. I am now at the point of just writing this novel the way I have always written them, start writing it and don't look back.

Now that I am with the two groups who will tell me if I am going in the wrong direction, I should be okay in writing it this way. Besides, my other novels turned out all right without an outline. This one should too.


 

Yep, it's still out there. But I stood firm. I put my foot down and told it point blank that I am not going to give into it anymore.

Procrastination is not a pretty site when it's laughing at me!!

I did get in some quality writing this week, though. I finished a chapter of one of my stories and sent it off to be proofread. I also wrote a few paragraphs to another story that I'm writing for a WDC project, and I actually considered working on some prompts for the "Invalid Item" . So I did get some things done.

Take that, procrastination!

Oh, who am I kidding? I still have problems with getting into my projects. And I don't understand it. I live for the moments when I can sit down and write, but when the time comes, I can't get into it. Something's not right here.

On the other side of procrastination, is the demon called, distraction. I am absolutely convinced that these two work hand in hand in their efforts to keep me from writing. Procrastination keeps me from wanting to write, while Distraction makes sure I can't stay on it for too long when I do get to writing.

Procrastination makes me crazy, but distraction causes me extreme resentment. I mean, I am finally into it, actually writing on a story or an assignment, or whatever, and distraction comes along and interrupts the flow. Grrrr I hate distraction.

Distraction comes in all varieties, from the kids wanting something every five minutes, to phone calls and visits from family. Even my job is a distraction. Anything that comes along while I am in a story is a distraction, and I wish I could find a way to avoid them. I can't just tell the kids to take a hike... Well, I could, but that wouldn't be nice.

I'll keep trying different techniques to conquer those two demons. Maybe I'll find the right combination someday. Until then, I will keep on plugging away every chance I get. I mean after, all I did get to update this journal with only a minimal amount of distraction. The littest rugrat was more than happy with my suggestion that she go outside to play.

 

It's been awhile since I visited this journal. I'm not sure why, although it could be that I'm not sure what to write. I wrote about procrastination in the last entry, maybe I should expand on that.

I've tried to find ways to combat this evil thing, a demon who lurks in the depths of my mind. I've tried reminders, notes, to-do lists, and even scolding myself to not give into it, but nothing seems to work. I write whenever I get to it.

Take this weekend, for instance. I had a full 4 days off from work. Plenty of time to get some writing in right? Well, as it turns out, not exactly.

Saturday was filled with reading and answering emails, uploading the bulk of my fic into my account here, working on a project that will hopefully turn into a WDC group and took care of some errands. A full day, but I figured I still had three more days in which to write.

It wasn't looking so good on Sunday. I had to go birthday shopping for the little guy in my life, then spent time at his impromptu party. Since the little guy was excited about his 8th birthday, every one got up at the crack of dawn, yawning and stretching and yelling at the kid to shut up and let us sleep. Because I couldn't go back to sleep in the morning, I took advantage of a nap during the afternoon. Then had to get up to go out to dinner for the birthday boy.

Needless to say, Sunday was shot.

Monday came along. Oh yeah! I still had two more days to get some writing done. Do you know? I think the kids are in cohoots with my demon, Procrastination. Maybe Procrastination pays them with cookies or something to create diversions and distractions. Anyway, I finally got rid of them in the afternoon, but by then my nerves were shot. I decided to go for a ride. I always get stories ironed out when I am driving, and usually come home and write like a mad woman.

I got inspired during the ride and practically finished two of the stories I am working on. Unfortunately, all this was done in my head, not on the computer, so I am still nowhere near having gotten anything done, and I got home too tired to actually stay up to write.

(sigh) I am now faced with only one day to get anything done. I woke up this morning, bound and determined to finish at least one chapter of one of the stories I'm working on. ... ... Well, I did finish the setting description for the "Invalid Item" . That involved some writing. I just didn't get a chance to work on anything else.

There is still some time left. Maybe I can at least get in a few paragraphs. Tthe funny thing is, I've been dying to write a scene in one of the stories for months now. I've finally gotten to the scene, and still trying to find time to do it.

Procrastination, get thee behind me! I've got work to do.