I actually wrote something!! For the first time in many long months, I actually wrote something. And it was poetry, at that! You know I don't write poetry! (e:pthb} Anyway, just thought I'd let y'all know...I'm so happy to get my mojo back (even if only for a night! LOL!)

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So.... Yeah. It's complicated. Anyway, I shall try to explain....

A friend of mine (CJ) asked me a little while back if I'd consider getting a room-mate. I said I'd consider it, but I would need to get to know the person first. So CJ and I met up with this guy one evening after work. His name is Gordon. We hung out until nearly 4 the next morning, and the night after that we did much the same. We continued hanging out, meeting his friends (without CJ, by this time), and getting to know each other. Going into this, I was told that Gordon was in a relationship, so I had no expectations. After a few days I agreed to let him move in. The next night Gordon let out (by accident) that he had a crush on me (we were both a bit tipsy). The night after that, we hung out at the beach (which is beautiful at night, btw! ), when he told me that he had broken up with his boyfriend some time before due to him using and dealing meth. Later that night, he asked me to be his boyfriend.

Cut to a week and a half later. I'm in love. It cannot be explained away, it merely is. I would never have expected it. He's not my type, I'm not his type, but it works. There was only one kink, and it nearly destroyed things before they started. A few days ago, Gordon learned that his ex, whom he still loved to a degree (they'd been together a while), had NOT been doing meth, that was merely a lie from a friend of Gordon's designed to break them up. He was torn. He considered himself married in all ways but legally, and he had to think long and hard about who he wanted to be with. He decided to spend the night at a friend's house so he could clear his head.

I, due to having been betrayed before, was sure that he would leave me. I was...breaking, for lack of a better term. Then I got a call asking if I would accept him back. He'd realized that, as much as he loved his ex, his ex still didn't really see him as an adult, and he believes that he wants to spend his life with me.

So, with only a bit of drama, I have a boyfriend. Perhaps it came about a bit ass-backwards, but oh well. If you know me, you'd know that I rarely do thing in a 'normal' manner! At least we decided he would move in first, rather than, "Oh, yes I'll be your boyfriend, and why don't you move in, too?!" We're still trying to do the whole 'dating' thing, though, for which I'm glad. We're taking it slow, even though we sleep in the same bed...And yes, I do mean sleep!

Oddly enough, he really seems like the guy that I could introduce to the parents...and that will come in time, I'm sure...March, at the very least, and the fam will be in town for my niece's birthday party! And assuming that we're still together (and my gut is saying that we will be), he shall be introduced to Happy Mumsy Day! and her family in December!

*sigh* It's been a long time coming!
 

One of those plastic shit shaped things... :P

You see, my grandparents happened to go to another doc for something else besides his kidneys, and that doc said, (and of course I'm paraphrasing, here) "What the fuck was that guy smoking?! You ain't got no kidney failure! Your kidneys are fine! The reason you have no energy is your congestive heart failure, bro, and we've done everything we can about that, so suck it up and live!"

Ok, so he might not have said all that. But that's pretty much what happened. Soooooooooo...after getting all worked up over this, after being told that my grandfather might not live past spring, we learn that he's fine. Damn doctors! But, at least we know he's ok....
 

Why the fuck does it seem like I only write in here when something bad happens? I mean, I know that's not the case (see previous entry), but I suppose I'm in that mood right now. Someone smack me, please.

Anyway, I learned today that my remaining grandfather's kidneys are destroyed, from drinking heavily, and, most importantly, from taking Lasix for his congestive heart condition. Lasix is a diuretic that helps flush out fluid. Unfortunately, Lasix also tends to decimate kidneys and kidney function.

*EDIT: Upon reading the previous sentence, I have deemed it melodramatic. I don't give a shit about it, and am going to leave it up there.*

2 years ago, about 3 months before he went on Lasix, his kidney function was about 80%, which was fairly normal for someone in his condition and age. Fast forward 20 months, and his kidney function is at about 10% 10% is not enough to survive on. 10% means one thing: it's all downhill from here, and not in the good sense.

On the flip side: My sister is pregnant again! I'm gonna be an uncle for the third time! Her due date is April 4th, my brother Derek's birthday. But now, she's worried about telling Grandaddy, worried that learning of another great-grandchild would depress him, considering that he might not live to see him or her.

I suppose, if one were to look for a silver lining in all this, it's that, after the heart bypass, heart cath, and Lasix, he got another 2 years of spending time with his great-grandchildren. And I got another 2 years of having a grandfather. I keep telling myself that I should just be grateful that I've known my grandparents at all, or that I've known them this long. I don't know. That doesn't really seem to be working right now. Maybe later.

3 days in, and my week sucks.
 

So I got my hair cut short...had long hair for a very long time, and it was just time for a change. In a way, it's indicative of my life...I'm stepping up and taking more responsibility at work, and I needed a more mature, adult, porfessional haircut. So, here you go!

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Whatcha think?!
 

Actually, no...I've just been watching too much of The Price Is Right at Sunshine...but I can haz a BRAND NEW JOB! That's right! So, here's how it happened. I went to resign my lease for my apartment...and I was talking with the lady in the office ('cause, you know, I'm sociable that way), and she knew that I worked at a couple of restuarants. She asked if I had any experience as a manager, and I told her that I didn't have any formal experience, but I'd had one hell of a two-week crash course at Scoop when my manager left. She told me that her husband and son own the Smokin' Pig BBQ joint here in Richmond Hill, and where looking for someone to come in that they could train as assistant manager. I just so happened to have a resume already printed out at home, and so I went and got it and gave it to her. A few days later I got a call from the son, asking me to come in for an interview. Needless to say, I got the job! I'm currently making the same as at Scoop, but once I get the hang of things (one month or so) I'll get a raise, and then I'll be bumped up to salary once I officially become the assistant manager (2-3 months).

So far, things have been great at the Smokin' Pig, I like my co-workers, and things seem to be going nicely.

I saw both Wolverine and Star Trek this week, and loved them both, equally, for totally different reasons. It was good to see a Star Trek movie that didn't suck! And I think it was about time for the re-make to happen...it seemed well cast, all in all. Wolverine was...well, it had Hugh Jackman in it.
 

Well, it probably won't be 2 1/2 minutes, but oh well.

So, I have decided to stay where I am, for the foreseeable future. Not to say that I'll be here forever, not at all. Just that, with the economy as it is, It's too risky to drop everything and go somewhere else and start all over again. I'm not completely satisfied with my job and Scoop, (I'll explain that in a bit) but it's not too bad at the moment. Basically, I shall simply work my way up through the ranks. It will take longer, but in a way, it will be a far truer education than culinary school.

As for why Scoop isn't as enjoyable as it was, well, that's a tale for you! About a month and a half ago, my Kitchen Manager, G, up and left. Just like that! *snaps fingers* No warning, just couldnt' take dealing with A (the owner) any more. We, to put it simply, were fucked. I had done inventory. That was all the managerial duty that Ihad done. But, I had been there longer than anyone, I was G's #2, and so I took over. Well, C was G's #3, and C helped a lot as well. He ran the morning shift, I ran the evening shift, but he didn't do as much to keep the kitchen running.

So, for 2 weeks, I was the defacto, unofficial manager (or co-manager) of the kitchen. That was a rather untenable position, because I was sorta in charge, but I really wasn't. I quickly learned why G didn't like work for A, because A can be an Asshole. He's a nice guy, until you have to work for him. He runs his kitchen staff like he runs the crews of hispanics that build houses for him (he's in construction). That doesn't sound nice, but it's true. A lot of General Contractors treat their crews poorly, but you can't treat a kitchen staff like that. Kitchen staffs are extremely attuned to morale. One wrong thing makes the whole day go off, and A eternally focusses on the negative aspects.

Example: I think it was the 4th day after G left that I made a soup. We always have a soup special, usually weekly. I made chicken noodle soup, something I knew I was good at and that would turn out good. It came out perfect. I used celery and carrots and onions and garlic, with white wine and chicken stock. I was wonderful. I had everyone else in the restaurant try it, to see what they thought, and purposefully asked questions like: Do you think it's too salty? Not enough salt? Too spicy? Not enough spice? Etc. They all said they wouldn't change a thing. Then A came along and tasted it. He walked into the kitchen, tried the soup, imediately said, "It's too salty", and walked out of the kitchen. I was fuming! I mean, really. My self-confidence was shaken, to say the least. At least everyoone else imediately came to my defence and told him it wasn't too salty.

But I never got a single sincere word of thank you from A. Not one. The only thing I got was that first night, when A was drunk, I mean wasted, when he was all, "I love you guysh sho much, you guysh are the besht!" That's worth less than nothing! I kept that restaurant afloat for two weeks! I placed the orders, I did inventory, I did the specials, I fired a guy, with no training! None! Without mee, Scoop would have closed doen for two weeks!

But, in the end, A called G and begged her to come back. So, now that she's back, things are back to normal. I am supposed to get a 50 cent per hour raise, but it hasn't shown up on my checks yet...I'll believe it when I see it. But, anyway, that's why I'm constantly looking for other, better jobs. I've applied to several so far, though I haven't heard anything back yet. But there's still time. Medie is coming down on the 4th and will leave on the 11th! I can't wait. She'll get to meet my whole immediate family! Anyway, that's all for now, I'll try to keep you updated more often!
 

Ok, so, a few days ago I got some bad news from my kitchen manager at What's the Scoop. She turned her two-week notice in on Monday. Now, I knew she was planning on leaving, but I was thinking that it would be June or July (that's what she had said), and that there would be enough time for her to train me to be her replacement, As it is, I'm simply not experienced enough to take over in two weeks, and there's no way I can be trained that fast. The bummer is that she told me that she had been planning on training me (the first definite confirmation of all my gut feelings). The ironic thing was that, that very morning I had been thinking about it, and had come to the conclusion that, when she left, if I didn't replace her, I would start looking very deeply at other alternatives. Unless my new kitchen manager can teach me an enormous amount, I'd rather not renew my lease at the end of April. S/He would have to have an extremely deep base of knowledge to make me stay another year.

Not to say that I don't enjoy living here, because I do! I've made friends, I have family here. But at this point, it's not about 'getting by', it's not about 'just living', it's about 'how much can I learn?' And I just don't think that the owner of What's the Scoop will be able to attract someone who has that kind of knowledge and experience.

So, here are my options, as I see them. I can:

Take out a student loan of $40,000-$50,00+, and go to culinary school somewhere.

Search out a talented chef somewhere, approach him/her, and say, "I will work and learn under you, for whatever you want to pay me"

Or

Get a job with a cruise line to be a cook on a cruise ship.

Now let's look at the pros and cons of each.

Option A: Culinary School Pros: It would give me a far wider base of knowledge. I would learn some of every type of world cuisine, learn advanced techniques, and be able to grow in a neutral environment where I could choose different areas to focus on. It would give me an instant boost of credility the moment I walked out of school, and a boost to my starting pay wherever I go after school.

Cons: Even if I didn't have to pay a single cent for school, I would still have to pay for housing and bill, which would mean having one to two jobs. Basically, it would be like me, right now, with the two jobs I've got, start going to school in addition to what I'm already doing. That would be almost impossible. Also, if there's one thing that chefs hate worse than bright-eyed newbies, it's people fresh out of culinary school who think they know everything. The boost in starting pay might, just possibly, be an extra 2-3 dollars per hour, but would that be enough to pay off a student loan month by month?

Option B: Apprenticeship Pros: I would be getting real-life, real-kitchen expereience, which is more valuable than classroom learning. I would be able to pick a chef whose style matches my own. I would be able to quit whenever I wanted to, I could be far more flexible. I would be able to swap between a couple different chefs, even pastry chefs. I would be able to work my way up, gaining experience and, more importantly, trust with my chef.

Cons:I would be working long hours for very little, which wouldn't go very far toward paying my bills. I would have to have other job , it would be like me taking on a third job here. I just don't know if I could do that. Also, without the culinary school diploma, advancement will come slower, and be based entirely on my skill and experience.

Option C: Cruise Ship Pros: I would be working under some of the most talented chefs in the world, who have to work under some of the harshest cooking conditions anywhere. Since I would be an employee of the cruise line, it's entirely possible that I would be able to switch between different chefs onboard. Cruise ship chefs have to be able to cook a wide variety of food, as a lot of customers will request specialty, non-menu items. Also, as a crewmember, room and board is almost always included, and there would be few other expenses, so I would be able to save most of what I make. Also, I wouldn't have to worry about my car breaking down and having to repair it or buy another one. The demand for restuarant services in port would be greatly diminished, so there would be time to spend in port. Everything for sale is duty-free for crewmembers, and most thing would be discounted 20-25% for crewmembers.

Cons: I would have to sing a contract of 4, 6, 8, or 12 months, depending on cruise line. If I had to break contract, then I would have to pay for all expenses to get me home. I would be working very long hours, perhaps as much as 70 hours a week. Internet services would cost a nominal fee. It would be harder to talk with family/friends, as phonecalls would, I believe, fall under international rates. I would almost certainly have to share a room with 1 or 2 other people, and quarters are more cramped than your average dorm room.


Well, there you go. Those are the pros can cons that I know and can think of. This was actually a really good excercise, because it got me to start thinking about this in more concrete terms. And that's a good thing, because unless something major happens, come April 30th, when my lease runs out, I'll have to have decided something. Right now, the likelihood of me staying here beyond the end of April is pretty small. Which is kinda sad, in a way, cause I've loved living here. But my time here is drawing to a close...just over three months more to go.
 

It's interesting, really, how one plans things that never come to fruition. I originally joined WDC three years ago yesterday for critique on a completed (or so I thought) novella. The 'final polishing', with feedback from some very dedicated, extremely helpful, supportive and friendly members of "The Novel Workshop" , turned into 'tear it down and rebuild it multiple times'. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to spend the time necessary to polish it, and also work on other stories, so that one is on a burner way, waaaaaaay in the back. I supppose that I was a rather naive 16 yr. old in some ways, and far too optimistic about the quality of that particular item. The story is sound, although Paolini beat me to it with the Eragon books (they're extremely similar. Funny how young teen-aged boys into fantasy think the same! ).

And now, the whole purpose of WDC has changed for me. I saw it changing, watched it happen. I don't write much anymore. I've never written well when tired, mentally or physically, and the times when I'm not tired now are few and far between. Is that a bad thing? Perhaps not. I still love writing, and so, the times when I can sit down and let the words flow are all the more precious to me. I no longer have delusions of grandeur about becoming the next J. K. Rowling. In fact, I don't really ever plan to pursue being published. If it happens that I get to that point, awesome, but the idea of dying unpublished doesn't devastate me like it once did.

Perhaps I've grown up enough to realize that I can't have everything. I can't be a chef and a famous, award-winning fiction author. The energy and time needed to do both would be immense, and cooking takes up all my passion. In a way, it saddens me, but not because I'm losing out on something. It's beacuse letting go of that dream represents letting go of my childhood, my past. It's something I have to do, so that I may reach out and grasp my new, more adult dream of going to culinary school and becoming a chef. Not to say that everyone who dreams of becoming an author is childish, of course not! But for me, it was. For me, that was the dream I'd had since I first began to read, the way other kids dreamed of being an astronaut. Sometimes that dream works out, and sometimes we get distracted from it by pretty shiny things, and other times we mature beyond it. My Dad's father, who was always supportive of my dreams, once told me this in a letter: "Dreams are like the stars. And we should always reach toward them, no matter how small and far away they are. But remember this: You are standing on the ground, and the first step to the stars is to leave the atmosphere. But once you get beyond the atmosphere, an entire galaxy of stars open up before you, and then you must choose which star appears the brightest, and the best." Yeah, he was a tad bit long-winded at times...

I have gotten beyond the atmosphere now. And I have chosen. Of course, I won't ever lose my love of the written word! It's just that, now it is more of a personal thing, and I have no desire to see my name in big bold letters on the spine of a book...unless, of course, that book is a cookbook!
 

I know, I know, I should have updated this thing a long time ago! But...well, I haven't had much time...

Ok. Many of you alreayd know all of this, but...for those that don't, this is for you. Details details details...I no longer work at Kroger. Kroger turned into a sucky job. There was too much politicking. And I hate politicks outside of politicks. They kept cutting back my hours, and essentially drove me off. See, Kroger is a union company, and union benefits kick in after 6 months. Well, they have their core groups of long-time employees, and then they're constantly hiring and firing new employees before they get benefits. A tad bit underhanded from the employees viewpoint, but it's good business sense. I don't really care, 'cause I have a better job now.

I still work at Sunshine Breakfast, Fri-Sun in the mornings. I've just recently started working there on Tuesday as well. And then I'm now working at this place called What's The Scoop, which is a cross between a full restuarant, a coffeeshop, and an ice-cream parlor...pretty cool place. I work there Monday, Wednesday, and Thursday. Yep, count them thar days, that's 7 of 'em. 7 days a week...took some getting used to, but being able to pay all my bills, being completely and totally independant is something I'm not willing to give up!

And on that note, I have my own 1 bedroom apartment (which is frickin' huge, btw...to me, anyway!), and I'm starting to make some really good friends. Of course, I knew the friends would come (not to be vain, or anything, but...well...I make friends easily!)

I went down to Destin, Florida for my dad's family reunion the first week of October. I wish my Grandfather had lived to see it, but...maybe it's best this way. At any rate, it was good to have a happy family reunion.

Right now, my life consists mostly of going to work, and recovering from being at work. With soem variation, of course... My plan to go to culinary school is still on the back burner. I'm happy right now, and to me, that's what counts most of all. I know culinary school will come, and it will come in it's own time.As long as I'm in god health, can pay my bills, and am happy...can I really complain? Do I have any right to? I don't think so...
 

I've been struggling to write this blog entry sense yesterday, when I got the call. I've started writing it 5 times, and each time gotten bogged down in emotion. But I think I'm ready now...

Yesterday, June 10th, 2008, at 12:15 PM, my grandfather died. He was 83 years old. He was a friend. He was a supporter. He was a father. He was a grandfather, my grandfather. He was a great-grandfather. He was so many things, to so many people, over the years.

Perhaps it's worse because he was the first grandparent that I've lost, first close relative besides my great-uncle that I've ever lost. But still...the pain seems greater than it should. Last night, after getting the call, I contemplated going back to my empty, still largely barren apartment, and although most of the time I revel in the peace and quiet, the tranquility, I was afraid to return. That stillness seemed too lonely, now, too lifeless. So I went to my sister's house, and spent the afternoon and evening with them. And there, among the cries, both happy and sad, of my niece and nephew, I found a sense of peace. The peace I could not find by myself. My niece and nephew are so full of life, they seem to embody it...they banished the morbid shadows from my mind, and filled it with life and light. At least, until I left to return to my apartment for the night...there, lying in bed, with nothing but my thoughts to occupy my mind, I reflected on my grandfather, and everything he meant to me. And maybe because I'd been touched, not physically, but emotionally, by my niece and nephew, I was able to find peace in my memories, whereas before, there was no peace.

This morning, I sat outside on a bench under a tree behind my apartment for several hours...and for the first time in months, I wrote. Not a word of it would make sense to anyone else, jumbled up and rambling as it is. But they were words, and they came out of my hands, when I was thinking my muse had abandoned me. As yuppy-ish as it sounds, they were healing words, for I poured out all my grief and pain and rage at the world, and now all that's left is peace, and quiet memories, and love.

I know Grandpa is no longer in pain, and that comforts me. I hope he's gone on to a better place. But regardless, he lived a wonderful, love-filled life, and all that love fills me up, and carries me onward, and gives me strength.
 

So, this afternoon, right after I got off of work, I went to see the Ironman movie that came out today. I've got just one word...AWESOME!

Ok, well, that's not really a review, so here goes...

The action scenes are really incredible, the CG was done really well, in a subtle kind of way. The fight scenes were perhaps a bit over the top, but on the other hand, this is a superhero we're talking about! There were a few scenes where I thought, 'eh, I don't think he could have survived that'...but then again, what do I know?! Still, nothing that really drew me out of the experience.

There was really quite a lot of humor in this movie, and Robert Downey Jr. was wonderful! His character has such a dry and sarcastic sense of humor, and it's a great counterpoint to the action. And I just have to say, the character designs are all excellent!

So, all in all...I would rate it a 4.5 out of 5...bordering on 5. However, I must say, if you didn't like Transformers, you probably won't like this movie...but I loved Transformers, and I loved this! That said, this isn't Transformers 2...that comes out in 2009... This was a very distinct, individual film, with enough twists to keep me entertained, even though it's not a thriller by any means.

All in all, an excellent movie, if you like action films. PG-13, so nothing too graphic...but still, it is rather violent...
 

I am a firm supporter of the US Armed Forces, not because of what they're doing (We should not be in Iraq or Afganistan), but because the soldiers themselves have no control of where they go or what they're ordered to do. However, the executive branch of the armed forces just makes me mad.

In a recent article in the NY Times, it was revealed that the Army and the Marine Corps recruited significantly more felons into their ranks in 2007 than in 2006, including people convicted of armed robbery, arson and burglary.

Soooooo...they're turning away willing, often-times talented GLBT potential soldiers, and instead they're signing up dangerous criminals with a history of armed and dangerous crime. WTF?!

Here's a piece of the article: "Coupled with sharp increases in the number of waivers for misdemeanors, the trend raises questions about the military's ability to attract quality recruits at a time when it is trying to increase enlistment. The Army, which has suffered the most war casualties and the longest deployments in Iraq and Afghanistan, faces an especially difficult challenge in attracting qualified men and women." I repeat...WTF?! Again, why are they turning away willing and qualified applicants?! It makes no sense! When there's a shortage of people willing to do a certain job, you don't turn away people just because of your antiquated beliefs!

Here's the link to the full article: http://www.nytimes.com/2008/04/22/washington/22waiver.html?ref=us
 

We've just learned that Grandpa has MRSA, Methicillin-resistant Staphylococcus aureus, the very serious and often deadly strain of Staph. It's also one of the more contagious bacteria around. Grandma and my dad have to keep their distance now, which is hard on both of them. Right now we're just keeping our fingers crossed...
 

Soooo...Grandpa is back in FL, at the hospital in Pensacola. He's...doing ok, but...well, you know how your tongue, when you swallow something, covers the opening of the esophagus (SP?) so nothing goes into the lungs. Well, his tongue isn't doing that. So everything he swallows goes into his lungs, so he has pneumonia. In his condition, that could be deadly...but at least he's getting the care he needs. Unfortunately, there are no more surgeries they can do, and even if there was, the surgery would end up being lethal, because he's just so weak. And the surgery they just did didn't really help his heart any. My dad went down there to be with them yesterday, and he read the medical report. Apparently, Grandpa has every heart condition known to modern medicine except clogged arteries. At this point, since he can't swallow, they have him on a feeding tube, and they don't know if he'll ever be able to come off of that. Hopefully he'll be able to go home in a couple of weeks, though, and not have to stay in medical care or a nursing home. I don't think he would last very long in a nursing home...
 

So, today at work, a customer asked what the difference between hickory smoked and mesquite smoked ham was...I told her it was simply the wood that it was smoked over. Hickory is a slghtly cleaner flavor, while mesquite is a darker, heavier flavor. After the customer was gone, one of my co-workers, Lewis (he's 23, in Meals-To-Go [which we share space with] and a lot of fun...straight, damnit.) commented jokingly on how well I'd explained that. I said, with no bad intentions (honestly!), "Hey, I know my wood!" (and I do! I grew up in the woods, I've been around trees all my life! I know what I'm talking about...) Annnnnnnnyway...after I said that, I paused for a second, and then at the same time, Lewis and I both burst out laughing!

In other news, it came out that I'm gay...I've always been of the opinion that if someone asks, I'll tell, otherwise it shouldn't come up. Well, my two co-workers in Deli (both female) were talking about the cute guy that co-worker #1 had a crush on, and I asked if he had a girlfriend, co-worker #2, who knows him somewhat, said no, I asked if he was gay (hey, I'm interested in cute guys!), she said no, are you? So I said yes. I've noticed that co-worker #2 always wears a rainbow bracelet, so I figured she probably was gay or bi (she's bi), but it turns out that co-worker #1 is also bi! So, I'm in good company! And I can now gossip about all the cute guys there!
 

Yup, you heard it right! I got offered a new job! And I accepted! I'll be working Friday, Saturday, and Sunday, 5 AM to 5:30 PM, and I'll be making 8 dollars an hour!! That's 12 hours a day, 36 hours a week, which is as much or more as what Kroger will give me, and I'll be making 85 cents more per hour! And that frees up 2 extra days a week that I can use to work another job, which is big. Whether or not that other job would be Kroger, I don't know. I'll just have to see. The Kroger job may be going bye-bye.

You see, Kroger doesn't need another person who can work during the week but not on the weekend, so we might not be able to work anything out, but if so, even if this new job is the only one I have, I'll still be making more than what I am now. For, might I remind you, two less days!

Oh, the place is a new breakfast cafe, The Sunshine Breakfast, and it's only about a ten minute drive, so that's great. And one other thing...it's a set schedule, as opposed to the varying schedule that Kroger has. That makes it far easier to get another part- or full-time job.

As you can probably tell, I'm really excited, as everything seems to be going well. I applied for two more jobs today, both of which would be awesome to have, and I'll apply for another one Mon. or Tues. Hopefully those will turn into something. But even if they don't...while I couldn't have lived on my own for $7.15/hour/36hours, I might can for $8.00/hour/36hours...
 

The actual name of the condition that Grandpa has is dermatosporaxis. Basically, it’s a condition where the body does not form collagen correctly. Collagen is what holds the muscles and tendons together (hence the name connective tissue disease). The mouth, nose, and throat is nothing but connective tissue. When the doctor inserts the scope into a patient’s mouth, it goes into the top part of the throat and is expanded to provide room to get lights and surgical instruments down into the body. Normally, the throat has enough elasticity to stretch open. In Dad’s case, his throat tissue was very thin and wasn’t elastic at all. It just split in several places inside his mouth.

But, he is getting better...though I have to say, he still looks awful...the first time I say a picture of him, I nearly cried.

My parents will most likely be heading home tomorrow night, and Grandpa will hopefully be sent to a rehab facility in the Panama City/Pensacola area in the next 7/10 days, which would be wonderful!
 

Ok, so there have been some things going on in my life...

I'm really enjoying my job so far. I would say the 'honeymoon' is over, but I still enjoy it, so that's a great sign! I've been steadily getting more confident, and I've also been getting more responsibility. I'm still in the job search, though, as I can't live on $7.15 an hour. Once I get a paycheck or two (so I know what my budget can be), I'll get an apartment. I know the apartment I'd like to get, it's 517 dollars a month, and it's half a mile from Wendy's place. So, that's item number 1 that I thought you should know about.

Item number 2: THE STEWART COPELAND CONCERT!!!!!! I KNOW I SHOULDN'T BE TALKING LIKE THIS, BUT I CAN'T HELP IT!!!!! IT WAS JUST SO FUCKING AWESOME!!

For those of you who didn't know, GFG's dear friend Nancy had an extra ticket for the concert (2nd row, seat 5!), so of course I went. I owe her big time now. But it was lovely, I made some new friends.

Item number 3: Grandpa. Ok, so, Grandpa had his surgery, and we thought he was doing better. And he is! But...just not as good as we'd hoped. You see, he's just so weak. He's been weak for so long, that we've alomst gotten used to it, but something like this really makes us realize how weak he really is. Also, the doctors are saying that he has this genetic weak skin thing...I can't remember what it was called, but we've known for a long time that both he and my father have really thin skin. He bruises so easily, and the least little thing can cut him. When the doctors picked him up to set him on the operating table for the surgery, they actually tore through his skin. And his immune system is so weak that it's taking forever for that to heal up.

Grandpa stayed in a drug induced coma for over a week...I can't imagine what that must be like, to wake up and find that a whole week has gone by, and also to find yourself hooked up to half a dozen machines, with tubes running everywhere. Once he regained some motorskills, my parents gave him a notebook and a pen, and the first thing he wrote was, "I die". At that point, my parents freaked out totally, and they finally were able to reassure him that this would not be permanent. Grandpa has always said that he wouldn't want to live like that...

But he is doing better, he's sat up (with assistance) twice now, and the doctors are talking about maybe lettinghim go home to Destin, on the condition that he has a live-in nurse with him until he gets better. There's a very good rehab center in Destin, apparently, so that might work out well...we'll just have to see. One scary thing is that his hands are shaking really badly. Grandpa's father had Parkinsin's, and that's been a lifelong fear of Grandpa's.

My parents have been up there in Nashville pretty much all this time, and they don't know when they'll go home. They're really in limbo right now...

I want to be able to say that Grandpa will be fine, and that nothing will go wrong, and that he'll recover fully, but...I can't. Right now, I just don't know.

And item number 4: Recently I've been getting some negative comments on videogames from various people, people online, people in real-life, total strangers...as an avid videogamer, I sometimes get the urge to 'set the record straight', so to speak. But, you know...this article says it all.

http://www.escapistmagazine.com/articles/view/issues/issue_142/3052-The-Myth-of-...

And it's not written as a defense of videogames, either, but simply as a journey in discovering where this fear and dislike of this particular form of entertainment comes from. It's a fascinating read, whether you play or not, whether you like them or not. Let me know your thoughts on the matter...


 

I HAVE A JOB!!!!! I mean, I already pretty much knew that I had it, but I got a call from Kroger to come in tomorrow morning for computer based training, and then we'll set up a time for orientation then. So, it's now official! I have a job!!