I'm rereading this blog entry and find I hit more than a few nails directly over the head. It feels a bit harsh in hindsight, since my suspicious nature has since been allayed, or watered down over time by not flying in the face of conformity, but rather hiding in the shadows and idling away the days.

I don't have anything to really opine about. My blood doesn't boil. I put my faith in God and hope the rest works itself out.

Love to all and a Happy New Year,

Brian

I had to go back and reread this old blog entry and shudder at how I 'bare my chest' as my high school English teacher once described my journaling.

Thank you for the hug and support and know that my life is in a much better place now, even though I haven't found the direction I desire. Getting off anti-depressants and getting back to exercise was key. My love of basketball has been giving back to me in a way only God could have made possible. I'm reminded every day what a blessing the game he has given me has been.

Now, if I could just figure out how to share myself with my family to get a fuller appreciation of life and to stop worrying about my big break as a writer. That's the thing.

Thanks again,

Brian

BK, what a blog! A moment of clarity, the flame of a loved one's touch, the illuminating word of god. What a combinatin to set the soul on fire, to ignite a passion for what is truely beautiful in this life of ours. We are all hobbled by our flaws. For some it is the canker of discontentment, for others it's the sapping pain of disease or loss. For the rest of us, we need to realise that while we live with our loved ones around us, in a society that values us for what we are, not for what we believe we can be, we are already rich beyond compare. Open my eyes, open my ears - let me see what is right there before me.
Ann

I love this entry. It's so passionate, and it inspires me as well. I can really relate to this. Let's see if I can start to "seize the day" too. Thank you for this!

Thanks Mark,

This has been a long standing issue for me. I've tried to communicate my concerns directly to SM long ago and he essentially told me to take a walk if I didn't like it. I kept my mouth shut for sometime afterward, but I feel shadowed by the word watchers. I have accepted the need for these rules, but am not pleased with the results of the interpretation of said rules. I am not happy with the way they carry out their business.

Essentially, I sent that poem to Tigger thinks of Prancer because she gifted me a sponsorship in one of her activities to display a work. Without saying a word, the item I sent to her was rerated with the resulting automated message about the intro rate change. It was punitive, impersonal and unnecessary --something we could have straightened out through emails since we were already in constant contact.

For a site that tries to spread community spirit, I've gotten plenty of systematic snubs like this. I have developed the impression, since SM showed me the door, that I will not be embraced as a member of this site. I have found direct confrontation is fruitless. Speaking in my blog gets me lots of hits, but no closer to understanding the WHY of it all. I've tried to go about my business and be an active member of this site. I was a top reviewer, participated in contests as an entrant or judge, I've donated or participated with charities, and went so far as to leave calling cards around the internet to get others to come join here. My ability to write speaks for itself. My efforts have translated into a giant waste, because I got sidetracked and lost sight of my true aims. I once thought some recognition here could help me further my goals.

It just doesn't feel like this site is really interested in supporting writers on the whole. I think they follow certain demographics, personality types or the like to find a certain element that can maintain this cozy atmosphere where complacency reigns. I've let my mind wander and wonder if they systematically shut the door in faces of good writers to get in the pockets of wannabes. And that's a whole other can of worms, I know. But it could go as far as pairing people up with the self-publishing industry. I feel a member here put me on that road once, before I got my wake up call.

Things like this on the face cannot be espoused, lest I offend the masses who enjoy their stay here because their black case got a touch of yellow, or their works have been freshly displayed with awardicons, or they could boast some merit badges to boost their community recognition totals. I have to side-step all this stuff that once almost sucked me in.

It's a shame really that these double-standards should exist. I think they come down harder on me. And the more it continues, the more entrenched I become. The more entrenched I become, the more they seem to think I deserve what I'm given. Bottom line, no one has come to me and recognized a misunderstanding or make it right. Some like yourself will see one blog entry and think the guy needs to suck it up. You haven't experienced all that I've gone through. There's plenty more blog entries for those who care to get a better understanding before weighing judgment.

I'm not anti-Writing.Com. But if I point something out, the sentiment of negativity seems to be aroused...like an old propaganda standby to silence the critics. If people don't complain, how does stuff get fixed? I feel it has become personal because it has gone on for so long with no resolution. You can't just take something like a phrase 'kill time' and penalize someone for a figurative reference.

This is about writing, about expression. Why the need to handcuff so tightly, when it can be proven words and phrases don't have the intent that censors seem to suggest? It's deliberate ignorance and that makes me think there is a reason for guarding language this closesly. I think if members don't feel these constraints, figuratively hog-tied, if this type of guarded atmosphere is not established; it will be a lot harder to control words they cannot rebut.

I got stonewalled by SM and have tried to tactfully point out the deficiencies of the system. Matters of complacency that offend me deserve my ire. I've paid for the privilege to be a member here. I'm a customer. The fact that membership does not carry with it any leverage to be heard makes me feel they need to keep an upperhand for a reason. A wall needs to be there to discourage an unwanted element. I want to see writers with dreams get a chance, not get played, not get trapped. I wish this could be an environment that protects future authors before they are discouraged and lead astray.

Thanks for reading and responding to my blog.


Brian

I actually reacted in much the same way you had: I was surprised that this event and the wording was not admonished. That being said, I feel your pain when it comes to censorship. Everyone does, obviously. What I don't share is a sense of persecution.

Mods and staff make adjustments as they see fit, it is a judgement call. To boot, when something that normally wouldn't attract the attention of a Mod is brought directly TO a mod, letter of the law has got to be applied (a bit more stringently?)

I'm not poo-pooing your statement, or feelings, but I am saying it can happen in this system, without it being intentional towards you or your words. I think you have taken somethign personally that isn't personal to anyone else involved.

I am sorry you had what seems to be a senseless censorship, especially in light of the process (and specifically how hard it is to get undone).

I am sure though, knowing hundreds of such instances, that there is no malice or intent related personally or directly at YOU. I know that is a weak salve - I hope from a non-mod 3 year member you can find solice in that thought.

Good luck Brian, I have enjoyed what you bring to WDC, I hope you never stop being yourself or an outspoken member!

Sincerely
Mark

I think most of us who are serious in their writing go through the same thing. I know I have gone back and read stuff I wrote years ago and I am amazed that I was the person who wrote that piece.

There are times though, especally when I go back and read entries from my first blog, that I wish I could recapture some of the old fire that pushed me to start a blog in the first place.

As for my fiction writing, well I think I have grown over the years and hopefully gotten better....I'll let you know the first time I actually get a check for some of it!

Well written blog entry and I enjoyed the read....thank you.

I want to upgrade to a newer body. I'll keep my brain though... we've been through too much together.

I just found a journal I wrote about 13 years ago, loooong before blogging - I couldn't believe I wrote that stuff. It was pretty profound actually - but somewhere along the way I lost a lot of it...but it's all coming back to me.

happy journey!