I swear! I think my entire writing history is littered with dilemmas as I try and wade through what I should do. What I "should" do is maybe write another short story or two and get them posted here. However, I'm currently working on 2 novels with a 3rd being planned. That doesn't leave much time for short stories. My "dilemma" is that I'm still working on this year's NaNo novel that I didn't complete. Heck. I didn't even win this year. Oh, well. And then! In the process of reading more books on writing that's helping me take my writing to the next level, I came up with a way to completely change up last year's NaNo novel so that it goes from, "I can't read this it's so boring," to "Wow. That's kind of creepy. Tell me more." lol So, of course, my dilemma boils down to, "What do I work on?" I suppose I could attempt writing on both of the books at the same time. Maybe work on one for awhile and then switch to the other. Or I could go all "NaNo" on this year's novel and finish cranking it out. I think I'm about halfway through it. I have a feeling it's going to take on a completely different "face" when it goes into editing. Goodness knows last year's novel is completely changing. Forget deleting 4 chapters and tossing out 2 characters. Nope. Now it's change POV, toss out at least 4 characters, and turn the story around so it goes more like this.... Yeah. It will barely be recognizable when I'm finished with it.

I hope I can work it out before long which way I should go, or I'm going to end up wedging myself in a corner and not write anything. I'll do that to myself when I can't make up my mind. Maybe I could alternate chapters. Write one chapter in this book, then write a chapter in the other book. That would give me more time with each book before I had to switch and possibly keep the flow going. Oh, heck. I don't know. This is when I start singing "ring a'round the rosies" in my head. lol Right now, I can put it off a bit longer due to the fact I've been rather sick the past few days. Until about 3 hours ago, I've been suffering nonstop from a nasty sinus headache. Now that it's mostly under control, I can start to write again. Gack. Both books have the next sections planned out and are ready to go.

Maybe I'll just write out detailed notes on "Whispers of the Past" and make sure I have everything in place to take off. Maybe work on a full plot line for it so it will be "easy" to write. I'm still uncertain on a few areas. And while I'm doing that, keep working on "The Day SHADE Came to Call" since it's heading in the right direction already. That might be my best bet. Well, until tomorrow, that is. At that point, I'm sure I'll change my mind again. lol
 

Okay, that does it. I have my goal and I'm going to shoot for it. I want to be a published author. While I've had that dream for YEARS, it's time I pulled it out and did something about it. Dreaming about it does no good if you're not willing to work for it. Some dreams are like that, you know.

I'm starting to build my name outside of WDC so that I have "name brand recognition." Maybe I should change my Twitter name and go from "sldrsprincess" to "EJ Roberts." That's the name I'll publish under, if I make it that far. I've played with the idea of creating a short romance story and title it "A Soldier's Princess" to see if I can't claim that name for real. Isn't that silly of me? However, "sldrsprincess" is a deep part of who I am and I don't want to give it up. Perhaps that's a thought I need to get over. Though my Twitter 'name' itself is "sldrsprincess," I do have my name that shows after it set to "EJ Roberts." Do you think that's good enough?

My new blog is currently set up on WordPress. I've always used Blogger in the past, so this is new. http://ejroberts.wordpress.com/ There it is if you're interested. Of course, it probably won't be much different from this one. I was talking to hubby about making a more professional blog and he looked at me funny. Considering people tend to like my writing and what it shows about me the most, maybe he's right. So, it will be a slightly meandering blog, I guess. Though I'm learning the art of categories and should look more into tags. For someone who grew up with computers and the internet, I let myself fall behind the times.

I'm also hoping to narrow down an "official" URL before too long to claim. It will only point to my blog for now, but at least I'll have my name. Unfortunately, my "name" is officially claimed by someone else. That's what I get for trying to combine initials with a common last name. I have an interesting discovery. I'm not shy to use my real name online, which is Erin. I mean, it's a fairly common name. I looked it up once, I'm 1 of 200,000 or something like that with that exact name. lol So, if I change my author name to "Erin J Roberts," I can claim it as a URL. I'll have to think about it. Hmm. Great. I should have thought about this BEFORE I started that new blog. Darn. Because I'm thinking I'll do that. I am rebuilding my name from scratch since I vanished from WDC for so long. I can make it be anything I want. However, since my personal URL will point to my blog, it doesn't matter if my blog is under ejroberts. It still counts. Okay. Disaster averted. I win! lol

Regarding my lovely Twitter account. I've decided to keep it @sldrsprincess and my "real name" as Erin J Roberts. I use "sldrsprincess" all over the internet! It's as much my name as my real name. I would like to pretend that it's part of me. Okay, it is part of me, so it's all good.

Let's see here. I'm hoping to waste some time later today by running to Walgreens and then off to Office Depot. They have this nifty double fan cooling pad for Netbooks. My poor little Netbook gets a workout when I decide to write on it. It makes me nervous when it starts getting hot. I'll also meander around Office Depot and see what else they have. I'm such a sucker for office supplies. It will break my heart if they don't have anything else I "have to have." I might look into spiral notebooks and see if they have anything. I have a thing for writing in spiral notebooks for some reason.

I suppose that's enough rambling for now. The natives are getting restless. I need to go do some crowd control. I sure hope my hubby gets home from the store soon. I want to go office supply shopping.

Edited to add: http://www.erinjroberts.com will be going live in 24-48 hours. Whoo!! I'm so excited. Mind you, it's only going to my wordpress blog, but that's better than nothing! If I become more "famous," I'll get real hosting for it and make it better. For now? A blog is fine.


 

I woke up this morning to several messages from my group here on WDC who are part of the NaNo Write-A-Thon. They're all working so hard towards the goal and trying to get our little group to make a good showing in the contest. I feel bad "dropping out" to go slower. I could always make a note to myself saying that I 'turned on the heat' midway through chapter 6, and be ready to do some heavy editing through the second half of the book. As soon as NaNo is over, I can put on the brakes, and go back to writing by hand. Or even stop writing at that point, back track to Chapter 6 and start the editing process. I don't know. It all boils down to my feeling bad for my group. I'm not even halfway through the count for NaNo. 3500 words a day are needed from here on out, no skipping days, to hit the 50K goal. I'm not 100% sure. I'm torn in half by either decision.

Well, it's already 11 am and if I want to make a decent 'showing' in this contest, I'd better stop being so wishy-washy and get a move on. Now that I'm more awake, I might even be able to retreat into Chapter 7 and start writing it. I sort of skipped it last night. And Chapter 8, or what I got written, needs completely redone. Oh, well. That's only about 500 words I'm backtracking over. lol I can have that redone in no time.

I'm off to get more coffee and power up the ol' Netbook. It takes a decent amount of time to get 3500 words without resorting to sprints and word wars. Later!
 

Sometimes, making decisions while I'm tired isn't good, and yet, sometimes it's when I need to make them. When I'm tired, my guard drops and my mind opens up. At these times, I sometimes see things more clearly. So, while I'm here, completely exhausted, I had a thought. What it boils down to is this...

My book started out great, even if I did agonize over it every step of the way. Now that there are only 10 days left, counting what little is left of today, do I want to sacrifice it just for a NaNo win? Or do I want to preserve the incredible beginning I had and keep working with it at a slower pace? I'm so tempted to keep plugging on, but ignoring the NaNo win. I'm thinking of going back to writing by hand since it allows me to weigh every word and situation before committing it to paper since it takes a lot longer to write. Instead of the frantic pace of 3K+ words a day of 'crap' to just 'win.'

How ironic. At this point, I can see where professional authors are coming from. Maybe it's because my thought process changed mid-November. I went from an author just playing with a silly idea to one who's taking this book more serious and thinking about it from a professional point of view. I started thinking about creating a writing career and working towards it, instead of wishing for it to happen without any effort on my part.

I'll still focus on writing every single day, as much as I can feasibly handle, but not worry about how many words there are. Just write to enjoy the ride and write. To do that, I need to write by hand. I know that now. As a matter of fact, this might be my last NaNo year. I have learned so much from it in two years. Yet, unless I'm feeling blocked, or haven't written in ages, I don't know if I'll bother with it anymore. Cheer on people, absolutely. Participate myself? I don't know.

Since I know I can make silly decisions while I'm tired, I'll head to bed and think about it. Depending on how I feel in the morning, I will make my decision. If I'm excited to slow down and work on it at a slower pace, but definitely keep working on it, then I'll probably step out of NaNo. If I feel that the win is more important, then I'll power up my computer and crank it out. But, definitely. Sleep is needed first. Oh, and a few cups of coffee.
 

First of all, thank you J.S. Wayne Back in the Game!!! for your lovely review of my rough draft. You have given me new hope in my book when I thought all was lost in some land of boringness. I will definitely keep writing and see it through to the end, as there's no telling what my characters will do. As a matter of fact, I managed to extricate my MMC from his job for the time being and he came home to find most of his characters had left the house. Eep!

I'm sitting here thinking, "Where are they getting the money to meander off like this?" My main character is thinking the same thing. I'm trying to come up with a slightly plausible idea, even if the fact my character's characters are coming from no where themselves. That in and of itself is way out there. lol I'm tempted to give them credit cards in their name with high limits and bills that will vanish if and when they do. Heck, I don't even know what will happen to them at the end. lol Perhaps, I'll write up to the point where Harold asks that all important question and leave it for the night. I'll hit the 1667 word goal for the day for the first time since day 1 and it will give me the evening to think it over. Yes, I rather like that idea. I'm going to go with that for the time being.

 

This is taken verbatim from my NaNoWriMo 2010 blog I'm doing using Blogger. This is what I get for reading too many other people's opinions on NaNo. lol I apologize if any published writers who understand NaNo completely get offended at this. Just please realize that this was in "response" to a few particular things I've read recently and it is all my personal opinion.

***

Okay! I have to do it. I've been reading way too many entries of other people's opinions on NaNoWriMo and I feel compelled to chime in. Of course, all of these so-called entries are written by professional writers. Spuh. You know, those people who were just like me at one time?

They go on and on about NaNo in some way or another, but they ALWAYS latch on to that one line in the "What is NaNoWriMo?" section that says, "You will be writing a lot of crap." They always freak out and go overboard about it. So, let me just say a few things on it myself. I might not be a "professional" writer. I might not get paid to write my little blog. I don't even have a published anything, but I apparently know something those amazing "golden" people don't.

*clears throat* ALL first drafts are crap. Actually, Ernest Hemingway said it better, but I do want to keep this semi-family friendly.

Now those "professional" writers would glare at me, and I'm sure puff up, but you know what? Get over it. Sheesh. I'm sure you're just all marvelous and wonderful in your little world, but who cares? NaNoWriMo is NOT for writers like YOU, so don't worry your little perfect heads about it. NaNoWriMo is for people like ME.

Let's sit back and see what kind of people I'm referring to.

1) Fear of being able to write anything as long as a novel, even as "pathetic" as a short 50K word novel. Yeah, I know, I know! It's a novella. Get over it.

- FACT: Doing something as silly as writing a story over a course of a month that equals 50,000 words is amazing. Many of us have NEVER written anything that long before, EVER.

- FACT: While many do use word padding techniques, there are just as many who do not. Think about that one for a moment. Some write full books up to 100K words. Others leave room within their stories to go back and expand areas when they have a detailed picture of what's going on and more time. And no, taking your time in the first place is what leads to procrastination and the book never getting written. Obviously, the "published" writers are perfect. But I'm talking about the not so perfect people, like me.

2) Someone who is so scared of a recent accomplishment that they aren't writing anymore. Or, they're scared they might accomplish something. Being able to tackle something with no other reason than they want to try can be liberating.

**Ever hear of a little thing called "writer's block"? Yeah, that thing that kept you from finishing your book for ages. Some of the 'cures' for it are free writing and giving yourself permission to write ... crap. In other words, throw in the dang talking squirrel if it keeps things moving. Last time I checked, that's what the editing process was for. To take out that dang squirrel, but leave in what happened because it most likely got you past the dang problem spot! See?! Crap. (Unless you're in Narnia. Then it's perfectly normal.)

3) Someone who has no set times for writing and has a hard time making themselves write every day.

-FACT: It takes 28 days to establish a habit. Good thing NaNo is 30 days long then, huh? If a writer gets in the habit of sitting down to write at the same time every day for 30 days, they've put into place a habit they can use for life.

One final fact for you lovely 'published' writers. Not everyone wants to write a novel to become published. I know, I know. That probably shocked you right down to your toe hairs, but it's the truth. Most likely, for every writer who wants to be published, there are 5 who write just because they like to.

My first year attempting NaNo, I learned that I could write something that long. I'd never once believed I could. This year, I'm learning to sit and write every single day whether I want to or not. That is just as important as learning that I could. By knowing that I'm allowed to "write crap," all of the pressure is off. I still edit a little as I go, but nothing like I used to. I have become a better writer because of NaNo. But you know what? I don't expect you to understand that.

I'm of the opinion that "professional" writers just don't "get it." They don't understand, and will never understand, what NaNo truly means or what "You will be writing a lot of crap" means. Also, the arbitrary "win" at the end? Gee, you know what? That win at the end is the most many of us will ever see. If you're awesome enough to already have an agent and you're published, you don't understand. But don't take it away from the rest of us and demean it.

All I can say about the manuscripts that flood the publishers at the end is, "People should know better. Just because they wrote it doesn't make it good." As a matter of fact, it's a very rare, and gifted, individual who can write and edit at the same time so precisely as to have a polished manuscript at the end. So rare that people would do better to assume they can't do it and they have to edit first. However, look on the bright side, those crappy manuscripts ensure that those publishers will have plenty of work to do. See? Job security.

Now. I'm going to go write some crap so that I can have my purple winner's bar at the end.

Being allowed to write "crap" means that you are allowed to make wrong word choices and throw your characters into unlikely situations because you want to see what happens. It means that you are free from having to edit until the end because it's not important during the drafting process. Writing "crap" means that your first chapter can be useless rambling while you find the voice you're going to use for the rest of your book. It's okay that it rambles, cut it off during the editing process and rewrite it. That, by the way, is a time-honored tip for ANY book you write and not just a NaNo book. The first chapter is always "crap." In the end, "crap" only means non-perfect writing, for those of you who obviously don't "get" it. It is only a word to allow perfectionists to let go and move forward. It's nothing more 'evil' than that. So let go and move on.
 

I accepted the challenge of writing a blog entry a day during NaNo 2010. With that in mind, I'm only writing out there until the end of November. Feel free to tag along:

http://mynanowrimo2010.blogspot.com/

It's a lot like this one, only out on Blogger. lol It's been fun. I've missed one day since I started, and hopefully can make it through all of November. We'll see!
 

Tonight, I went out to Barnes and Noble with a new friend I met through NaNo. She's in the area and we decided to get together before NaNo started. Oh, tonight was so much fun! We've gotten together one time before, and I learned that she is a freelance writer. She makes decent enough money by the sounds of it. Tonight, while we were at B&N, she showed me a few books that she said were excellent in getting a person started. Since she already owned them, she let me borrow them.

I haven't figured out why I'm so afraid of the idea. Before, I could hide behind, "But I don't know how and I don't know where to start." Dang. These books walk you through step-by-step on how to get published and where to start. So, now, I'm sitting here feeling afraid. Then, some of the ideas the first writer gave in the first chapter, started hitting me. Next thing I know, I have several ideas written down and I've tracked down one trade publication and read their submission guidelines. *gasp* I've learned something and I started using it! Maybe I'm not as afraid as I keep telling myself I am.

Okay. I'm going to go back to reading this book now and see what other spiffy things I can learn... Later.
 

As with any writing project, you run into problems. I'm sure that I'm not the only one who has that happen. My recent problem has been in the form of 'The Dark Rider.' Nothing is wanting to click, none of the characters are wanting to play nice, nothing. Perhaps it's pouting over the fact that I literally threw away the 3 chapters I'd written so far. It is supposed to be in the spirit of NaNo after all. Not that it matters that I threw away the printed copy. I still have the digital copy. lol I was going for the symbolism and an empty 3-ring binder to hold the new physical copy.

As usual when I'm having problems, a shower helped shake a few things loose. You see, I was thinking that part of the problem might be that 1) I found out that the genre the book is mean to be is a difficult one to write. 2) The idea is an old one. As a matter of fact, it's the one my husband gave me back when he found out I used to write. It is this one that turned me back into a writer. So, it has had plenty of time to sit in the back of my head and percolate.

While taking my shower today, I realized a few things that can combat those ideas that were stuck in my head. First of all, this idea has been in my head for so long, that I know the way it is to be woven is the perfect blend for a Christian fantasy. I mean, I am a Christian! I'm writing it from that viewpoint, not from someone who normally writes fantasy and "reaching" for that ideal. Nope. The reality is that I'm reaching for the fantasy side because I normally don't write it. lol Okay. So the idea is balanced and it works. Moving on to the next point... Now that I think about it, the characters never did settle in my mind when I thought of it in the first place. As a matter of fact, when I picked it back up this time around, only 2 of them agreed to stick around as what they were before. Too bad neither of them were my main character. LMAO Okay... He's still there as the Dark Rider... but his name is gone, his physical description is semi-there, but not quite. Oh, boy. I'm in trouble if I don't have my main character to work with. It was at this point that I realized the story idea wasn't complete. It's time to sit down with it and brainstorm the bits and pieces out of it until I have a good working outline. Until that happens, this book can't be written.

NaNo starts in about 9 days. If "The Dark Rider" doesn't have its outline or character sheets by then, it won't be written this year. So, I'd better get a move on. With the Scrivener Windows beta releasing in 2 short days, I have my work cut out for me. I know I'm going to want to lay out "The Day SHADE Came to Call" when it releases and get it ready for the start of NaNo. So, yeah... I need to spend some good quality time with "The Dark Rider". This should be interesting. Today is practically gone, though my husband is on his way home from his mandatory day of fun. Tomorrow will be spent with us going to meet up with my brother and his new wife. I have no idea how long that will take. Oh, well. Family needs to come before NaNo, right? Well, at least before NaNo starts anyway. lol

Yeah. Tonight, I need to focus on my book. Now, to find my headphones for my iPod... I have a feeling I'm going to need them.
 

This is funny. There was a challenge on the NaNo boards to blog every day of your NaNo journey. Not sure how that's funny... But the fact that I set up a separate blog out on Blogger is. See, that's amusing because I'll probably blog about some of it here, too! hahaha I swear. Extra words like that should count. Maybe I should run a separate little contest with myself and see how many words I write outside of NaNo next month and see how it compares with NaNo itself. It's a good idea, but I'll probably forget all about it as it gets going.

Anyway, there's the link to my other blog: http://mynanowrimo2010.blogspot.com/

I have a single entry in there at the moment. Nothing you don't already know if you've been following this one. But you could go see how pretty it is... hahaha Don't mind me. I'm tired. I took a nap today instead of working on anything. Man, if that becomes my habit during November, I'm in trouble. I need to work on getting more sleep at night.

I think that's about it. I loaded up my Twitter account again. I like to keep it open during November so that I can take part in the Sprints that they do. Only, I kept forgetting to open it up and look at my Twitter page last year. So, this year, I downloaded a web bar (Amigobar) that sits up there and tells me when there's a new tweet. Unfortunately, it also makes it easy for me to tweet as well. Needless to say, I've been throwing up random NaNo comments all day. lol (sldrsprincess if you're interested)

Okay, I'm going to dive out. Blogger is allowing pictures to be uploaded again, so I'm going to go post my snippet of my screen from last year's win. Later!