It is so ridiculous the changes just one more addition can bring. Who would have thought that 4 children would be so much harder than three? Not me that's for sure. After dealing with identical twins it makes you feel invincible, like you can do anything, most probably because you have to do 'everything' but nevertheless it makes one feel confident that they can take on anything.

Since the arrival of Jaide things have been a nightmare. The twins are so jealous and it does not matter how much attention we pay to them or how much we go out of our way to include them in everything, they won't have it. They are pissed big time and it does not look like they will be getting over it anytime soon. On the hand, our eldest son, Shaine, is absolutely devoted to his little sister and she already has him wrapped around her little finger. I suppose you can't win em all.

The twins resentment of Jaide is making things extremely difficult. I have absolutely zero relaxation time, I am completely sleep deprived, the weather has been smouldering hot and some family members of mine have been nothing short of dickheads and deliberately going out of their way to piss me off and antagonise me into confrontations with them.

My father has especially been making things difficult. He does not like the name Jaide and as such refuses to call my daughter by her name. If there is ever a time when you should not piss a woman off let it be known that it is the first few months after they have given birth. I am so furious with my dad right now and feel that he is being completely childish, afterall, she is my daughter and it is not my responsibility nor my intention to go out of my way to name her something that sits well with him. He had four children, named them, now move the fuck on, your time is done.

This whole pull for superiority is driving me absolutely crazy and causing many different issues within the family. Naturally, Michael is upset/enraged and is at boiling point that those who are supposed to be supportive at a time like this are the only ones who are rocking the boat and going out of their way to spoil our happiness. I promised myself that I would get a hold on my temper but geez there is only so much one person can take, especially when they left the highschool playground years ago. Be damned if I am putting up with schoolyard antics from adults. I do not have the time nor the patience.

The arguments have been constant and consistent and it seems the more patient I try to be the more they push my patience to breaking point. The one good thing is that my sister Cassandra has been awesome. Extremely supportive, stops by and visits a few times a week and we keep in constant contact through text messages and phonecalls when she is not here. She has been a godsend and I could not have gotten a better source of support. She is super pissed at dad as well but then again she hasn't ever really been dad's number 1 fan anyway.

I hope for my sanity that it all dies down soon and the childish bullshit comes to an abrupt halt. It would make things so much easier and definitely more manageable if they did. :/

Goth Angel.