You have every right to be upset. They were YOUR gourds not the person who took them. Thieves are just cowards. Grrrr I can't stand someone who is so dishonest to do such a thing as this. As silly as it sounds i would report it to the police, and let them do a report on this. Perhaps someone else in your neighborhood may be experiencing the same thing.

Leila,
I understand your grief. A year is not much time when it comes to losing someone you love. I lost my sister in 1989 and I still have days of intense grief. She had been gone about 10 years when I was driving home from work and had to pull over to the side of the road and cry.

Here is a song that I love that speaks about our grief.

"Tears are a Language God Understands" (Composed by Gordon Jenson in 1971)

"Often you wonder why tears come into your eyes
And burdens seem to be much more than you can stand.
But God is standing near. He sees your falling tears
And tears are a language God understands.

God sees the tears of a brokenhearted soul.
He sees your tears and hears them when they fall.
God weeps along with man and He takes him by the hand.
Tears are a language God understands.

Then grief has left you low it causes tears to flow
When things have not turned out the way that you had planned.
But God won't forget you His promises are true.
And tears are a language that my God understands.

God sees the tears of a brokenhearted soul.
He sees your tears and hears them when they fall.
God weeps along with man and He takes him by the hand.
Tears are a language God understands....

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I think that coldness and pain is a reminder of the warmth and love you felt and still feel for someone when they are gone. Winter and this time of year, last and new, brings memories clearly into the picture... reflections of the past. Missing those no longer with us is truly painful but you can turn that to happiness when you remember the smiles that were shared during your time together.

Grieving is a process of acceptance and letting go. When I feel this way I write in my private journal or I write poetry I share later. Find the way that allows you to express the grief and little by little move on.

Proverbs 14:13 "Even in laughter the heart may ache, and joy may end in grief." Its okay to miss your sister, and its okay to cry. Death is a sad thing, and something God did not intend to happen. When he made the world it was perfect, without any form of pain or suffering, but now because of sin we have death. I am sorry that she died in such a sad way, but she is now free from pain and hurt. I pray that you will remain strong in Christ, and know that he loves you.
Your sister in Chirst,
Rebekah