This is the only day we have - what will we choose to do with it? This is the day!

I need to exercise more, eat better, forget the past, start today to live for the future!

My back hurts today - I bent over to take the garbage out and my back fought back! So today I am moving slowly as it hurts - if I exercise will my back hurt more or less??

I am hoping less - I am going to order an exercise machine low impact to hopefully help me get back on track and make this the "first day of the rest of my life"! OK that last bit is not original with me - but it fits.

I am trying to take one day at a time - to see how things go. If something does not change soon - my little one will have her first away visit - court ordered and it scares me. We do not know anything about the person the mom is living with now - only that he has been in trouble and has changed his name! Doesn't that inspire confidence!?!

Please I ask all of you to keep my little one in your prayers! Please ask God to keep her wrapped in his loving, protecting arms! I may be over reacting - but I am so afraid that harm is going to come to this litte one! She is so sweet and intelligent, such a loving little child!

So this is the day - for me to exercise more, eat better, and try to trust God more!

I hope you all have a super day and week. I am still planning to edit the things I have on this site - I need to take the ones off and edit and repost.

Take care and God Bless all!
Keep Writing
LW
 

Well this has been a full day - first getting our little one off to school.

Getting my work done - people tend to like to get paid in a regular manner! So I did payroll - my microsoft outlook is having trouble today - will not let me send emails - I can get them in - just not send. This is a problem since I work from home and email is how I do all of my business! I guess if it is not working tomorrow I will have to call and talk to my boss.

In the middle of all of this I get a phone call from a certain person that I never talk to so she left a voice mail message - telling me what she is allowed to do and not to do - of course she has not read the court orders correctly and has it all wrong. So I sent an email to our attorney and to the school. All in all she just likes to mess with my head. She likes to make my life miserable - and I have to admit that a lot of the time I fall for it and let her make me miserable! I am becoming more aware - and trying to maintain my sanity when dealing with her.

Please keep us and our little one in your prayers!

I made a nice if simple dinner tonight and everyone enjoyed it - now if the dishes would just wash themselves!!

Well I had better go and get the little one into the bath and then to bed.

I hope everyone had a really nice day and that you all have a super week.

Thanks for reading and Keep Writing
LW
 

Well this weekend was visitation weekend and I am so mad and upset it is not funny! I will not go into a lot of detail only to say that some people do not care whether a child is happy or sad! They only care about themselves and to hell with the rest!

We work very hard to keep this child well and happy and all she could do was try to make her unhappy!

This child is sick again - not sick enough to stay out of school - but I have to watch it. Sent a note to the school nurse to give the breathing treatments this week.

How was your Halloween? Our little one went to a Halloween birthday party and took first place for costume! She was "Dorothy". Then we went to church for a carnival and "trunk or treating". She had a lot of fun - but her cough got worse so we came home.

Thanksgiving is coming - is everybody ready?? We are going to have dinner with our son and daughter n law and her family. We will see how this turns out. We have to stay in a hotel - which I don't mind. I don't know her family so we will see. I am not snobby I just don't function well around large crowds of people - not even my own family reunions - I tend to stay kind of quiet.

Christmas is right around the corner! I am not ready! This has been a very fast year! My Dad always said that the older you get - the faster time goes! He was so right!

Well I had better get myself to work. I hope you all have a super day!

Thanks for reading and leaving feedback!

Keep Writing
LW
 

Normally I really like Friday's - but today I have to clean house that I have not been able to get to all week - kitchen - laundry etc. The house has to be clean because this weekend is court ordered visitation and she might just try to use a dirty house against me.

I don't understand how homes get so dirty in just a few days!!! I would love to hire someone to come in and clean for me - but thats not going to happen anytime soon!

My dentist appointment was ok - nice people - and without insurance its going to cost $4500 to fix 4 teeth!! Well I guess we do what we have to do!

I feel like I am falling apart!! 60 years old and it feels like 160! I guess part of that is my fault - not taking as good care of myself as I should have - kind of let myself go - now I have to fix teeth, loose weight, and take care of a problem that cannot be mentioned here.

I used to exercise everyday - I ate healthy - most of the time - and then it all just started going down hill. I lost so much weight at one time that people were beginning to worry about me for being too skinny!

I guess the last 10 or 11 years have been pretty hard on me. My dad died with Lukemia in 1998 he was such a special person to me it's hard to put into words - the last year of his life was so hard on him and so very painful to watch! Yet he NEVER complained! The last day he was alive - I bent down beside his hospital bed to pick something up off the floor and I looked at him from the corner of my eye and I saw angels hovering over him! They were there with him so I know the escorted him home. He is with Jesus I have no doubt - but I miss him so - they say it gets better - and I don't cry anymore - but I miss him so! He has come to me on several occassions in my dreams in times of stress - maybe I will write about those some day.

My mom died in 2001 from Parkinsons and congestive heart failue. She and I were not what I would call close - I felt like all my life she resented me for some reason. Some times with her were good and some were bad. She taught us well - there were 4 of us kids and she and dad earned every gray hair they had! We were not "bad" kids but we were not angels either! She was in my sisters nursing home for the last two years of her life - my sister was/is the administrator so I know she recieved good care. The last two weeks my sister and I took turns staying with her in the hospital - it was hard watching her slowly drift away from us. I told her that she had been a good mother to me and she had been a good wife to dad. I finally told her it was ok to turn loose and go home to Heaven - that we were going to be fine here until we could meet again. My mom was a Christian - she had accepted Christ as her Savior and really always tried to live for Him. She taught us that too. I sang all of her favorite hymns to her those last two weeks. I have/had a decent voice and people would comment if they heard me how pretty it was. They did not understand that I was singing her soul to heaven - for me anyway that was what I was doing. I like to read the "...Cave Bear" series of books by Jean M. Auel about our earliest Native ancestors. It has stayed with me how they would sing the soul to heaven - now I don't believe that singing makes the soul go to heaven but it is such a nice thought! I don't sing much now and I miss it.

My sister n law/best friend's mother died a few years later - she was like a second mom to me - she was in Connecticut so I could not spend time with her. My sister n law took it hard! She was so close to her mother!

We have always had some sort of touble with my step daughter/husbands adoptive daughter. A troubled kid and councellng etc did not help in anyway - she married several times ending in disaster. Two children from different fathers - one is 18 now and I hope will soon get his life together - but as sad as it is to say - I don't hold out much hope for that. The other child is our little angel here on earth. We have raised her since birth - she has never lived away from us - last year I found out that the mom was planning to come take her away to live the same kind of life she did! She had no place to live - was buming from one couch to another. So we hired an attorney and we have managed to gain custody of her. It was not an easy battle and for the last year and a half - has been hell on earth! But this child - we will fight to the end for her.

You will find a poem about our granddaughter on this site and a poem about how I feel now. I really don't know how I feel now - sometimes my heart feels like it is a stone - I had to turn it to stone in order to save this child from the fate of her brother! Now I don't know if it will ever soften and return to normal. I really do love my step daughter - but I can't allow those feelings to rule what happens to this child. All these years I thought that my step daughter loved me - we would have our disagreements sure - but I really thought she loved me - now I know the hard truth about that - and it is so hard.

Well this started out on cheery note and has turned into this - sometimes when I write it takes on a life of it's own and I don't know where it is going to end.

I really do have to get up and get busy doing what I need to - I promised our little one that when she came home today from school - we would make Halloween candy!! So I have to be prepared!!!!!

I hope all of you are having a good day and maybe I will write more later.

God Bless all of you take care of each other and smile even when you don't want too!

Keep Writing
LW


 

Well nothing great today - I have a DENTIST appointment! Xrays and exaim THEN how much its going to cost to fix my teeth! I hate the dentist, I hate going, and I don't have dental insurance so it is going to cost a fortune!!

Then I get to drive to the Northwest side of town - about an hours drive for work.

Lovely day planned!

Hope yours is much better!!

Talk later!
LW
 

Well nothing great today - I have a DENTIST appointment! Xrays and exaim THEN how much its going to cost to fix my teeth! I hate the dentist, I hate going, and I don't have dental insurance so it is going to cost a fortune!!

Then I get to drive to the Northwest side of town - about an hours drive for work.

Lovely day planned!

Hope yours is much better!!

Talk later!
LW
 

Well I did not make it up in time to get to church this morning. I stayed up too late on the computer! But I did get an article posted "Christian". I hope you will take a few minutes to read it.

It is a glorious morning - sunshine here a little cool.

Just wanted to say good morning to everyone and to say Keep Writing.
LW
 

Well I did it - I finally posted a piece called what it means to me to be a "Christian". I will most likely be posting more with this same idea. This was the third one and I just wrote it. I'm not sure it says everything that I want it to. So there will probably be more coming.

Thanks again to the person or persons who upgraded my account - I plan to make good use of it.

Keep Writing
Lazy Writer
 

THANK YOU! to whoever up graded my account! I really appreciate it and will try to write/post more and to read/review more.

I really enjoy this site - and I am always surprised when someone likes what I write - I guess that is my insecurities showing.

I love to read what others have written - I really am not that good at reviewing - most of the time I really like what I read and can't find any room for improvement.

Thanks again to whoever did this for me - it has made my day!
Lazy Writer
 

Well it has been several weeks since I wrote anything hear. Maybe I just don't have enought discipline - I don't know. Life has been tough this last year or so and I am finding it difficult to focus just on writing.

With the custody issue behind us - I thought that I would write more - I have written a couple of things nothing major. I have to learn to deal with the visitation issue - that is hard!

Now I have to find another job - this one is slowing way down and the boss has cut hours drastically. I really don't want to start over - but Iwill have no choice - my husband was laid off the first of the year and has not found work.

I keep trying not to take it back from God and just leave it there - but I always worry about it - so I keep giving it back to God!

I hope all of you are having good days and are being blessed by God! We are even if I don't always see it!

Thanks to all who read!
Keep Writing
LW
 

Well I have been very sad and depressed lately - my new poem just posted tells a little about it.

I am going to try to gain some ground back by writing again. I just wrote this one while waiting for my Jenny to get out of school. I feel better. So I will try again with something else.

I am also going to try to correct the Penelope stories. I have received so much helpful advice on how to do this - I haven't forgotten just have not been able to do it.

Please keep me in your prayers - that is how I manage to get thru each day!

God Bless you all,

Lazy Writer
Trying to turn "Lazy" into "Busy"!
 

Good Morning Everyone

I hope that you are all having a wonderful weekend!

Take care of each other.

LW
 

Well today is my birthday! I am 60 years old - some days I feel it and some days I don't!

We are going to celebrate by taking our granddaughter to Moody Gardens. She will love that and so will I.

I received a phone call from my sister and roses from my husband!

My granddaughter made me a necklass of beads.

Hope you all have a good day and weekend!

LW
 

Hello Everyone,

Isn't God Good? I hope you can say yes! It isn't always easy to understand His ways - but then God's ways are not our ways!

As I said God was with us during the final hearing for custody of our Granddaughter - we were named "Sole Managing Conservators" that is wonderful! I just can't praise His name enough!

I am though having a hard time forgetting all that was said during the hearing from our granddaughters mother. I have loved her since she was 3 1/2 years old and it was very hard to sit and listen to how very much she hates me! If I make myself look at it without emotion - I can see it over all the years - I just chose not to believe it. Now I have to make myself believe it and try to continue to do what is best for our little granddaughter!

I am not mad or angry with her - hurt is more the word - and I have to figure out how to forgive her and move on. I also have to learn how to pray for her again. God said we have to pray for those who try to destroy us - He did not give us an easy task!

Writing about all of this does help - I will be making myself write more - I have several pieces that I want to post after I get them down.

Another thing that helps is I write letters to God - I keep them in the computer - dated - like a journal. I talk to Him like I talk to anyone - He knows my heart and thoughts anyway - you cannot hide from Him - so I tell Him what I think and how I am feeling. Sometimes He answers me with thoughts that just pop up - others I just feel better.

Well I had better close and get to work - I hope you all have a very safe and Blessed day!

LW
 

Hello to All - Praise God!

Our final custody hearing for our granddaughter was this last week and we finally got the judges final orders! We have been named Sole Managing Conservaters of our granddaughter!

The mother still gets to visit but it is in graduated increments and it is all contengent on clean drug tests!

We were so scared and worried - (the devil - you know) - but God took care of it all! I know He will take care of any visitation issues too!

It has been a long and hard year for us - but God has been there through it all even if I could not always see it. We have Vacation Bible School in two weeks then I think I will be able to start writing again - I have several things going on in my mind - and I want to get it on paper before I loose it!

Well that is about all for now I am supposed to be working!

God is an awsome God,
Keep Writing
LW
 

I want to thank all who held us up in prayer!

We have maintained custody of our granddaughter! Now it is the issue of visitation. The judge will review all the evidence and make her decision.

I know it is HIS hands.

Thank you so much!
LW
 

Hello Everyone,

It has been really difficult to focus on writing of any sort lately.

We have a major trial on Monday (7/6) - and a childs life hangs in the balance.

Please pray for us.
 

To everyone on this site who believes in God or in a Higher Power - Please keep us in your prayers! We meet with our attorney today - it is an extremely important case. I will fill in the details when it is over.

Please pray for us!
Lazy Writer
 

Well today I had to go to meet with my employer - I work from home - and on the way I was listening to a radio talk show - one my husband likes - and I learned about something that bothers me.

I have not heard it on the news channels and I wonder why - in Arkansas at a Recruting Station - two new privates were gunned down - one was killed - I do not know the whole story - but I wonder why it was not in the news.

What have we as a nation turned into? The media will report on singing celebs, moms with lots of kids, so why not report the murder of a young soldier? I am sure the family would like to know - I do!

Well I had better close I will keep this family in my prayers - I hope you will too!

Keep Writing
Lazy Writer
 

I hope everyone has a great day today. I am taking the time to read and write a little here. I am doing laundry and playing with my granddaughter.

I also just learned some more things about this site. I thank those that were of help to me. Thank you all for reading my writing.

My poems about God just come to me when I am listening! to HIM! I can't write these on my own - the words just don't come.

I am still working on the one about being a christian - but it sorta took a turn of its own and has turned into something else! So I am still working!

Thanks for reading - have a super day!

Lazy Writer