i can say fuck and shit and cunt all i want right?
if i cant too bad. kick me off this fucking site.
im sick of writing anyway. time for me to grow up and become more responsible. after all im legally an adult in three months.
im sick of the stupid cunts giving me shit all the time coz i dont want to be anything more than a published author.
they can suck my cock for all i care...
 

pretty sure my membership is almost over and this blog will be deleted. whatever. i dont really care. not even sure i wanna write on here anymore
 

fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
...ok im good now. laters
 

i touched a guitar for the first time in a long time yesterday and i immediately felt that rush when i fingered the strings.
music has been a huge part of my life for years and ive only just discovered the lyrical wonder that is bob dylan.
it seems you either love him or you dont. i feel that everyone can find meaning to their life in a bob dylan song if you just listen to the words. sure he isnt the greatest singer to walk the earth but the way he writes...
i watched im not there the other day and i was kind of confused. maybe i missed the entire point of the movie. it had six different actors playing him and none of their names was bob...there was a robbie (played by heath ledger) but that was it.
anyways. im thinking of making my way across the country to the west coast. a girl i met lives over there and she seems to have fallen for me. kinda didnt want that but hey, what can you do. ill see her for a few weeks then move on.
the road is lonely but full of opportunities. im thinkin of buying a dog from the pound so i have a companion on my travels. might name him b.d
 

is it just me or is a man's (or woman's) dreams in life the same as the horizon? no matter how hard you try or how far you go you never get any closer.
and the only thing keeping you going is when the sun comes up each morning turning the sky pink...

that's all for the day
 

i crossed the border between new south wales and queensland the other day. i was amazed at how utterly anti-climactic (climatic?) it was. all thats there is a little sign saying "Welcome to Queensland". Really no different to stepping into another suburb. I stepped over the "border" and looked back, wondering when i would see my home state again.
found a nice little library on the coast with internet access. the middle-aged lady knew i wasnt a local so i liked this place immediately. everyone knew everyone.
i came on WDC to email hal and let her know how i was going and now i hear the distant sound of the waves crashing down onto the rocks. the sun shines through the window beside me, bathing me in light.
i might go and write on a little bench i passed down the road. the first thing i will write in my new journal...I-AM-FREE.
 

what if a guy decided to quit his job, withdraw all his money from his bank account and just live the life of a nomad?
just adopt a different name and trek the country.
i just want to be free...to write stories about the people i meet on the road, the untold stories but i also dont want to stay in the same place any longer than a month. otherwise i may start to get attached or tied down.
ive been slowly planning my getaway and my plans are almost complete.
still there are times when i feel im being watched. like someone has figured out what i want to do. i get all paranoid and jumpy. soon...i'll be gone soon. i want to say goodbye to stephanie grace, kitty nadem and hal. you're all great girls and i wish you all the best. i love the three of you and ill carry our talks in my head as i put one foot in front of the other and walk towards my destiny.
 

it seems as humans we always want something different. if you are single you want a partner and if you have a partner you want to be single.
also if its summer you wish it was winter and vice versa. it's the way the doctor made us.
im just rambling...
i been doing a lot of thinking lately. i went from being able to write freely to feeling nauseated as soon as i try to write a story. even now i feel slightly sick. i went from having no one intersted in my writing to having you people on here asking for more and my family on my back for more stories after my dad found something id been working on.
maybe i should quit everything. sporting teams, work...WDC...and just leave. go live somewhere where i know no one, there's no technology, i can just be me...
 

at work
monday morning
my only company is a carton of strawberry milk.
weekend...weekend...nothing much happened. o wait, i went to the football. sydney won 112 to 108. awesome game. then i crashed at my mates place for the night. all i did yesterday was wach movies and come up with an idea for a movie with a friend. i never realised how good a movie i am sam is...
 

yeh i just got dumped by tobi...through a text message...
she was telling me if i wanted to break up with her to be with someone else that she would be fine with that. i didnt want to. then she said we were over.
ive been trying to call her but she either rejects my calls or gets someone to answer saying she doesnt wanna talk.
pretty down right now.