I'm really bummed right now - I was on scroll a little while ago and I had a message deleted off of it (which also means I kind of have a mark on my record now). I put two Spanish words in my post, and apparently you're not allowed to have words from any other language in your posts, even if it's just two, you translate them, and they're totally ASR. *sigh*

Also, earlier today I lost my ID card here at school and I was completely freaking out! My cell phone ran out of charge (which NEVER happens, I've always been good about keeping it charged!), so I couldn't call anyone to let me in the door to my dorm, so I had to wait outside until a girl on my floor showed up and let me in.

Okay, so now that I've gotten the bad out of the way, here are the good parts about all this:
I didn't have to wait long before the girl on my floor showed up - only a minute or so.
An angel bought me lunch. No, not literally (lol), but I was in line at the school cafe when I realized I couldn't find my ID card. The girl in front of me, whom I didn't even know!, paid for my lunch. I mean, it wasn't much money, but it was the principle of the thing. I think it's awesome that there are still people out there who do those kinds of things.
I got to chat with this nice kid from my Astronomy class (I left my ID card in his room when I went over to do my Astronomy homework). It was the same kinds of things you have small talk about, but it wasn't small talk; we actually cared what the other's responses were. We don't know each other very well (we've only had one class so far!), but I think he has friend potential, though like so many of my other friends here at school, he's a senior and is going to be graduating in the spring. I can't even imagine this place without all my senior friends...

And in addition to all these things, I'm having a bit of a financial crisis right now. Nothing too serious in the grand scheme of things (I keep telling myself that, anyway), but it is a nuisance and it's not good for me because I tend to overreact to things. Not externally - I've gotten very good at controlling myself physically - but emotionally sometimes the slightest things push me over the edge. I just think about things too much, I guess. I overanalyze and then I worry.

I think I'm going to put in Baz Luhrmann's CD "Something for Everybody" because "The Sunscreen Song" is on there...I absolutely love that song and I think I need it right now. For anyone who might not know, it's a speech a woman wrote for a graduation put to music. It's full of incredibly funny and amazingly insightful advice for, well, life. It always cheers me up, not sure why.

Ugh...I'm getting a stress headache now...time to take an Ibuprofen and take a nap, I think.

But hey, it's snowing now. Not much, but if it keeps going, eventually some will have to lay, right?

God bless,
acappella
 

I'm in-between things right now - I've got a class in a couple of minutes, but I'm at the library, so there wasn't much for me to do besides get on here, WDC. (I was determined NOT to sit down with a book because as I just said I have a class in a few minutes and I know if I started reading I'd totally forget and miss the class.)

My classes have been going pretty well so far. I'm really happy with the amount of work so far - it's just enough to keep me busy and keep my mind on the subjects, but it's not too much that I feel overwhelmed right as I come back to school.

As my handle says (acappella is on the mend), I've been sick the last two days or so. Nothing real bad, just enough to make me want to sleep in my classes.

Anyway, I guess this is going to be a short entry because I've gotta get going to class. I'll try to get on later tonight and talk about my classes a bit. I'm so excited!!!

God bless,
aca
 

So I've had a rough couple of days, but it's gotten a lot better and I am SO glad!

It all started on Wednesday night when I got my first ticket...it pretty much sucked. I was (understandably, I think) NOT in a good mood the rest of that night, and fortunately my family knows by now that I'm best left alone when I get like that. They knew that I knew I'd done something wrong, and talking to them about it would make it worse rather than better. I'm so very glad that, just this once, my parents seem to have realized that I'm not a kid anymore and they don't have to treat me like one.

I was really angry that night. Angry at myself for actually doing it, angry at my mother whom I was rushing out to meet...to shop. That's a point of contention between us - I think (as do others in the family) that she has a spending problem when it comes to clothes. We're not extremely poor, but I certainly don't think we're well off enough for her to buy all the things she does. The problem is, I'm on the thrifty side of the spectrum, so of course my perspective of the whole thing is a little skewed. However, I believe my dad is somewhere in the middle, and he also sees a problem with her spending.

Anyway, got a little off track, but there's the background information. So, I was rushing out to meet my mom because she had seen some coats at J. C. Penny's that she thought I would like. It was late in the evening, and I really didn't want to be going out, so I wanted to get this done and over with as quickly as possible (hence the speeding).

As I said, that night I was mostly just angry. Furious, actually. The next day it turned to depression. By depression, I of course don't mean the clinical condition, but simply a state of deep sadness that would have persisted at least that whole day if it weren't for my one friend Alli.

Alli's one of my closest friends. We like the same things, we get along great, and we really understand one another. She'll say out of the blue, "You know, I really don't like those things..." and I'll know exactly what she's talking about. I'll say, "Why?" and she'll answer, "Well, you know, they're..." She'll make some vague motions with her hands and I'll know exactly what she's trying to say. She's so understanding, and laid-back, too. I'm so blessed to have a friends like her. Without realizing it, she helped me out of my funk the other night. I wasn't 100% at the end of the day, but I was certainly above 90%, which is tons better than at the beginning of the day!

Today I went to the Farm Show. For those not from central PA, it's kind of a big thing here. The majority of it is farm-related stuff, but it's one of those things that's just fun to go to and hang out with friends - especially if you can get out of school for it as I did last year.

Wow, this is a long entry. Major kudos to anyone who actually read all that!

In retrospect, while I'm not glad it happened, I'm glad that God used it to show me the good in things (my friends, and how my life isn't as bad as I think sometimes). Like they always say, you can't know the good if you don't also know the bad. These past few days have been a roller coaster ride for me, but it was worth it in terms of what I gained in experience. Hey, if nothing else, I won't be speeding anymore!

God bless,
acappella

P.S. My handle right now says, "things work out". That's because of the things I talked about in this entry - and because I hated the book "Things Fall Apart" and this is my little rebellion against it, haha!
 

For whatever reason, my natural instinct is to (over)analyze people, myself included. It helps me sharpen my people skills and, frankly, it's kinda fun trying to figure out what makes people tick. I guess that's why I'm a psychology major.

But it hadn't really ever occurred to me that other people aren't the same way, that otther people don't look as deeply into others as I try to. Today at my family's New Year's supper, my sister commented that, though I didn't need any help in the area (her words, not mine), my new glasses made me look smart. I kind of laughed and said, half jokingly, "Yeah, that's not really one of my insecurities."

She genuinely looked a little shocked. "You have insecurities?" she said.

"Um...yeah," I said, a little perplexed. Didn't everyone? I didn't elaborate further because it wasn't the ideal setting for spilling my guts to anyone.

I consciously think about the strengths and weaknesses of everyone around me. As I get to know people, I actively try to figure out what they would do in certain situations, and then as I get to know them even better, I try to deduce why they act and react those certain ways. I've heard that's kind of a writer thing, so maybe people here will understand what I'm talking about, but I don't know many writers IRL, so I can't say that's the reason. Am I just weird? Or do other people do this, too?

Anyway, that's about it for tonight. Oh, yeah, I almost forgot: "How Music Moves Us Contest" . It's my new contest! I really hope it goes well...I've already gotten a review which was both positive and helpful AND a donation! *crosses fingers* I really want this to work!

Good night and God bless,
acappella
 

Had off today, so I went shopping with some friends. Got some cool stuff at great prices - 2 seasons box sets of "Stargate SG-1" (love that show!) for only $20 each! Also got "Eaters of the Dead" by Michael Crichton - it's supposed to be kind of like a different version of Beowulf, which I loved, so I decided to give it a try. I certainly got enough Borders gift cards for Christmas. I guess that's the fallback when people don't know what to give me because now I have three Borders gift cards burning holes in my pockets. Actually, make that two because I just spent one earlier today.

I got new glasses today! This is actually a big thing for me because I wore glasses when I was really little, but stopped sometime around second grade. I'm a freshman in college now, and my eyes have been getting worse (as in not 20/20 anymore - not sure why I had them when I was little, as I did have 20/20 back then). So now I have this very simple pair of black frames with just a little bit of hot green on them. They're pretty awesome - and they don't keep sliding down my face like I remember them doing when I was younger!

They do help a little, but really at this point they're giving me a headache more than anything. *sigh* Also, it really hurts my eyes if I go back and forth between things close up and things far away, but right now it's better because I'm just staring at a computer screen, which fortunately doesn't move back and forth or there might be more problems than just my eyes.

Well, I should be going. I have a huge backlog of reviews to write (and I need to read the stuff before I can write the review!), I have a ton of WIPs I wanted to continue tonight, AND I have a ton of stuff to do IRL. Like move all the stuff from my old room to my new room. *sigh* So much to do...

Hope anyone reading this had a great Christmas (I know I didn't say anything before) and hope you have a great new year!

God bless,
acappella
 

It strikes me more and more every day I'm here just how much of a family this community is. Whether it's something as simple as sending a nice review or something as big as people pulling together to wish one of our own well ("Invalid Item" ), the people here are just great. They're all so nice and helpful, and then they pull together in times when one of their own (SHERRI G ♥ WDC ♥ ) is going through a tough time. And then there's "RAOK Upgrade Brigade Group"  and so many other charities on this site. And then there's that wonderful person - I still don't know who - who gifted me this upgrade!

There is a sense of family here that I have not found anywhere else on the Internet. The people here are real people and don't try to distance themselves from each other because they are geographically distanced. They actively try to reach out to the people on the other side of the computer screen. They come, with all their strengths and faults, and do the best they can to make this place better. And they've done a darn good job, in my opinion. This place is awesome. I don't ever wanna leave.

I really wish I wrote in here more often. It's just so easy to get sidetracked with life. There's always just so much to do! There's always something else to do. *sigh* Alas, if only I could live to be 200. I dunno - maybe I could get everything done then. I know, I know - my life's just starting. But it already feels like so much time has slipped away!

Well, gotta go now - time's a-tickin' and I've got stuff to do! Wish me enough time to get it all done!

God bless,
acappella
 

I feel like singing so badly right now. I just listened to these audio recordings a friend of mine, stomper, made. If you're interested, they can be found at http://www.loudio.com/artists/SirDent.13951. They're mostly just him messing around with a sound recorder on the computer, but I enjoyed it because it's nice once in a while to be reminded that the people here on WDC are actually real people. It's easy to forget to look beyond the words on the screen.

I also feel like singing because I'm very excited right now! (Whenever I get excited I want to sing, go figure!) I'm leaving with a friend in a few minutes to go Christmas shopping. I saw her one night over Thanksgiving break, but other than that I haven't seen her since the summer! She is one of my three best friends, and I missed her so much, so I'm very excited about seeing her!

I have to go now, but I'll let you know how it goes!

God bless,
acappella
 

I feel so inadequate sometimes. It frustrates me that I can't do some things better. I think in some ways I'm lacking in the social skills others acquired in elementary school because I was too busy keeping my nose stuck in books.

It's finals week. It seems like it can't be already, but it is. And with finals comes stress - and a lot of it. Some people are better than others at dealing with the stress. I have a friend here who, frankly, doesn't deal well with stress. I just met her here at college, but in some ways it seems like I've known her for forever now. We really clicked after we met (we had a writing class together this semester) and we've hung out so much and grown so close. It's so weird because neither of us were trying very hard, but we have similar personalities, even if some of our individual likes/dislikes aren't the same.

Well, it also happens that she has OCD (obsessive-compulsive disorder). Now, she's never seen anyone about this, but from being a psych. major and knowing her, it doesn't take much to connect the dots. And she's got it bad. One of her OCBs (obsessive-compulsive behaviors) is making sure there aren't any marks on things (random dots on papers, scuff marks on the floor, etc.) and checking things many times. Tonight we were leaving the dining hall and she threw something away in the trash can by the door. Or course, she had to check a couple of times to make sure it had really gone in and inspect the trash can to make sure all those little marks on it weren't little pieces of anything that needed thrown away - but that's normal. I'm used to that now. I simply assure her it's nothing and try to move us out the door.

However, tonight we were halfway back to our dorm rooms (and we had already parted ways) when she called me and said that something she saw on the trash can was really bothering her and she needed to make sure what she had thrown away wasn't still sitting there on top. I am very understanding of all this because I myself have OCD tendencies, but I wouldn't quite say I actually have it. But I understand having the compulsion to fulfill some irrational obsession. So, I try not to make her feel worse about it than she already does. But as soon as we met up again and started walking back towards the dining hall, she started crying. Since I know she doesn't handle stress well, I thought it might just be finals. Even so, I didn't want to be insensitive, so I didn't say anything about it.

She started saying she was sorry for crying and that it just seemed like everything was going wrong in her life. At that point I asked her if it was just finals, and she only kind of answered me. I didn't want to push her, though, because I could tell she was not doing well. So we went up to the dining hall, checked the trash can to her satisfaction, and then started going back to our rooms. Only I didn't want to leave her alone - she seemed like she needed some company. If she was just by herself, I knew it would only get worse as she kept mulling things over in her mind - it wouldn't solve anything and she'd only make herself sick (she's done it before).

So I went back to her room with her. I had planned on just hanging out until she went to bed to make sure she didn't get distracted and start worrying about things. However, when we got to her door, she kept going and said, "I think my roommate's in there, and I don't want to talk in front of her. We can go over here." So we went just outside the double doors of the hallway into the stairwell. It was only a few seconds later when she said, seemingly out of the blue, "My dad's an alcoholic." I didn't know what to say, so I didn't say anything. But she kept going anyway, her eyes tearing up and her face getting all red. "I've never told anyone that, not even my best friend back home."

I didn't know what else to do, so I just hugged her. I asked her, as delicately as I could, if he knew he had a problem. She said he didn't really see it as a problem, but he's destroying all his relationships because of it. He was fine for a few months until Labor Day, and then things started getting bad again. He and her mom were fighting a lot, and he was also fighting with her parents and his own. There are some other problems within the family, so she says whenever she goes home now it's like walking on eggshells. And it shouldn't be like that. Not with your own family, for crying out loud!

The theme of our writing class was happiness, and I've learned a lot about being happy from that class and I think I am a happier person because of that class. So now every time I go home, I see all the little things that people fight about and they simultaneously seem insignificant because of the triviality of whatever the fight is about and all-important because of the principle behind it: how is it that people can honestly argue and keep grudges over such trivial things? So I understand her frustration when she goes home and there's a lot people getting excessively angry over small things.

Anyway, she just called me and she's doing a lot better now, fortunately. She said it helped just getting that out because she'd been keeping it bottled up inside for so long, so it didn't matter that I didn't know what so say or how to help her. I was so happy to hear that. I really hope she is able to deal with going back to live at home for the month or so between semesters.

I never thought it would be possible to get to know a person this well this quickly, but it has happened. And I'm glad I've gotten to know her because for all her faults, I can see bits of myself in her and she's helped me grow as a person over these past few months. I'm going to miss her once I go home. I leave on Saturday for home, but she'll be leaving on Friday, so we only have two more days. I just really hope she can rise above it all. If anyone is reading this and is so inclined, please keep her in your prayers. I don't want to mention any names just in case anyone on here knows me and will know who I'm talking about - just pray for my friend who's going through some tough times.

God bless,
acappella
 

Today was the last day of classes. It's a blessing and a curse, the way I see it. None of my classes were absolutely horrendous, but I'm certainly glad that the work is almost over - for about a month, anyway, until next semester starts. On the other hand I've come to love it here. Even my difficult classes aren't so bad if I really think about it. In fact, since I've started my first semester here with those classes, it almost seems like they are defining "college" as I know it because it's the only experience I have here so far, if that makes any sense. It's going to be odd to come back in January and have different classes with different profs.

Tomorrow is our second performance of "Pandora". We had a rehearsal earlier tonight and I think I did amazingly well considering I haven't looked at my lines in over a week and considering the sheer amount of things that have happened in said week. The last three of our holiday services went went, all things considered. In fact, both choirs did extremely well overall. However, the instrumental ensembles were not having a good night on Saturday. Among other things, when the guitar ensemble was trying to set up (inconspicuously because another ensemble was performing on the other stage at the same time) and one of the guitarists almost fell down and over the railing off the balcony. Fortunately, he didn't, but in the process of almost falling he banged his guitar (quite loudly) against one of the music stands and made lots of windmill motions with his arms. Overall it was very disruptive. At least he was all right, though. And his guitar was, too.

I go home Saturday. I can't believe this semester is over already. And yet in some ways it seems like I've been here forever now. It's all in the perspective.

Last night at our last holiday service one of the lyrics of one of our songs struck me. The song is "The Prayer of Saint Francis" put to some very wonderful music. At one point there is an alto solo: "Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console." At the beginning of the semester I remember thinking, Well, these are great sentiments, but it's impossible to actually live like this all the time. Now I know differently. The theme of my Writing 100 class is (or was, depending on how you look at it ) happiness; the full title of the class is "Happiness: The Holy Grail of Western Society". It was possibly the best class I have ever and will ever take. That class taught me so much about life and how to live it and I've gained so many friends from that class.

Anyway, I realized that at least for the past couple of weeks, if not longer, I have been living that way: In situations were it was me or the other person, I've been choosing the other person and it's made me so much happier. I can't even explain why, but there's something about helping other people that makes me feel good. I had been doubting whether psychology was the best major for me, but I am no longer worried. My fears have been quelched - at least for now.

Well, it's getting late and I have a big day tomorrow. Wish me luck! (I might need it!)

God bless,
acappella
 

Yet another holiday service tonight. Four down, two to go. It's gotten to the point where we've all sung these songs so many times in such a short span of time that it's so easy to just space out while we're singing and not pay attention. This is especially easy because my part for the one song is literally a measure of music repeated 30 or so times. It's so easy to switch to autopilot, but that's one of the worst things you can do when singing: when this happens you tend to be under the pitch, you tend to speed up the tempo, and your pronounciation and articulation tend to lag. This last one isn't a problem in said song, but the other two are. I see the conductor's hand and I know how fast we are supposed to be going, but we're always a half a second ahead of her in this song. As a whole, we also tend to go down in pitch, but it's not as much of a problem on that song as with some of our other a cappella songs.

And in other news, I only have one more day of classes! Unfortunately, that means that final exams start on Wednesday. Tuesday is a "reading day" in which (theoretically) students with final exams on Wednesday study. I have classes Monday and a final on Wednesday, but our second performance of the play "Pandora" is Tuesday afternoon, so I won't get to start studying until Tuesday evening.

I'm actually not as worried as I was about my finals. My final Wednesday morning, Calculus I, was supposed to be my easiest, if that gives any indication as to just how hard my others were supposed to be. My other two, Intro. to Philosophy and Religions of India, were both on Saturday three days later. Recent changes in these finals have significantly lowered my stress levels. The Philosophy final will not be cumulative; instead, it will be like a normal test and will cover the last of our three major units. Also, the start time was pushed back from 8:30 to 9:30, so I will get to sleep a little more into my Saturday morning (normally the only day of the week when I do sleep in). In addition, the India final is a take-home exam which will be due at 1:30 that afternoon. So, basically, we are allowed to use any resource at our disposal except other people, which is just fine with me because I have excellent notes from that class and understand the concepts well, but would have trouble memorizing it all for a test simply because of the sheer magnitude of the information.

My life has just been consumed by so many things happening here at college lately. There are so many things to do and so many things to think about. First, I was told by a friend of mine with whom I lift weights (she's a senior and an RA) that at the end of each semester RAs are allowed to nominate people who they think would make good RAs and she wants to nominate me! Of course, even if I wanted to, I wouldn't be allowed to until next fall because I'm still a freshman now, but I was immensely flattered by this. I don't really see myself as leadership material. I don't know if I have what it takes to be a good RA - because it is a full-time job, from what I've heard - and I would hate to be a bad one!

So that has been going around in my head for a while now. Then just last week I got an e-mail from my faculty advisor (who co-teaches my required Intro. to College Life class along with my student advisor) asking if I had thought about doing student advising! I answered honestly: no. Later, I asked my student advisor about it, asking him what all is involved and such, telling him that my faculty advisor had mentioned it in an e-mail. He said that was because they were discussing who they should nominate to be student advisors next fall and my name was in the mix.

All this has been making me think a lot. I'm trying not to get a big head here, but I'm really happy that all these people see me this way. At first I thought it was just my friend the RA and maybe she didn't know me as well as she thought, but there are at least two other people who feel the same way! Now, here's the real dilemma: If I decide to do either one of these things (be an RA or be a student advisor), which one should it be? Because you aren't allowed to do both - you simply wouldn't have the time. Student advising is certainly easier - you help moderate a class that meets only once a week and help grade papers, but the papers aren't anything difficult. However, there isn't any tangible benefit (other than it looks good on your resume). Being an RA, on the other hand, is intense and takes a lot more dedication - but the payoff is much greater, too. You get a room all to yourself (no roommate!) - and for free! Yes, that's right: free room for each semester you're an RA. And that could be especially helpful considering my own financial situation. (sigh) So much to think about.

Well, I have to go - the service begins in about an hour, but I have to be there beforehand. Don't ask me why - they just tell us to show up half an hour or so early and I do what they say.

Sine cera,
acappella