This might be the shortest blog post ever! Will be gone for most of the day as we made plans to take advantage of this absolutely gorgeous weather. Sorry NaNo! Sorry all other writing projects! Sometimes life supercedes all else! Adios!
 

Well, no, it ain't that bad. But am still on the mend after getting nailed pretty good by some kind of physical malady (Actually, I think they call it a cough and cold). Anyway, work has been a real bear this week, so just sort of "chilled" last night and attempted to straighten up the work room (aka "office") here. I'm what some people might refer to as a slob when it comes to being orderly. Try as I might (and I really don't - that's the problem) the place always seems pretty bad in here. All I can say is TGIF!
 

Okay, going to be a quick one this moring as I have a number of other things I must get done before I leave for work. Was nice to see that "Three Deceasedos" made yesterday's Comedy Newsletter. Only got a couple hundred NaNo words last night. My word count is really going to suck by the end of the month. I really don't know how anybody that works a full-time jub and has family to contend with can even approach those kinds of numbers. On the other hand, I will feel forever grateful to Nano just the idea of trying to compete in it forced me (I feel I'm most creative if my back's up against the wall) to come up with a novel-length story line, and plenty of situations to feed off of. I think I mentioned in a previous blog that one thing that hurts me big-time here is that I cannot break the habit of going back and proof-reading each paragraph, spell-checking, editing, etc. Which is a really surprising self-revelation since I consider my style of writing to be so un-disciplined. I guess the one advantage I will have at the end of the month is despite a relatively paltry word count, I won't have a lot of correcting/editing to do. On we go!
 

Hit the big 5k mark with Nano last night. Yeah, yeah, I know. That ain't much. However, I started a week late. I also did another review. I never knew until I checked recently that since I've been on this site, my stuff has been reviewed 130+ times; while I've only done like 61 reviews. Never realized the disparity was that great, so I'm going to try to get that up to a closer to 50-50 split by the time we ring in the new year. Have school tonight, so won't get anything else done. But, there's always tomorrow...
 

Okay, now...this isn't even funny. Got nailed with a pretty good cough again, accompanied by a fever that comes & goes at will (as they tend to do). I just had gotten over being sick around the first week of October. Up until then, I would say my average for getting sick to any extent was about once every two years or so, for about the last thirty. All I can figure is that with all of the hand-shaking and hugging I did last week, must have come in contact with a "carrier." Did feel a little better when I found out I got 2nd place in CRC Witches & Warlocks contest (Miley's Virus). But felt so lousey last night didn't do homework or NaNo.
My attention span was about 30 seconds, so I did some reviews. My goal this year is to get the number of reviews I have done to equal - at least - the number I have received. Seeing how I enjoy writing much more than I do reading, that is quite a challenge. Last night I did 3 Rising Stars and one random review. A lot of poetry involved, which sort of whet my appetite - not sure why - to write some more poetry soon. Am assuming that was just the sickness distorting my judgement. Well, work - in all it's glory - beackons. One other thing...It's been like forever since I did an entry for the 500 words a day group; got a notice about some new rules being implemented there which indirectly reminded me of my negligence there. I'm probably on the verge of getting kicked out of that group if I don't watch it. Just hate it when I get banished for non-compliance issues. Adios!
 

As expected, spent all of yesterday outside, as the weather was so gorgeous. Raked about half the yard, spent some time with oldest daughter who went back home yesterday afternoon, and then went on a extended bike ride with my wife. We ended up visiting Mom's grave, and consolidated the flowers (that were left from the funeral) into a smaller bunch. Then, in a moment of weakness, watched "The Proposal" with wife last night. Actually, I think I was too sore from raking leaves and bike riding to make a "run for it."

So NaNo had to take a back seat. It probably also will tonight as I have a lot of homework from my Wednesday night class (didn't go last week) which will consume the entire evening.
 

Yes, it's early, but what a beautiful day! For a week into November, the weather is absolutely gorgeous. Still experiencing some "withdrawal" symptoms after everyone who had come into town for Mom's funeral have all left. But, my wife and daughter returned late last night from going to another city where they made the arrangements for our daughter's wedding next August. Actually, being all alone for a while afforded me the opportunity to spend a little time on NaNo. As of this morning, I'm still hopelessly behind @4299 words, but I had started yesterday at only 1600+ so, for me anyway, that was major headway. Now, it's time to jog with my wife, then it will be leaf raking time, so NaNo may yet again take a back seat. But you can't be a shut-in when the weather is this gorgeous!
 

Well, just took my brother to the airport. Was pretty strange insofar as he always came home in the past for the reason of visiting Mom; now that common thread no longer exists.
I know my sincere hope is that we still see each other on a fairly regular basis - as much as logistics of travel permit. My son left earlier this morning, we went out last night together and were able to spend some "guy time" together, rented "I Love You Man" and "Stan Helsing"; first one was good; Helsing was a bit of a disappontment - at least until I bowed out after the first half-hour or so. My younger daughter left yesterday morning as she had work. My wife and my older daughter went out of town yesterday to go finalize some of daughter's wedding plans for next August; they won't be back until later today. So, for the previous 5 or 6 days, there were tons of people around all the time. Suddenly, it's strangely quiet around here. Feels rather unusual being alone after all the hustle and bustle affiliated with a funeral...
 

Yesterday's service went well for Mom. In fact, I can't imagine it going any better than it did.
Everyone contributed to a heart-warming service, and a very nice benefit of a very difficult circumstance was that, of course, we were lucky enough to visit with our kids, my brother, etc. for an extended period of time. We went out for a fantastic family lunch after the service and then last night we all did the same for dinner. The turnout at the service was exceptional; and my brother, who made a "tear-jerker" of a photo-video tribute to Mom, did a wonderful job of "emceeing" the event.

No naNo, but that's okay...

And now, back to work.
 

Today is Mom's funeral. My son arrived last night so our three kids are all in now. It was nice to sit and watch some of the World Series with the entire family. My wife is truly overjoyed when any of the kids are here, but having all three at once is always special. Tuesday she and my two daughters spent the day out looking for a wedding dress; I guess the third one was a charm as Leah found the one she wanted. She also got the bridesmaid dresses selected, so she was pretty excited about that. So the circumstances surrounding the week weren't a total downer. Everyone has put so much work into the service later this morning, I hope it goes smoothly.

Wow. Did I ever make a mistake by signing up for NaNo! Obviously, the death of my Mom has certainly impacted the number of words I should have had written by now, but I've also come to realize that I'm way too disciplined for the undisciplined approach that is necessary to actually churn out those numbers. The little time that I've had, I've spent on re-writing and editing. If I mess up a sentence, I can't proceed until I make it "right." As a result, I'm four days in with 1272 words, which is a pace of about 10k by the end of the month! I realize that after today, things should become a little more normal around here, but jeez...I'm having a terrible time just letting the words fly without constant editing! As they say...Hey, what do they say, anyway?
 

Will wonders never cease? Actually found the time to churn out a whopping 970 NaNo words! Most of Mom's arrangements have been finalized, thanks primarily to my immediate family. The only day I get off from work will be tomorrow as it is really quite busy, and I guess it's the price you pay when you're the only employee! Anyway, it should be a very nice service. Anyway, my Mom had kept a scrapbook for each of her two boys, and in mine there are is a particluar letter I wrote to my parents and brother after I had apparently been upset with all of them at the ripe old age of nine. It's just very funny, and my wife, kids and brother want me to read it at the service tomorrow. I bring this up only to illustrate that I had hints of writing ability when I was that young, and I just wish I had gone in that direction right from the start. Wasn't "macho" enough for my Dad, I guess.

Oh well, will see if I can add to the NaNo at some point today.
 

Went to a special mass for the deceased last night; both of my daughters accompanied my wife and I, so it was pretty special. My son will be coming in tomorrow night for the funeral on Thursday, so I'm grateful that we'll all be together for the "final farewell" for Mom. The reality is that there aren't all that many left in her age group so I don't expect too many other visitors.

What's today, the 3rd of November? Was hoping to scribble at least a few NaNo words last night, but between visits and calls & Mass, didn't happen. I'm still holding on to the hope that I can stage a miraculous comeback at some point, but each day that I get absolutely nothing written, that flame fickers a little less brightly.
 

As expected, sleep didn't come particularly easy last night. On the other hand, it was still preferable to the couple of nights prior to last night. Since I have to work today, my brother and step-father are handling the majority of the arrangements for Mom's service, which will tentatively be scheduled for most likely Thursday but perhaps even as early as Wednesday. Certainly, funeral home availablity will have something to do with that as well; they're supposed to meet with a funeral director @10 this AM. My wife and daughter really made a spectacular dinner last night for those who were close to Mom's situation; it was really a very special evening, after a day - which for me, anyway - bordered on the surreal. My wife has really been really tremendous throughout all of this, and must say her capacity for giving and compassion is incredible. All I can say is "Wow."

Still hanging on to the dream of getting going with NaNo, but didn't start yesterday for obvious reasons. Tonight is booked solid, as is most of the next 5 or 6 days. Oh well - maybe I'll just start a week late and play by my own NaNo rules!


 

Hope everyone had a happy Halloween. Completed "Miley's Virus"  for the CRC Witches & Warlocks Contest last night. Weather turned out favorable for the trick-or-treaters, but we didn't have too many as we just don't have that many small kids in the neighborhood. When our kids were small, we had tons of them. Funny how that kind of 'cycles'. Anyway got my brother late last night, and then he, my oldest daughter, my wife and myself went out to dinner. Some small talk, but mostly a discussion of the events scheduled for today re: Mom. Basically, we're going to gather at the hospital around noon, visit with Mom, and then the respirator will be removed around 1PM. Then I imagine we will just...wait. Before that, though, my wife and I are going out jogging (brrr...looks cold out there) after which I will go do my every-56-day-event, that of giving blood. (Should have done that yesterday, right?)

Also, many thanks to Acme for the awards related to the Halloween One Shots Contest.

Uh-oh, my wife's calling me....gotta run (literally)!

Can't wait for this day to be over!

Also, NaNo is probably history, even before I type a single word.
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Afternoon update: My Mom's suffering came to an end at about 2:10 PM today, about 80 minutes after being removed from the ventilator. My brother, my wife, and my oldest daughter were also present when she entered eternal peace. Thanks to those who offered their prayers and other thoughts and words of support. Please know that your kindness will always be appreciated...
 

So, it's finally here! No, not Halloween, silly. I mean the day I have to have 3 reviews done for Rising Stars. Must get moving on those babies as soon as I'm done here. Then, I have to get my CRC Witches & Warlocks entry done by tonight - I hope it was due today and not yesterday - and that will take care of the Halloween contests I committed myself to.

Have to get my brother from the airport tonight; cessation of the ventilator on my Mom is still scheduled for 1PM tomorrow. Funny...ever since we made the decision to "comply with her wishes" (as per her living will) I've had a very difficult time going in and "facing" her (even though she's not conscious). Didn't see that coming. Two of my kids just happened to be in Vegas for the weekend for the Halloween festivities; they had been saving up for this weekend getaway for a long time so I hated to have to call them with the news (didn't want to put a damper on the weekend but obviously it was something they needed to know). My wife was just talking to somebody at her work who went through a similar situation and they told her it was an entire week from cessation of ventilator to end-of-life. I hope that is not the case here.
 

Well, 14/7/1 is history. Submitted "Rabid Recall: CH7 - Happy Ending"  last night. Was a lot of fun; look forward to playing it again some time. Hard to believe Halloween is almost here; must have been a lot of school parties yesterday as I saw a lot of little kids in their costumes running around. I have one more Halloween story I'd like to write prior to tomorrow night; don't know if it's feasible; still have three reviews to do for Rising Stars which are due by tomorrow, and I wouldn't want to wait - ahem - until the last minute or anything. Would hate to get unceremoniously thrown out immediately after going in!

My brother's coming into town late tomorrow night for Mom. Tentatively, she will be removed from the vent @ 1PM Sunday. I was at the hospital last night. They asked about the kidney dialysis that was scheduled for today and her usual blood work; as in "Do I want them to continue - given our decision?" There was only one logical answer, but I guess they had to ask. Mom is now strictly on what they term "Comfort care" from now until the end, or should I say, the beginning of her next journey. Next few days will most likely seem pretty surreal I would imagine.

I just realized that NaNo begins on Sunday. I should probably bail on that, as the next week - if you consider the wake, funeral service, accommodating visitors, etc. - is going to be very crazy. It's possible I might be sitting on a word count of "0" a week from Saturday; that would make for difficult catch-up (2.2k words/day for 23 days). Have to see how things stand come early next week, and decide if it's even worth starting this year. Of course, the way I roll with writing, it's not like I've already spent any "prep" time for this baby, outside of deciding on a topic.

Until tomorrow, which is finally Halloween! Have a happy one.
 

Well, after talking with my brother and finding out his plans re: air travel;, it now looks like he will be arriving Saturday, and Mom will then be removed from the ventilator, and dialysis stopped on Sunday (see yesterday's blog post if none of this makes any sense). I had school last night so I didn't see her, but my wife did, and said that Mom appears to be in more pain, which I take as a message that (hopefully) we're doing the right thing, although now that the decision has been made, sleeping has become rather difficult. I'm convinced it's the right thing to do, I think it's more a thing of being involved in the decision of whether another human - particularly if it's your mother stays on a machine or not. I don't think anybody ever anticipates that. Such is life, I guess.

Have to hustle and finish 14/7/1 today; last chapter due tonight. Have some stuff to take care of after work, so it might be down to the wire. We'll see.
 

Yes, and I really mean "wicked" this time. Two major happenings yesterday: 1) Family meeting concerning my Mom resulted in the combined decision (after conferring with my brother who lives on the west coast) to allow Mom to "pass." Actually, it was relatively easy since she has now reached the point where the wording of her living will can actually be used to support the decision. In other words, she has deteriorated to the extent that it is the opinion of the medical staff that she has virtually zero chance of ever resuming any degree of positive "quality of life." Nevertheless, when you feel all of the eyes in a room focus on you, wanting your opinion, it's still - regardless of what you know in your heart - very difficult to verbalize those feelings. Any any case, the actual time of the cessation of life support is contingent upon when my brother can make it into town, as he, naturally, wants to be present when it happens. Ironically, I'm not so sure that I want to be present, but that will probably change.

the second bit of news that I got (via my wife) is that my older daughter, who underwent a couple of surgeries in May to remove a cancerous tumor in her shoulder (dermatofibrosarcoma protuberens) is now seeing evidence of new growths in the same area. she was already scheduled to go in for check-up anyway next week, which is good. We were all forewarned at the time of the initial surgery that this type of cancer has a high incidence of recurrance for the first three years after surgery, so I guess it's not a total shock. And, the "good" thing about this type of cancer is that it has a very low tendency to metasticize. I guess the thing here is that with my Mom, it's far easier to rationalize her end of life with the "she had a long, good life" rhetoric. Can't do that with Leah!

Back to the writing stuff: given the circumstances, glad that I wrote most of "Rabid Recall: CH6 - The Intervention"  in the morning yesterday prior to the hospital & daughter stuff; would have been a tough go if I hadn't. Have school tonight, so the plan is to get a head start on chapter 7 of 14/7/1 this morning, since I have some other stuff to attend to after work tomorrow and don't know when I'll waltz back into the house. And awaaaaaaaay we go...
 

Spent considerable time at the hospital last night; Mom's in pretty serious shape. Actually, she's getting over her blood infection, but it appears she may have had a minor stroke. a family meeting is called for immediately after work today, and I don't know how long that's going to take. So I got up a little earlier than normal to get something done with 14/7/1 which is the 6th of 7 chapters. (Would hate to bail on this puppy at this late date). From talking to the people at the hospital last night, there are going to be some new restrictions at the hospital re: visitors, as the flu is starting to get out of control. (What's wrong with that message: "If you're sick, stay the hell away from the hospital")? I think the shortage of vaccine has a lot to do with the sense of "panic" that is starting to permeate the air. Anyway, I'd better get moving on the 14/7/1; plus I still have another contest entry or two I want to complete before the 31st, which is getting here way too fast!


Indelibleink



By most accounts, defies logic by being deemed

by Just an Ordinary Mother

 

Closing in on the big day, ain't we? No, I'm not talking about NaNo, silly, I'm talking about Halloween! (Seriously, get with it). Went over to the 14/7/1 page and was simply aghast to see that yesterday's post had vanished (ghosts?) so resubmitted "Rabid Recall: CH5-Barking Up Wrong Tree" . Whatever happened, we're allowed one late entry during the contest so worst case, this is it. Was kinda weird, though. Chapter 6 falls right into my hands, as the prompt calls for exactly what I was going to do anyway, which is good. Problem is, I have two other halloween themes I want to have short stories written for by Saturday; it's going to be tight, to say the least! Hi-Ho, Hi-Ho, it's off to work I go....