I just want to be held...and wanted ... [More]

Everyone seems to be in a very good mood in the Editing section of the office today. It's a nice change of pace, everyone is being nice and it's a very pleasant atmosphere. I do enjoy days when I am happy in my job! My weekend was awesome. My dad got married on Saturday and I sang at the wedding. I was so ridiculously nervous that half of my body shook like I was having a seizure. I could not stop it no matter what I tried. There were lots of tears, lots of laughs, lots of smiles. Tha... [More]

At least that's what I feel like the world is playing with me right now. I found out last night that Brian, who had told me he was here for "at least" 8 months, is really only stationed here for 4 months (8 if he can get an extension...). I think I spent about 4 hours crying (and drinking) last night; I tried very hard not to let him know how upset I was...but I think it freaked him out anyway. I know a lot of people are telling me to make the most of the 4 months we have and I do in... [More]

So, work continues to be dramatic in the editorial section haha. I am kind of feeling like Ayla in Clan of the Cave Bear, when the clan shuns her by not looking at her, speaking to her, or acknowledging that she is alive. Dani and Smiles (and a few others as well) have been keeping me up in spirits, but maaaaaan it's icy over here! At least my boss seems ok with me haha. I'm kinda a bitch though; I don't play nice anymore. But that's mostly because I'm TIRED of hearing little... [More]

So, as a couple of you know, I'm officially in a relationship with a wonderful guy named Brian. You may have heard of him, actually. He does this fantastic webcomic called geist-panik about a girl who wakes up with strange powers and the ability to see ghosts. She collects them! And sells them on craigslist ;-) It's a hilarious comic. Check it out: http://www.geist-panik.com Brian is out of town this week and I'm finding it hard. I realize it's the very beginning of our relati... [More]

I did my own acrylics this weekend and now I can't stop tapping my nails. I feel all girly and professional...and slightly bitchy? Kinda like I should smell faintly of some J.Lo perfume, have bleach blonde hair, and wear booty shorts. All from acrylics. I kinda hate myself. But I like the nails!... [More]

I think I have been single so long that I have forgotten how to tell if I'm in a relationship. I know how to tell if someone likes me...I mean, it's pretty obvious when they kiss you and say they think they've found what they're looking for...but the whole relationship status thing. I mean. I don't know?? He never officially said anything...well, except.. "you should know, I'm used to being single. I don't really know how to entertain." So, does that mean he... [More]

No, actually it makes me crack up. Seriously... My work is putting on a "Women's Conference" today and attendance is "HIGHLY encouraged." Those who DO choose to take FIVE HOURS of leave time to go to this conference will be party to such intruiging topics as "What to do when you're really upset and you know you're going to cry," or "How the placement of items on your desk can affect your mood and ability to get things done." Perhaps my favorite to... [More]

As...very few of you actually...know, about a month and a half ago, I left a rather poisonous relationship. "The asshole" I think I called him in an earlier post. This guy was an ass from the start, but I am the type of person who expects that in a relationship. To give you a rundown...the guy told me if he ever got me pregnant, I had to get an abortion. He told me there would always be other women and that I should not be able to live without him. In fact, after we broke up, he told me ... [More]

Just so this story does not remain open-ended... So, I went to my boss yesterday after meeting with mini-boss and city girl (my coworkers). I'm a pretty nice person, ok...despite..my...you know...explosions in the last two entries. I told my boss "we" had "come to the consensus" that maybe having the list for people to write what they'd used would not be the best way to go about it and that, instead, "we" had thought maybe "we" could rotate and do a weekl... [More]

Ok, I was pissed before but now I'm livid. My mini-boss...mini-nazi...huge ass bitch...whatever you want to call her...just rolled her eyes and completely got rid of the inventory plan our boss came up with. I'm pissed. I don't know if I should go to my boss and say "Look. I spent 2 hours doing this because you asked me to. Mini-boss wants it not to happen. So could you tell her to shove it up her..." Well, maybe in not such coloful language. ARGH... [More]

I'm pissed. No, really, I'm pissed. The Nag is getting a new freaking name. I'm calling her my "mini-boss" because she seems to think that that's what she is. Our boss gives me a simple project to do (inventory) and after I work on it for a freaking hour mini-boss decides to whine at me "You're not reinventing the wheel on this are you? Because blah blah blah here's why you're wrong blah blah blah and more shit like that...BLAH." Seriously! Shut up! ... [More]

Auuughh! So I was talking to Dani this morning about the dramaticalness (it's a word NOW dammit!) of my life....specifically, the drama that surrounds my love life... OK, so technically I have a whole new cast of characters for this bit, and that is kind of sad BUT! For the sake of integrity, I will name them all (with nicknames...to protect their sanity as well as mine). 1.) The asshole. Yes, that IS his name. I was with him for 5 months, loved the hell out of him, and left him because ... [More]

Dani forwarded me this e-mail. (Sorry, I still haven't come up with a better nickname for you!) Anyway, it's hilarious LETTER FROM THE BOSS: > > As the CEO of this organization, I have resigned myself to the fact that Barrack Obama is our President and that our taxes and government fees will increase > in a BIG way. To compensate for these increases, our prices would have > to increase by about 10%. > > But since we cannot increase our > prices ... [More]

1.) Blog about work. 2.) IM people from my phone about inappropriate things. 3.) Write things for my portfolio. 4.) Look for other jobs. 5.) Contemplate casting a fishing line over to the next cubicle. 6.) Talk to Waltz. 7.) Check my private email incessantly. 8.) Speak in LOLspeak while editing documents. 9.) Say "ish"...ever. 10.) Use elypses incorrectly. 11.) Spell ellipses entirely wrong. 12.) Nothing. 13.) Turn myself in a certain way so that no one can see my face...and... [More]

So during my lunch break I ran to the store to get some clothing items...yes, read the damn title. Ok, so I have to share this because it is a ridiculously awkward and hilarious moment in my day. So I come up to the register with my 2 pairs and this really tiny, really energetic, overly talkative girl is ringing people up. She takes them and says to me "Did you have any problems finding your undies?" Uhmmmmmmmmmm.....no.....no i didn't... [More]

You know, you just start to really not like someone...and then you screw up and they're really nice and make everything mostly ok again. I really screwed up at work, like...really it could've been a huge deal. And, obviously, my supervisor Ms. S is not so happy with me. She kinda snapped at me and I was like...fuck. fuck fuck fuck. And seriously was going to cry, but then my coworker IMs me and tells me to hang in there, we've all messed up...obviously... and yeah. Sooo maybe my c... [More]

I am in a shitty mood today. City Girl and The Nag are sitting behind me talking about their awesome weekends. No one is going to ask me how my weekend was because, oh wait, I don't exist! Ok, so maybe all new jobs are like this. Maybe they all start out with knowing no one and your coworkers not asking you how your weekend was or even remembering to call you in for their little meetings. Maybe it's normal to sit alone in your cubicle doing nothing and wondering when someone will re... [More]

OK, I lied...I do have something to blog about. So I just came back from the bathroom and The Attitude smiles...strangely...and asks me how I'm doing, which he never does. (God i hope he isn't reading this too because that's kinda an insulting name). And it was all just ...so... awkward! I mean, he's socially awkward...I'm ridicuously awkward... and I know that I turned ten shades of pink because I made some weird...joke about the editing police and...god Dani why are... [More]

You know something is wrong with you when you feel the need to hide the fact that you are eating 2, rather than just 1, slice of pizza at work. God forbid!! Even worse, eating it behind your purse while disgusing the fact that you are eating pizza by also eating a cup of greek yogurt with raspberries and flax seed. I mean, obviously not together...but kind of together. ew. So, Dani has been reading my blog and has apparently taken to calling Smiles by the nickname I have given her. (note: I... [More]

It is an evolutionary joke on the human race to have made two genders which mature at such different rates. This is, of course, circumstantial; the rates of maturity in males and females overlap, cross, and swap with one another depending on the individuals being referenced. As a visual depiction, I give you this graph: (Er, before you look...a note. Obviously I created this in Visio and it is not scientifically sound...but it's damn near close!) In this graph, the red line represe... [More]

In case you haven't figured it out yet, I work with a bunch of military people. In case you don't know any military people yourself, let me just say this. In my experience, there are two types of military people (in my case, I work with Marines...but I find this to be pretty translatable across the Services). Type 1 Big Boss Man. Big Boss Man represents approximately 65% of the military people I have encountered in my life. (That number is not statistically sound outside of this blo... [More]

Subtitle? Introduction to the stage and characters of my everyday life. How many jobs have you had in your life? What was your first job? Well, obviously I will answer these questions myself. My first job was as a field hand (sexy, eh?). I was 13 and worked at the local produce farm for minimum wage, sweating daily and earning my farmer's tan with pride. I haven't stopped working since that age. From the farm, I went to work at a grocery store, a library, a preschool, a summer camp, a... [More]

The first time I had sex was really an accomplishment. I mean, I was 19, in a dorm room bed (very narrow, totally not built for 2 full grown people) and I had no idea what I was doing. I'm 22 now and I can still remember that first time; I'm pretty sure I will never really forget it. It hurt, definitely. But only for a second. The guy was good natured and he felt bad that it hurt me, but I was pretty determined to just get the painful part over with. After that initial breakthrough, we s... [More]