Content Rating Notice:  May Contain Extreme Graphic Content
Only For: 18 and Older, Not Offended

It is a difficult thing, to keep a private journal private. I often wonder if my dear husband (DH) will read my paper journals. I find that I do not always write EVERYTHING I feel because I wonder if he might read them. However, I do not have very good handwriting. Secondly, I often write about my own self-hatred and to find anything "juicy," he'd really have to read every page.

Thirdly, he also keeps a journal, a log of his fishing tournaments. I could care less what he writes about. I think that if you are seriously worried about your spouse finding and reading your journal, then you should keep it locked up. Whether paper or electronic, if someone really wants to read it, they will. If someone should read my journals eventually (like when I'm dead), then I've written a few times about how whatever I'm feeling is how I feel in that particular entry and has no bearing on the current present.

My DH knows I keep a journal. I have never hid it from him. It's an important part of my life. I take it with me everywhere. My paper journal is private. I have read things out of it to him, but I would not want him reading any current volume. Past volumes, like from five or ten years ago, who cares. But the past couple of years, not yet.

He did read an entry in my journal once. I had the start of a story in it, about a woman and a man, and he read that entry, and accused me of it being true. I was infuriated! We had a long talk of trust, because that's what it really boils down to. As far as I know, he's never read another of my journals. And I don't read his. I think that once he read it that one time, he realized how BORING I am, so he was never bothered to read it again.

It's tempting to read other people's journals. For example, I was at my mom's house once, and I saw a journal next to a chair in the living room. I thought, "Oh great! Mom's keeping a journal!" Then my very next thought was, "I wonder what she writes about." She wasn't in the room and I almost picked it up and read through it, BUT I stopped myself. Did I really want to read what she had written? What if it was about me? What if it was about my sisters? I did not want to have those writings stuck in my mind. I have enough crap stuck in my mind. So I didn't read it. I left it alone. I don't need to feel even worse about myself than I already do.

When I write in my blog online, I do not write stuff that is better kept private. A lot of people let their dirty laundry hang out, but I think that some things should stay private. For instance, I would never write about my job, except in the most general terms. I wouldn't write about problems DH and I are/were having.