One of the guys on the bus was just out of prison. I advised him to tell his friends and family what will send him back so they don't do stupid around him. Honesty is best in some of these cases.

I make goals, break up into objectives I can measure, then try to achieve the objectives. Failure? Yeah, I've failed many times in many ways. Had a bad night last night about something I'm stressed over... but no one died today because of me, so it was a good day.

Well, if I were visiting, I'd suggest we go take a walk and see what we could see... after-all the wintry landscape in Montana is all snowy mountains and not much else. Any wildlife? We have very few birds here and the big animals avoid the city unless it is bitter and they are desperate. Any cardinals? None here.

Then I'd suggest we go back and make cookies (or not... eating them will do just fine ) I just had a cup of coffee, but I wouldn't mind some tea... if just for the aroma. I could bring some Evening in Missoula (wonderful mix!) or the bergamot of Earl Grey will do. Then again, I'm a tad stressed, although after the walk I might not be... have any chamomile?

And we could play rummy or gin... but I warn you... I take no prisoners!

I miss sitting at friend's kitchen tables... sipping something, playing something, talking about something and making memories.

What does Sarah like doing? What does she do well? Everyone has a gift and she needs to be developing it. Otherwise its a life of depression and not accomplishing much of anything.

You're a mother. You do what you have to do!

It is true, by-the-way, that friends and family do not have to agree on everything. It is amazing sometimes that two people agree on anything.

Years ago, when I fled to Arkansas and landed in Oklahoma... it was no luxury vacation. But getting away did help tremendously.

Also... looking at your portfolio... seems you have done 999 reviews! (Of course you have done more than that... numbers fluctuate). Good luck on the next few.

No... we do not learn lessons when we get them all wrong. These days of hurt are more about 'who won' than the fear they provoked and cultural reasons that led to them. Growing up, I don't remember learning why the Japanese would attack nor did I know about our internment camps till much later.

Even now do we ever ask why the Taliban act the way they do? It's more than a game of who has the bigger gun. But no one asks the questions and therefore the answers are irrelevant and solutions defy us.

God is okay, has survived worse.

But will we?

Small slights are like paper cuts. They hurt much more than expected.

In some ways you are blessed to have people in your life. Although the folks here are pleasant, I have no family and no long-time friends around. Some days it would be nice to have pancakes with someone again.

So... what banishes the depression or keeps it at bay? I only need to go out in the sunshine or snow, meet folks I know or don't know at the coffeehouse or the senior center or on the bridge. I'm easy that way. Not everyone is; but, it is good to know what helps and what makes it worse. Like, for me, reading about people's happy normal life written in a naive perky voice doesn't help my depression one bit. I'd much rather read about your struggles because I know it's real. And I've been there... or will be.

It is good that everyone else is doing fine. Now... time for yourself.