Since 2000, I have been labeled as 'legally blind' by my doctor. I've attempted to write off and on since I was in high school about the disease that has plagued my family for centuries before it found its way to me. These are my recent accounts of my struggle with a genetic form of glaucoma.

The lineage of this disease is on my mother's side of the family and traced back to early 17th century England. Many of the family members afflicted by this disease were discovered through genealogy research, most closely associated with 'The Stokes Report'. I know little of "The Stokes Report", but that it was research by doctors in the 40s that centered around my Mom's family members and has something to do with tracking it back seven generations. My own doctor took an interest and I provided him with charts that have been passed down to me.

I trouble even now typing this short introduction because I seldom have the courage to wrestle with the subject of glaucoma and the documented information that I've barely glanced at over the past 20-some years. It's burdensome to even think about writing about my own accounts. My ignorance shows all the time, reminding me that I could better inform myself. The process of learning is fearsome and I should do it with the understanding I could be helping future generations, or even myself right now.

With all of the interests I have in writing, this is the subject that should be nearest to my heart. It seems to keep finding its way back to me after each time I push it away. Hopefully, I will be able to share more in the future. I need to not worry about revealing what little I know and just start tugging on those loose threads until I unravel the whole thing. Then, I can knit it all back together, hopefully learning something in the process. Not knowing the future and how it will all come together inhibits me even as I type. I wish I could just blindly forge on.

~ Brian