It never ceases to amaze me, the incredible generosity that people display. I had let my membership slide and I decided to not upgrade for a little while. Well to my surprise, somebody had upgraded my membership for me. I'm not sure why they did, but I am flabbergasted at the unfettered kindness of people. That, to me, is the cure for all the worlds evils - generosity.

To the person or persons who showered me with their kindness, I salute you. I thank you.
 

I had the weirdest dream, early this morning. I dreamt that David Hasselhoff threw 2 baseballs through my living room window, with me standing in it. I got mad, grabbed the baseballs and pursued him. The odd thing, he didn't break the windows.

Eventually I found him down in a valley at some old house. He was shooting a movie. That right there is the strangest part of the dream, him shooting a movie. I climbed down steps into some sort of pit. I walked over to him and grabbed him by his shirt and proceeded to rip him a new asshole for nearly hitting me with two baseballs. That crazy bastard went off. Telling me he was going to make me bleed and all sorts of white boy, serial killer, tough talk. It worked. I lost a little of my fighting spirit. But I did get him to admit what an idiot he was for throwing a baseball through my living room window. That damn David Hasselhoff sure is a crazy son of a bitch.

I am playing a baseball game today as a sub for a really good team. I'm nervous. I wonder if this very strange dream is telling me something. Who knows. I know I had to write the damn thing down though.

Sorry for interrupting your movie shoot, David Hasselhoff.
 

The clock said 9:30am. It wasn't 10am. The clock said 9:44am. It wasn't 10am. The clock said 9:58. It wasn't 10am.

Nobody, or nothing, could possibly stress me out as much as I stress myself out. I have this affinity for setting rigid time constraints on myself. If it's 5:46, I can't eat yet. I have to wait until 6. If it's 6:59, I can't wake up. It has to be 7am. Why? Where did it come from?

I ruined my entire morning because I was so upset about waking up at 10am. Normally I am up at 8. I screwed up and overslept until 9:30. I couldn't wake up because my crazy side told me it had to be 10am. It's just another thing I am working on changing about myself.
 

I just came back from Fort Mohave Arizona and I have come up with one certainty. Hell is a four hour drive from my Long Beach apartment.

I now know what a piece of bread feels like after I callously shove it into the toaster. My skin felt so tight and I felt like I was one more second from spontaneous combustion. I'm not a religious man, but I was definitely searching for a church to go and be saved. If my Mom had taken me to Arizona as a kid, instead of telling me the stories out of the bible, I might be a religious man now.
 

I've been playing softball since I got here in SoCal. But it has lost the challenge I crave so much. A big ball comes floating, slowly to the plate. Stevie Wonder would probably be able to hit it. I've grown bored of softball. I wanted a new challenge. I found it. I signed up for baseball, a sport I haven't played since I was a 160 lb weakling in high school. Now I am a 215lb muscle head and I am at the cusp of 35 years old. Now that is a challenge I can wrap my arms around.

Yesterday I was called upon to be a replacement player on a team in Hawthorne. I was under the impression that it was a 35 and up league. My kind of speed. But when I got there, I met all mid twenty somethings. Can you say, oh shit? I did.

The manager put me at number 9 in the batting order. So I had to wait 3 freaking innings to have the baseball thrown at me. That just gave me too much time to wonder what the hell I was doing.

Well the third inning came and it was my time to make that walk to the plate. It was a slow walk, the deadman walking as I like to call it. I was so nervous. I just did not want to embarrass myself, so I was hoping he would just hit me with the ball.
First pitch - BALL. Oh my God, that thing was coming fast. Why the hell is he throwing golf balls at me.
Second pitch - BALL. Thank goodness. I am glad it was a ball. I had no idea where that was going. The spin was so weird. On the bright side, I saw the spin of the ball.
Third pitch - STRIKE. I saw that one a lot better. I just didn't want to swing. Three pitches and my eyes are adjusting already. Damn that pitch was fast though. "Why is he throwing golf balls, blue?" I ask the umpire. He just laughs.
Fourth pitch. Oh man, it is coming right down the middle. To hell with it, I'm swinging. CRACK! Whoa....what the...wait...did I hit that? Run Jayson...run.
I look up to see the ball has landed in front of the leftfielder. My first time swinging at a baseball and I got a hit. Man, this is going to be easy.
My thoughts were already wondering to my first pro contract. I was wondering who was going to be playing me in the movie. It can't be Tom Cruise, he's too freaking small. Maybe Vin Diesel. Of course they would have to give him and anti-tan.

Well let me tell you. That first pro contract will have to wait. I struck out on my next two at bats. I swung at two sliders that looked like they were coming right at me. But they didn't. They curved so far away from me that I almost dislocated my shoulder. He was back to throwing those damn golf balls again.

By the way, I am writing a story about this. This is just a preview.
 

Man I love the game of baseball. I'm a huge LA Dodgers fan and I do not dislike the LA Angels of Anaheim(I still don't get that one because they are in OC).

The LA Dodgers were all in the news yesterday. We got Manny Ramirez. I can't wait to go to another game now and watch him hit. I love the game of baseball...did I already mention that???

I'm not one of those couch potato fans though. I actually play baseball and softball. I live and breath baseball. Now I get to hear my team in the news all day yesterday. They have not been that good so far this year, but it's good to watch ESPN, or the Boston Red Sox network, and hear my teams name mentioned.

I love baseball.
 

Today I did the travel thing again. I maneuvered through LAX with relative ease. I grabbed my LATimes(ignored the leftist bias) and put on my "Don't talk to me" face. Then a strange thing happened. I had my head down when a piece of bread slapped me on my bald head, coming to a stop on the floor in front of me. My first reaction was to turn around with a scowl on my face and my fist clenched to see who would be so brazen to do such a thing.
"A bird dropped it on your head man," my neighbor said.
"What?" It didn't register to me what he said. I thought he might be attempting some humor.
My neighbor smiles. "I saw a bird fly over and it dropped it."
Now that is something that doesn't happen everyday while sitting in an airport. My scowl disappeared and my fist unclenched. I just laughed and went back to reading.
 

I organized my closet yesterday and it set off an avalanche of life changing glee. A simple little thing like giving clothes to homeless shelters that I don't wear anymore and organizing my clothes that I do wear just made me feel so much better.

It just drowned me in relief and started on me on a life altering course. I started working out in the morning again today. I felt so alive. I hope this is just the beginning.
 

My Salvadorian girlfriend brought a naughty video home last night. It caught my attention and flooded me with excitement because the cover was loaded with nude women. But something odd also caught my eye- a bull with a vaquero riding him, his body barely holding on. I did a double-take. "What the hell is this?" I ask with a little trepidation.
"I don't know. I got it from Luis." she responds. Luis is her brother-in-law. He is as Mexican as you can get. He doesn't even speak English and he dresses with the cowboy hats, boots and the rancheros shirts.

Still there were nude, Latina muijers. This excited me. I put it on and it was the strangest "porno" I had ever seen. One second it would show a nude latina dancer. Then it would flash to a bull trying to throw a little man off his back. It continued to do this. Evidently, this is something popular in Mexico. A strange combination of nude women and bullriding. Its like watching football and knitting a sweater at the same time. Strange...strange.
 

I've always felt like I was Supermanish. I have been able to run like a deer, lift extremely heavy weights, play any sport that I wanted and even help an old lady cross the street. Well now age is catching up to me. Everytime I play softball or workout it seems a new injury whispers in my ear. Last weekend, I was playing softball on a Sunday morning. I felt good for the entire game. I even dove for a ball up the middle(I didn't quite get it).

Well later that day, I was "shopping" with my lady and my foot and shouler were hurting. I got home later and there was a blue and yellow softball attached to my ankle. I apparently sprained my ankle. My shoulder was so sore too that I couldn't lift it over my head. Age is kicking my ass so good that I'm getting injuries I don't even know about.

Luckily, its Saturday and I am about 90% healed now. Time to get back on the horse.