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I have been having one of those weeks. I have been weepy and stressed out all week. I think yesterday was the worst day that I had in the week. I keep having recurring nightmares the past few months. They always seem to occur around the time PMS sets in for the month, and sometimes I get them on the first or second day of my period. My hormones must be the culprit behind them. Being under tons of stress doesn't help either. Most of my nightmares are full of darkness and completely black. The first nightmare I had was in late February. I was laying in bed, and I saw this dark figure come up behind me, he grabbed me and tried to asphyxiate me. I tried to let out a scream, but nothing came out of my mouth. It was pure silence. I knew it was a dream, and I tried to wake up and force my eyes open, but my brain kept me trapped inside the dream. The second dream I had was the second week of March. In this dream I saw a little toy dog barking at me. I turned the other way, then looked back at the dog, but the dog had turned into this large vicious dog with huge teeth that was barking and snarling at me. I couldn't get out of that dream either. I was about to start crying and screaming, until my guy friend texted me. The chime from my phone broke the dream and I was able to snap out of it. Then I had another dream yesterday morning, that practically paralyzed me. I can't remember what the dream was about, but I felt suffocated. I tried to open my eyes, but my body wouldn't let me. I remember screaming and crying because I was frustrated that I couldn't open my eyes. I was trapped in complete darkness and couldn't escape. Later on that day, I prayed to God to release me from these horrible dreams. I also asked him for a sign that these horrible dreams would cease. I had another dream lastnight, but this time it wasn't a nightmare. It was actually quite strange. In the dream, I was fretting over a sore that I had....I thought it was something major, but then I got another look at it, and it was just a harmless blister. I think that God was just telling me that I have been fretting and worrying over things that aren't serious, and that everything will work out to my advantage, and I will find my way in life. I admit that I have been worrying a lot about things lately, and these things might be the cause of my nightmares. I think the lack of exercise, sleep, and being overwhelmed with everything else has caused all of my troubles. I have started eating right again, and exercising almost everyday, and have been getting more sleep. I suppose that it's going to take awhile longer to get my body as a whole back on track. Hopefully, the nightmares will stop, too.
I have been having issues with my cat, Max. He has been improperly defecating outside of the litter box since October. It has gotten worse. I've had him at the vet, and found out that he has two chronic conditions; Inflammatory Bowel Disease and Herpes Viral Infection of the eye. Lovely, huh? I can give him eye ointment that helps a little. I also have him on Prednisone for the IBD, but if I want to treat his eyes, I would have to put him on Interferons. I am not sure how much longer I can care for a chronically ill cat. It's too expensive to keep up with. It seems more expensive to take care of a sick cat, than it does to take care of a sick human. That's just ridiculous. I think Max being sick is getting to me and causing a lot of the stress.
On another note, I have been having issues with an old man downstairs that plays his music too loud at night. I don't mind that he listens to music, I just wish he would keep it low enough that I can fall asleep and not wake up from the noise. My friend who was in town visiting his family stayed over night with me, he heard the noise and told me that I should call the cops on the guy. My guy friend also battles with insomnia like I do, only his is worse than mine. He gave me one of his sleeping pills, and we both fell asleep at the same time. A couple weeks ago, I called the cops on him. Doing that made it stop for a few days, but now he's back at it again. This gives me the impression that the old coot doesn't give a shit about the feelings of other people. I filed a report a week before my friend came into town, and the leasing manager said he would talk to him. I told them which apartment it was coming from, and they said an old man lived down there, and had a hard time believing that an old man would listen to loud music that late at night. I told him that the music is being played between the hours of 10 pm & 7 am, these are also the hours that you are supposed to keep noise at a minimum and not disturb the peace of others. If I have to call the cops so many times that the old fool gets evicted, it won't be my problem. Since the leasing office won't do anything about it, I have to take a stand and get his ass thrown out. The law doesn't recognize age as a factor to get away with anything a person damn well pleases! Although, some people believe they are royalty and should get away with anything including murder.
I just wish I could break the lease without penalty and move the hell out of here. I am miserable here, and want out. When I renewed my lease, I should have just signed up for a six month term or month to month. I guess I can get a temporary job and save up enough money to break the lease, save up for a new place, and save up enough money to do the moving. This complex has so many issues, and the people who live here are trashy and ghetto. Not only that, there always seems to be a hornet infestation outdoors every spring and summer, and some find their way into my apartment. I am not sure how they get in, but they do. I live on the very top floor, and rarely open my window and screened balcony door because of the nasty smokers who live in my building. I wish I could find a complex that has non-smoking buildings, so I don't have to be tortured by their disgusting habit.
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