This is the result of an real in-class assignment at SMU:

For Wednesday: Today we will experiment with a new form called the tandem story. The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person sitting to his or her immediate right. One of you will then write the first paragraph of a short story. The partner will read the first paragraph and then add another paragraph to the story. The first person will then add a third paragraph, and so on back and forth. Remember to reread what has been written each time in order to keep the story coherent. The story is over when both agree a conclusion has been reached.



At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he eked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about him much her asthma started acting up again. So chamomile was out of the question.

Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about than the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night over a year ago. "A. S. Harris to Geostation 17," he said into his transgalactic communicator. "Polar orbit established. No sign of resistance so far..." But before he could sign off a bluish particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his seat and across the cockpit.

He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not before he felt one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law Permanently Abolishing War and Space Travel." Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news simultaneously excited her and bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming of her youth-when the days had passed unhurriedly and carefree, with no newspapers to read, no television to distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her. "Why must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she pondered wistfully.

Little did she know, but she has less than 10 seconds to live. Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mothership launched the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dimwitted wimpy peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace Disarmament Treaty through Congress had left Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien empires who were determined to destroy the human race. Within two hours after the passage of the treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the entire planet. With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile entered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive explosion which vaporized Laurie and 85 million other Americans. The President slammed his fist on the conference table. "We can't allow this! I'm going to veto that treaty! Let's blow'em out of the sky!"

This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvinistic, semiliterate adolescent.

Yeah? Well, you're a self-centered tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium.

Asshole.

Bitch.
 

Avoid alliteration. Always.

Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.

Avoid cliches like the plague. (They're old hat.)

Employ the vernacular.

Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.

Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary.

It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.

Contractions aren't necessary.

Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.

One should never generalize.

Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "I hate quotations. Tell me what you know."

Comparisons are as bad as cliches.

Don't be redundant; don't use more words than necessary; it's highly superfluous.

Be more or less specific.

Understatement is always best.

One-word sentences? Eliminate.

Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.

The passive voice is to be avoided.

Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.

Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.

Who needs rhetorical questions?

Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.


 

So, I kinda missed my account birthday. Oops.

Hard to believe I've been on here for three years... it's been pretty epic. You guys rock my totally awesome knee-high socks

Quick plug: http://www.niftyswift.blogspot.com

Yeah, new blog. Shut it.
 

Went to the optometrist. The verdict is I am on the borderline of being short-sighted (I'm already long-sighted and wear reading glasses) and I have two months' of eye exercises to do to see if the damage will correct itself. If it doesn't get better in four months, I get new glasses.

In the meantime, it's daily eye exercises and roaring headaches for me. Joy.
 

My mother is a bitch.

But other than that, I'm pretty good. Spent all yesterday with Reece. Today, my shoulders and neck are sore. The two are not necessarily related .
 

I just watched Moulin Rouge, okay? And I'm in love with the song Come What May.

I will admit I cried.

And it was the only Baz Luhrmann movie I have ever enjoyed - although Nicole Kidman faking an orgasm was not something my innocence ever needed to be exposed to

I can't find my glasses. I have no idea where I left them... and I've got a headache.
 

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I'M FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE



That is all.
 

Had my first conversation with the aforementioned old friend today - Emma. She's still as awesome as I remember, and we've turned out so similar. I can tell we will still get along famously It's such a great feeling, reconnecting with someone. Emma was a great friend to me for a few years, and I'm really glad we can be reunited.

I'm working on Hybrid at the moment. Saf's finally co-operating - turns out I just needed to find some more... mellow music. . I was going to do an entry for Short Shots but I don't think that's going to happen. And I'm working on getting my group newsletter done.

One more exam to go: Japanese next Tuesday. Then I'm free for two whole months!
 

For two reasons.

First of all, I had a full day of exams today, and wrote a total of seven essays. My hand is killing me.

Secondly, I found an old friend from primary school on Facebook yesterday. I'm so happy - she was a great friend, really funny, and we haven't spoken in years. I'm so glad to be able to reconnect with someone.

Now, I'm going to go write.
 

I'm bored, okay? And I decided to set up an email address. I then went to Mystery Google and posted said email address with instructions to email to receive your mission.

I've gotten several responses. The number of people who are a) willing to email Ninja School Recruiting and b) dress up as a fruit, go somewhere public and sing a Disney song and then c) send me photographic/video evidence of this mission has made my day. Seriously.

My people are out there.


 

Ok, two exams down, four to go. Happy happy joy joy.

I am working on getting my group back on track, and hopefully Unshakeable will get somewhere too...

Um...

That is all.
 

That title is my new nickname for the purpose of my leaver's jumper. It is the fear of garlic: therefore, a direct link to me being a vampire

Today was my last day of formal school for the year. I am almost officially in my senior year. Just one more week to go...
 

Ok, hopefully the Readers of Ceri are still there, lurking somewhere.

I need some suggestions.

I need to think of a nickname to put on my Seniors 2010 jacket. It has to be 12 characters or less, and I would prefer that it is funny and doesn't contain any variation of either of my names (Ceridwen Swift or Megan Watson). Any ideas?
 

I have decided that it is a matter of life or death that you all get an update on my playlist. I listed it ages ago... it's changed and grown since then.

10 Years Today - Bullet for my Valentine (hereby shortened to BFMV)

Superman - Breaking Benjamin

The Taste of Ink - The Used

Breakdown - Breaking Benjamin

Waking the Demon - bfmv

Say Goodnight - bfmv

Broken - Seether ft. Amy Lee

Sooner or Later - Breaking Benjamin

Breath - Breaking Benjamin

Hearts Burst Into Fire - bfmv

Hit the Floor - bfmv

Heaven Help Us - My Chemical Romance

Disappear - bfmv

Tears Don't Fall - bfmv

Trapped - Soulidium

Vulnerable - Secondhand Serenade (I apologise to no-one. I have my guilty pleasures)

Creeping Death - bfmv

Skin - Breaking Benjamin

No Easy Way Out - bfmv

In the Shadows - The Rasmus

Scream, Aim and Fire - bfmv

Animal I Have Become - Three Days Grace

Descent of the Archangel - Kamelot

Live Forever - Soulidium (it is, after all, only natural that I have a song about vampires)

Turn to Despair - bfmv

Take it out on me - bfmv (I shouldn't listen to this song. It depresses me)

Take Me With You - Secondhand Serenade

Phase - Breaking Benjamin

Colors - Crossfade

The Cross - Within Temptation

Immortal - The Rasmus

Last to Know - bfmv

Follow Me - Breaking Benjamin

Death Dies Hard - Deathstars (I went through a European synth death metal phase, okay?)

Forever and Always - bfmv

Unknown Soldier - Breaking Benjamin

Awake - Secondhand Serenade

Rain - Breaking Benjamin

Simple Design - Breaking Benjamin

Home - Breaking Benjamin

The Poison - bfmv

Spit You Out - bfmv

Take it Away - The Butterfly Effect

4 Words To Choke Upon - bfmv

So Cold - Breaking Benjamin

You - Breaking Benjamin

Domination - bfmv

Angels - Within Temptation

Curses - bfmv

Deliver Us From Evil - bfmv

Road to Nowhere - bfmv

Broken Soul - Breaking Benjamin

Let Go - Red

Behind Blue Eyes - Limp Bizkit (Thomas' song, for those interested)

Fall for You - Secondhand Serenade

Seven Days - bfmv

Hand of Blood - bfmv

The Diary of Jane - Breaking Benjamin

No Games - Breaking Benjamin

End of Days - bfmv

Zombie - The Cranberries

Sanitarium - Metallica

Ashes of the Innocent - bfmv

Wake the Dead - The Used

Believe - Breaking Benjamin

Beautiful Mine - The Butterfly Effect (on a side note, I hated The Butterfly Effect as in the movie)

Here We Are - Breaking Benjamin (the themesong for Hybrid)

One Second of Insanity - The Butterfly Effect

Shallow Bay - Breaking Benjamin

Your Call - Secondhand Serenade

Next to Nothing - Breaking Benjamin

Eye of the Storm - bfmv

Right Side of the Bed - Atreyu

Blow Me Away - Breaking Benjamin

Just Another Star - bfmv

One of a Kind - Breaking Benjamin

Topless - Breaking Benjamin

Bye Bye Beautiful - Nightwish

Hanging By a Moment - Lifehouse (my all-time favourite love song)

Crazy Train - bfmv

Soul on Fire - H.I.M

Lies - Evanescence

Evil Angel - Breaking Benjamin

You Fight Me - Breaking Benjamin

No Control - bfmv

Moonlight - Kamelot

The End - bfmv

Cries in Vain - bfmv

Home - 3 days grace

burn it down - avenged sevenfold

away - breaking benjamin

until the end - breaking benjamin

our solemn hour - within temptation

i caught fire in your eyes - the used

all these things i hate - bfmv

had enough - breaking benjamin

requiem for a dream - clint mansell (Nick's song)

dance with the devil - breaking benjamin

i hate everything about you - three days grace

forget it - breaking benjamin

girl anachronism - the dresden dolls (blame Tamblyn for this one)

it's not over - secondhand serenade

sick cycle carousel - lifehouse

faithless - shattersphere

polyamorous - breaking benjamin

kiss me - the cranberries

broken - secondhand serenade

suppose - secondhand serenade

cold - crossfade

numb - linkin park

perfect - simple plan

adam's song - blink-182 (i don't let myself listen to this one normally)

chanson triste - carla bruni (it's in french! )

can't let you go - matchbox 20

given up - linkin park

a lot like me - the offspring

down with the sickness - disturbed

can't fight the moonlight - leann rimes

in the end - linkin park

superman - five for fighting

that awesome song from Fifth Element that the Diva sings

Phantom of the Opera - Sarah Brightman/Michael Crawford version

ironic - alanis morrisette

indestructible - disturbed

you and me - lifehouse

broken - lifehouse

dear agony - breaking benjamin

i will not bow - breaking benjamin

anthem of the angels - breaking benjamin

lights out - breaking benjamin

into the nothing - breaking benjamin

faint - linkin park

fade away - breaking benjamin

ordinary man - breaking benjamin

water - breaking benjamin

whatever it takes - lifehouse

Mad World - gary jules (from Donnie Darko)

waltz in the fourth dimension - from donnie darko

don't wait for daylight - needtobreathe

shine on - needtobreathe

washed by the water - needtobreathe

lay 'em down - needtobreathe




Okay that's it. Now I'm gunna go watch Carl Barron's new DVD.




 

Today, I met a survivor of the Holocaust.
 

http://www.shadeworks.org

Go.

Read.

This little vampire got a story in a zine

Shadeworks is epic, by the way. It has the Ceri Seal of Approval.
 

Ok, not really. I just felt like scaring you all :P

I bought my ball gown for next year. All you American people would refer to that as a prom dress. It's black and strapless and has a corsetted bodice and and and I LOVE IT. But y'all won't be seeing photos til after the night of. So, March next year. Heehee. Reece doesn't get to see it til the night of either.

I am working on Hybrid so you'll have something to read, dear Readers of Ceri.
 

Oh, sue me:

http://twitter.com/ohjustanotherme


 

Update: my life is boring. I got re-employed as a checkout chick again. I am going to make a new facebook account so that my parents can't stalk me anymore.



 

I got an hour with Tim, so I thought I'd treat you guys to some new stuff to read.

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