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Some rainbows are bright, some gray, some in colors you've never seen. |
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** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** The sun is always shining and there are always rainbows. If it's cloudy, the rainbow may be covered or in shades of gray. If the rain has just passed, the rainbow may be strong, clear, and brilliant. If the sky is crystal clear, the rainbow may appear in colors unexpected. Whatever is going on for you, there's a rainbow out there somewhere. Look for it. And if you find it, let it brighten your day. Keep it in your heart to tide you over until you see the next one. Gonna give this Johari Window thing a shot. If you think you know me or want to see what others think about me, follow the link then follow the directions. Life is words in motion: Flowing from mind, to hand, to page; Sung from heart, to voice, to ear; Life is words in motion. ~Douglas The Human Touch By Spencer Michael Free
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| There are some movies which, no matter how often I watch them, chokes me up and brings tears. And even when I watch them by myself, I somehow manage to pull the macho card out and try to laugh it off. Foolish, really. When something is so powerful it touches the heart, one shouldn't subvert and subdue it. One should celebrate it and embrace it. But while my head knows this, my... what?  I don't know what it is. Not my heart. But some part of me just can't do that anymore. I still have to repress the emotions when they come around. Even when there is no one else around.The funny thing is, while I try to suppress the tears and the emotions that go with them, I allow for certain other emotions like embarrassment. I even try not to smile or be too happy. (Though truth told, the minimizing of smiling is for reasons of the dental variety rather than emotional.) So anyway, what I wanted to do here is list the movies that touch me and make me feel emotions. Not weep into the blog. So here they are. Or some of them at any rate. Rent Latter Days Angels In America A Chorus Line Moulin Rouge LOTR: Fellowship of the Rings and Return of the King More like than not, it's the music/songs that are so touching for me, but obviously not for all of the movies. After all, Latter Days and the LOTR movies are not musicals. So it is actually the story line. But for the musicals, the music certainly brings it to the fore even more and makes them all the more potent. I think that's enough rambling for one day. Later. |
| That's a lot of time. A whole year, in fact. Unfortunately (or fortunately as the case may be), I am not awake nor at my computer that long. I realized last month just how much I can commit myself to various projects and creative writing and whatnot by overcommitting myself. I am not going to do that again. In a word - burnout. Between the One World Events, the various contests, the writing goals, etc, I just became burned out by the end of the month and didn't want to do anything at all. None of it. So much so, that I think I've let people down by not upholding or completing some of my commitments. This month I'm only going to finish what was started (and can be completed) such as judging the One World contest and work towards my 500 Words-A-Day and maybe occasionally post here in the blog. Beyond that, I'll just work on my own stuff. The various stories I've started have suffered a deficiency of attention, so my dedication this month is going to be focused on me, myself and I - and my writing. I'm not becoming a recluse, but I'm not going to sign up for anything this month. If I choose to participate in something, I'll just do it and submit as long as it is something that I feel driven to do. Sorry if this doesn't sound like me, but I'm just a bit tired now. It's time to take time for myself and my own writing for a bit. Perhaps next month I'll have recovered sufficiently and feel better one I've gotten some personal writing done. |
| The best word I can think of for this bit of news that can begin to relay my feelings is... MAJOR YAY-NESS!!! I had a talk with the Executive Director and General Manager yesterday and found out that I am being extended a one-year contract to work as the Executive Assistant for the Bayou City Performing Arts. Now I'm not getting much in the way of benefits (health and the like) because our finances are not what they could or should be. But I will get 2 weeks vacation, paid out of office training, sick days, "stress days"... you know, the kind of things that make working in a non-profit organization arts organization livable. What makes this position so wonderful for me is that I've actually been dreaming of having it for about 4 years now since it was first created. I've been working as a fill in office assistant for the past couple of months and did volunteer time before. To use the words of the E.D. I have "exceeded their expectations" in the fulfillment of the job and they are "very pleased" with the work I've done. The 'they' in that last phrase includes the president and members of the Board of Directors and the others that have any kind of regular contact and communication with the office. The only thing left to do to make it completely official is to sign the contract, which should happen within the next 48 hours. The contract won't take effect until September 1, but the General Manager does have the option to start it early without affecting the end date. So everyone who feels so inclined, lift your glass in celebration with me tonight as I toast my first full and official contract, salaried office position - a job I've wanted for a long time now and with an organization I really love. Slainte! |
| The best word I can think of for this bit of news that can begin to relay my feelings is... MAJOR YAY-NESS!!! |
I'm gonna be gone for a few days on a business/staff retreat until Friday evening. So if you have any questions regarding One World or An Auction for Funnyface, kindly direct them to 🦄ðŸ³ï¸â€ðŸŒˆSapph   . Anything else that I'm involved in, just drop me an email. I'll be checking in once a day and will get back in touch with you this weekend. Thanks.So y'all have a great week! I'll see you at the other end of it. |
FtL lead: "Well, now"  Ask me a plethora of questions about the religion I practice and you are bound to get the same answer to a majority of them: I'm not big on discussing religion. Too much potential for verbal violence and hard feelings. I've got enough of the second, and for the first, I'm a passivist. But as you who've read my blog know, in my own private space like this, I can and do discuss my church and on occasion a belief or two. I grew up being taught what to believe. Even when I had the option to not go to church, I went by myself. Not so much for the religion, but for the community. And because, as I was taught earlier in life, it is where I should be. Then when I left home and went to what, in hindsight, I call an oppressive religious school and left that, I abandoned all pretense of a religious life. That part of my life I like to think I was an agnostic ~ a seeker of truth. Only within the past 3-4 years have I been comfortable in going back to church and following any kind of religious thought. What I found before going back is a personal truth. And that is what I celebrate. The basic tenants of my faith are still Christian in their foundation, but people I grew up with would find much less in them than we were taught. The principal differences come in the 'definitions' of the words used. However there are concepts in my personal faith that are completely foreign to the people of my childhood. These differences would maybe now make me classify myself as a Deist. Much of what changed my perspective on religion was finding out some of the things which Stik mentions in her lead. One, America's founding fathers were themselves deists, unlike the firm religious Christians as I was taught. The words "under God" in the American pledge of allegiance were not in the original pledge, but only added at some point in the early 1900s by presidential decree. Which leads me to the biggest realization I made: Religion is little more than a sanctified synonym for politics and politics a secularized version of the word religion. So, is my religion important to me? No, not really. Truth told, I can't stand religion. But my faith... ah, well, now. That is what counts for me. |
| The Countdown: In February I had refound my muse and began to write again. More for the fun of it and the occasional challenge when I take up a contest or two. In March, a contest comes along that thoroughly inspires me to get to work on a book again. I cannot seem to stop writing. Even though I'm not part of MarNoWriMo, I still manage to have the most prolific writing month in seeming eons. In April, I don't know what happens. Burn out, maybe. The desire to write is still there, but my output has been cut in virtually half from the previous month. Or at least is seems that way. May, desire ebbs as ennui begins to set in. It's my WDC birthday, for crying out loud! I should be a nonstop inkster. I'm still involved ~ more so as I run my first raffle. But my muse seems to have taken a vacation. June, real world birthday and back to the regular work world. Distractions develop my ennui to deeper levels. I turn from the creative even more towards community. Barely keeping minimum goals met. July starts and I am all revved up again ~ Creative juices start pumping again and I'm ready to start writing creatively again. I do. I start. I'm on a roll. I get involved in another community event and the past four months suddenly get compressed into two weeks. Ennui has again set in and creativity ebbs. I find I just don't have it in me to be that creative. Somewhere there has got to be a balance between the two ~ creativity and community ~ here at WDC. A place where hosting, supporting, or being involved in community events doesn't curtail creativity to the point of not being able to write. That is a place I still need to find, want to find, have to find. Without that place, I find myself unable to be satisfied to with what I actually do accomplish. Hell, I'm surprised that I remembered I had the lead today. So to wrap this up, and hopefully I'm not breaking any FtL rules here, but I would like to make this entry a prompt for all of you reading: I know you are all frequently involved in community and work to keep creativity flowing. Have you found that balance? Do you find yourself fighting ennui with a lack of creative writing? What do you do to deal with it? Keep in mind that I'm not talking about writer's block, just a diminished or diminishing desire to write. How do you deal with this (if you find yourself facing it)? Signed, Frustrated Ennui |
Howdy, Y'all. I know it's been a couple of days since my last entry, personal or FtL or otherwise, but I've been rather busy with another project:
This is a combined project that 🦄ðŸ³ï¸â€ðŸŒˆSapph and I co-created and built in 5 days. We still have a few things to do to get it fully complete ~ mostly in the images department for the c-note shoppe. But the thing we don't have control over the biggest aspect of the project, guaranteeing some awesome prizes for everything. Let's see if I can draw up a list from memory (and yes, if you read this you can consider this an invitation to donate to any or all aspects of the Event  ):The Quiz: This one I basically have under control. Sapph's going to design the award siggy and I'm going to cover the GPs for the raffled MB. I'd like to be able to offer as many as four more MBs but the GPs for those will have to be donated ~ either into the bank or paid out by the donor without sending any GPs. Either way works for me. The Contest: This is certainly a big one. At the base level, the way I have the prizes lined up right now, 135K in GPs are needed. Less if there are an 'insufficient' number of entries. But if more comes in earmarked for the contest, then I would increase the size of the prizes, most likely by adding GPs to each prize. The Auction: As with any auction, this is all about prize package donations. Whatever ya got, whatever ya want, we'll take it. And the funds raise here go into the pot for... The Raffle: Simple enough. Raise money in the auction, gather GP donations, and sell tickets (at 50GP each). Then the GPs go to a split between one ticket winner, four charities, Sapph and me, and a maximum of 5% of undesignated funds to help cover contest expenses with any left over going to the charities. But we would also like to offer other prizes for additional winning ticket draws. Kind of like I did in the Share & Share Alike raffle. Anyway, I'm pretty sure that's it. And aside from maintenance of everything over the next two and a half weeks. I think I can finally get back to my writing. If you have any questions about any of these, just let me know. If you want to give some GPs, send them to Group #1448081. Any GP donation of 50K or more will net you a MB, unless you decline it. So, as I said, now that all the hard work is over on the Event, the harder work will now begin. And I will hopefully begin to get back on schedule with everything else. Starting with make-up entries for both FtL and 500 Words A Day. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
| FtL #1 "Invalid Entry" objurgate pretty much states my opinion. Just because you can, doesn't mean you should. And the digital camera is just one of the examples which could have been used. Having technology does not necessarily equate to having skill or talent to produce "art". These are ideas that I have long held... personally. However, I am one of those people who are "cursed" with the ability to easily see both sides of most given situations. Sometimes too easily. The other side of the coin in this instance is because the technology is there, it allows people to do things they may not otherwise be able to do - or have the interest in doing - because of long complicated steps in which a simple error could ruin the whole process. How many people have lost whole rolls of film because the camera case unexpectedly popped open, or they personally opened the case before the roll was fully rewound into its cylinder? How many precious memory shots were ruined because of double exposure or overlapping exposures? The sun or other light source glaring into the lens at just the wrong angle? Or any number of other potential problems that one did not know how to correct. The emotions of disappointment, frustration, and (sometimes) devastation which are avoided because of the technological improvements make these wonders worth whatever price one paid for that little piece of electronics. Yet it is these prior emotions regarding the failure to capture a particular moment effectively which is also the downfall of many who take advantage of modern day contraptions. Because one no longer (or very rarely) experiences the possibility of failure when taking a picture, for example, one's ego is artificially inflated to a point of exaggeration which is ridiculous for others to behold. Still, because there are fewer instances of bad photography (in regards to exposure) out there, the quality of those with real talent can only go up. Which means that those of us without an inflated sense of our own ability at photography can have better pictures at which to marvel and truly appreciate ~ when it finally comes along. There is one man who is in both my church choir and handbell choir who is a marvelous architect and designer. By comparison, he barely has a lick of musical ability. Oh, he can sing, he has an ear for most pitches and can read music - at least note-wise. But he has no sense of dynamics, little understanding of musical notation, and practically refuses to learn to read handbell notation and the better and proper ways to ring a bell. While almost everyone I know in both music groups complains about all of these failings of his, we all have come to appreciate his spirit and dedication to keep plugging along. No one wants to sit next to him when singing or ringing, but we couldn't see either of these groups without him. And we are all willing to help him along and learn. We appreciate him without having to appreciate his musical ability - or lack thereof. |
| The title comes from a Simon and Garfunkle song that began rolling through my mind. Mind you, I could only recall the first three words. But they just wouldn't let go of me until I pinned down their source. So what brought about the repeated phrase of "Time, time, time...."? Read on. I'm watching the early evening news right now and they are covering hurricane preparedness and evacuation especially from Galveston Island, High Island, and Bolivar Peninsula. Two things brought this up: the development of Bertha into a category 3 hurricane, and memories of Hurricane Rita evacuation of the Gulf Coast nearly three years ago. Three Years?! It can't be that long ago already. Or is it so little time ago? I began to wonder what happened to all that time. Where did it go? How could I have experienced so much since that event? Three concert seasons come and gone. Grammy taken to a nursing home and dying of natural causes. A nephew dying of a rapidly advanced melanoma. Moving into my own place after six years of living with others. Two new jobs. All the new friendships, and the passing of a couple others. The ambiguity of the speed of time is mind boggling. The only real fear I have of growing older is the reported and experienced apparent speeding up of time. Time seemed to go so much slower when I was younger. Now, the past forty years seems to have almost sped by. And I don't even have kids to visually verify it.  I'm rambling again, ain't I? |
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