I took my blog down for awhile to get away from the public forum and get perspective. I got quite a lot of that after a visit to a new opthalmologist today, leading to a new entry in my ongoing journal on my struggles with glaucoma. For more, read here...

ID: 1176370   (Rated: 13+) Title: In The Shadows Of Glaucoma  Description: My accounts of my struggles with glaucoma By: Brian Keith Compton

I'll just say, sometimes you need illusion to inspire the miracle of hope to salve some of the greatest wounds.
 

My laptop up and died two days ago. So much for waiting to the last minute to do my reviewing.

I had all of Saturday to myself. My wife was hosting a 'candle party' which involved the kids. I was to take the laptop and get out of the house and now I'm at the library and can't get in the frame of mind to review.

I had to go online and order a part for my computer. These computers are packed with so much firewall protection, it take forever for pages to load. I'm looking at stuff to potentially review and I'm indifferent to everything I see. Some kind of performance anxiety mixed with this ongoing frustration.

I should have just got my reviewing done early. I've been late on a lot of projects lately, flying by the seat of my pants. That was my life in radio, running about as if my hair were on fire. I'd dash into the booth seconds before I was supposed to be on the air live.

I'm a lifelong, card-carrying procrastinator. I finally burned out in the news biz. Couldn't take the pressure of deadlines anymore. Then I impose more on myself and find myself in the same anxiety causing ruts.

When will I learn? Three days left. I know I'll have a last minute push somehow, someway. I figured if I just blog here, I can get myself going. It's moments like these that make me feel I should just stay away from computers permanantly. I'd be much happier doodling on paper under some pine tree between sessions of tag with my kids.

I might be in for another 15 year hiatus from writing. I seem to go into these cycles where I write for awhile before I'm reminded why I gave it up.

Okay, *Sits back. Waits for inspiration.*

B
 

Thanks to emerin-liseli for the Quill nomination. Thanks to Andrew - we won The Game!!!!!! for letting me know that "Old Log"  [13+] was nominated by Em for Best Short Poem. I think that's the first nomination of that type for me since joining this site. I recall being in other contests where I've had to submit my own items for consideration. Don't recall anyone doing this since animatqua honored "Before I'm Rejected By You"  [E] for a Wow award at her port.

To think, I only submitted the poem into the Shining Stars contest because they needed entries from Rising Stars. It was a forgotten poem I found lying around my desktop, tweaked a few words and now it has received so much recognition that my works are getting much attention after a two year drought.

I had been focusing on other websites like helium.com and bleacherreport.com and was becoming more of a falling star for my idle waste of time here. Most people know/were annoyed by my constant bot hunting in scroll due to the lingering boredom, waiting for my muse to inspire.

It's refreshing to see I can have a new focus and perhaps will write and review more earnestly again. Turns out my persnoal life has been very consuming of late. Tis the season for finishing outdoor projects. Everyone has been sick once, if not twice in this house. Been little time to focus on reviewing. And because I'm an all or nothing kind of guy, I have to have a block of time to get the nerve to focus my attention to review.

It's easier just to kill a few bots. But I've resisted much temptation to idle and have about a week here to finally review for the academy funder I've mentioned prior in this blog. Speaking of which, I should end this entry so I can turn my attention to other things. Long list of chores today. Hopefully, this will be the end of it.

B




 

Finally! A review completed as I am starting to make a run at this Sunshine reviewathon with 10 days left.

I was preparing to hit send when I got to thinking about how we have to report reviews to affiliated groups for credit. As with Rising Stars, Angel Army and now Sunshine for me. I always have to go to a forum and post who or what I reviewed. Such a tedious process. And then it hit me.

Boy, it would be nice if we could CC a review to another to help them track. I know people don't like their inboxes cluttered up with stuff and this could be a lot of work. But if CC was possible, it could help WDC further promote this 2nd account thing they were pushing so hard a year ago.

For members who run these review groups, they could use the 2nd account to receive CC'd reviews. Then, a reviewer doesn't have to clutter up a forum with posts about what they reviewed to have it checked. The reviews will be in their inbox to read/tally or whatever.

If someone notices this blog entry, hopefully SM, then I won't have to go to the Support forum or to him directly to suggest. I have a bunch of other stuff on my plate this afternoon. Right now, I'm distracting myself from doing more reviews. I get these thoughts that I feel I have to jot down from time to time and get derailed in the process. Now, getting back on track, I hope.

B


 

Sometimes, I can't explain a poem to make someone understand it's meaning. I usually know what compelled me to write, as is the case with "Careful Not To Sing"  [ASR]. And in a response to a review, I think I have in a nutshell what the poem is about:

It's loosely used as a metaphor for being a writer in this community. I imagine all the members in a room/online like this, doing their own thing. I want to make some noise to get attention sometimes and don't know how, or what the right way is. And it feels like they are all too wrapped up in their own issues they can't break out of their own silence either. So, it feels like complacency when we don't vocalize or intimate our honest feelings as writers. We get trapped into saying and doing the right things, rather than pushing the envelope.

Something that I do from time to time and gets met with something I imagine to be a stern look.


I don't make apologies for upsetting the order of things. I make waves from time to time, inadvertant or on purpose. I shake things up and I get shaken out of the tree, only to climb up again to roost. I cannot be deterred by the social norm, though I am controlled by it daily.

There just happens to be a few moments when I jump on someone's tail for good measure, bellow at the top of my lungs because I know the whole squeaky wheel bit, and I will have a stare down with anyone who dares me because I am competitive to the point of obsession.

I am not this way all the time. Only when I feel I need to be. And when I'm here, I pace myself.

I only hope that I can muster up the courage now to start reviewing like I promised. I keep waiting for that one opportunity. The kids and wife and me have been sick all week. The house is a mess and we've had visitors and many chores to tend to with winter nearing.

So, I can make excuses or I will just have to buckle down and do it no matter what the situation.

Now, what was I talking about?

Guess, I just wanted to plug something and further define/clarify who I am. As yet, I feel misunderstood. And I feel I must go on 'pushing the envelope' until I reach some kind of understanding with the thing stuck in my craw. What's a craw? I imagine needing dental floss as thick as rope to jettison some cavernous canine camper.

Okay, gotta stop myself before the metaphors get any more inane.

B
 

I got to thinking about newsletters at Writing.Com. I once subscribed to several newsletters, but figured I didn't need them emailed to me if they are archived. But I've noticed, I've missed out on some things that are currently happening because I check them so infrequently. And now I wonder if others do the same thing.

The reason for wonderment started after I had a poem featured in the Romance/Love newsletter last month. The only reason I would know this is because I got a review. I haven't been featured in over two years, so it caught me off guard and got me to thinking.

How many people would subscribe to that newsletter? Does it seem futile to put one together, if few people read or respond to it? I'm not saying that it doesn't merit readership and appreciation, but I only received one review. Are enough people keeping up with newsletters like this?

I was featured in the poetry newsletter several times in 2006-07 and would get a surprising amount of reviews/emails. I remember sending feedback that was also featured in some newsletters. I just wonder if there is enough incentive to keep people subscribing to newsletters that can generate enough buzz to keep up participation around the site.

Maybe, if I subscribe again I might find myself getting more involved. I just tired of having to delete all the newsletter emails with everything else filling my inbox. I'd have to pour through the archives to see, but I wonder if they are written to be interactive with members.

Great place to have polls, contests, etc. Great place to be featured to get exposure. And thinking about that, I could have used my blog or message boards to help create a buzz if I were informed in advance of a poem/item being linked there.

I know the newsletters might seem like a lot of work for people who already have plenty on their plate. I've often felt I could handle editing/creating one every two weeks or month, depending on how many people rotate. I don't want to downplay the effort people make creating them. I just wonder if the newsletters could be something more.

Now, they may meet behind the scenes to discuss how newsletters should be presented. I don't know if they spit ball ideas or try to do things to draw readership. If the folks at this site can track the number of subscribers, the might know how this is trending and if it's time try new stuff to get people like me to click on those little boxes to subscribe again.

I'm just talking off the top of my head mostly. I wonder why a lot of things work the way they do. I've done this since I first joined this site. I'd like to think I have good ideas and can contribute. I also know that I over extend myself and over think stuff, too. Then, I over commit and burn out. (are any of those 'over' words compound words?

Guess I'm like a back seat driver. "Oh, no. You're doing fine. Keep driving. We don't have to turn off here to switch places. I was just saying it looks like you would save time if you..."

Yeah, that's me.


 

Ever have one of those poems that you thought would get more attention, but just sits there in your port collecting dust? I've decided to take the advice of another member animatqua and post an abridged version of my epic poem "Heart To Pilot". The redux debuts today:

ID: 1600002   (Rated: ASR) Title: Weather Beaten  Description: Vivid metaphorical dream of something too far out of reach. By: Brian Keith Compton

I won't post the original here for now. The new version needs a chance to spawn on its own. If it doesn't draw much attention, then I'll just have to go on admiring the original and how I was inspired to write it.

Lately, I've wanted to rewrite many of my older works. There's always that feeling something resides in the expression of a work that just needs more polishing to make it shine. Some poems I tried too hard to rewrite, got too verbose and ruined them. Then, went back to the original as with "Before I'm Rejected By You" and found the simpler the better.

You just never know with these things. It's not like I'm a great poet. I'm just obsessed with perfection and find myself spinning my wheels on stuff I should have given up on hours ago. Now, I need to stop obsessing over this blog post and just hit 'save entry' and move on with my day.

Yes, good. Done for now,

~ Brian
 

I was totally surprised to learn I earned the Shining Star award today. Through my affiliation with Rising Stars, the Circle of Sisters determined my entry "Old Log" was the best entry this month. I knew they didn't have a lot of entries this month and just thought I would contribute, since I haven't entered the contest for some time. What a nice surprise.

I'm also overwhelmed with all the kind replies and further reviews received today. I want to thank everyone and hope that I can appropriately respond to all. I'm especially proud to be a Rising Star, now Shining Star, today. It wouldn't be possible without MDuci and Gabriella Loves RisingStars ! for supporting me for so long and helping me keeping my head on straight.

Thanks to all the reviewers for the high marks. I only wish I could be more active on this site, and perhaps I will be in the near future. if time permits.

Thanks. I've got to run. Kids are getting off the bus now!

~ Brian

"Shine On Me"  [ASR]
 

I keep tinkering with the front page of my portfolio Brian Keith Compton in hopes of driving traffic to my latest articles or items that earn me a few pennies here and there at Helium.com. Since it is the season, I've decided to go retro-autumnal and list a few oldies.

Fall is one of my favorite times of the year to write about. I'm going to add to this blog entry later with some other seasonal favs.

 

subtitle: toiling in anonymity

This has been slow going. I've been trying to increase my traffic here by linking my items on Google using my Google account. You can boost your items, add comments to draw attention, but it all may be for naught.

The problem with linking is the articles don't have titles when they are listed. Because Writing.Com identifies items by number, there is nothing in the title or tag line to grab someone's attention. The underlying subtext hasn't shown much to draw reader's either.

For instance, my Favre blog. I link entries but they don't show anything but the item number and the same blog intro blurb. So, if someone does a keyword search for Favre's latest last minute comeback, googlers won't be able to see what my entry is about or have any reason to be teased into clicking the link.

This is one of the reasons Writing.Com seems insulated from the rest of the internet community. I would advocate a change in the item labeling system. I know this might be a headache or nightmare overhaul, or maybe not. What do I know?

What I do know is that a lot more traffic could be generated if item numbers were replaced with the keywords describing the articles written at this website. Then, exposure to the outside world and many new members may arrive. Or, maybe that's a bad thing since this website has a big fish in a small pond mentality that keeps it's current membership happy rather than attracting more skilled writers.

I see the benefits of keeping my focus on blogging for sites that pay you for the visitors you draw. Using Ad Sense could derive some income. It just takes some internet savvy and finagaling to make it happen. Something I don't have time for, unless I thought I was a big deal and could make a lot of money for my words.

I'll keep it simple until or unless that day comes when I feel I could break out and actually make a name for myself on the internet. For now, I'll mire amid the toilers of anonymity.

 

I know I say I'm done with poetry, but there have been many on the back burner. The latest is something that I have tinkered with for some time and today just looked at it and decided to flip a few things around until it seemed coherent enough to let others see. I'll link here and hope for the best.

ID: 1599342   (Rated: 13+) Title: A Heart Such As Mine  Description: A symbolic heart can be many things. By: Brian Keith Compton

There are other poems still longing for my attention. I find these days with nothing relevant to do these poems give me a chance to tie up some loose ends, feel a sense of accomplishment until something else comes along.

 

What a wonderful month it has been! It's been an honor to among the authors featured by the Angel Army. I really appreciate the extra exposure and the fine feedback I've received.

It's been awhile since I've participated in the forums, outside of a few fun activities. It's been my desire to get back to reviewing. I struggle with reading these days and see better without my glasses when I'm on the computer. It does put a strain on my eyes, so I use artifical tears to combat that. I also think I need bi-focals.

If I can get my house in order, I'm signed up to review for another group next month and want to return the favor. I will focus mostly on reviewing poetry and look forward to seeing what everyone has been writing of late. It will be good to get in touch with some old friends and cross those paths again.

Thanks everyone for the support! You really are angels.

Brian


 

...whatever it takes to get me reviewing again. This old blind guy signed up to help a group raise gift points as a reviewer starting in October. Since I can't go door to door or bug you at your job to sign a sheet pledging how many gift points you'll give for each review I do over a two week span, I'm posting in my seldom seen blog for support.

Here's the link:

ID: 1555622   (Rated: E) Title: Sunshine Review-a-Thon   Description: Review Marathon to raise funds for some great groups! Run by Ash & Harley! By: Harley D. Palmer

Tell me to go for it, that I'm washed up as a reviewer, that you don't think I'm capable of helping anyone raise gift points with my feedback just to get me going. I can use all kinds of incentives to run up the score. I could do 100 reviews or a dozen. It all depends on who wants to help out this cause. I'll promise to review pledgers. I'll even do your homework!

I signed on the dotted line, so I'm all in for this upcoming review frenzy. I'd like to help out writers with any possible words of encouragement I might have to give. I keep shying away from reviewing, blaming my eyes and feeble mind from sinking my teeth into other writer's works. I know it will be good for me to get out there again, meet people I haven't reviewed before, maybe make some new friends.

Just looking for some purpose and regain that little something I had when I first joined this site. Turn back the sands of time and give this blind old fool another chance to prove what he might do...can do.


 

Why I struggle as a writer/poet lies within an unfinished poem that I look over and over on my laptop, waiting for some divine hand to show me the way to its conclusion:

Two hemispheres.
Two parents polar opposite of each other.
I dip into the passion of one
to create with the intellect of the other.
Like a fountain pen dragged
across the wide current that begs
in its gluttonous mood for more,
with much burden,
I frequently cross from one to another.
I bathe in those fountains of psyche,
molding my spirit that yearns,
renewing, yet tearing me down
by each dream I submerge.
The whole while I’m thinking
there’s got to be an easier way to be creative,
always taking this large, circuitous journey
daily around the track
that links these two minds
as one inside of my own.


My parents were very different people with different backgrounds and upbringing. I feel I have struggled all my life to live the best I can by both of their values. I tried too hard to earn respect from my dad which would never come. I didn't pay homage enough to the woman who fought to protect me from his ego that sought to crush me whenever I got in his path.

I'm conflicted even now to express how it feels to be betwix two entities that have guided me through life, without ever finding a true path of my own to follow. I fear I will fail my own children if I don't get my act together. I want to have purpose, direction in this life before I lead. Too often, I yield to my wife. I put too much pressure on her to pick up the slack when I am afraid of making the wrong decisions for our family.

I was hoping a return to writing would open some avenues, show me the way. I idle over the simplest tasks, fear taking on the bigger projects. I avoid the potential for monumental mistakes in search of safe, little victories that get me no further ahead in this battle.

This is all vague drivvel from a blogger no one here truly knows. Many get the gist of my poems and meanings at times, but I feel so one-dimensional here. I'm on this island, pretty much alone, wondering what I should be doing with myself. I waste time, bide time, waiting for some grand inspiration to sweep me up and take me off. Yet, I'm still here.

I've tried to quit this website several times. But, I have nowhere else to go. I don't have much at Helium.com. There's little interaction or community. I could find ways to get involved over there. Guess, it would just feel like starting over. I'm stuck. I need to make my mind up. I wish my two halves could become whole, find this identity I need, so I can pick myself up and move on.

Idling,

Brian
 

It's fall...that time of year again when I'm thinking of Mom.

Her birthday is around the corner, time to reflect and pay tribute to the woman who made life so much more enjoyable and easy for me. I never thanked her enough and wish I could do more now. What I have is the folder of musings and photos of her to share...

ID: 1170418   (Rated: E) Title: Mother, My Muse  Description: Poems and other works about the woman who inspired my vision to become a writer. By: Brian Keith Compton

I hope others can relate. I held a contest over a year ago and have reopened that forum so others can see the entries which were all winners. This is for a limited time, something I can do to share with others and maybe a word or two to help one another appreciate that special mom that may have been an inspiration, caregiver, friend.


From my eulogy for her:

"I am in awe of her. She would breath life into an ordinary world, give it color, and hold it up for me to see. She was an idealist forced underground. Her cause was her children. She would lead us by the hand to a place that was peaceful and harmonious. A place that I thought I could only discover with her until I found it inside of me. And then I look around, and I realize, she's alive in all of us. She's in my brother's eyes, in his smile and gestures."

ID: 1171943   (Rated: E) Title: Mother's Last Assignment  Description: Eulogy I read at my Mom's funeral in 2000. By: Brian Keith Compton

 

It took some doing and the involvement of many affected writers, but our plagiarist seems to no longer exist at the siliconindia site where I first discovered my article was being improperly used. (Red my previous blog posts for more)

Several Helium writers and writers of articles from around the web have contacted me with much thanks. It's very gratifying to know this guy can no longer display his stolen works at that site. I will have to pay close attention to see if he resurfaces. The only links to his plagiarized works that I had kept are no longer active and cannot find his account now.

This was a worthwhile effort. It is a daunting task at times to try to assert what you believe is right. I have troubled at times to know when to push the agenda. It was a no brainer in this case. It took a lot out of me and a lot of time. I'm glad to finally see results, because the site host seemed unwilling to do anything at first.

I think turning up the heat by getting all the other writers involved, some with more knowledge of copyright law, helped persuade Siliconindia to finally step in. I've lost some sleep over this. I've put on the back burner projects I could have been working on. I will have to refocus and refresh before I can move forward.

Thanks to all who participated and supported me through this process.

Brian
 

I had given up on poetry but continue to find forgotten works tucked away in folders on my laptop. These things, epiphanies that I jot down quickly and forget, return to haunt me. I had to finish this poem that still needs work, but feel I should share at this point to see where it can go from here.

ID: 1599485   (Rated: 13+) Title: Old Log  Description: A naturist's kinship with a rotting log puts life, death and purpose in perspective. By: Brian Keith Compton

Another of my Keatsian or ode-like efforts paralleling my relationship/kinship with a rotting log serendipitously stumbled upon in my nature walks. I'm startled by how real and uncertain life is when a tree is left to rot into the earth with no apparent purpose. It takes a true gaze to really know that all is not in vain, but it's easy for one to forget. The poem needs to show more of how I experience this failure to find purpose in my own life before realizing that I'm overlooking the obvious functions that make us whole.

More appreciation of what I have is what I need. More appreciation for a dying tree, even though it is unceremoniously rotting in its open grave.

I don't want the poem to seem too morbid, just give a realistic sense of self and purpose and how to rise above it to find meaning and self-worth above all.

I'll babble more about this later. I'm sure a rewrite or two is in the works before I decide what to do with this poem.

...and another poem:

ID: 1599740   (Rated: ASR) Title: Shine On Me  Description: Love teaches those who cannot comprehend its meaning. By: Brian Keith Compton

 

My plagiarist is still stealing and showing no signs of stopping in a quest to fill his blog with other people's hard work. The latest is an ironic twist...or maybe on purpose...a sort of defense or faulty argument for getting around copyright law...

http://blogs.siliconindia.com/Pushprajdwivedi/A_CopyCat_MultiPreneur-bid-zIN2c73...

Yes, CopyCat! Insane to think that someone has written an article on a business strategy/model that involves stealing other people's work. While you can borrow from others, you cannot duplicate it word for word, in essence, copy and paste, and claim it as your own.

Anyway, I steered away from this subject over the weekend. Making me insane that I haven't been able to get a response or see the stolen work taken down. I hope that Helium really is on this and is taking steps to put this guy out of business.

It's getting personal now, because he won't acknowledge me. When I intensely focus on something I can become very difficult to get rid of. I'm obsessive in this way. Right is right, and I will do everything within my limited rescources to give this thief a good kickin' to the internet curb.

Now on to the mundane tasks of life before I hone my blade and return to the battlefield.



 

My efforts at Helium.com are not going unnoticed. In the last few days, my portfolio has profited from many visitors and now I have back my writing stars!

They hand out those little blue things to authors who crack the 75th percentile. I shot past 80% with a 10 percentage point leap in just one night! Don't know how I did it. Don't care. Just means I have the potential now to earn more money over there and can stop slaving away with rewriting old articles to improve my overall rank.

It could be I got some attention for my work in the community boards. I've taken on a plagiarist in our midst and went to bat for other writers who were getting ripped off by the same guy who got me. I also emailed help desk there about problems with my article ranks and how I have not received payment for other efforts that I thought would draw a buck or two.

I've learned that I have to read the fine print. I also discovered how curteous and patient they are with writers struggling with their craft. They didn't take my complaints personally or put me in a corner. Lots of helpful individuals in the discussion boards dropped info on me when I needed it without so much as rolling eyes to the back of their collective heads.

Nice change and glad now that I spoke out about some things. As a result, I'm meeting other writers and feeling a sense of community and acceptance over there. And I have responded in kind by rolling up my sleeves and going to work. Being rewarded for my efforts now makes for a beautiful relationship. It's been a long time in the works over there, but I'm seeing some benefits now.

So, happy to share that bit of info. Glad to be a writer here, too. Always plenty of people to share ideas with and who kindly respond, even when I have a gripe. It's nice to know there are patient, understanding people out there who realize my value as a contributing member of a writing community.

Finding my niche on the internet seems more viable now.

Watching for the avenues,

Brian
 

I've seen no progress in attempts by Helium.com and myself to get this plagiarist to cease and desist. So, I've taken the next step and became a member at the siliconindia website and posted a comment directly to the thief's blog, only to find it has to be approved before anyone can see it.

Well, I felt assured he would know I have put him on notice, even if his website hasn't addressed the matter. And, I started a blog of my own where I threaten to go through his port and expose each and every article he's lifted from other web writers. (I found five works alone last night and contacted each of the writer's about the infringement).

But it's time consuming. I hope by firing the first shot over his bow will get his attention. He's posting new stolen works as we speak. Here's a link to my blog:

http://blogs.siliconindia.com/BrianKeithCompton/Exposing_a_Plagiarist_In_Your_Mi...