Pretty damned bold to make a statement like that, now wouldn't ya say? But then, we all know I'm just that kinda guy. Right?

In this first of two planned posts today (sorry, fans) I would like to tell you just a little bit about why I review reviewers.

It started early this morning, when I was perusing another blog by my friend PlannerDan . He wrote a post that I know we can all relate to. "A Little Whining and Ranting" 

After reading his post, I felt for him. I felt so bad, in fact that I went to my own port to see if I had been the victim of such a "drive-by" review. My personal goal is to review 100 pieces each month. Of those, a majority of my reviews deal with the reviews given by other reviewers.

Would it surprise you to know that I found five such nefarious pigeon droppings in my own port? Probably not. They were private, anonymous, and wordless. Yes, back in earlier days that was entirely possible on this site. One of them was a review of my entire professional writing folder! Contest winners and published works included! Does that make a difference?

I'll never know, now will I? That's the point. Someone took out their vitriol on my work. Was it a personal attack on me? Perhaps. Was it a vicious attack on my work? I have no idea. I think the review pretty much speaks for itself. And, that is precisely my point.

Dan's work happens to be very, very good. I've known his work for years now. Beyond my joy to see his writing again was the reality that the soul of a talented writer and encourager of our craft has been unnecessarily scarred. It probably won't last long because Dan is just too high-value a person for that. What of his reviewer? We'll probably never know. They are gone. But their droppings remain forever in the port of a talented and giving writer.

I review reviewers to thank them for insightful, professional reviews given to their fellow craftsmen. Reviewing is not a "higher" level of our art, folks. It is an entirely different, specialized area of writing. Just as a good poem or story can lift the spirits of the reader, the thoughtful review can lift the soul of a writer. I don't snipe with my reviews, but I will jump on a bad one quickly. Bad is not necessarily equal to "negative". Reviewers who "puff up" themselves at the expense of others is a bad review. A review with no insight to make the work better is a bad review. Those reviews get low marks from me.

I love to thank, and encourage good reviews by some of the best reviewers anywhere, right here on WDC. Not because I am a master reviewer--I assure you I am sophomoric at best. I learn from the talented reviews I see here. I learn about nuance of genres I do not write by reading, studying, and learning from their work. These reviews help my work. Isn't that the point?

I'm sorry Dan got dropped on. I'm sorry I got dropped on. I'm sorry anyone here gets dropped on. We know it still happens, yet with the changes in the ratings system here, we have moved to a higher and different level of expectation. I only hope we continue that trend.

I hope you will stop by Dan's port. I hope you will read, and honestly review his work. He deserves it. So do I. So do we all.

In His Care,

Budroe.
 

It isn't news to anyone--I suppose. Calendars are a very important device for those of us on this journey. Doctor appointments tests, travel to different planets for a quick lobotomy--these and more are significant issues that must be dealt with. I am preparing my November, 2009 calendar. I am not happy.

I have several calendars in my apartment. They, when current, keep me aware of such things as the day and date of the week. This is quite the accomplishment, as I have no idea what day or date it is--ever, as a result of the strokes. I know I have an appointment with my Proctologist on Tuesday, the 10th of Nowonder. What good is that if I have no idea that it's Tuesday, or Nowonder? Believe me, it's a trick that requires a lot of help.

34 items to get on the November calendar. That's before the, umm, other November activity. You know...the chaos of NaNoWriMo. Yes, that has to be scheduled as well, because my world now revolves around a ten-hour work day, five days per week. It doesn't matter where I am,or what I am doing at the time. Some things just must be prioritized. NaNo IS my priority for November. Those thousands of words will produce my personal editing schedule for the next year. That's on top of everything else. Time is your friend, and your enemy at such times as these. Who needs Turkey? Bring on the nanocookies!

Now, about that lobotomy!


In His Care,

Budroe
 

Several of you have asked about the latest medical news. I have posted a blog entry on it here.  

It's current, for the most part. It may explain some of the things I have been tangentially referring to since coming back to this Blog. I hope you will read it. It matters.

In His Care,

Budroe
 

I am back on the WDC site. I am back because, just like in the beginning, I want to learn more of my craft. I want to become a better writer. Writers write--every day.

I am participating in the 2009 National Novel Writing Month   activity. I have joined the WDC NaNo groups and will be representing WDC and FMWriters groups. One of the WDC groups is having a "Write-A-Thon" activity for this year's NaNo. Sponsors donate GPs per word written, with the GPs going to charity groups on our site.

I need sponsors. If you would be willing to sponsor my activities, please visit "NaNoWriMo Write-A-Thon"  and sign up to sponsor my activities. I could use the motivation, and the groups could use the GPs. Since my words will be written anyway, I thought it would be a great way to support some good groups here.

Just let them know that you would like to sponsor me--or any other participant of your choice. Thanks for supporting my NaNo efforts this year, and the groups who deserve the GPs. If you are participating in NaNo 2009, let me know. I have some GPs to sponsor friends of this blog, as well. Let's make it a family affair!

Budroe
 

Life picks up speed at such times. It's a pleasant change from the usual daily schedule, and puts a lot of pep in my step--so to speak. Today will see us visiting one of the Southern Illinois towns that are so picturesque. It is a college town called Carbondale; I'm sure many of you will know of it. Carbondale is the home of Southern Illinois University (Go, Salukis!), celebrating their final football season (budget cuts). Fall is in near-full color, and the view outside my 7th floor window is approaching spectacular!

It's a movie day, with food to follow (I think!) and I am looking forward to getting out "amongst 'em" today. I'll let you know how it goes. A day away from the computer is a very healthy thing for me these days. November's coming!

In His Care,

Budroe
 

Imagine. Among all the different things that we experience along the journey, there are so many new people, events, and experiences which we must somehow assimilate into our daily lives, now that we have learned we must come to grips with this new reality. It can get very confusing, and more than a little intimidating along the journey.

Some things, however, are not shared by the "group". Care givers cannot share them. Neither can friends, family, loved ones, Doctors, Nurses, or social agencies mavens. Some things are very privately experienced. Many of you, who have been called upon this journey, immediately recognize some of those things. They usually are the most recent things you have come to know. But, if you take a moment to look back upon your journey, you may find there are many such "private" moments. Some of them, I have spoken of here, in this Blog. Some of them I have not, because they truly are individual. They probably apply only to me.

I hope that this journey will show you some of those things, because I think they can help you as you travel down your path through the valley. From your comments, you show me this to be true, and for that I am really grateful.

Lately, though, I have had a very personal experience which I would like to share with you.

We do ask, in many different ways, "Why me?"

I have gotten an answer to that question that is entirely personal to me. It is one dealing with my faith. I am a Christian, and I believe in a vital, living Supreme Creator I call "Dad". For many years, He has tried (mostly in vain, I might add!) to direct my path--especially as I travel on the journey through the valley.

The other day, I was sitting in my apartment, reflecting on the progress I have made through the valley. I began to notice something about the ebb and flow of the walk. It hit me, as it so often does, like the preverbial bolt.

Dad wants my attention. There is something this journey is supposed to do...for Him. It is to be really transparent, in that I am not to be seen nearly so much as He is to be seen, and (as Christians say) glorified. The most amazing parts of this journey have always been found at that one moment. You surely know it. That moment, usually at the "0430" times.

You feel utterly alone. No matter who is with you, or around you. You just get this heart-crunching awareness that this is, regardless of any words to the contrary, YOUR journey.

And, that is when Dad tends to show up, and show off. The incredible feeling of "alone-ness" is where the lesson comes to me from. At least, it did recently. Here it is. Please hold onto the bar.

There is an old saying among Christians that says "When you get to the last strand of the rope you are clinging to, that is where you will find the first strand of His garment."

Well? Why? Please just consider the question for a moment. I've already given you the answer that I found.Do you see it?

What do you do when you are utterly alone? When there is just nothing, and nobody to care, love, encourage, or support you along the journey? What's that all about, anyway?

What I learned was that it is in those times, in those drastic moments when Dad shows up. When there is no one to turn to, or cry with, or seek help or comfort from, Dad is there. David knew it. His cries to the Lord always tell us (Psalms) that in his moments of quiet desperation and loneliness, God showed up. And, we surely know that He showed off.

That's what, I think, gave David some of his deepest convictions of his faith. The things that Dad did, when there was not one other soul left, added to his faith in such measure that he could pen the words of the 23rd Psalm. You know, that Psalm comes as a result of the 22nd Psalm, when David has found himself cowering in a cave to avoid his enemies. People seldom read them together. That's too bad.

When I am alone, Dad provides so far beyond my greatest need that it deepens my faith in Him. I am a great sinner. He is a great Savior. When there is no place else to turn, you see, there is no distraction possible. I can talk with Him--and I can seriously listen to Him. I can find my way back to Him in those times. The pain is there, and so is the fear. But, I know I need not speak them. In the first place, I cannot. In the second place, He knows them better than I. He knows my heart. But you see, Dad knows my heart so very much better than I possibly could that sometimes the most important thing becomes the most difficult thing to remember. He created my heart. What seems so difficult or confusing to me is simple for Him. He can straighten out deceptive thinking, sinful error, or pride with just a little bit of MY undivided attention. Life, as we have developed it, seems sometimes to be contrived only for distraction. I personally believe this to be completely true.

But, when there is no one...well, then we think differently, don't we? Must we really get to that moment before we can listen, and hear Him?
No, we just choose to. It's a "people thing--if you've got a belly button, you do it, too. How wonderful it is to run to His arms, and know that the Creator of the entire Universe would stop his every work just to hold His kid. Imagine.

When that happens, no journey is too long, or too difficult. There is no problem He doesn't understand. There is no condition He cannot make better for His kid. There is no human who can do that, not even the love of your life. He will send someone, or create a situation that you will call "good luck". He will bring His blessings to His kids, no matter what! Sometimes blessings come because we ask. But, sometimes, Dad just loves me so very much that He can't help Himself, and He pours out blessings so rich that we can't hold them all.

Sometimes, we only permit that when we have no other distractions. These moments do not make the journey better, or easier. They just make the journey, and all of life, worth it. No matter what.

When all this began, back in October of 2006, I had some of those moments. In April of this year, when I lost the use of my legs, I had a few more. When the journey decided to slap me in the face just to remind me of my circumstance, my Dad showed up, and showed off. Where Ole Ugly tried to slap me down, Dad wrapped me in His loving arms and lifted me up. Not beyond or away from the Journey, just enough to get my balance back. He put my feet back on the path. It took a while.

But, I'm writing this, aren't I? I'm still here. I'm still on the same journey. Life beat me down, and my Dad, my loving Father, lifted me back up as only He could. And, that's the point of the lesson. When you have no one, you have Him.

I hope I can remember that truth more often. I am trying to, anyway. I hope you will to, because it is perhaps the most important lesson on the journey--no matter what.

I am still, and hope always to be,

In His Care,


Budroe


 

Friends:

Nearly two ago now, an item "hit the wires" concerning me. In all that time, I have said nothing, because I felt there was nothing to say. Since returning to Writing.com, I have learned in a personal way that many persons other than myself were negatively affected by that item. While I believe the damage done is the responsibility of the person who write that item (and forever will), I do have something to say to those people. Not because I feel it necessary to defend myself. I want to say something to them because my name, my honor, and my integrity require a response.

Today, I have made public for WDC that response. It is the only response I will make. I did NOT write it to renew old arguments or hurts. So far as I am concerned it is, for better or worse, a "done deal". It is over. It is not over because someone else says so. It is over because I say so. That's only fair. If you have an interest in it, you can find it here:Saying Goodbye--to a Dream? .

It is written to and for the staff, faculty, students, members and friends of the now defunct A-1 Writing Academy. I needed to say it, and they have the right to hear it.

For those not a part of it, who felt it necessary to find a side to be on, I can only say that you have made your choices. May you find peace in them.

I am back, and I have moved on. Yet, I remain,

In His Care,

Budroe
 

Well, here it is, once again! I am participating this year in the crazness, along with at least 250 other WDC members. I have joined the NaNo Write-A-Thon Group for this year's fun and frivolity! I do support the activity.

This year, however, my words can create GPs for several good causes. Perhaps your cause could use some GP's as well. I need sponors, who will pledge GPs for the completed words, winning, etc.

I could sure use some sponsors for this event. If you would be willing to sponsor me for the NaNo Write-A-Thon group, please go here and complete the Sponsor sign-up form you will find there: NaNoWriMo Write-A-Thon Group 

I would really feel greatly motivated if I knew that your sponsorship was bringing much needed GP to these fine WDC activitities. Please sponsor my work. I will win this year. r Blair is off to another exiting adventure!
 

"Book of the Year Awards"
"DIY Convention Awards"
"The Edgars"
"2009 Independent Publisher's Awards"

$25.00 per entry, up to $75.00 per entry, per category (Limit five categories, per title; limit five title)...ouch!

One of my favorite author is well known for saying "Money flows TO the author!" Some say it is minimal risk for maximum return potential. I don't know about that.

"Finalist, 2009 Greater West Bubblegum Readers Awards"

I hope the good folks of this literate village will forgive my scepticism, but really....

"The New York Times proclaims him to be the breakout author of the year! A fabulous read! A page-turnig thiller that will captivate you!"

Sounds grand, don't it? What if I were to tell you that this "review" came from an assistant editor, for a "reading fee" of $280.00. Would it be worth it?

I love to write. I am a writer.I am a published author. When I began writing fiction, I decided to self-publish. I have learned a lot, and have to say I've gotten a deep sense of satisfaction from the process. This NaNo, I will be working--again on new words. That excites me. The juices are not yet flowing, but they are rumbling in my gut like a really bad burrito.

To desire success is a human condition. I want a really good book, that a lot of folks (even in West Bubblegum) will buy, read, and enjoy a lot! The satisfaction of learning our craft must be measured, at some point, or at least to some degree, by the ability to bring ducets to the coffers. This is only true if you ever desire to make your complete living by the craft. I do. There is, as any successful author will tell you (if they are honest about it), an entire world of new skills which you must develop to be a "successful author". I'm learning them.

I give one month to new words for NaNoWriMo. I then give one year to edit, revision, and manuscript preparation. It will take close to another year to get the publication ready, and out to the public. Marketing and sales follows ad infinitum, and takes most of the project's time.

It doesn't take long to realize that all your time is invested in title that is growing longer in the tooth with each flip of the daily planner. There are ten titles planned for this particular series. There are currently nine different series, or single titles somewhere in my toolbox.

My life has other dimensions as well. Even limited to the creative arts, there are three major projects which are to take my time. Is it worth it?

Sometimes, I do believe it is worth it. In the middle of the afternoon, I sometimes wonder. There are many other things I could be doing with my time, after all.Family, friends, useful and productive endeavors....

I'm pondering these and other things tonight. But, to be honest, what I WANT to do is to cuddle up in my quilt, on my couch, order a pizza, and watch scary movies. Or,maybe even read a good book. Is it worth it?

What do you think?

Budroe


 

I realized today that it has been some 464 days since I have had access or contact with my blog, or its friends. Most of that was due to my inability to have an online connection at all. That absence was, for some, a welcome reprieve from the carryings on of a crazy man. Some of the many friends of this blog, who had blogs of their own, seem to have disappeared off the face of WDC.

I have looked at the blogs on my blog list, and found nine of twenty five links no longer valid. That's a cool 36% of the list. Like for myself, sometimes things happen at the speed of life. But, if you know of a situation with one of the blogs from my list and can tell me what has happened to the folks, perhaps in a comment or even a private email, I would appreciate it. I feel the loss of those folks. Lots of folks, actually.

The purpose of this blog has always been to journalize my journey through, and beyond the valley. I will continue to do just that as long as it is physically possible. By that, I mean as long as I have access. That should not be a problem for at least the foreseeable future. There is a lot to get caught up on. I'm not sure how to do that the best way, so I'm settling for updating the past months as I can, chronologically from the moment of the occurrences. I know that may be confusing for some. The question is whether or not I should do it here, or create a seperate static item and simply link to it here. So, I have to decide that. I considered a survey, but then thought it would work either way, thereby making a survey invalid. Is it that big a deal? Really? No, not really. This blog is written for me. I know what has happened. I just need to put it into a written form that might possibly help a reader sometime in the future. I want the words to be here. I don't even really know why. Catharsis? Legacy? Immortality? LOL Hardly. Therapy. It will help, I think.

I'm missing folks. The journey continues. Let's see what we shall see, shall we? Indeed we shall.

I do remain,

In His Care,

Budroe