Well... it's been a while and so much has happened. I will go into greater detail later, but in the last month, my father died suddenly, my adoptive father was almost killed in a motorcycle accident two weeks later. The next day my best friend/adoptive sister got married and moved away, and about three weeks later, the son of one of my best friends died in Iraq. Two weeks after that, I met my cousin for the first time... she's 45 and I'm 42! The week my father passed away her father was diagnosed with the same thing my dad had!

In other news... I've almost finished my daughter's wedding dress... her wedding will be September 12. We have found almost all of the antique vases, candy dishes, and the matching punch bowl. Now to finish the table arrangements. I have one last candle lamp to win on ebay and it ends in less than an hour.

Once I finish the dress... next week... my husband wants to paint our bedroom, get a new mattress, and prepare a guest room in the basement so we can take care of additional out of town guests for the wedding.

Lots of work still lies ahead and I am just not emotionally prepared at the moment to do much of anything but sit here and stare at the walls.

More to come...
 

I've noticed a few things in the past couple of weeks. As the economy has gotten worse, the news on TV has gotten worse also. Shootings, violence, domestic violence, theft, robbery, etc have all increased. They say people are breaking into cars parked on the streets of St. Louis to get the small amount of pocket change visible in the cup holder. I've heard several reports of fathers shooting their children and then themselves because of the hopelessness and depression they feel at not being able to provide for their family.

I worried for a while about some of my favorite places:

Mannino's Market in Cottleville with its three aisles of groceries, fruits and vegetables, single glass bakery counter, and fresh meats and butcher counter.

Ami's Italian Eatery where you can get an enormous Manhattan-style pizza, enough to feed five hungry adults, for just $19.00!

El Azteca, the little Mexican restaurant nearby which is run by a Mexican immigrant who has taken his family's recipes and created a wonderful little place where you can listen to Mexican folk music, enjoy a beautiful atmosphere, and enjoy authentic Mexican dishes prepared with care.

Instead of being worried, though, I've noticed a shift in people's attitudes toward a stronger feeling of community. Where once people frequented large national chain stores and restaurants, I've seen small, local eateries, corner grocery stores, and family-owned bakeries and butcher shops, including my favorites listed above, doing more business than ever.

Drive past Mannino's market and you'll be hard-pressed to find a spot to park. Their small lot offers 15-20 parking spaces, but you can frequently see people circling the block waiting for one to open up.

Call Ami's for a pizza, even on a Tuesday evening, and they'll ask you to give them at least 45 minutes before you come to pick it up because they're so busy. When you get there, the restaurant is usually jammed with people enjoying food, conversation, and community.

Stop for lunch or dinner at El Azteca and you'll probably have to wait for a table to open up.

Not only are people frequenting these small businesses on a more regular basis. While they are there, they're speaking to other people. Conversations cross the aisles as people at different tables strike up conversations. It may begin with "What did you order?" or "Have you ever tried ...?" These little discussions then move on to local news topics, how your family has been touched by the economy, etc. At the grocery store, women share food-stretching recipes and money-saving coupon sources while their husbands exchange work information in hopes of networking for car pools and job leads or barter their skills and services for others in return.

People in my area are walking more, and as they do, they stop to talk to others they passs or those sitting on their porch enjoying the warming spring weather. Neighbors are helping each other and sharing rides to work, school, and errands. There's talk of a neighborhood family fun day, seed sharing, a coupon exchange, and even a community vegetable garden.

The simple things are coming to the fore once again and life is slowing down as more people are staying home and enjoying family time and over-the-fence chit chat.

These are just a few of my observations. If that's what happening here where I live, I often wonder if it is happening elsewhere, too. Have you noticed similar changes where you live? I'd love to hear from you if you have.
 

With factory closings, lay-offs, government-provided service cut-backs, and all of the other bad news that is being reported concerning the economy, one local channel here in St. Louis decided to feature good news. Here are a few inspiring stories I've heard recently that show how much of a difference a little fellow-feeling can have.

An elderly gentleman was interviewed. He was a doctor and had been cutting back the hours of his practice; he was well past the age of retirement but continued practicing because so many of his patients had come to him all or most of their lives. He decided, however, that no one in his town should suffer physical harm because they cannot afford medical treatment or have no insurance. He has reopened his doors and, for free, treats all those who come to him, insurance or not. When medication is needed, he helps out however he can, using his own money and donations made by patients who are able to give even a small amount.

A hospital in the area needed to cut millions of dollars from their operating budget. The first employees that would be layed off included housekeeping, food service, patient transport, and technicians whose job it was to keep items stocked on every floor. Not wanting to see any of their colleagues, even in these non-medical positions lose their jobs, all of the employees banded together and offered to give up paid vacation time, overtime pay, and fully-paid benefits so the money saved could be put back into the budget and used to keep these others working. The hospital was able to keep every one of these staff members working and cut more from their budget than they had needed to at the beginning. As the economy improves, those who gave up benefits, etc. will regain them, of course, but their generousity kept hundreds of their fellow-employees from being sent to the unemployment office.

A local veterinary clinic provides free and low-cost treatments and shots for residents of their town so families do not have to give up their pets because of being unable to afford their care. This has saved hundreds of families the heartache of losing a beloved animal friend, and it has kept all of those animals from being sent to the shelter where they would likely be put to sleep if not adopted soon after their arrival.

My husband and his colleagues, not wanting to see any of their fellow-workers layed off due to budget cuts offered to take on a four-day work week at 80% of their pay so all of them could continue working.

Many local restaurants donate leftover food to local food pantries and shelters. My daughter works at St. Louis Bread Company (Panera Bread Company elsewhere in the nation) and they donate large amounts of bread each week so it doesn't go to waste. It is amazing, though, that they are not allowed to donate bread items that are already sliced. These items are offered to the employees but many of them refuse. My daughter, hating to see food go to waste, brings home whatever is left and distributes it to family, friends, and neighbors. It may not be much, but every little bit helps these days.


 

Gosh, it seems like forever since I've been here writing. Let's see... I am still hurting over the September car accident but improving a bit everyday... I think.

Dad's hip surgery went well but his nursing home rehab experience was a nightmare that will soon be the source for many stories to come. His progress is still quite slow and with the dementia it's hard to get through to him that he needs to cooperate and stop resisting the therapy we are doing for him. Anyone know some good relaxation techniques? He keeps his muscles so rigid all the time that it's like trying to flex a steel rod to do his leg workouts, and with my own hip and shoulder isses from the accident, I just can't be exerting that much pressure.

I hope to be back on a regular basis now... I have to go and buy some GP's to finish out the amount I need to upgrade my membership! I thought I'd earn enough through activities and review contests but got sidetracked by LIFE!

Hello to all of my friends and I'll see you around the site!
 

"Age is strictly a case of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter." - Jack Benny

Saturday I went to a gathering. A friend of mine was there and her parents were there with her. My husband met them first; I had stopped to speak with my daughter and son-in-law. As I approached my husband a moment later, he and my friend's mother were laughing. Tim introduced me to Katherine.

She extended her hand and explained that Tim had just pointed out our eldest daughter across the room. I turned to look at my Heather and she said, "No, no. I thought you were his eldest daughter! You just don't look old enough to have children old enough to drive, let alone married and moved out!"

I smiled and blushed. "I guess it's just a testiment to how well my husband has taken care of me over the years."

We both laughed and Tim squeezed my hand.

During the evening I'd catch her eyes on me and I'd smile. "Tanya," I said to my friend later, "why does your mother keep looking at me like that?"

"She just can't believe you're over 40; she can't believe you're over 30. She thought you were 25 at the most when she saw you at first."

"I can show her my driver's license," I offered with a smile.

Tanya laughed. "No, don't worry about it. She just can't get over how great you look for having three grown children!"

As I walked away, I laughed as I recalled my apprehension that evening. My father-in-law had been over from 11:30 am - 4:45 pm. He always comes on Saturday to have lunch with the family. As soon as he left we rushed to get ready and were out of the house before 5pm. I had wanted to fix my hair and put on a little make up but I'd never had an opportunity. I changed my clothes, ran a brush through my hair and pulled the top back in a pretty barrette; there wasn't much else I could do. During the five minutes it took to drive to the party, I put on a little lip gloss and told myself it didn't matter. We were all friends and everyone would understand if I didn't look my best. My father had been in the hospital all week and had gone home Friday night, only to fall out of bed Saturday morning. They'd understand; it didn't matter. I felt old, weary, and exhausted; thank goodness for Katherine.

"Mind over matter... if you don't mind, it doesn't matter." I've decided it doesn't matter and no one else seems to mind.

 

"Man's mind, once stretched by a new idea, never regains its original dimensions."
Oliver Wendell Holmes (1809 - 1894)

I've happened upon several new ideas of late and wholeheartedly agree with the statement above. Once I have an idea, I try everything in my power to make it work. If it's an art project, I experiment with materials, combine things I'd never imagined to create something new, different, and exciting. If it's a work of writing, I try new phrasing, various word combinations, rhythms, or expressions until I'm happy with the results. In new recipes, I explor the world's selection of spices, textures, colors, and flavors, using all past experiences to merge the best into something new and wonderful.

Industry, science, technology, medicine... all of the advances we see in the modern age are variations on a theme. Man has thought of something, share the idea with others, and together, through years of thought, trial, failure, and diligent continuation and perpetuation of the dream, finally reached success. So many of today's everyday technologies began with an idea, years of thought, trials that failed yet suceeded just enough to keep the idea alive and growing. Automobiles, computers, telephones, television, cell phones, medical technology... all of these wonderful inventions and discoveries began with an idea that tugged at the corner of someone's mind, pulling and stretching the boundaries of the imagination. Once that seed was planted, the idea took root and became firmly established, demanding attention and urging the thinker on until the idea became a reality.

True, my artistic, literary, and culinary pursiuts have little impact on the world, but the same principle applies. Once I have an idea in my head, only a disaster of gargantuan proportions will stand in the way of my making it a reality, and even then, I will wonder if I could try it another way, do something different at one stage or another, and actually make it work. Days, weeks, months, or even years may pass before I try it again. It's hard to let go of an idea, once formulated, without trying to make it work.

Today, my idea is that I want to paint my bedroom this week, so I have a lot of work ahead of me. Hopefully this is an idea that will prove successful the first time and won't have to be repeated for some time. If not, it's only paint and what can be painted once can be painted again... which reminds me of yesterday's prompt: "If you think you fail, fail gloriously." Funny how the two seem so closely related.

 

"If you think you fail, fail gloriously." --Anonymous

I have always tried to do my best at everything I do. I've always taught my children the same philosophy, as I think we all do. If something is worth doing, it is worth putting some effort into it to do it well.

In the end, however, it is a rare thing to succeed at everything we do. Therefore, if you always give a task your best you can be proud of the result, even if it is less than perfect. A failure which shows the diligent effort put into trying to succeed s much more glorious than a failure that shows one could have tried hard, done better, and achieved a higher quality of workmanship.

In giving my best, I can always be proud that I've done all I was able to do. Doing so comes with no regrets but gives peace of mind and satisfaction. Having learned from my experience, the next time I do the task, I may do even better.

"If you think you fail, fail gloriously." Try hard, do your best, and even if you don't meet the goal of perfection, you'll have a result to be proud of.


 

I hear about so many ways automated services make life easier, faster, and more enjoyable for people, but sometimes I have to wonder.

When's the last time you spoke to an actual person when you called a customer service number? Did the recording have all the answers you needed? Would you have been a little more confident and secure in the service you were getting if you knew it was being given by a breathing, thinking, human? I would.

We have self-check lines, ATM's, pay-at-the-pump service, mail-order and online catalog sites... You used to make a purchase and get a warm handshake and a "Thank you for your business. Have a nice day." Now you get an email that tells you about your order. To me, these 'advancements' were the beginning of the age of robot workers, at least in the sector of the population I live in.

Now there are machines that build cars, electronic devices, and all manner of products. Yes, they need humans to program them for their job and fix them when they break down, but it takes far fewer workers than doing it by hand. This means the loss of jobs for many. Machines were supposed to make things easier, but for whom? They don't make life easier for the person who gets laid off and replaced by the machine. They have to go out and find a new job, wonder where they'll work, how they'll pay the mortgage, and how they'll feed their family. And what about all of the peripheral jobs that are affected?

Where I live, there are several automobile manufacturing plants. Even with machines, they employ thousands of people in the area. When the machines made it possible to run the plant with fewer human workers, surrounding businesses also suffered. Restaurants and shops closed because their customer base dwindled. They had thrived because workers would frequent them before or after work or stop in during their lunch break. When many of these workers were put out of work, business dropped off significantly.

Once out of work, the amount these ones spend at other stores and supermarkets also diminishes. You can't buy groceries without money. You can't buy shoes for your children, school supplies, or other products, either. Exactly who benefited from the machines?

I've heard there is technology in the works that will allow a doctor anywhere in the world to operate on a patient somewhere else. They say it will revolutionize medical care, making the best doctors and surgeons available to everyone without the ill or injured person having to travel the world to reach them. How does it work? There is a robot in the operating room linked to a computer. The doctor does 'virtual surgery' on the screen and his moves are mimicked by the robot on the patient. I don't think I'd like that very much. The popularity of email, online chat, and text messaging have made people impersonal enough. Do we really need robots doing operations? What would happen if the power went out?

Robots, I'm sure, are useful for many tasks, but I don't think artificial intelligence can beat the human brain when it comes to spur of the moment, spontaneous solutions to unexpected problems that may arise.

Robots and humans... I think I'm just as happy to leave that relationship to science fiction for now.
 

Auctions, raffles, and merit badges... these are three things I love about my WDC experience.

Auctions and raffles allow me to bid on something I want. When random reviews are running dry and I need a fresh eye to view my work, auctions provide a way for me to draw in a new reader and learn from their perspective on my work. In my writing, I strive to get better, offer a fuller picture of the world I create with my words, and invite the reader to come in and experience the wonders of that place. When they share their perspective, even if I've paid them with points for their review through an auction, I feel that all of my hard work has been reciprocated through the reader telling me of the thoughts, feelings, and past experiences drawn out as they read. Knowing how different ones relate to what I've written helps me to make the next item that much better, that much fuller, that much more complete.

I've also offered real, tangible goods for auction here at WDC. Handmade jewelry with beads of colorful clay rolled in my own hands, then strung carefully for the enjoyment of those who wear it and all who see it. Though I receive nothing of monitary value for the item I work so hard to create, the gift points such items bring in benefit worthy causes and go toward helping other writers, encouraging them to do their best here at WDC. Those receiving the items have always been so pleased with them, and knowing my work has made someone else happy is the best reward I can get. To know that what I've done is appreciated, admired, and enjoyed makes all of the effort worthwhile.

Auctions and raffles also allow me to offer others a chance to get something they want. When I offer a package of reviews for aution, I am always interested in who is bidding. I often search the bid list and then visit the ports of those who've shown interest, giving random reviews. After all, why would someone bid on a package of reviews if they didn't want reviews to begin with? In doing this, I have happened across so many brilliant writers I may have never found. I've read works which have made me laugh; others have made me cry. Some have made me think about things from a perspective I never knew existed, while others whisked me off to a fantasy world I could have never imagined. Certain ones brought historical events to life and others introduced me to interesting people and places.

To me, auctions and raffles are more than a simple exchange of gift points for reviews or other goods. They are a way to expand my horizons, draw in new readers, experience the works of other writers, all the while knowing that the points I spend or those earned by the items I've donated will go toward helping other writers continue to do what they do best: write on!

Merit badges? I love merit badges! My trophy case of merit badges, ribbons, and awards is my pride and joy here at WDC. Although they are virtual, they show me that others notice what I do, appreciate my work, enjoy my stories, and acknowledge my hard work. Growing up as the third of seven children, praise and recognition was hard, if not impossible to come by. To my parents, writing was not a "real" job or career aspiration. It was a frivolous waste of time. Poetry was a pox on the human soul, stirring up emotions which were best left lie. Fictional stories were nothing but misleading falsehoods, a distraction taking the serious mind from worthy pursuits. Historical fiction was even worse, involving helpless personages of times past in conversations, and events which never happened. Writing was neither an honorable job nor an acceptable hobby and yet, it was all I wanted to do.

Therefore, the ribbons, awards, and merit badges I receive here at WDC hold great value to me. Someone sees what I have done. SOmeone has read my work. Someone has appreciated the work that went into a story. Someone related to the characters I brought to life with words. Someone was moved by the emotions I expressed; their day was brightened by the laughter or good feelings a story promoted. My merit badges, ribbons, and awards are my pride and joy. They serve as a reminder that my words have touched others, cheered them, taken them on journeys they would have otherwise missed. To them, my writing was worthy of recognition and not a valuless jumble of nonsense, lies, and time-wasting drivel.

Because I enjoy my special merits and honors, I like to send them to others when I can afford to do so. When someone writes something wonderful, I like to reward them. When someone treats me with special kindness, I like to recognize their fine qualities in the community. When someone has worked diligently to accomplish something, overcome great obstcles, or gone far above anything I could have expected, I like to let them know that they have inspired me, spurred me to action, or restored my faith in the goodness of humanity. They may only be little round pictures on the screen, but they encourage me to keep going, tell me others appreciate me, and spur me to go on to greater efforts.

Auctions, raffles, and merit badges... WDC wouldn't be the same without them.
 

When I saw this blog prompt, I had to laugh. I had just had a horrendous day of dealing with busy shoppers, out of control children, and rude drivers. I shook my head sadly and thought Common courtesy? It's not so common anymore.

Rush, rush, rush. Hurry here, hurry there. Get there before someone else beats you to it. Be the first in line, the first in traffic, the first on the elevator and the first off. It seems everyone is too busy for 'old fashioned' pleasantries that used to be common, everyday expressions. Rarely do you hear "please"; it has been replaced with "will you" or "could you" or simply "do this". Even more seldom heard is "thank you". Sadly, it has been nearly eliminated from the vocabulary of many and hasn't even been replaced with something as primitive as a grunt or a nod.

I find myself in a quandry, however, wondering which is worse: the blatant lack of courtesy and consideration or the disgusted response received when you actually show it. A few examples to illustrate my point:

On my way into the grocery store I saw a young woman struggling to free a cart from the cart corral. She had an infant in her arms and her other two toddlers were running around behind parked cars. Both my hands were free so I stopped to help her. She looked at me like I had three heads and screamed, "I can get it! What, do I look like I can't figure out how to get a cart out?"

I apologized and walked away, stopping to mention to an elderly man getting in his car that there were little children running around and he might use extra caution when proceeding out of the parking space. He thanked me for bringing this situation to his attention. Meanwhile, I was having a hole stared through the back of my head by the young mother. She plopped her infant in the seat, chased down her two unruly toddlers and deposited them, kicking and screaming, into the basket, and strolled past the back of the elderly gentleman's car, half backed out of the spot, causing him to slam on the brakes. As she was nearly hit due to her own lack of attentiveness, she rapped on his trunk and made an obscene gesture at him, shouted an epithet about 'old people driving', slapped one of her children for repeating the nasty words she had used, and proceeded into the store to the tune of horns blaring as she crossed the street without even looking for traffic. Once inside, she passed by as close as she could without physically hitting me with the cart and venomously remarked, "Thanks so much for all your help, b****." She snatched the bag of fruit I had my hand on and stomped off with her nose in the air.

Later I saw her at the bakery department putting fresh-baked cookies in a bag and letting her children eat some of them before they were paid for. I picked out my remaining items and haded for the check out as quickly as possible, hoping to avoid further contact. It wasn't to be, though. As I reached the registers I counted the items in my basket. The express lane was for 15 items or fewer and I had 25 so I got in a regular line. She, however, took her heaping cart to the express lane, cutting off an elderly woman in one of those courtesy motorized carts with a gallon of milk and a loaf of bread. She began unloading all of her selections on the conveyor belt, much to the chagrin of other customers with the designated number of items.

When the lady behind the register saw the pile growing, with no end in sight, she refused her. The mother caused a scene, shouting and ranting and raving; she had to be escorted away by the manager.

"She must be having a bad day," remarked the lady in line ahead of me.

"I'd say," was the only reply I could voice. When did it become okay to make everyone else have a bad day just because you were having one? Again, I could only shake my head.

This lady was blatantly rude and self-centered, focused only on herself and doing what she wanted when she wanted and in the manner she wished to do it. Everyone else was expected to watch out that they didn't run over her children in the parking lot or get in her way as she marched about doing only what she wanted to do.

Others are rude and self-centered in other ways. For example, consider the cell phone phenomenon. As if we weren't busy enough, cell phones now allow us to bring our friends everywhere we go, blocking out the real live flesh and blood individuals we may otherwise have interacted with. The ones that really frustrate me are those who walk through stores and down sidewalks, make eye contact as they're approaching you and then give you a dirty look when you ask them to please repeat what they said when you thought they were speaking to you. I don't think I will ever get used to seeing people walking around in conversation, gesturing and making facial expressions to suit the dialogue while no one else is visible.

Store clerks have become like store fixtures. I see so many people rush through the line, never making eye contact while chattering away at the top of their voice to invisible friends in the electronic device clipped to their ear. It doesn't seem to matter who else is around listening to their conversation. The cashier rings their purchases, bags them, and off they scurry to the rest of their life without so much as an appreciative head nod.

Conversations cannot be put on hold or interrupted for anything. Driving while on the cell phone, regardless of how hazardous it has been proven to be, is just as prevelant as it has been in years past. With the practice of 'texting' becoming even more popular, driving takes a back seat to conversation and "driving defensively" takes on a whole new meaning and scope.

What happened to talking face to face? No one seems to know how to do that anymore. Teenagers don't speak; they text using abbreviations instead of words. It's like a code. Some teenagers I know don't even talk when they're face to face; they text when they're sitting in the same room with their friends. What's that about? A few weeks ago I saw a friend's 17 year old daughter at a store and I said 'hello'. She knew who I was but ran away screaming like I was a stranger trying to molest her! I spoke to her mother about it later.

"Oh, we don't make Emily speak to adults," she said simply, as if it was an excuse for her daughter's behavior. "She doesn't know what to say to people who aren't her age so she doesn't speak to them at all." I don't know how she'll function in the real world, but I guess that's none of my business.

Of course, we can do so many things without even making human contact: ATMs spill cash into our hand at the touch of a button. Automatic parking booths give us our tickets when we arive and tell us our total and take our money as we exit. Self-check lanes allow us to scan our own purchases, slide our credit cards, and complete our transactions without saying a word to anyone else. We can buy products over the internet, allowing us to shop in our pajamas while doing many other tasks at the same time. When our orders arrive, we need only put on our slippers and hobble to the mailbox to retrieve them. We can even order groceries and have them delivered if we wish to do so.

No one looks out for anyone anymore; just drive down the road. People used to slow down and let you on the highway; now they'd just as soon run you down as look at you. If you use a turn signal, you're doing something out of the ordinary. If people see you want to change lanes, they speed up so you can't get in front of them, and if you are able to get in, they tend to pass you, cut you off, and make obscene gestures after slamming on their brakes as a way of paying you back for some perceived rudeness when all you're trying to do is drive down the highway like everyone else.

As a testiment to how little courtesy is left these days, consider this last anecdote.

A few weeks ago I went through the drive-thru at the bank. I'd requested $100 cash back from my deposit. When I received the envelope, I checked to see I'd gotten the correct driver's license back, then pulled away from the booth to allow the next person in line to begin their transaction while I counted the money. Instead of $100, I'd received $120! I pulled back around to the front and parked. Inside, I had to speak to three different people. The first teller misunderstood and tried to give me $20 more. The second told me it was more of an inconvenience to correct the matter than it was worth. The third person, the bank manager, thanked me profusely for being honest and said, "Most people would have considered it a bonus and not bothered to return it."

These experiences aren't going to keep me from being courteous, though. If we all showed a bit more courtesy, the world we live in would be much more pleasant. Rather than rushing past everyone, try a friendly 'hello', hold the door for the person coming up behind you, or say 'thank you' to a clerk. You may be surprised at how far a little courtesy can go these days.