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| >> Book >> Action/Adventure >> ID #1595606 |   |
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Standing at the patio windows I watched intently as a car stopped in my drive. My husband with another lady and two men I didn't recognize came up the walkway. I broke out into a sweat wondering what was going on. I heard the front door open then close softly as a chill skittered up by back.Walking silently through the livingroom on the soft beige carpeting was my husband of 20 years. I heard him say as he was walking towards me," Julia, I really hate doing this but I must. For your own good, my dear." I just stared at him wondering what he was getting at. Stopping in front of me he took hold of my hands firmly cupping my fingers tightly in his. I raised my head as he pulled me into his arms hugging me closely to his chest. At the same time the two men came hurrying through the door, with something white hanging over their arms. Grabbing me by the waist roughly yanking me around, they then proceeded to wind this garment around me over and over again! My husband John just stood off to the side not helping me as I tried to free myself. I kept trying to twist around to look at John not believing what I was going through. My arms were tied down to my sides with some kind of straps as I kept shaking my head helplessly! My mind was frantic not knowing what was happening and why! Taking a deep breath I screamed and screamed, that being my only recourse. Fighting the ties that bound me did no good and was exhausting me fast. Someone tried putting their hand over my mouth and I bit them drawing blood. I continued to scream I saw one of the men, bring out a syringe with a needle on the end and felt the sharp pin prick as it was deftly plunged into my arm. Pulling back, I fell against our coffee table landing on the carpet amid broken vases and our Tiffany lamp. Looking at the ruins of broken glass, I compared it to my life and my marriage as I was forced to realize this all had come about with my husbands consent and particapation Slowly things around me began to blurr out of focus. I could feel the tears streaming down my cheeks to drip off my face landing on the soft carpet . My brain and thought processes were being put to sleep with that shot I had been given. No matter how hard I resisted the effort of going to sleep, I knew I could not win over the effects of that drug. I slipped into a deep sleep even though I continued to fight agains't it.My mind could not comprehend what was happening to me! My name is Julia Davis and I have been happily married for 20 years to my high school sweetheart, John. We've raised two children and until just recently I thought we were the ideal couple. That is until I found out inadvertly that John was not who I, in my ignorance, thought he was. How many of us go through life thinking we know that person we are married to but yet we really don't? I would wager if you look around, you will find I am speaking the truth. So many couples start out in love and something, some small insignificant thing, happens and you find that you never really knew that person you married at all. Oh, I'm not saying thats the way it always is,just a good percentage of the time. What started this whole episode is, as I was eating dinner with my sister at a well known eating establishment, in walked John with another woman. That was strange indeed for John rarely had other women friends. A brunette, she was very exotic looking, wearing a dress that wrapped around her slender figure like it was her second skin. She acted like she knew me personally coming straight for my table. As she stopped next to my chair, she extended her hand, saying" So your John's wife," I have so wanted to meet you!" still extending her hand towards me. While John just stood there beside her she continued on," My name is April and John and I are in love"."I believe in laying my cards on the line and make no excuses for sleeping with him" bluntly ending with," Now do you give him a divorce like we want or are you going to be a nasty bitch and make him grovel"? My mind heard what she had said but at the same time I could not beleive it! My breathing all but stopped! I could feel the heat of embarrassement creep up my neck at a fast pace. My sister, sweet person that she is, came up off her chair, looked April in the eye,and swung! Her right hand was clenched tightly in a fist and as it came back she changed direction and aimed for my husband John! He forgot to duck evidently because she hit her mark right on, knocking him into the table beside ours! Food and drinks tumbled on other patrons littering the floor with fragments of glass. John lay among the debris knocked out cold with April huffing around trying to get to where John had landed, mumbling under her breath about crazy people being allowed to dine out in a public place. Can you imagine having the audacity to say that after she interrupted our dinner! Glass crunched under her feet and sparkled on the floor glitterring brightly. Grabbing me by the arm my sis picked up my purse, mentioning to our waiter that John would be picking up the tab along with himself, then whisked me away. Calling for the valet to bring her car around we drove to her home. Crying over what had transpired I climbed out of her car and wearily went up the steps thru the door letting her take my jacket to hang up. As she came thru the breezway she gave me a much needed hug saying I needed sleep and should grab any spare room I wanted. Living by herself in a five bedroom home she had plenty to choose from. First I veered off to a bathroom to clean up and take stock of the situation I was in. My emotions were in an uproar and I was a nervous wreck. Hands shaking I grabbed a bottle of bubble bath to dump into the tub after setting the water knob on warm. Just maybe that would help me to relax. My head pounding from stress I took a long bubble bath soaking for at least an hour refusing to think on the recent past events. Sometimes just making the mind a blank page, shutting out things that hurt us, frees up our mind to heal. At least that is what I have found out. Crawling beneath the blankets after shutting off the lamp my mind kept trying to find answers as to why he would have a mistress or why in the world it had happened to me. Maybe I had become too complacent over the years or just didn't show him enough that he was important to me. All kinds of reasons jumped out at me in the dark but I also knew that I could not accept all the blame for what happened. It takes two to destroy a marriage and two to make it work. Evidently ours was not one of the lucky ones. The house lay in total silence, dark surrounding me as I reflected on my life up to this point. Who would believe after 20 years of marriage it could go up like a puff of smoke. So fast yet so sad! Its bad when a spouse finds out she has been cast aside like so much decayed meat. If I had my options he should have died of food poisoning from this piece of old decayed meat! That would finish him off! Rolling over in my bed, I gave a large sigh and closed my eyes. Tired as I was I fell asleep dreaming of days in the past, and slept soundly to my surprise. My world was complete in my dreams, none of the harsh reality that I had been through intruded in my sleep.. I did not want to face the day so without realizing it, I slept off and on quite a bit. I knew without a doubt that my husband and his whacky girl friend were not through making my life as miserable as they could. There would come a day of reckoning and they would not give up easily. Beings she had the nerve to come straight into an eating establishment to confront me I knew it would not be the last that I heard from them. Only this time coming up I would be ready for them! Early the following morning, with the sun just peeking over the horizon I found myself sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee, an egg and a piece of toast, contemplating the events of the night before. Still with a nagging headache I saw my sister out the door to go to her early morning exercise group at the local gym. Being alone at her home and being in my own cozy home seemed to me such a vast difference that I was feeling uneasy. It was also way to quiet and gave me too much time to think. Why should I be the one not enjoying my own home early in the mornings instead of sitting over here at my sisters? With this thought in my head, I dressed quickly in my jeans and overlarge shirt, grabbed a hairbrush and headed out into the beautiful quickly coming daylight. Running the brush quickly through my waist lenght hair I stuck it in my back pocket. Looking forward to seeing my home again, which was around six blocks away. I saw no one out this early walking or running and all was quiet as I passed other houses. Early mornings are my best time of the day where I can see God's hand clearly as our creator. The way He paints each new day as it comes is just awesome. My house is a small cottage that John and I had renovated earlier in our marriage. Planning to spend our retirement years there we had decorated it to our tastes and enjoyed, at least I thought we did, the subtle colors and pastels that seemed to speak quietly to us. We had spent hours planning out the color schemes and putting in all the amenties to make our lives easier. like a dishwasher, and a vacuum cleaner that came out of the wall and stored back into a wall area after use. The morning was going to be beautiful and as I walked I began noticing lights coming on in different houses. Families that were together. How do you really know about anyone else's pain or troubles unless they tell you? Me, I have a habit of hiding pain or any hurts that I go through, never showing it to the outside world. I draw into myself, becoming quiet and withdrawn. I realize that is not the way to be but I'm me and thats how I've always dealt with hurts Especially when I feel deeply about something. As our children were growing up John and I both tended to not argue or fight around them showing our best sides at all times. Of course we did argue and have our spats but we tried very hard to keep it low keyed around the children. In fact after our daughter was off on her own and married she would often state that she never knew when we had difficulties in our marriage. We were that quiet about it. That probably is not good because it makes us seem as if we just blithly sailed along through life and we did not. After finally coming in sight of my home, I noticed Johns car parked in the drive. Surprised he was here, since I had already assumed he'd be with that old witch he was going with, I walked up to the front door letting myself in quietly with my own key.No one was in the kitchen, or the livingroom so I proceeded into our bedroom. I could hear the shower running in the bathroom off our master bedroom. Never thinking of calling out I glanced up to see two reflections inside the shower door. Giggling and soft voices could be heard coming from inside the shower as I stepped closer to the glass shower doors. Reaching out I slid the glass door back on its rollers staring into the shocked wet faces of John and April totally nude, taking a shower in our home. Of all the insulting unheard of things to do! My speech fled and then on a long drawn out wail I reached in and grabbed April by her hair pulling her completely out of the shower bodily! Of course, John was yelling and trying to grab my arm but his hands were wet and he could not keep a tight grip on me. April fought like a tigress, trying to claw me but as she shoved me up against the sink I felt the handle of my hairbrush in my back pocket. Reaching behind me I pulled it out and slammed her up along side of the head with all the strength I could muster. Wham! Down she slid falling to the floor knocked out colder than a mackeral. I was overjoyed to be putting action behind my thoughts. Lying naked out cold was as good as it gets to my way of thinking! Meanwhile John was hurridly drying and grabbing up his clothes off the floor where he had dropped them earlier. In a frenzy he looked over at me and down at April laying naked on the floor and said," You will come to regret laying a hand on her, believe me!" I just stalked toward him with my hairbrush swinging and he started backing off yelling at me to stop. As he reached down to touch April I took a swing and the brush cracked on his knuckles loudly, so loud I thought for a minute I had broken them! John let out a screech of pain drawing his hand back at the same time I came around and swung again! His nose and lip split wide open spraying blood over April lying on my bathroom floor, all over the front of him and part of the wall. With his eyes watering up and his lips and nose starting to swell, he slid down the bathroom wall, put his head in his hands and moaned loudly holding his mouth and nose. I vaguely heard the slamming of the door downstairs and my sisters voice raised in alarm. "Where are you at"? "I know you came over here after I went to my excerise class." I hollered back as to being in the bathroom as I heard her fast moving steps already approaching the doorway. Looking in at the carnage, her face whitened and she asked me," Did you kill her or what the hell happened in here anyway?"My grip on the hairbrush had not lightened and glancing down at it still in my hand I looked back at her and allowed a small grin to come forth. "I feel so much better today and I'll feel even better once this trash thats littering up my bathroom disappears." At this remark John sniffled, reached over for a bath towell and wiped his face and hands off of the blood. Moaning softly April started to rouse and John quickly threw himself over her protectively all the while holding my gaze. I still could not believe I had did what I did but irregardless it made me feel good about myself, knowing that I had got back a little revenge for the pain they had both caused me. Maybe thats not the way I should be seeing things but thats the way I truly felt. In all honesty I truly think that revenge is so sweet in certain circumstances like this. Bringing the high and mighty down a few notches even though it was only with a small hairbrush feels so good. One well aimed slap in the right place at the right time gets attention!  I watched John help his mistress up off the floor and as he guided her out of the bathroom in her birthday suit, I brought the handle of my brush down on her back side with a resounding smack that could be heard 2 rooms away. She let out an ear piercing screech grabbing her back side moving swiftly out of my reach. The imprint of my brush on her butt, was exactly what I had wished for. Maybe all day would be a "stand up day" for this person who had blithly been a partner in breaking up my marriage. At least I gave her something to remember me by! I know I was being spiteful but I had had enough. My sister strong armed me and marched me protesting through the house and out the door. As I reached the front steps, I burst out laughing and as I did I saw a slight smile quiver around her lips. She was trying so hard not to join in with my mirth! Then she burst out with a loud guffaw, grabbing her stomach, all the while laughing her fool head off! Putting our arms around each other we held on for dear life! After the first few minutes of hilarity I suddenly burst into tears over realizing what a sham my marriage had become. Hiccupping I swiped at my face to clear the trail of tears away. I think I needed that outlet. As we walked away, I glanced back and saw John leading April out the door of our home. He had his arms around her talking to her softly as she rubbed her deirre". It ought to sting like the very dickens! His mouth as he glanced our way was swollen and puffy. His nose had quit bleeding but looked like it was broken. I did not feel a bit of remourse and turned back to face forward again not wanting him to think I cared one whit. As far as I was concerned they both deserved each other. I would probably have charges of abuse levelled against me before everything was said and done but it was well worth it to me! I decided I needed to talk with a lawyer about this issue of divorce and get a few things straight in my own mind. I had no intention of moving out of our house or having him come and go as he pleased, just so he could frolic with his mistress.I wanted anything and all I could possibly get out of our marriage leaving him with as little as possible in this life. Why make it easy on him when he started the ball rolling by stepping outside our marriage to play around? They say that a women scorned is formidable and I firmly believed it! It was early in the day, so I decided to go out and sit on the steps to enjoy the quietness of the outdoors. I have always liked sitting on outdoor steps, watching cars and people go by on their way or coming back from work. My sister and I used to imagine what and where everyone was going to. Kind of like a game with your imagination. Looking down the street I saw a creme colored car slowly coming towards me. Stopping at the side of the curb and parking, a young gentleman opened his car door then came toward me sitting on the steps. In his hand he had some papers. My curiosity was getting the best of me but still I stayed where I was sitting down. I knew it could only be bad news the way my life had been the last few days. Maybe the Lord was trying to bring me in line and teach me to handle different situations in a kinder way. I don't know just a thought that was running through my head as this gentleman stopped at the steps. "Are you Mrs. John Ashly?" he said as he removed his hat and held it in his hand. "Why, yes I am" I replied. "Can I do something for you?" "This is a paper that I am required to give you"."Will you please sign for it"? I did sign for the paper and gave him his pen back. As he was getting ready to leave I stood up to go back inside the house but ran into my sister coming out the front door with a cup of coffee in her hand letting the screen slam behind her. Looking at the caller standing at the base of the steps she asked him if he would like something to drink, which he kindly refused. He then left quickly. Following me inside my sister waited for me to open the missive and read it out loud. It took me a minute to scan the missive than I began to read it out loud, my heart beating rapidly with each word. As I continued to relate what the letter stated I reached back to grab hold of a chair in order to sit down and digest this new bit of exciting news. What a difference form my earlier mood this one paper had accomplished! I could feel my heart lightening up and some of my previous bad mood disappear with each word. Reading the paper quickly I deciphered that an aunt of mine had passed away leaving me in her will to the tune of several millions of dollars including real estate. I had to show up at her lawyers office to sign papers that would make me an instant millionaire since she had taken a liking to me in my growing up years. I could barely remember her, but my sister did mention that she knew the one whom I was referring to. I would see her occasionally during the summers and she enjoyed talking with me because I was the quiet one of all the children. My sister had always been the more verble one of us. Excitement began to course through me at the prospect of never having money worries again. That of course did not mean I still would let John off the hook, it just gave me more back-up to make him pay. But I wondered what John would now think of my new financial status? This could turn out to be leverage I could use if I wanted him back but I now was not so sure I did. After all what he had done to me was unforgiveable to my way of thinking. I wanted to make him grovel and take him to the cleaners no matter what. Its so hard to let go of bitterness and hate when someone has replaced you after so many years. I think I deserved at least a little respect and I did not feel that I was given a fair shake. This was my reasoning for continueing to harbor a grudge agaisnt April and John. Looking at the date on the missive I realized I had to appear in my deceased aunts laywers office at ten a.m. the next morning. It was only a few blocks away which surprised me but I was glad. This way I did not have to search for a parking place and could just walk there. Besides the walk would refresh me and do me a world of good as far as exercise. I was looking forward to that meeting with the lawyer even though I had not ever met this particular one. I did not travel in that group of elite people usually, preferring the simpler kind of everyday working people, not the blue collared ones. Laying the signed paper on the kitchen table, I poured me a drink of water. A millionaire isn't born everyday you know but the God's at this time were smiling on me. What a lucky draw of the cards, I exhalted to myself. Taking a large swallow of my water I sat it down and picked up the paper again quickly scanning it over once again. As the day passed I could not believe my good fortune. Although I felt bad that my Aunt had to die in order for me to get my inheritence thats the way life dealt us a hand once in awhile. My sister more or less just watched me speculatively not saying much at all about my new found wealth. She continued being quieter than usual through out the whole evening even to retiring to bed earlier than usual. Still my mood was up so high that I did not pay any particular attention to her lack of excitement on my good news. After all her husband had left her well off and if she couldn't stand for someone else getting ahead then maybe we would end up having a difficult time in our family relationship. Either way I refused to let her attitude bother me in the least. Laying the signed paper on the kitchen table, I had to get a drink of water, just then realizing I would soon be travelling in a different group of people. A millionaire isn't born everyday you know but the God's at this time were smiling on me. What a lucky draw of the cards, I exhalted to myself. Taking a large swallow of my water I sat it down and picked up the paper again just looking it over once again. As the day passed I still could not believe my good fortune. Although I felt bad that my Aunt had to die in order for me to get my inherientence thats the way life dealt us a hand once in awhile. My sister more or less just watched me speculatively not saying much at all about my new found wealth. She continued in being quieter than usual through out the whole evening even to retiring to bedrealier than usual. Still my mood was up so high that I did not pat any particular attention to her lack of participation in my good news. After all her husband had left her well off and if she couldn't stand for someone else getting ahead then maybe we would end up having a difficult time in our relationship. Either way I refused to let her bother me in the least. Walking back to my sisters place I explained to her what had transpired. She was in awe that I had even continued to go on to the lawyers instead of coming back to change. But when I get stubborn nothing can change my mind. Meanwhile I had to do something about that little act that John and April had pulled off agaisnt me. They would not be allowed to continue harrassing me if I could do anything about it. After taking a shower and leaving my clothes to soak in the sink, I sat down on the sofa to think over the days happenings. I'm not sure about being alone so I had decided with my sister to bunk over here with her until I could come to grips with the situation. The phone broke in on my thoughts and when I went to answer all I heard was a faint noise in the background then a clic. After hanging up it happened again. The third time the phone rang I could hear heavy breathing in the back ground then the phone went dead. All I could guess at was maybe it was a crank call from John wanting to scare me. I honestly didn't think I have any straight out people that don't like me except for John and April. Putting my pajamas I brushed my teeth and went to bed turning out the lights as I went. My sister had retired early and I could hear her steady breathing in her room. Looking out my bedroom window the streets looked devoid of cars and people. It appeared to be a very quiet summer night. A starnge feeling causing the small hairs on my neck caused me to wake up and try to rient myself to my surroundings. I had been sleeping soundly but a feeling or a strange noise entered my sub consous mind. Gazing around trying to get the slleiness out of my head I did not see anything unusual but the feeling of forboding still hung around causing my heart to beat fast. Sliding out of bed as quietly as I could, I slowly softly went over to my window just in time to see a car slowly driving away on the street from the front of my sisters house. I thought to myself that was a little strange at two-o-clock in the morning when I knew even my sister was sleeping warm under blankets in her room. Plus I heard not a whisper of sound from that area. Thinking on all this I decide I had best check out the rest of the house before settling down again for the night. Especially since we had had those hang ups ealier in the evening. Somehow I had it in my mind that the two things were linked together but Ihad no proof. Without proof it would amount to nothing. Pulling on a robe, I descended out into the hallway quietly listening for any disturbance of the silence of the night. So far so good I thought as I moved stealtily into the living room leaving all the lights off as I went. With just the moonlight casting a glow over everythig I could still make out the furnishings in the room fairly well. I could do this I thought with no problem as long as I did not let my imagineation come into play. So I kept moving from room to room giving a careful look at each one to see if anything was amiss. The last room I was headed for was the kitchen area and to get there I had to turn a corner for me to be able to see the entire area. Soft moonlight bathed the floor and the counters giving the area a peaceful clean orderly look. Nothing was disturbed on first glance until my eyes fell on the counter by the stove. An array of buther knives was centered on the counter gleaming in their sharpness by the moonlight giving them an erie look. Lined up in precision form there they sat looking evilly back at me waiting for what? Someone to pick them up and use them? They had not been there previously because my sister was a neat fanatic and would not have left them out like that. The drawer where she had stored them was closed and they just lay there in a long row with the cutting edges gleaming off them wickedly. In all there had to be 6 of them lined up altogether. Looking around with my heart beating hard in my chest I slid my eyes over to the kitchen door leading to the outside courtyard. There on the pristine white door was a message smeared in red paint or something looking to be blood. Going closer I coud see it was probably ketchup but the message itself was frightening to me. It only said" Bitch" but that in itself and knowing the knives were still lined up on the counter behing me gave me a panicky feeling. I wanted to get away from the whole scene and started backing up slowly my eyes still making contact with that darn message. My feet moving ever slowly backwards I felt a sharp point sticking my back which caused me to go no further in my effort to get out of the area. My heart pllummeted inmy chest and my breath all but stopped as I started to turn around to see what was preventing me from escaping this whole horrible scene. Images of knifed people came into my mind and a quick glance at the counter showed a knife was missing since I had first investigated the kitchen! Who was behind me holding the knife to my back? I could not hear them breathing or see any shadows in the moonlight at all. My fear was palatable and my heart was doing flip-flops threatening to burst right out of my chest. Lord help me for being a fool and investigating this on my own. Anyone else would have called in the policeman or at least someone and here I am being stupid coming into a dangerous suspicious area with no thought of my safety. Talk about dumb! That's me in a nutshell! I may not live through it but you have to admit it was dumb of me. Feeling the knife break the skin on my back causing a small dribble of blood to appear my whole body started to tremble with fear. I only prayed my dear sister would not awaken and walk in on what was sure to be my demise. I would hate to have this person take her life also when it was my stupidy that would have caused it to come about in the first place anyway. As my assailant stood there in silence I all of a sudden could detect a slight smell of perfume wafting by my nose. Just a miniscle odor that I had not detected earlier. Trying to control a response to turn and grab a hold of whomever had the knife sticking into my back, I just stiood shaking all over with a feeling of doom. I know whomever it was standing behind me so quietly could feel the tremors running the complete lenngth of my body. How could I have let myself get into this kind of dangerous position in the first place. Kind of ironic to be getting a divorce, become an overnight millionaire then die at the hands of an unknown assailant. What could be worse than to be brought low then flying high then have your life in all probablity snuffed out before you could enjoy the millions of dollars you inherited? In a split second that it would take to blink your eye, lights flashed on and I felt the knife taken away from my back and heard a scream as someone was wrestled to the floor sobbing. Looking behind me I saw my sister with two uniformed police officers standing beside her and one handcuffing another woman. This lady, which I shouldn't call her looked terribly familiar, it being April, my husbands new mistress. The policeman had all he could do to keep her wrists pinned behind her while he fastened the cuffs around them. Talk about screeching and caterwaulling! It was enough to wake a city block and then some. Pulling her to her feet they then marched her out to a waiting police cruiser and settled her in the back seat with another officer. Meanwhile my sister grabbed me giving me a tremendously big hug with tears of relief streaming down her face. I was still in a shock over things going down so fast and coming out of it with just a small nic on my back. My sister said she had heard a few small stealtily made footsteps that she wasn't used to hearing and she also had smelled a strange perfume so she went ahead and dialed the police emergency number alerting them to a possible prowler in her home. They arrived without lights or sirens in order to have the element of surprise. I was so elated over just being alive that my tears kept cascading down my cheeks as fast as I wiped them away. Upon filling out some paperwork and talking with the policeman I felt totally drained and exhausted. My sister stayed by my side until it was over and kept me supplied with fresh cups of coffee. My hands trembled and she put a band-aide on my knife cut for me. Talking with the Lieutenant I realized he was very nice looking and around the same age as I was. he must work out somewhere because he had the body to show it with his slim muscled physicque. I did notice that he also asked me my name twice and if I was married or not. I mentioned demurrly that I was in the process of getting a divorce and that my husband had slept with another woman a few weeks back. He gave the usual responses of being sorry that that had happened but he also appeared to like what he was looking at right now, which was me. I was not really interested in someone else at this time but its nice to be looked at, don't you agree? But the big thing is, I would not want to cheat while still married to my husband or I would be guilty of the same thing he did to me! Thats the thing all cut and dried. Suffice it to say it was a very long night and as the sun was just peeking over the horizon everyone had left and clean-up was in order. My hands shook as I put the knifes back in their respective places, all except the knife that that nice Lieutenant took with him for evidence. He said they would might need it for fingerprints and it could come in useful. So off he went with that in a plastic bag after disposing of his vinyle gloves that he had used to place it in the bag. Too me he seemed to know his work and was very knowledgeable on it. After bidding us good-night he closed the door and climbed in his patrol car wiith both my sister and I watching from our doorway. Entering the house again we tidied up and just sat around too done in to accomplish much. Besides I think the adrenaline rush had us going so fast that we needed time to unwind before we could lay back down for a few hours of much needed rest. One thing for certain I was not going to sleep so deep this time since the whole episode had me just a bundle of nerves. It had crossed my mind wondering where John was holing up while his girl friend was accosting me in my sisters home. I just simply could not believe that she would conceive of the idea by herself and he wasn't a party to it. As I was talking with my sister I kept glancing out the window expecting anytime to see his face staring back in at me. But no such luck and I can only supppose he took off when the police showed up. Because when they came in this house was all allight like the Fourth Of July Fireworks without the bang! Who wouldn't cut and run? If I was in his shoes I would have did the same thing and hope the other person would shut-up. Now we would find out tomorrow just what April had to say in her defense as to wether she had worked alone or with an accomplice. At least thats what that kind Lieutenant had to say about the whole disasterous affair of the night. Tired and wore out I ambled off to crawl under the blankets for a nap. My sister had followed me turning into her doorway and wishing me a fitful sleep. I left a small lamp burning until full daylight would come in shining brightly to awaken me at my windows. I think I just felt very vulnerable at this time. My back still stung from the knife point but at least I was alive to feel it. Things could have turned out a lot worse and I did not want to contemplate how much worse. I awoke to the rattle of pots and pans in the kitchen and the sun shining across my bedroom floor brightly. Turning over, I saw by my clock that the time was way past ten-o-clock and as I started to rise up out of my bed my back emitted a small fissom of pain. I remembered the knifepoint breaking the skin the night before so I moved gingerly from my bed to the bathroom. Brushing my teeth I saw my sister thru the doorway cracking eggs into a skillet of shortening evidently for our breakfast. My stomach rumbled at the smell of bacon frying in the skillet and hot coffee wafting toward me. I realized I had not ate much for while and felt ravenous. Putting plates on the table and pouring us each a cup of coffee She hollored at me to rise and shine before catching sight of me brushing my teeth. Walking into the kitchen in my robe and slippers I pulled out a chair to sit on reaching for a cup of hot coffee. As my sister sat my plate of eggs and crisp bacon in front of me, my stomach rumbled loudly again letting her know I was starving. She grinned at me and sat down buttering her toast as she did. My appetite had always been a joke between us growing up, me eating like a horse gone wild and never gaining and her eating very little and packing on the pounds. Go figure! Ha! Some things are meant to bring a laugh to your face and this did it for us! Chuckles emitted from the both of us as we enjoyed our breakfast time. A knock on the door interrupted our hilarity and my sister went to answer it bringing back that nice young Lieutenant with her. He apologized for disturbing our morning but wanted to let us know what his investigation so far had revealed. We asked him to join us for breakfast which he refused saying he had already eaten. But he did take a cup of black coffe which made him appear more friendly than refusing everything. As he talked he leaned up against our kitchen sink taking short drinks out of his cup. He told us that April had refused a lawyer saying she was solely responsible for the knife point attck. He hesitaed to say what would happen to her but said they still had to question John to see what he knew. So far John had not turned up anywhere and they had searched high and low. If April knew of his where abouts she wasn't talking about it, at least right now. The lieutantant said they would keep her as long as they could and let us know when or if she was released. That was about all we learned except if I heard from John I was to contact the police right away. I and my sister wholeheartedly agreed with that assessment. What else could we do but wait for him to turn up? Its crazy how life turns out isn't it. John had disappeared and from what I could tell no one had any inkling as to his where abouts. April kept denying any knowledge of where he was and he had not contacted my sister or me. I called each of my grown children and the had no idea of where he was even though they were still upset with his actions toward me. Thye did not think their dad would bother calling them knowing they would be very upset over the whole ugly episode. What kids wouldn't be riled if their dad were to walk out on their mother after forty years? All children want to believe their parents are above the baser inclinations of lusting after someone else while still married and John had failed them. Rumors travell fast in a small town like ours and they could not help but be informed of what happened by a few close gossips that picked up anything to spread. they do this with relish and are so pleased when they have something to talk about especially something as delicious as adultery. It was probably spreading before I caught John and April in my shower. I might have been the only one that was not aware of it happening beneath my nose until last. One never really knows do they? All I knew was that the hurt was tremendous and my heart broke in two pieces. What else can I say when I speak of this? After having dealt with all the paperwork for my unexpected inheritence, I just wanted to bask in the knowledge of having so much extra money to spend however I saw fit. Just to know I had no money woories took a big burden off of my mind. The elation, the freedom of it was awesome. I wish more people could feel like I did at that moment. As the days wore on and no one heard from John or saw hide nor hair of him people became very concerned. One did not just disappear did they, with no good reason and leave their mistress behind. April was in hysterics over being released from jail on good behavior and a sizable bail paid, then to find no trace of John anywhere was just too much. Often I would pick up my phone to hear her on the other end politely enquiring as to if I had heard anything from him. Talk about a crazy time in my life, I was going through it! The mistress of your husband calling the wife asking about the same man. For Pete's sake! what a switch! Just as things were settling down to at least a little routine instead of being so hectic April disappeared herself, missing her hearing in front of the judge. To say I was very disappointed is minor, I was so hoping she would be held accountable for trying to do me harm. No one knew what happened to either her or John but rumors were running wild. Some thought that she finally went to be with John knowing where he was all the time, but acting concerned about his absence. Others wondered if she met with a bad end by some people that had voiced their hatred of the man- stealing woman. It was up for grabs the reason she disappeared but they did have a warrant out for her arrest. Her picture was in all the papers linked right along with John's really making the dirty linen in our family well known. I could hardly bear to go for long walks anymore or to the local store for groceries. People would look at me with pity in their eyes or talk behind their hands in groups all the while staring at me. I could let down my hair so to speak with my sister as others were just too curious as to what was going on in my life. I refused to feed the gossip mill so being that way they added their own juicy morsels to each telling. there was no way to stop the gossip mill from talking no matter who got hurt. It was a double edged sword either way. I would sit out back in the yard and read or do a little mending of our clothes not wanting to watch the television for I might see pictures of John and April on it. Where they were was anyone's guess and I had quit trying to figure out their disappearance. No bodies were found and their personal affects were all accounted for so I had no idea myself. The one bright spot in my life was I could move back home and take up my life again even though I would miss being with my sister. But I also knew its had to live with someone else even on a part time basis. Being alone was not my cup of tea but I had to get used to it sooner or later so I might just as well do it. Packing up my few items I hugged my sister goodbye and walked out her door. With a juanty wave I turned toward home once more with a lighter though fearful heart. What would I find at my home? Did it get destroyed by the two who destroyed me? of late in which he said he would be right over. I passed several neighbors who waved at me as I continued to walk with my head down trying to be as unostrusive as possible. Some even hollored "hello" or "good morning" to me. But with all the rumors flying around I was too humilated to stop and chat even for a few minutes. Rounding the curve in the sidewalk I saw my home and to me it was a welcome sight! So pretty and cozy looking even though when I had first left it, it held bad memories. Now I was just happy to be able to come back home even though John was not a factor in it anymore. I had been in this house so long I felt its happiness radiating out to me causeing me to have a deep relief on being able to move back in. Its odd how you can be attached to a material thing but it happens. It did to me. For some people its cars, others it might be clothes but for me it is my home. A place to belong that I can relax in. Taking my key out of my jeans pocket I inserted it in the front door lock with some trepidition. What would I find upon entering after so long? Would it be a complete mess or in disarry? I really had no inkling but I had to enter sometime and what better time than now. I had wished I had asked my sister to come with me this first time but I hadn't thought of it so here I was alone. Damm! Sometimes I just don't think straight and rush right in where I shouldn't. So be it I thought to myself shoving open the front door. The first thing I noticed upon entering was the stale smell of cigarette smoke and beer. Reaching to open the kitchen window I felt the balmy breeze play upon my face. Thats better I thought. Then my next item of the day was to check out the den and see what shape it was in. Coming from the kitchen I noticed the den looked almost too clean, I mean Mr. Clean clean! No dust, no nothing out of place. Weird I thought to myself moving toward each of the bedrooms. They too looked picture perfect and the bathrooms had been extra clean, not even dirty towels in the bin. New bars of soap placed on the sink and tub as if company was expected, new face cloths and towels that I myself had not bought. So strange.. Going back through the den than on into the kitchen I checked the oak cupboards for canned foods and what ever else I might need to stock up. Then the refrigerator was next and it showed to be as well stocked as my cupboards which did not make sense to me. The carton of milk I pulled out was dated ahead one week which to my estimation meant it was fresh, but I wondered who had bought it? John and April were missing so it couldn't have been them but this whole scene was erie. Should I call the police but what in heavens name could I report? That someone had stocked up my refrigerator and cupboards? They would have a great laugh in the department over the crazy person living here, namely me! No, I could not do that so what to do? Maybe I should just go on and ignore the whole business unless something else came up then report it then? yes, I told myself thats the answer. Believe me, this starting to have conversations with myself is scarey especially if someone else hears me! Oh! My! I have to stop this! For the rest of the evening I more or less just relaxed and rechecked everything in the house reassurring myself all was fine and accounted for. I had been worried April might have made some of my jewelry her own and some of it had precious memories especially ones left to me by my deceased mother. I would never be able to replace them in my life time and I had made up my mind a long time ago never to relinquish them for nothing. After my death they would be passed onto my daughter to continue passing them on. To me that is how a tradition begins, with someone taking the first step. John and I had both several years ago made our wills out and agreed on how to divide things among our children. Of course with me now being a new millionaire things would have to different. I had no intention on sharing anything of value with John ever, my wrath was so great. But I will not continue on in that theme, I have to learn to let some things go. But it is so hard. Getting ready for bed I turned down the coverlet and switched my lamp to dim. Opening the bedroom window just a crack to let the evening breeze carress my skin I delighted in the fresh feel of silky sheets. The bliss and peacefullness of it surrounded me sending me off to dreamland. It was a night of uninterupted sllep for me and my body rejoiced in it. A good nights sleep does so much for a persons outlook on life. As I climbed out of bed in the early morning sunlight I rushed around grabbing my robe heading into the kitchen for a nice cup of strong black coffee. I knew orange juice would be healthier for me but I needed that one cup of coffee in the mornings to get ready for the day. Sort of an energizer, a wake-up call if you know what I mean. Putting the coffee filter inthe percolator than filling it up with fresh water it wasn't long before I smelled the fresh coffee scent. I grabbed a couple of fresh eggs out of the refrigerator, cracked them in a skillet and started cooking them along with two slices of bacon. Hmmm, it smells so good and my stomach was groaning again in protest of having to do with out for so long. i could hardly wait to taste the first bite of egg and hurriedly finished cooking them. Putting them on my plate I started eating with gusto and finished before I realized that my plate was wiped clean. Picking at the toast crumbs that had fallen onto my plate I took it over to the sink and started washing my few dishes. Instead of drying and putting them away, I left them to drain dry in the dish rack emptying my dirty dishwater down the sink. Wrapping up the broken eggshells I deposited them in the garbage receptacle to take out later by the drive. The trash men would be picking the container up and emptying it before noon. As far as putting my house back to rights there was nothing for me to do. It was so clean and the only thing I had to do was air it out the night before by opening a few windows to let the breeze blow through. I decided to go shopping for a few new clothes while I had the courage to go out in public. Putting on my clothes I grabbed my sandels and started hiking down the sidewalk toward town. Saying hello to anyone I ran into that time of the morning boosted my moral up quite a bit especially since since so far no one had tried to bring up the rumors. Maybe I would live through this with only a small amount of scars from all the talk. One could only hope. After all there had to be new fodder for gossip floating around other than just me. Others have things happen to them too so get off the discussion of me, is basically what I thought inside. I went into a few of the clothes stores like J.C.Penny's and found some real good buys that I stocked up on underwaer, bras and a few essntials for the bath. I had been so used to living frugally Iwas having a hard time spending money and found myself bargain hunting. It's hard to change routines when you've been one way all your life but I imagine eventually I would. My cell phone rang and it was my siser wondering how things were going today. I told her I was out shopping and enjoying every minute of it. After all I had money to spend if I wanted to and so far no one had approached with pity intheir eyes for what I had been through. Arriving home, I opened the door to put my bundles on the table in the kitchen. Looking at the table I spied two plates with left over food on them with the silverware neatly laid across them. It was almost like someone had ate breakfast then went to do something else and left their plates. Two beverage glasses had orange juice residue in them and were neatly sitting next to the pates. I knew they were not there when I had left earlier and it sent a frissom of alarm through me. The small hairs on the back of my neeck stood on end and my hands started to tremble. I knew I had locked my doors before I had went to do shopping so how could anyone get in and why would they eat breakfast and leave. I wondered if someone was trying to drive me over the edge or put me inhysterics. Whatever I was close to breaking down with all the weird things going on. Again who would believe anything was wrong with just two dirty plates left on a table? It may not seem like so much but to me it was a mountain! I had no inkling of even how to explain what was happening. Meanwhile I hurriedly put my clothes away in the drawers,after checking the locks on the other doors. They were all locked as I well knew so how anyone had managed to get in I had no idea. The only person other than me was John and he was still missing I had been told again and again. So who could have gotten in my house and took the time to eat breakfast.? Who would have the audacity to do that in the first place? Picking up he plates and despositing them in soapy water I began to wash them thinking all the while. When the phone rang I hurriedly dried my hands on a hand towell and grabbed it still in deep thought. On the other end was that nice Leutenant that had first investigated the incident with Johnand April. The one where I was assaulted with a knife. He asked after my health and after I was a little preocccuoied on answering his question he wanted to know what was wrong. Of course I skimmed over whathad been happening Heading to the bathroom to check my make-up I hurridly ran a comb through my hair. There was no hope for me I thought as I glanced into the mirror, my eyes as big as saucers. It was nice to have someone care enough to stop in and check on me though. I could get used to that easy enough. It had been so longsince someone other than my sister had just cared enough to ask me what was wrong instead of looking on me with pity in their eyes. Maybe this was just what I needed. Looking out the kitchen window I saw his cruiser stop in front of my house and as I watched he slid out of the seat standing alloking all aound. I could tell he was taking in details, in fact his job called for that so it was probably a built in thing with him. I knew almost zilch about him but some inate feeling caused me to trust this man explicitly. It's hard to explain. But like I said I had to watch myself around him it would be so easy to start something up with him and I was still married. Still the urge was string and I must say the attraction caused me to temble when he was near. I had wondered if he felt the same towards me when he was in my vicinty? If he did he nevershowed it or did anything out of the way. Which was probably commendable for his values. I'm not so sure that with a little encouragement from him, I could have stayed on the straight and narrow, especially with what I had been through so far with John. Knocking on the door, I hurriedly went to answer it. Standing there with a gentle smile, he entered and followed me to the kitchen. Taking a seat at the table he looked as if he belonged there. Everything about him exuded his maleness and as he accepted a cup of coffee our hands brushed togetherslightly causing a stirring in my blood. I would have to be very careful around him if I wanted to stay faithful to John until my divorce. But I needed to find John first. One thing for certain the attraction was there and I could tell by the darkening of his eyes he felt something also. As we conversed I found myself opening up as to what had been going on around here. He listened quietly while taking drinks of his coffee letting me get it out of my system. Quietly I finished talking and refilled his cup along with mine. Sitting there I felt a close companionship with this man that I had not felt in a long time with anyone. How could that be when I was not even aware he existed up until a few weeks ago? Sitting there looking all male, my voice trailed off as he reached over to clasp one of my hands. His skin was rough with some callouses which led me to believe he did some type of manual labor on the side along with being a leiutenant. His fingernails were short and clean and he exuded a woodsy cologne that complimented his maleness. His shirt was unbuttoned at the neck showing a spattering of chest hair peeking out. He sat leaning over towards me in his chair taking in every word I said. Tears sparkled in my eyes at the gentle look in his eyes, full of caring not pity. I knew that he felt my pain over what I had to endure, one could tell just by looking into his eyes and his hand covering mine gently. Every so often he would give my hand a gentle squeeze letting me know he knew what pain and hurt I was feeling. You have to remember that I had not had anyone show compassion for awhile and it felt so right at this time even though the deep feelings could not be allowed to go any further. Besides he was a virtual stranger up until a few weeks ago. Finishing up with the events through this morning, I pulled my hand from his grasp and stood up. He stood at the same time, taking my hand once again but this time pulling me in toward his chest closely. I coulld hear his steady heart beat being this close and closed my eyes feeling as if my world was now safe. I let myself relax against his chest listening to his soft endearing words of comfort for a few minutes of time. It felt so comfortable to be held by someone that I had a hard time letting go. He was like a rock in his steadiness. Asking if he would want another refill on his coffee, he said he needed to get back out on assignment but that he would like to stop in again just to see how I was faring if that would be fine. I looked into his eyes and hesitaingly agreed that would be fine as long a it was just coffee. I knew an attraction was there between us and it kind of scared me. I was new at this kind of scene and very unsure of myself and my feelings. John had kind of made me cast doubt on myself and my ability to hold a man. After all we had been married quite awhile and something happened between us to cause him to look elsewhere. Was it something I hadn't did or what that caused him to stray? Those questions filled my mind as I gave ----his answer that he was waiting for. Any wife is bound to wonder especially when on the surface things had appeared normal and happy. Putting our empty cups in the sink, I walked out to his police cruiser parked in my drive, with him. Standing at the car door I for a minute felt reluctance to have him go. Its as if a bond had been forged and I hated to lose it. I could tell by his lingering by the car that he did not want to leave either but his job came first so as he climbed inthe seat and swung his door closed as I stepped away from the car. With a shy grin and a wave he started the car up and pulled away from the curb. Waving back to him I stood there watching his taillights go down the street. It had been wonderfull having someone who really cared to just sit and listen to my problems for awhile without asking all kinds of personal questions or just digging for gossip. What was happening to me? I have never looked at anyone else other than my husband and I liked looking at---wanting to feel his touch. Is that how John first started with April, just talking over coffee or drinks, then realizing their was an intimancy there? A bond or attraction that gave you a feeling of wanting more? I mulled these thoughts over walking back into my house just wondering why in heavens name I would reach out like that to a virtual stranger! That was just not me but I know he felt it too. Why else would he be coming back to see me. He meets other women all the time in his line of work, but he wanted to come here specifically to see me. I was flattered don't get me wrong it just didn't set easy with me being married so long to John. When you get used to one person for so many years its hard to change and start looking at other guys without feeling just a niggling of guilt. At least thats what I thought. It felt like I was cheating on John and he had already did that to me! Crazy! I know but that was how I felt. After entering the house it came to me it felt lonely after having--around that few hours. I must have felt pretty safe talking with him beacause now I was at a loss as to what to do with the rest of my night. I had always had someone around not just my own self so it was hard to deal with the silence. Even when John had been in the den watching television I at least knew he was around and close by. Now I was aware it was just me wandering around picking up this item from the table, shutting off a lamp, or sorting through yesterdays mail. There has to be a routine that families of one have and I just needed to find out what mine was. I knew it would all take time and also knew I had plenty of that. Heading towards my bedroom, my thoughts were running rampant when the doorbell rang. Turning around I walked to the door and turned on my porch light at almost the same time pulling the door open to see who my late night visitor could be. Imagine my surprise to discover it was John furtively coming in and latching the door behind him! Of all people I did not expext John to reappear! My mouth was agape as I looked at him and I moved to the phone to call the police. He was one step ahead of me, grabbing the phone from my hand and placing it back into the cradle. My heart beat irradically and I felt light headed which I know was probably fear coursing through my body! John looked so disheveled and frumpy that I had a hard time relegating this man standing in front of me to being the same man I was married to for so long. Where had he been and what did he want from me? Why was he here and where was April, his one true love according to what they had said all along. I did not understand and as I watched his eyes dart here and there coldly I grew fearful for my life. He held tightly to my arms having them twisted up behind my back and I knew better than try to fight him. He was dangerous and so much stronger than me, I did not want to get him anymore rattled than he was. What could I do to help myself with this maniac on the loose not saying anything that made sense? Dragging me ahead of him by pushing against my arms from my back to propel me towards the bedroom, he grabbed a bathrobe tie and proceeded to bind my wrists together behind me. Pulling the bonds so tight I gave out a little whimper he smiled at me and I could see he enjoyed knowing he caused me pain. Tears started welling up behind my eyelids against my will and I hurriedly blinked them away knowing he would have no mercy on me. Pushing me into a bedroom chair he told me in no uncertain terms that he had heard through others that I had money now and he was planning on sharing the loot with me. If I gave him any problems over it he would see I was classed as insane and make it stick. After all he was a model husband until he met April but she was out of the picture now. What he meant by that remark I did not at the time want to know. I had all I could do just sitting listening to him rant and rave. He wanted to live the way we had before minus April. But my mind kept screaming, Where's April?" I had such a fear of asking any questions and I just knew I was close to blacking out from the fear itself and knowing my hands were bound behind me. John just kept going on and on about us staying married and how happy we could be now with my million dollar inheritence. I knew with all my heart I could not go back with John as my husband, he had killed that love, so what could I do to get out of this predicament? I knew all he really wanted was the never ending money and I was not about to stay married to one who had sunk that low in my estimation. As time passed John seemed to do all the talking not giving me a chance to respond. After an interminable amount of time had passed he asked me if I was in agreement with his plan and I whispered "no" so low I thought he might have trouble hearing me. I watched his expression on his face and his eyes became hard as polished rock. The smile left his face and he brought his fist back with a vengance. My head snapped back with such an explosion of pain coursing down my neck and shoulder I thought for sure he had broken my neck or cheekbone. I fell backwards on the bed with my wrists still bound behind me causing extra pain and agony on my arms and shoulders. Not being able to put my hands up in front of my face for protection left me vulnerable to John's violent attack. Grabbing me by the neck and hauling me up off the bed he bodily slammed me up against the dresser which such force it caused the mirror to shatter into millions of fragments coating me, and the floor on which we stood. Seeing blood spatters I felt the whole world slip out of focus and slid down to the floor among the glass particles all the while hearing the hard crunch of glass under my dead weight. Then I heard no more until a loud knocking at the front door alerted me that I was still among the living. Blearily looking around I could hear the pounding but my body hurt so bad I was leery of moving. Pain radiated all over and my arms were so stiff from lack of circulation from landing on them while still being bound on the floor. Crunching glass sounded loud in my ears as I tried valiently to move just to get to the door. My voice came out so low when I went to yell that I began to imagine I hadnn't said anything in the first place. Only a croak emmitted from my throat. Moving at all was sheer torture especially when I felt glass cutting into my flesh upon trying to roll over on my back. Struggling to rise I could not grip anything to pull myself up on with both hands tied behind my back. Shakey and crying I felt myself sink back into a state of unawareness on the floor pulling over the coffeepot as I slid back down weakly. The cord had evidently got caught on me when it hanging loosely down the side of a cabinet. Coming to awareness slowly, my swollen eyelids opened painfully and I found myself staring into a vivid set of gray eyes staring back at me with concern.-----Looking like an avenging angel he gently held me in his arms, reassurring me that help was on its way and to just hang on. My pain kept me fading in and out only catching part of his conversation but I felt safe being held cradeled in his arms. My body ached tremendously with each breath that I took and tears streamed from my eyes helplessly. I could not seem to stop the steady flow of tears and as I cried I could feel his tears mingle with mine. This was so awesome and it felt good to have someone there that cried along with this hurting soul. Hearing sirens in the background I knew that he had called an ambulance and other back up to help. Holding unto him even more tightly, he yelled for the paramedics to come on in after they alerted him to their presence. Moving back away from me so they could check my injuries I felt befreft and alone. He did not go very far and was telling them how he just had decided to come back, saw the shadows through the window, of my husband and I fighting, which resulted in the breaking down of my door. From then on out my husband had managed to get clean away while--came over to check on my condition. Instead of giving chase -- decided he had best stay where he could see me. That was the story I later heard. Meanwhile as the paramedics were checking me over I kept my eyes on---. It was very clear I did not feel as safe as I usually did. The whole experience had unnerved me and I could not quit shaking. My body had numerous small cuts and abrasions all over of which the medics doctored up but other than a sedative they could do nothing for my overworked nerves. I refused a sedative and they packed up their bags and equipment to pull out. Letting me know I should have myself checked out by my family physician first thing in the morning they proceeded out the door. Turning around --looked at me and folded me into his arms again just as another detective came into the room. With his rumpled trenchcoat on and his hat brim pulled low he seemed the serious type. He kind of reminded me of the guy on the show "Columbo" that used to be so popular on television a few years ago. Looking at --still holding me cradled in his arms he wisely kept his thoughts on us to himself. Even though--still continued to hold me I tried to draw apart but he just held me closer refusing to relinquish me. I am not used to being demonstartive in front of others. My sister had been contacted and came rushing in to see what was going on. Grabbing me up and hugging me she glared at -- wanting answers as to what the hell happened and why she was the last to know. She was very upset and ended up bursting into tears as --guided her to a chair and handing her a glass of ice-cold water. Taking a cool drink, she appeared to pull herself together and wanting to know what was being done about finding John. She also demanded to know why --happened to be in the vicinty so ofton lately and if his superiors knew of this. Thats my sister for you always full of questions and not waiting for answers. Needless to say--sat her right down and explained that he was on duty just keeping a close watch on my place to make sure John did not inadvertently show up out of the blue like he did. Its a good thing he did cruise my street regularly or I could have been dead by now by the way John was acting. He had never been cruel to me before so I was completely taken by surprise that he had changed even. We sat and talked all three of us until around midnight at which --said he had to go file a report on the incident. My sister stayed right by my side so that ended me walking out to his car with him, at least by myself. He did run his fingers along my cheekbone softly and looked deeply into my eyes before heading out my door to his waiting car. I probably read a lot more into that one moment than I should have but I do know my heartbeat accelerated quite a bit. My sister decided to bunk in one of my empty rooms for the rest of the night. We both double checked windows and doors making sure they were locked up tight before we went our separate ways. I did not want a repeat of what happened earlier and cussed myself out for even willingly opening the door in the first place. I mean how stupid can one person living alone be? For crying out loud! I decided to take a long leisurely soak in the tub to help with the cuts and scratch marks on my body. Ijust felt stiff and sore in every joint and thought a soothing bath might just be the ticket to a nice comforable sleep. Pouring bath crystals in my tub, I undressed slowly being careful of my wounds. Lowerin myself in the scented water I leaned back and just soaked. It felt so out of this world with bubbles floating all around me and the gardenia smell of the bubble bath was awesome. If that didn't relax me enough to sleep nothing would. Climbing out of the tub I grabbed a turkish body towel out of the linen closet trying to dry briskly where I had no marks that would sting. Pinning up my hair and removing my make-up was next then I crawled under my warm blankets ready for the night to lull me to sleep. My sister had not made a sound but I could hear her radio playing a soft blues tune in her room. She sometimes slept at her house with her radio on low so I knew it was just a routine thing with her. So far all was quiet in my little corner of the world so I punched my pillow a few times and drifted off to sleep. Morning came late for me and I awoke to voices in the kitchen. Belting a robe around my stiff, achy body I pattered out to the kitchen wondering who was entertaining my sister. Hopeing she had the coffee on I entered and found ---talking with her and enjoying his coffee. I was surprised to see him this time of the morning but he stood up at my entrance pulling out a chair for me. I sat down automatically and he went and poured me a cup of black coffee, sitting it down on the table in front of me. After enquireing about my sllep of the night before he said he was just foolowing up on a few more questions that he had. I felt as if I detested talking about what happened again, almost like rehashing it would bring bad feelings to the surface again. But he was very insitant in wanting to know why I had opened the door in the first place when I should have been leery of John. I explained I had been married for a long time to John and he never gave the impression of having a dangerous bone in his whole body. Why would he change like this all of a sudden.---said money changes some people and can make them do things they wouldn't normally do. I had to agree with that and so did my sister. My sister got up from the table and started making a light breakfast of toast and scramled eggs. --refused breakfast and prepared to go back to work. Reaching out for myhand he pulled me up close to his chest and gave me a sweet kiss on the side of my cheek. My sister stood there staring and crushed two eggs that she had in her hand, goo running down her fingers to land with a plop on the floor. Letting go of the mess we all laughed and she ran to get some paper towels to do the clean-up. After --left neither one of us spoke of what happened at the table but it was there with us most of the morning. My sister left for home that morning and as I was washing up the breakfast dishes I heard another car drive up and stop. Looking out the window, I saw the windows were tinted so I couldn't see who was driving. I must say it had my interest going full throttle and I was curious to say the least. I hurriedly dried my hands on a tea towel, hanging it back up on the rack and brushed my hair back with my fingers. Company at mid morning was something new for me. As the doors had opened and they climbed out, my heart skidded to a stop. }Standing at the patio windows I listened intently to the slam of car doors and fast moving footsteps coming up my walk, One car was my husband with another lady and the other was two men I didn't recognize. I broke out into a sweat wondering what had brought this about. I just knew it would not be good news, I just didn't understand why so many others were involved. As I heard the front door open then close softly a chill skittered up by back sending out a silent alarm to be ready. Fot what I had no idea. Treading silently through the livingroom on the soft beige carpeting was my husband of 40 years. I heard him say," Julia, I really hate doing this but I must. For your own good, my dear." I just stared at him wondering what he was getting at. Standing in front of me he took hold of my hands firmly. As I raised my head to gaze at him he pulled me up and into his arms hugging me closely. At the same time two men in white cloth jackets came hurrying through the door, with something white hanging over their arms. Grabbing me by the waist roughly yanking me around, they then proceeded to wind this garment around me over and over again! My husband John just stood off to the side not helping me as I tried to free myself. I just kept looking at John not believing what I was going through. My mind was frantic not knowing what was happening and why! Taking a deep breath I screamed and screamed, that being my only recourse left that I had! Fighting the ties that bound me did no good and was exhausting me. Someone tried putting their hand over my mouth and I bit them drawing blood. As I continued to scream I saw one of the strange men, bring out a syringe with a needle on the end and felt the sharp pin prick as it was deftly plunged into my arm. Yanking back, I fell into our coffee table landing on the carpet amid broken vases and our Tiffany lamp. looking at the ruins of broken glass, I compared it to my life and my marriage as I was forced to realize this all had come about with my husbands consent. Slowly things around me began to blurr out of focus. I could feel the tears and shame of being in this position run down my cheeks to drip off my face landing on the soft carpet with nary a sound. My brain and thought processes were being put to sleep with that shot I had been given. No matter how hard I resisted the effort of going to sleep, I knew I could not win over the effects of that drug. As quietly as a baby sucking his thumb, I slipped into a deep dreamless sleep praying I would not wake up in this same world if possible. All my hopes and dreams were lost to me upon knowing my husband had orchestrated this whole episode and I would be the one to suffer. I felt the sensation of my body being lifted by my legs and arms and carried outside. I could feel the sun and a fresh small breeze playing along my skin. Whomever had my arms had part of my hair caught in his fingers and it kept pulling at my scalp hurting me. I could not make a sound for I was too sluggish and out of it to make the effort. But I did have the sensation of being carried and put into the back seat of one of the automobiles, As I was laid flat across the seat I felt my feet being lifted in and vaguely heard the car door being shut with a loud clicking noise. They must have locked it for their own sake because I sure couldn't have moved any part of my body even if I had wanted to. I didn't hear anyone say one word during this entire time while moving me from my house to the back seat of this car. I had no idea where John was, riding with me or in another car. My mind was so sluggish I could translate anything in full just bits and pieces of noise that came and went. I heard other car doors slamming shut and car motors start up, then I had the sensation of moving again inthe car. I wish I could have at least sat up or made some movement to alert people in other cars that I was being abducted. But my body refused to obey me and my mind was on break. That shotjust leveled me enough where my responses were so slow and I was on the verge of falling totally asleep. I had to try and keep my wits about myself in order to get away. I had no idea what John had planned for me and I was very scared of him now since he had tried to hurt me before. How far would he actually go to get that inheritence from me? I could not even beging to guess! My mind was frantically scrambling to clear the fuzziness fromit. My mouth felt like someone had stuffed it full of cotton balls and I needed a drink of water badly even though my kidneys felt full to bursting. I knew we were still travelling in a car as I felt the movement below my body and I could hear the tires rolling on the pavement. What a weird feeling to be riding in the back street all trussed up like a Thanksgiving turkey laying down and just seeing small patches of the night sky with a star twinkling every once in awhile. My arms ached terribly from being wrapped so close to my sides and my legs were stiff from being jammed in an awckward position on the seat. I still had not heard one word spoken from the front seat and no dash lights shown anywhere for me to guage who was driving. The car radio was off and the silence was ominous in itself. It made me wonder if I was caught up in a nightmare that all Ihad to do was wake up. God! How I prayed it was so but I knew better. I was on my own here and for the life of me had no idea on how to handle this. It seemed like hours that we were on the road and my body felt like it had locked into position. My thirst was horrible by now and my arms ached from their cramped position. My head was clearing up as each minute went by but I stayed silent worrying that if my captor was aware of this he would just give me another shot further weakening my system. I had to try and think clearly but with my body screaming in protest of its position on the seat it was hard to do. I tried to shift positions without being to obvious but that wasn't working either. I had still heard no sound what so ever from the front seat not even a rustle of cloth to tell me anything. It was eerie like I had a ghost for a driver instead of a human! My imagination was starting to work overtime. Oncoming car and truck lights kept flashing past my car windows so I was aware it was night outside. Soon I heard an automatic window roll down part way and I smelled the tobacco of a cigarette being lit. I caught a glimpse of the flare of the match and a hand toosing the burnt match outside to drift with the wind. How much longer were we going to keep travelling I wondered ever nerve in body screaming in protest. Plus my stomach was growling with hungr and my bladder was slowly leaking its contents on me and the seat. Afterall a body can only hold their urine in so long then it has to come out no matter what. Mine had reached its limit I could tell by the spreading wetness seeping under me. Finally I had to just relax and let it go which humilitated me even further in my distress. What king of people had me that they would not at least stop long enough so I could relieve myself? Just then I felt an ajustment in the speed of the car and saw lights flashing aross the inside interior of the roof. My heart hammered painfully against my ribs as I patiently waited hoping to hear what was transpiring. I had no idea where we were or why we had stopped so quickly other than hearing a muffled oath come from the front seat that sounded like the word "damm". My captors door did not open but I could tell our car was stopped on gravel by the side of the highway because I heard the crunch as the tires met the gravel on the road. Twisting just a litte on the seat in order to see better did me no good what so ever since all of a sudden a plastic tarp of some sort was tossed over my head. They must have thought I was still unconscious because they never spoke to me or threatened me if I said or made a movement. I was so petrified I would not have breathed if at all possible. Slowly I saw more reflections of twirling lights which lit up the interior of our car like a grand gym area at a school for basketball games. In the back part of my mind I kept thinking maybe just maybe its policemen that stopped us but that would be a miracle in itself and miracles come few and far between. The man driving threw his cigarrette out of the car as footsteps sounded on the gravel outside of our car. I could hear someone say, "Please stay in the car with your hands on the wheel". Then I heard another voice standing outside say at the same time I heard a clic of metal," Your under arrest for the kidnapping of Julia Davis and will have to come with us". Later I found out the clic I heard was the handcuffs being place around my captors wrists as they rested on the steering wheel. He was the only one in the car besides me at that time. Then I rustled the tarp trying to move and I heard a voice as he opened the back door to pull the tarp off, say, "Julia, are you all-right?' Let me help you, my god, what have they done to you?' Turning quickly upon my lone captor ---grabbed him by the lapels of his shirt slamming him up against the body of the car, pinning him and bringing his right fist back except the other policeman grabbed that right arm on the downward swing to deflect the blow. Cringing before the swing my captor ducked in order to avoid the blow. Letting go of --arm the other policeman cautioned ---against violence. Subsiding ---pulled me close to his chest nuzzling his lips in my hair as he whispered soft words in my ear. I could tell he was visiblycrying at seeing me with urine spots all over and the urine smell was stron enough that even I cringed being next to him. But what could I do but stay braced up against him, my legs being to weak to hold myself up right and my wrists all chafed and bruised. My captor was led away in handcuffs after talking with the police officers. I never got a good glimpse of him since--led me off to his police cruiser and helped me to slide in the front seat, gently closing the door. As he came around to his side he slid in and leaned over to look into my swollen tear stained eyes. Taking my hand gently in his, interwining our fingers together he, he pulled my hand up to his lips and softly kissed each knuckle. Then as his eyes filled with tears he brushed them away and said he was sorry for crying but he felt so bad that he had not been there tp protect and keep me safe. I have never had anyone else shed tears over me and this touched me deeply clear down to my women's heart. I could feel his pain and it shook me the with the intentsity of it. It was a very touching moment between us and left me filled with the wonderment of someone caring that deeply for someone else. Giving myhand back tome, he radioed headquarters and apprised them of the situation then told them he would be off work for a few days in order to catch up on a few personal things. I wondered if he was classing me as one of the personal things. I wanted to ask but didn't have the nerve. So I just listened to his gentle voice humming to a tune on th eradio as we drove back to town. I realized it was about an eight hour drive before we would arrive at my home. I knew when I was a captive in that back seat it had seemed like forever and it was atleast eight hours of forever. From -- report of what happened he said the neighbors had called the police department alerting them to the fact they had saw John lurking around then coming into the house with two other men in white. Then they said they saw a blanket covered object being placed in a car but no movement from the blanket. So they called the police. But by the time the police arrived everyone was already gone and so the police had to do a search to see if anyone could describe the get away car or perchance had gotton a lisence plate number. After a few hours one teen stepped forward and said he had been snapping polaroid pictures of the yards on our street for a street wide open house potluck' Get To Know Your Neighbors Day." He was planning on putting the pictures in the local papers for adverising. Anyway he ended up with pictures of both cars and of all things a picture of the two accomplices plus John! I was stunned but so thank-ful that he came forward to help a virtual stranger! The Lord does work in mysterious ways. o --- put out an all state manhunt for the vehicles and the accomplices. John had disappeared after helping abduct me, and the other accomplice had also went in another direction. But they did get this one that had me in the car which --was praying I was still alive. He said when they stopped the car they were not sure if I would be in it yet or not or if he had already disposed of me. But they had three patrol cars that had surrounded the car I was in so he had no where to go. Evidently at first the guy thought it might just be a routine traffic stop since only one squad car was visible at the onset. Riding along watch -- was fascinating as he hummed along to the blues on his cruiser radio. He would glance over at me and smile with his eyes like he was happy to have me in the car with him. A small grin would hover around his mouth and he would reach over just to lightly touch my hand. It made me feel safe and precious. I had never felt this safe and happy as I now did. Nothingwas on my mind except being with him and getting to know what he liked and what he disliked. I started humming lightly with him only I was off key and we both burst out laughing at the same time. He had an amazing voice so deep and full of feeling that I'l bet when he went to church the choir begged him to solo. Me, I never could carry a tune and people would rather move to another pew than sit beside me and listen to my voice! Believe me I havehad them do exactly that. After awhile I fell asleep in my urine soaked clothes I was so tired. I felt bad for smelling up his cruiser but he had told me earlier not to worry. That it was something that I could not help, it's not like I set out to wet myself. So after so many miles travelling back to my town, I finally gave into my sleepiness and dozed off. His light cologne wafted over to me and I could smell the male smell of him in that car so I slept deeply with very erotic dreams of this man beside me humming. I just prayed he could not read my mind or see my dreams! I never dreamt of John that way so I wasn't sure how safe it was to be doing this about another man in the first place. I have to admit I had never been unfaithful to John in my whole time of being married to him so I was surprised my dreams would have me making love with someone else. Esppecially when legally I was still married whether I wanted to be or not. The way things kept going maybe I would rather choose divorce. Especially if I went through anymore intimate situations like the one I was in right now. The windshield wipers being turned on woke me up slowly and as I cracked open one eyelid I saw him reach over to turn the radio down a notch for my comfort. His hand reached over to pull me up next to him in the seat with our arms and thighs touching lightly. I scooted a little closer as I saw and heard the rain all around us. It felt like we were in our own little world, with just the easy soft blues playing and th erain drumming on the roof of the cruiser. It felt so cozy and he turned th eheater on low so we would not feel the dampness although it caused the urine smell on me and my clothes to be more pronounced. He looked at me and I looked at him until finally breaking eye contact he said," We need to get you a shower real soon". I blushed at him having mentioned me in the shower but he just gave me that endearing grin of his with his eyes sparkling with humor. I agreed to needing a shower as soon as possible and he suggested a motel. I backed away from that idea with him bursting into a loud guffaw. I finally had to laugh along with him but still it was tempting. --was so handsome and with that blue uniform on how could I not feel the attraction there? It would spark and I would feel his slow measured gaze on me and start to blush for the images that came to mind. ----leaned over while driving and asked me if I would like to stop at a fast food restrauant to grab abite to eat. My stomach was putting up a never endinggrowl that could be heard over the car radio. Iwas so embarrased and had no money and on top of that I looked and smelled terrible. But starving just for the sake of propriety didn't sit well either. We circled around a McDonalds and ordered a burger and fries, eating in the car while we parked in an open slot. Teenagers sitting next to his cruiser were doing some heavy necking while eating their food in-between and John just grinned about their antics while wolfing down his food. Me, I tried to ignore what was going on but that was hard to do parked right next to them. I could remember the days of youth and doing the same thhing so I wondered if---was thinking the same thing. How could he not? Taking a drink out of his paper cup--looked over at me and asked if I was full or wanted something else. I needed to go to the bathroom badly so as I gotout he came around to walk with me saying he would wait right outside the door until I came back out. Being shaky still on my legs I leaned heavily on him but seeing this we recieved catcalls and inuendos from the kids parked next to us. Grinning -- hauled me up for a kiss, placing his hands around my waist pulling me in tight to his chest. I could put up no resistance since I was so tired still and feeling so darnweak kneed. Urine smell and all he did not let it bother him. He enjoyed the good natured banter from the teens next to us, saying" Go daddy, go!" Laughing he released me and finished walking beside me to the bathroom. Entering the restroom I hurriedly sat down on the stool and did my business. Then I took a handful of paper towels and started wiping some of the dried urine off my body hoping to dispose of the smell itself if possible. The soap was a cheap kind they use in public bathrooms but at least it was soap. I heard a tap on the door and opened it a crack to see--standing there waiting for me. Asking if I needed any help he grinned at me so endearingly I was sorely tempted to drag him in bodily. But prudence won out yet again and I said I would be finished in a few more minutes. I sometimes wish I would just take my first gut reaction and jump right in on things instead of sticking to the safe and narrow. But I always have been one to have to stop and think about decisions first. Even growing up I did the same thing. Opening the bathroom door I saw--leaning up against the building just looking at the stars in the sky. He appeared deep inthought and as his glance swung my way, I tenatively glanced at him and he again pulled me into his arms. This time I was ready for it and wrapped my arms tightly around him holding on for dear life as our lips met in an explosively sweet kiss. I think I might have surprised him because I heard this low chuckle as the kiss deepened and I snuggled in tighter. His lips were so soft and firm and I could smell the light woodsy cologne that he often wore. His arms held on to me tightly and I pulled him closer just to feel his heart beating against my chest and to feel the strength In his arms. He must have had a breath mint because I could taste a hint of that as his tongue probed mine. Standing there up against the McDonalds bilding we were in shadow so no one appeared to notice the two of us. If they did maybe they would mistake us for two younglovers. But beings he had a uniform on I knew their would probably be questions running through their minds. Breaking apart --looked at me and mentioned if this kept up we were both in trouble because he wasn't sure he could stay a nice guy. He made it very clear that he wanted to make love to me and on his part it wouldn't be a one night stand. I did not want to bring up the subject of my wandering husband to put a damper on things so decided to keep quiet. My peacefullness would shatter as soon as I brought that subject up. My safe feelings would disappear like a puff of smoke. Climbing back into his car he started the engine. The teens thathad been parked next door to us while we ate had left so we were once again by ourselves. looking at me as he pulled out into the traffic he said it would be about 4 hours until we arrived at my home. Asking if I feltokay, he sped the car up the ramp onto the interstate. Nodding myhead I scooted over next to him this time feeling a strange wild abandon after sharing kisses with him in the McDonalds parking lot. Maybe seeing those teens necking intheir car had caused me to lower my standards and egnited my blood. I don't know, I just felt more at ease and about ten years younger. They were so relaxed while being so public they did not care one whit who saw them and I felt the same way for some strange reason. Reaching over I carressed his jawline feeling the day old stubble of beard prinking my fingertips. Leaning his jaw down into my hand I ran my fingertips lightly over his jaw again and he kissed them ever so softly. Groaning he gave me an amorous look and I this time grinned over at him with a come hither look. ' You might just get what you want if you keep this up" he softly said to me all the while keeping his eyes on the road. My hand strayed down to his thigh lightly running my fingertips on the inside. A quickening there caused a bulge and I heard him softly groan yet again then I scooted to the far side. Grinning I glanced furtively athim and he grabbed me by the arm dragging me back over to him. Laughing I settled in and behaved myself. Teasing someone was all new to me, I more or less wanted to see what kind of reaction I could get out of him. I know it wasn't nice but I loved the feel of being wanted in a sexual way and was just beginning to feel a strange power that women had over men from day one. It's an awesome feeling to turn a man on with just your fingertips and your actions I must say. Reaching over he slid his hand through my hair pulling me even closer in the car. I could not get my emotions under control and as his hand slid down into the front of my blouse I felt his fingers lightly touch my bra. My nipples instantly hardened and came to attention and I could feel them tighten. The sexual attraction was strong and I knew he was also feeling strung as tight as a wire because his breathing started to get heavier. Driving and feeling this way I knew was dangerous but asking him to pull over, I knew where that would definitely lead. I wanted to make love with this man so bad but I also knew that a back seat and still being married went agaisnt everything I was taught. SoI had to bring things back into propestive before it went much further. I turned and looked up at him, and I could read in his eyes that he knew I was backing off of making love to him. He coughed and cleared his thraot withdrawing his hand and concentrated on driving. My urge was so strong to continue this further but I still could not give in to making love with someone until I was free to do so. And still being married even though it was just a formality right now made it near impossible to give in. As soon as I arrived home I would have to start the divorce proceedings and let John get on with his life and me with mine. I had begun to see how I could survive without John where as before I would never have concieved me doing that. Its odd how things in life can change your whole outlook, isn't it? I also wondered in an abstract way as to where John was. The radio crackled to life on --police cruiser. Listening to the conversation between --and the dispatcher I gathered they had found a body inthe river about twenty miles from my home. Making a prliminary guess they thought it might be April and she had been weighted down with chains with her mouth taped shut with duck tape, Some early morning fisherman had come upon th ebody by getting their hooks caught on the chain. A quick examination by the coroner had tentatively ID'd it as being April and she had been about three months pregant with a child. I help my breath during this entire conversation shocked into speechlessness. Was John the murderer and was he the father of her baby? Did he actually kill his unborn child and the mother? I could not fathom this as the John I knew and tears started flowing down my cheeks listening. __reached out to put his hand on mine giving my fingers a light squeeze. Upset I just sat there listening to the description of the body and the facts surrounding it. Still they had no idea where John was and no one had any information on where they could start tolook for him. Whatever, he was covering his tracks well. They signed off on the police radio and --looked across at me. His mouth was set in grim lines as he kept his gaze pinned on my huddled up form. My shakingshoulders must have told him I was crying because he pulled off to the shoulder of the road and we sat quietly for a few moments. Huddled on my side of the car he reached out and enfolded my shuddering frame into his arms. Mummering soothing words in my ear his hands kept stroking my ack and hair. I shuddered convulsively agaist him and as I did so he tilted my tearstained face up to his and sealed mylips with his. This kiss was so soft and light, a healing kiss that throbbed clear down to my toes. It soothed the inner turmoil of my soul. I have no idea how long we sat there on the side of the road talikg solace from each other. The radio was playing and we held each other close just cuddled together with a sad blues song playing across the radio. My mind was thinking of a small life that had been snuffed out before it had a chance to live and of April who was probably the one who died and didn't, no matter what, deserve to have had someone snuff out her young life so quickly. I just could not comprehend anyone going to those lenghts but John had orchestrated my abduction out of myown home.So why would I think it strange that he had killed April and her unborn baby? After several minutes had passed I fell asleep leaning on ---and my tears had soaked into his shirt. ___must have fallen asleep also with his long legs stretched out under the dash bcause his breathing became more even. We were both so tired and beyound staying awake. I vaguely remember looking up at him and his eyes were closed, his breathing steady and sure. I just leaned against him continuing to hold him close to my heart thinking of how much he had come to mean to me in the short time I had been with him. I laid my hand inside his shirt just to feel the texture of his skin against my skin. Running my inquisitive hand along his chest I pulled his sleeping face down so that my lipsgently touched his. I fellt the slightpressure of his lips tasting mine and kept up with my lips still on his. The feelings were coming to the surface as his eyes openedup inshocked but pleasureable surprise. He had given me so much of himself that I onlywanted to give back some of my intense feelings. Wrapping me closer in his arms he exerted steady pressure onmy mouth, deeping his kiss and letting his hands wander at will. My shirt came up out of my jeans and I could feel his light touch all the way on my back andaround toward my breasts. As they grazed over the tips of my breats I gave a gasp of welcome pleasure. He chuckled and bent his lips to one nipple, slowly suckingon the tip causing waves of pleasure to wash over me. I felt a warmth spread through out my entire body and I gently stroked him on the inside of his thigh ellictating deep groans from this man of mine. And yes, I considered him mine. I know my emotions were running at an all time high and as he slowly took his mouth away from my breat , He gave me a grin and straightend my blouse covering me back up. I looked longingly in his eyes, and he said gently, " We can't go any further because right now wer both vulnerable and I don't want to make love until we get everything straightened out. Your still married and Iknow how deeply youfeel about marriage vows. I do not want to force you into making a rash decision so we'll wait. Ijust wanted youto know that I am here for you and will be here until one of us leaves this earth". It was a long speech for him but it meant the world to me. He could have had me in a heart beat but he pulled away and I now knew what that decision had cost him. This decision based on his respect for me caused my heart to lurch and feel his pain upon his admission. What man would care enough to back away and not take what was so freely offered especially when I had given him the go-ahead. Moving a little space away from him I took the comb he handed me and tidied up my hair in the rearview mirror. Meanwhile he climbed out of the car, walking a little off to the side of the road to take a leak I think. As he came back he seemed to have pulled his feelings back together and proceeded to start the car up and pull away from the gravel lining the side of the road. I kind of hated to see us on the move again as I had a new found closeness with him, knowing that he wanted to take me to bed with him. Right then I would probably have taken him up on it without a scound thought given. I wondered how long we would both be able to refrain from coming together. My whole body quivered in anticipation even dwelling on the thought. My thoughts made me blush and I turned to stare out the window. His dispather came back on the radio saying they had a positive ID on the body found in the river. It definitely was th ebody of April and now they were looking seriously for John. They had him down as highly dangerous and were turning over any rocks or stones to find him. They asked --to see if I could possibly come up with anywhere he might hide but even racking my brain, I came up with nothing. My mind played havoc trying to help but it did me no good. I had withstood too much and my brain felt like it was on overload. --let them know that I had nothing to add and also wanted to know if they had contacted my sister and children explaining what had happened and that I was all-right. They told him all that had been done minutes after my rescue. My sister had set up camp at the police department wanting answers and would not leave until someone came up with some. They laughed and said they were glad to see her leave even though one of the investigaters followed her out the department door saying he would be back later. From their friendly banter I could tell it wasn't police business the investigater was interested in. Laughing-- looked over at me and grinned then we both started in chuckling like crazy! I could not imagine my sister hooking an investigator from the local police department but then again look who I was sitting beside! Love makes the world go around and I dearly prayed that me and --would come to be a part of that world. A team, a couple. Looking at the ohther car lights shining back at us I felt content enough to drift off to sleep again. the soothing music and the swish of the car tires lulled me into a safe peaceful sleep and I must have slept away two hours. When I finally awoke I was leaning up against-- sunggled uder his shoulder and feeling refreshed again. We, from what I could guage, were about an hour away from my home. I would be so glad to take a warm shower and get out of these smelly urine covered clothes. Just a soothing five minutes and a complte change would build my confidence up. I had no idea how --could even stand to be around me with the smell I had coming from my body. After several hours of riding in the car I would think he would be happy to escape the smell but he gave no indication of it. In fact he was always pulling me closer to him on the seat and letting me know in certain terms he wanted me to stay there. So I did. Pulling up into my drive --let the engine idle for a few minutes while he asked me if I wanted him to come in for awhile to check things over. I said that would begreat because I saw my sisters car in the drive and it would be easier facing her down than being by myself. Also there was another strange car parked just behind hers and the kitchen light was on showing two peoples figures in the window. Ihad no idea who she would have with her but I worriedmy bottom lip that John mayhave shown up and I was not ready to deal with that issue yet. Looking at me--climbed out of the car andcame around to open my door. Taking my hand he guided me up the walk to the front door where it burst open showing my lovely sister standing in the porch light. Grabbing me around the waist she wrinkled up her nose and said" You need a shower, you smell like someone who died!" Then she recovered herself and said," Oops! Wrong wording!" "Sorry!" A shadow of a man came up behind Sara and put his arm around her shoulders. I had never met him but evidently Steve had for he stuck out his hand and clapped the man on the back in a friendly greeting. Saying hello to me he introduced himself as a private investigator and said he had worked with Steve several times. He said he had met my sister at the police department and they had been having coffee waiting for Steve to bring me home. Kidding they told Steve he took his own sweet time and Steve looked over at me grinning his special grin. The look between the two of us could have scalded a cat! Being back home I immediately told Steve and my sister I was heading for the showers. Unbuttoning my blouse as I wnt toward the shower Steve followed me into my bedroom coming up behind me asking if I needed any help. Laughing at him I said I hardly thought so but as he nusseld my neck and earlobe my intuition was telling me to go ahead. Closing the bedroom door he started undoing the buttons on my blouse slowly and I watched as his fingers slid one button out of the eyehole at a time. Grasping his wrist I held onto his fingers as he went to slide my blouse off my shoulders. looking into my eyes his eyes pleaded with me to let him finish what he had been doing. Did I dare go forward with this or not. My sister was in the kitchen with that private investigator Randy and I wsn't sure whether she would walk on it on us or not. Steve settled that question by going over and locking my bedroom door. Coming to stand by me, he said one word,"Please". "Let me come inand take a shower with you.""I'll be good". Just at that moment we heard a rattling of the doorknob and my sisters voice yelling," What did you lock the door for?" "Open up, right now!" I could hear Randy saying something but it wasn't clear enough to distinquish what. I looked at Steve and he let go of my blouse, walked over and sat down in the chair with his long legs straight out crossed at the ankles. As he folded his arms together across the front of himself I hurriedly went into the bathroom, shedding my clothes and went into the shower with my sister banging repeatabdly on the door. I heard a loud laugh and all of a sudden, this slick suberbly well built male slid open the shower door and closed it just as quickly! I did not know what to cover first, I was stunned into voicelessness. His body had an all over tan and with his stormy gray eyes full of wickedness, he grabbed the bar of soap, turned me around so my back was up aginst him and started to scrub. Talk about surprises! Kissing me on the shoulders and the sides of my neck I got goosebumps all over. Then he lathered up my hair with shampoo, spraying the water over me gently as he started lathering each breast. I have to say it was a very erotic time and by the time he was through washing my entire body I was near to bursting with my need for him. But he deftly slid open the door, pushed me out of the shower and with a deep bass voice started singing at the top of his lungs. Personally I think that was to cover up my sister banging on the door the whole time. Presently out of the shower he came. all golden tan with his raven black hair grabbibg a towel off the towell rack as he passed me by. Still humming he proceeded to cover up that magnificent body while I still stood gaping at him like a teenage fan. Water was dripping from my body and hair so he threw the towel he had used in my direction, putting on his holster, fastening it down and went to unlock the door. Yikes! I needed to cover up fast or I was going to be caught in the buff! I hurried and closed the bathroom door just as I heard my sister ranting and raving about his hair being so wet looking! I heard the laughter in Steve and Rand's voice as they tried valiently to calm her down, walking her back towards the kitchen. Slipping into my jeans and a short sleeved shirt, I headed out to the kitchen after running a comb through my hair. Hearing their low voices, I was a little embarrassed over what had transpired between Steve and I but didn't know what else to do. I couldn't hide out in my bedroom the rest of my life. Hoping my sister would keep her thoughts to herself for once I entered the kitchen and helped myself to coffee. Randy was standing behind my sister massaging her shoulders and she looked as if she could fall asleep sitting in the chair. Steve was stirring his cup of coffee and looking down at the cup with a playful little smile hovering around his mouth. I could have reached over and kicked him because I could without a doubt read his mind! He knew I could too because as he glanced over at me from the corner of his eyes he winked and let his gaze drift lower on my body. I felt warm all over under his gaze and I could see my sister and Randy hold back their own grin. As Randy quit massaging my sisters shoulders he said he was going to have to get back on the job. Asking if Steve was coming, he went to get his jacket and came back still waiting for Steve's answer. Reluctantly it seemed, Steve rose from his chair and gathered up his things. Standing at the door he pulled me up to him and thourghly kissed me only letting go when Randy coughed indiscreetly. My sister stood open-mouthed with a thousand questions running through her beady little mind. I knew once they left I would be up for hours trying to explain this crazy attraction Steve and I had between each other. I had a feeling it was going to be an extremely long night in this house. She did not look as if she was ready to go home to her own place at all in fact she looked as if she was set in here. Going out the front door we watched until both men had driven then closed and locked the door. I just stood with my back up against the door in deep thought and my sister calleed for me to come sit down on the sofa with her. She was excited about meeting Randy and wanted to know what I felt about her dating again. I had no problem with it as long as she didn't get hurt in the process and thats basically what she was concerned with between me and Steve. Of course she wanted to know what happened in the shower and why Steve's hair was all wet but I up and threw a sofa pillow at her and the pillow fight was on. When we were small we always if we wanted to not talk about something threw pillows at each to start a pillow fight. It got us off a a sticky subject and still does. I haveno ideaif anyone of us realized we were basically in the same boat wth being with men on the police depatment. Either way no one would have been able to convince me that Steve was bad for me. I idolized him right now. He was the man that I wished I had married way back when I was a teen. He had depth that I wasn't even aware of yet and his eyes spoke volumes to me. Il loved the way he moved, so quietlyand so soft spoken. He knew what I felt before I even had to speak and he knew just how to reach out to me by his taers. I could tell it was hard for me to see him cry that one time he did but he let me know by that that he had deep feelings. That clicnhed my feelings for him when I saw and felt his tears for me. How many guys cry when someone else is hurt. Very few that I know of. Thunder rumbled off in the distance so we hurriedly shut all the windows. Turning on the television, a weather alert came on advicing everyone in the area to be prepared for a large dangerous storm moving in our direction with in the next half hour. So we ran closing up everything, locating candles, and making sure we had our cell phones in a handy easily found spot. I was worried about the guys leaving and whether they were still on the road or safe out of the storms path. Storms can get wicked in our state and creep up on a person with almost no warning what so ever. The sky turned a darl black in the west and clouds were being pushed hurridly ahead of the storm The wind picked up speed and I could see some neighbors trying to grab their laundry off the line before they were tossed all over the community. We had the television turned on but with all the electrical lightening flashing around she thought it best to turn it off. Either way the lights flickered and died immediately after shutting the television down. It looked as if we were in for one heck of a big storm, I could only hope we wern't in its path. What I had trouble understanding was the way my life had tuned topsy turvy just since a few weeks ago. I just could not comprehend what the heck was happening when I used to live a nice quiet life and then wham! One day is quiet and the next its rushing out of my control. I do not like not knowing the why of things and have always asked question after question trying to understand the reasons behind circumstances. Sometimes its near impossible to get a right answer so I stumble along questioning in my mind. Sounds dumb I know but its me in a nutshell. Just then I heard the high pitched whine of a train bearing down on the house. Screaming my sister and I tore down the basement stairs, wind dragging us trying to pull us back up the stairs. Something feel right next to us causeing us to stumble on the step and we were both plunged into total darkness. The force of the wind was tremendous and our hair blew straight out while we clung to the edge of the basement stair rail, at least thats what I think it was. The roar hurt our ears and we could not let go of the rail long enough to cover them. We heard screams above our heads and voices bur could not distinquish the words. Our breath was caught in our throats and we dared not call out since all of our attention was centered on just hanging on for dear life. Suddeny as we were hanging on with the force of the wind and rain buffetting us, we heard a tremendously big crash. From over our heads the roof and large trees cracked wide open sending debris cascading down on us as we clung to our basement bannister. Ducking we both valiantly tried to shield our faces by putting our heads down beneath our arms and hands. My knuckles shown white I was hanging on so tight to the rail and I could see my sister gritting her teeth in a paradoy of a smile. I did not hold out hope that we would live through this storm it was so violent in its intentisity. I could only pray that Steven and Randy and my sister would live to see another day. For me I had had my love even if it was only for a short time. My one regret was not giving him my body before this happened. That would have sealed our love for all eternity! What time was it I wondered. It seemed like I had been in this basement forever. Pitch black and errily quiet I stared upwards to see if I could see anyone. No sound just plain silence filtered back to me so I called out in a small voice. Calling out louder still brought no response, so as I still had my grip on the bannister I felt my fingers cramp up from being clamped so tight around it. I was just plain scared to release it so I just sat there in a blank fog. Was there anyone left? Did anyone know we were down here? Sreaming, " Oh God" "Help Me!" I clung for dear life. We? That reminded me that my sister had to be here somewhere! Shifting a little then hearing the groaning of th ebannister and feeling it tremble beneath my fingsers I held perfectly still. I tried to feel th ebasement floor with my toes but only touched air. Where was the floor and worse where was my sister? I had to find her but didn't want to lose my grip on the bannister either. What could I do? I very shakeily whispered her name but got no answering response. Then I whispered it louder only to be met with silence. Finally I screamed out her name with tears and sobs choking my thoat praying she would answer or moan or something. I needed her! Where in God's name is she? Still all was quiet in that basement making me feel as if I was buried alive. The complete silence came close to driving me insane. Questions pounded inside my head needng answers. I stopped making noise thinking if I was quiet enough I might hear my sister breathing somewhere near me. If something hit her and knocked her out I certainnly would be able to at least hear her breathing, wouldn't I? So quiet as a mouse, I listened closeely and all I heard was my soft sobs and gulps. No other sound from above drifted down to me and no sound below drifted up. I had no idea how long it would be before anyone came to check on us but I hoped it would be soon. I had one foot on some kind of board and the other was just dangling in midaire. I was afraid of shifting positions in case the whole bannister caved in. I could hear it creak and groan each time I tried to change positions. The wind left as quick as it came and I could hear creaking and shuddering throught the house. No lights gave me any indication as to how things looked. I had no idea if my house was still standing or if anyone was alive in it. I kept hanging on waiting for neighbors, friends or even strangers to show up and help but no living voice emerged except mine. And that was only to call out weakly, my voice full of tears for help. Screaming so much during and in the aftermath of the storm had made my voice hoarse and scratchy. All I could do was use my last remaining stregnth to grip the rail as much as possible and keep my foot on that stupid board all the while my other foot dangled in mid air. I could see daylight coming across the sky in the east and it slowly started to lighten up just a touch. Not enough yet where I could visulize anything or anyone but enough to know I would be able to soon if I just could keep a grip on my rail. The wind had died down and now I could feel a soft breeze ripple across my body so I knew my whole house couldn't have stayed intact. With four walls still up I would'nt have felt a breeze on my skin. That much I pulled together in my weary mind. I needed sleep but knew I dare not drift off or I would fall and be hurt a lot worse than I was now. Right now I only felt I had scrapes and bruises but it could have been so much worse. Of all the crazy thoughts to filter in my mind was if the neighbor had finally got her laundry off the line in time. What a crazy thought to pop into my mind! Tightening my hands on the rail I fought the feeling of drifting off and continued to listen for sounds. Calling out every once in awhile I hopedto get an answer. I was overwrought trying to see if I could find my sister in the debris around me but full daylight had not arrived yet. My stomach growled in protest of not being fed and my thirst was eating at me like a canker sore. I was slowly losing my mind in this silent world. With the sun slowly rising in the East, I tried to see threw the rain that started drizzling down on me. Cold, wet and so tired to the bone I continued to hang on alternately crying and sobbing, occasionally calling out names hoping someone would answer me in the devastation. But no one did and I despaired of anyone finding me as my arms became weaker and I started to chill. Wether from shock setting in or what I had no idea, all I could comprehend was it felt like I was the only person left in this world and I did not want to be alone. God help me, I thought. I must have dozed off for a few seconds because a low moaning insinuated itself into my counciousness and I barely heard it. It came from several feet off to the side of me but down below of where I was clinging to the rail. From the moans it seemed like a long way down like through a tunnel. I yelled but got no answering response, stopping every so often then yelling agin. Who ever was down there appeared to be in a lot of pain and must have kept passing out because they would moan then stop and a few minutes later maon again. It started making me more anxious than I had been because what if that person was bleeding to death or dying and no one but me could hear them. I cried as I was holding on for all the people who were hurt or dying and for the ones I would never know. How manypeople were hurt or killed from this massive storm and left behind loved ones? The devastaion had to have been massive as fast as it had moved in, almost instantaneous it seemed. I could only keep praying that Steve, my sister and Randy had survived the impact. I never gave a thought to John of all things feeling like he didn't deserve my thoughts since he had complicated my life so much recently. Hearing noises above me, I noticed the sky had lightened with daylight considerably. I was so happy to be able to make out some dim figures leaning in yelling at me. I had been so lost in thought that I had not at first heard them calling asking if anyone was down here. Down here. I thought? What do they mean by down here? Where was I anyway? I thought at the height of the storm my sister and I had made it safely to the basement. Was I wrong and just thinking that's where we were or had I been tossed elsewhere. The low moaning below me had stopped and I could not hear or see anything. But the voices above me now came into sharper focus and I could make out three or four rescusers standing on a platform or floor of some type. They asked if I was okay and if their was anyone else down here with me. I told them I was clinging to a rail and that I had heard moaning off and on from below, but hadn't for some time now. It really had me worried and I was fearfull just in case it was my sister. I saw a paramedic standing with the other people and he was wrapping somethingaround his waist resembling a rope. Calling out to me he said to just hang on for a few minutes and he would see about reaching me. They were waiting for another person to lower theirselves down also who could secure my perch if possible. I shifted position and heard the creaking of the rail and felt it sway away from me a little bit with me clutching itfor dear life. Holding my breath I went with it, swinging just a small distance but enough that it caused me to hold my breath until it quit while tears continued to coursedown my cheeks. Silence came from above until the momentum of my rail quit. The small board that my foot had been resting on swung with the bannister, thanks be to heaven or I would have been hanging with just my hands and no where to put my feet. Brushing tears from my eyes I ran my hand over the side of my head and my hand came away sticky with blood. I almost fainted dead away seeing that but instead my stomach lost all the contents it had. Which wasn't musch since so much time had passed since I had eaten last. That though was the least of my worries. Right now I just wanted off my perch and to be held in Steve's arms. The only thing, I had no idea how or where he was at this time and I was too scared to put that question to my rescuers for fear their answer would not be good. Then I might just decide to let go of my rail and plunge to my death. I was not in a rational mind at this time. I just wanted my world to return to normal instead of this havoc. My rescuers were conferring up above on the best way to bring me up and the safest way. Either way they chose was risky since they had told me the only thing keeping me from hitting the basement floor was my grip on that flimsy railing. It was held on by a slim chunk of wood and one bolt that hadn't been pulled loose from a stud yet. But the whole thing was iffy and who ever came down would not be able to stand on the same board. It would not hold any more weight than mine and the rail was not held together enough for their grip and mine. Either way the whole operation was risky. Just then I vaguely heard another low moan from below and an agonized whimper following right behind it. Evidently the men up above me heard the same thing because then they got really worried about the condition of that person. They weren't sure if the perch I was standing on would collapse on the person below if they proceeded with their plan of action. There was no way to telll where that person was, directly under me, or off to the one side. I only hoped that we both came out of this alive who ever was down below me. No one deserved to die like this in the after math of a storm like we had just witnessed. But I was sure that we were not the only ones suffering as I listened to my would be rescuers discuss their options. Finally they must have come to some kind of decision because I heard a loud machine off to the left start up by where they were standing above me. Then I saw the paramedic and one rescuer grab hold of a swing basket tied to a cable. As they both climbed into it they signalled someone off to the side and the machines motor geared up to lower the sling basket slowly. Down it creaked ever so slow and my arms felt like they had no feelings in them anymore. The groaning below had almost stopped completely and with tears courseing down my face I watched the sling basket slowly make its way down to me. Bumping into things as it came my would be rescuers hung on tightly giving hand and verbal commands to the men up above to help guide it. I was so anxious to leave this place I stared reaching for it before it was even close to me. Several times I would extend my fingers as far as possible hoping to be able to touch it and grab hold. My nerves were taunt with fear and I was feeling desparate. It had been too long in this storm ravaged place for me. My eyes were peeled on the sling as it kept coming in closer as such a slow rate of spped. I realized it had to go slow for the safety of the rescusers and me but I was feeling so impatiennt, I just wanted out. My hands shook from the light rain being cold and I was sore and stiff from hanging on so long. My one foot was tired of bearing all the weight and my other one couldn't be on the board aslo or I would feel my perch creaking and it scared the daylights out of me. My hair was scraggly down around my face and whenever I moved to brush it away my rail would crack and start to wobble again. As the basket got within reaching distance for me one of the rescusers cautioned me not to grab for it. He said they would get close enough to pull it in theirseves and he did not want undo pressure put on the board or rail that I was standing on. It was so hard not to reach out for it and several times my fingers would reach toward it anyway. Swinging each time the rescuers manged to keep getting closer to where I was at each time. They did this about six times than I got impatient thinking that I might be able to help them along. Even hough they had cautioned me not to try and grab the basket sling myself for some reson I ignored their warning. Reaching out on that final swing brought them within one inch of where I clung so I leaned out as far as possible feeling my fingers lightly graze the wire rim of the basket then missed grabbing it. Just as I thought to myself, Damm" I heard a loud crack and screaming felt my perch hurtling down down down! My voice echoed off the walls and I felt a tremendous burst of pain around my back, then everything turned black for me. I have no idea how my rescurers finally got me out of my pain filled prison but I awoke in a hospital that I was not familiar with, not being able to feel anything, and worst of all, not being able to speak. They tell me shock brought on my not being able to speak and I had injured my back in the fall which resulted in my not being able to walk. They had no idea if I would get these skills back at all so I lay in my hospital bed contemplating just what had transpired. I still had no answers to my burning queestions about Steve and Randy. My sister was found thirty feet outside in the backyard area and while I was in the hospital in a coma she had passed away and been buried. The Doctors thought that might have contributed to my shock causing me to quit speaking. I did not even get the chance to say good by and to me that was a crushing blow. I do not let my mind linger on her or I would certainly go insane. As my nurse came in the doorway she hesitated on coming next to my bed. I could see that she was nervous and I had heard that she was a new nurse just practcing right now until she got a little more experience. Watching her I began to get the feeling that she was wanting to forwarn me of something but she just couldn't seem to make her tongue work. Or maybe she was afraid of what my reaction would be. Who really knows what goes on in a persons mind. I kept her within my eyesight like a hawk would a field mouse and her hands started tremling with her nervousness. She tried valiently to give me a reassurring smile but failed miserably. It looked like a cartoon caricature, all shakey and squiggly. Behind her in the doorway I heard food trays being passed out and a little candy striper entered my room bearing my tray with a big bouquet of flowers on it. My heart did a double take thinking maybe it was from Steve, just maybe he was in the same hospital or had just found me. I felt my heart lurch as she handed me the card to read for myself. My tembling increased as I opened it and brought it forth from the small manilla colored envelope. As I read the "wish you wern't ill' standard message I automaticcaly skipped down to the neat handwrittian signature at the bottom of the card. I started screaming at the top of nmy voice, on and on I went not seeming to be able to help myself just screaming! Then I picked up my whole food tray with the flowers on it, pulled my arm back and threw it as hard as I could right through the glass double windows. Food sprayed all over the walls along with particles of glass. I picked up a long shard of the window glass that had landed on my bed by my hand and made to slice it across my neck. Before I accomplished this several Doctors along with the candy striper and tray bearer grabbed my arms pinning them to my sides. Taking a syringe the DR. hurridly filled itand uncovering my tensed up arm proceeded to jab it into my skin and injecting a sedative to calm me down. Meanwhile the one little candy striper had picked up the debris that I had scattered over the room in my rage, plus the little card and handed it one of the Doctor's. In it, it was signed" Your faithfull husband John". I came out of my deep sleep screaming for Steven and the Doctor's came rushing in trying to quiet me down. My arms were strapped down where I could not pull anything out even though I tried my utmost to dislodge the straps. My heart beat erraticcaly and I was crying and sobbing. My mind was so confused because of the drugs or the card from my husband I have no idea. I just know I was panicky and frantic, wanting to get away and be with Stephen. Where was he when I needed him so bad. I could not go on in this mixed up world and only wished for death because that is what life would be for me if Stephen wasn't alive. I did not care one wit about John and feared for my life with him while he was still alive. Why hadn't he died in the storm, why did it have to be my sister? Life had dealt me a cruel blow and as far as I was concerned I did not care to see my life through. Needless to say they finally had to give me a second shot to put me out. As I came to I smelled food and my stomach rumbled appreciately. I was starving andmy eyes felt grainy and were swollen. My whole body ached and when I reached for a glass of water on my night stand my arms would not co-operate and move. I tried the other arm before noticingthat I was still strapped down tightly with both arms at my sides. I looked allaround and swa a small reading lamp next to my bed and the room itself was dim. It had a cozy feel to it even though I could tell Iwaas still in the hospital becuse I had tubes in my arms that went to a machine. The machine would make a whirring noise then stop and start again. In the chair next to the lamp, someone sat in the shadows with an open book on their lap. I tried to see them clearly but my vision was distorted because of the drugs they had forced on me earlier..Fromtheir steady, even breathing I could only surmise they were sleeping as their head was bent on their chest. Long legs encased in jeans stretched out and I could smell a faint, light woodsy odor in the air float towards me. My heart began to beat a rapid tatoo inside my chest and I could hardly breathe for wanting it to be Steven. But I also knew that several weeks had passed since that wicked storm and it was doubtful that it would be him in that chair sleeping. Was I having a beautiful dream from all my meds or was it just visions haunting me. I kept my eyes pinned on the long legged vision sleeping in the chair. Small snores issued out and who ever it was was in a deep sleep. They must have been exhausted to fall asleep sitting up in a straight backed chair even though the person had scooted down and was leaning his body back. His cowboy hat fell off as his head fell back and a shock of coal black hair shone in the dim lamplight. As I watched him move to reach down and pick it up a pair of cool gray eyes contacted with mine. I felt the jolt clear to my toes! I screamed, "Steven!" "Oh! My God! Steven!" I immediately burst into heart wrenching sobs and couldn't stop. I just simply had given up on ever seeing him again and had thought he was killed in the storm. I think in the back of my head I had it figured that the nurses knew he was dead and just hadn't wanted to tell me until I was more stable. But it really was Steven and I could only cry! My arms were fastened down at my sides but I felt Stevens arms come around me and hold me close to his chest. His heart really was beating and it was his cologne I had smelled. He really was holding me once again and I lifted up my head to see his eyes. He gazed at me with tears in his own eyes and my vision misted over. Turning he undid the straps holding my arms down to my sides, pulling me gently up under his chin. Holding me close he kissed the top of my head and cried for I could feel his tears wetting my hair and my hospital gown. Great gulping sobs shook his shoulders and lean frame but he continued to hold me as close as we could get. My proud wonderful Steven was here with me and we shared the pain of almost losing each other. The door opened and the little candy striper came in. When she saw Steven holding me she smiled and gave me the thumbs up as she quietly let the door close behind her. I would forever be grateful that she gave us this time to rediscover our feelings for each other. After Steven had pulled himself together he looked into my eyes and said he had heard about my sister and wanted me to know he was soory that had happened. He said him and Randy had been headed into the storm, with the wiind blowing upwards of fifty miles per hour they ditched the cars and ran to an underground culvert to get in out of the firece winds. Others were there also and hanging on to what ever they could find in order to not get blown away. One lady had two small children that she could not keep a grip on plus trying to hold a newborn infant in her arms. As the wind changed direction at a fierce clip, she lost her grip that she had on her two year old son. The wind at his height grabbed him blowing him, tumbling and tumbling across a farmers field with the lady screaming frantically for help all the while holding unto her infant son and the shirt sleeve of her three year old. Randy had grabbed the lady so she could not try and go after her other little boy but that left Stephen to wonder to himself if he should attempt it. Given no real choice since if he didn't at least try then he would not be able to live with himself or look at himself in the mirror each day, he went out against the wind trying to spot the little boy. Whole trees lining the road were steadily being uprooted and Steven had all he could do to buck the wind. Something came flying by and hit him up along side the head opening a six inch gash that bled steadily. Trying to protect his head and ducking into his jacket he narrowed his grey eyes and could have swore he saw something red in the weeds up ahead about fifty feet to the right. Struggling mightily he kept moving steadily forward scared for the little one and what he would find. Wiping the blood from his eyes from the gash on the side of his head he tried to hurry, but the wind was holding him back. With his head bent forward and blood running down the side of his face he finally made it to that little boy in the red jacket. The boy lay so still that Stephen was worried he had been killed when the storm tossed him away from his mother. After rolling him over he bent down to feel for any body response like breathing etc. and after detecting a moaning sound from him, Stephen could only cover the child with his own body. When the ferosity of the storm had moved over them it slammed a tree down which landed on Steven and the child. With Steven it stunned him enough that they thought for awhile he would nnever walk again. Hitting him on the back it caused severe swelling and opened his back up up in several places which he had to have surjery for. The two weeks he had been missing he need to recuperate and longer but as he was in the same hospital as me, he heard my scream down the hallway. Waking up with my screams echoing in his ears he had came out of his private room after dressing and just watched me for they had already given me a shot to sedate me. He had been here ever since. The little boy had recovered with no ill side effects and his mother took the children on home after giving thanks for their help in her time of need. The nurses came running in the room insisting that Steven needed to go back to his private room and let me rest. Grinning, Steven said he was not leaving again,so they could just make this room a double if they had too, but he was staying. The charge nurse was very upset and started to give Steven a hard time about it but Steven was having none of it. He had made up his mind and holding his hand with my fingers intertwined around his I was in complete agreement. I knew that what Steven wanted he invaribly got in the end and he wanted me. I had no problem with that in the least. When the door finally shut behind everyone, I went into Stevens arms with no hesitation what so ever. I knew he would alwaysbe a partofme and could not forsee ever beingaway from him. My heart beat with his, in tune every step of the way. At the end of his life when his heeart finallyceases to beat I truly believe mine will stop at exactly the same time. That I feel, inside my soul. I had mentioned to Steven about John as we were relating what each of us had been through during the storm. "Who the hell does he think he is?" " I need to step up the manhunt on him, before he gets to you." taking me back in his arms he was very upset that they had not got any closer than before nd John appeared to come and go at will. "Ill get Shane on his track and that will put a stop to his antics." "Scoot over," and we'l share this bed" After all it's big enough if we scoocth close together, right?" Of course I agreed laughingly! Scooting over he manged to slide in under the top blanket saying he was leaving his clothes on for proprietiys sake. He did not want to shock the nurses or give me a bad rep! He's crazy but I love him anyway I thought to myself as I snuggled in next to his nice warm body. He kissed me on the hairline saying he didn't want to mess up any of my lines from the machines so we lay quietly until we both drifted off in sleep. Cuddled in each others arms when one would turn the other would turn in the same direction. I woke up several times during the night feeling his arms wrapped around me, his face snuggled into my neck and just felt complete peace in my heart. The nurses came in several times did what they had to do and left quietly giggling all the way out the door. Bright and early in the morning the hospital room blinds in our room came open with a shaft of bright spakling sun beaming right down on our faces awakening the both of us. Squinting my eyes I spooted Randy standing there grinning at the site of Steven and I with our bodies wrapped around each other looking back at him in outrage. Steven lunged at him grabbing him around the mid section and reaching for the cord that went to the blinds at the dame time. Randy was much quicker and kept the cord held way above his six foot five frame. Laughing at their antics, I sooted down under the blankets nestling in the warm spot that Steven had just vacated. They both glanced at me the same time and grabbed the blankets pulling them off the bed leaving me in my hospital gown. Wrapped and tangled above my waist I hurridly yanked it down but not before seeing Stevns very frank arousal in the front of his jeans and Randy blushing to the roots of his hair before turning his head in the other direction giving me time to collect myself. Steven sidled over and ran his fingers under the blankets up my thigh then upon meeting my fingers in resistance took his hand back out and gave me back my blankets chuckling all the while. When it was safe to turn back around Randy still had a red blush on his face and tried not to meet Stevens grin. The little candy striper who's name was Sandy came in bearing a tray for breakfast, saw all three if us in the room and tried to back up out the door. Randy grabbed the food tray out of her hands asking her if the cafeteria happened to be open yet and she stuttered yes clearly unsettled that the room had so many males in it that early in the morning. Steven asked where his tray was and was told it was also on its way so he started nibbling at mine while waiting for his. I slapped his hands playfullly of which he said," you'll pay for that later!" I would gladly! Randy mentioned he was starving and left to see what hospital food cafeteria tasted like. I felt sorry for the cafeteria workers this morning. Randy's non stop antics would keep them n stitches. My Doctor's came in right after the little candy stripers picked up the food tray and laughed as he saw Steven loitering in my room, dressed and already having his cowboy hat on his head. He said he would probably go ahead and release Steven but he did need to let him look at his back at the incisions first before he would sign any release papers. Completely unrestartined Stephen unbuttoned his shirt pulled it over his haed and turned his back toward the Doctor. The Doctor laughed and proceeded to look closely at the stithes. I glanced over at Stevens back and had to visibly restrarin myself from gasping. Along the side of his spine on both sides was two eight in long incisions that were raised and puffy still healing. They looked at odds with his golden tan and marred his beautiful body and I wanted to cry for him. But he took everything in stride not letting any of that bother him one whit saying there certainly was a minimal amount of pain when the Doctor applied a small amount of pressure around the area. The Doctor said he wanted to see Steven in his office within a week. Steven agreed all the while putting his shirtback on and leaving the last top two buttons unbuttoned. I grinned over at him and saw him grinning back at me playfully. The Doctor refused to release me yet saying I still needed my IV's in for a day or so and then possibly I could return home. Meanwhile Steven mentioned to him he wanted to be able to stay and keep an eye on me since John evidently was still in the vicinity. The Doctor said he had no problem with that as long as the nurses were not interrupted in what they had to do and things went along smoothly. Steven just burst out laughing and asked the Doctor how could they not run smooth!. Leave it up to Steven to put some humor into a serious conversation. The Doctor stood up to leave shaking Stevens hand then letting me know he would check in on me later after he had made his rounds in the hospital. The door closed silently behind him casting my room in a shadowed darkness with the blinds still closed. Steven walked around the bed, reaching for the cord to raise the blinds, letting sunlight bathe the room. It splashed across my coverlet feeling warm against my skin causeing my mood to lift. Steven seemed to always know just what to do to pull me up out of my dim thoughts. I yawned andSteven suggested I get a little more sleep while he went to find how Randywasfaring in the cafeteria. Tellingme he would be right back, he leanedover and kissed me deeply on my lips, leaving me hungrily wanting more. Laughing delightedly he walked out the door shutting it gently with a soft clic as he wnt. Snuggling comfortably under my blankets I soon yawned yet again and drifted off in a restful sllep feeling the warm sunlight play across my bed to warm my skin up. I was so relaxed I slept most of the day away not realizing that the nirses and Doctors had been in to change IV's and check on me repeatadly making sure all was well in my world. Steven had quietlyslipped in several times not waking me, just watching me while I slept. At no time was I by myself very long and my room was right across from the nurses desk so they could see who came and went each time. Each time I would roll over and open my sleepy eyes I would close them in fall back to sleep. It was very refreshing just to relax enough that I wasn't worried about anything anymore just stay warm, comfortable in my room and having no worries for once. When I awoke about seven in the evening all appeared quiet and my my door was just slightly ajar letting the soft light from the nurses's station shine in my room. The nurses were hurrying back and forth just changing shifts it appeared to me while laying in bed. Visitors were arriving and greeting the nurses,s on their way to visit sick relatives. This was a busy time of the day with different nurses getting off the elevators to work their shifts and other's leaving heading home after a long shift, I presume. I lay in my bed hoping I would have company as I was feeling so much more refreshed than I had earlier. My stomach was rumbling and I saw the food trays being delievered coming down the hall by candystripers. They were laughing and joking as they went from room to room. Youth had its sense of humor and I enjoyed watching their antics with each other. The smells coming from the trays kept wafting towards me and I was anticipating enjoying a wonderful eal even though everyone said it was just hospital food. Plain fare is what they called it witj no seasoning added and probably low fat too. When the elevator doors swished open again I saw all heads turn as Steven and Randy both emerged from them. Looking young and fit I could see the admiration in the nurses eyes and the look of envy as they both nonchalantly stolled past the desk. Both with cowboy hats tilted at a rakish angle low on their foreheads with tight blue jeans and leather cowboy boots on, they walked tall and proud of their maleness. You could tell by their smiles they knew they were being given the once over yet they were on a mission. Randy went by a yooung blonde nurse and visibly winked giving her a thumbs up sign. Steve just kept walking with that gentle shy grin looking straight ahead at me. They both walked slow and easy like a cougar stalking their prey. How could I be upset that these two guys were causeing such a stir on the hospital floor. The nurses were just paying them both a compliment by staring so openly at them. Reaching the door to my room, both hats came off automatically, and Steve took his hand to brush his hair back out of his eyes. Laughing at my look of constenation, he said" You my darling, have nothing to concern your pretty little head about." slapping his hat on his knee he continued" You couldn't chase me away if you wanted to." Looking him inhis grey eyes I added,"I don't want to." as I leaned over to run my hand inside his collar pulling him closer to me. Groaning he grabbed my hand and turning to Randy said,"See what I have to put up with, Randy?" "I get this kind of treatment all the time!" Don't I only wish in my wildest dreams!"Randy busy peeking out the door of my room came back with. We all laughed together in a frindlyway over the good natured banter going on. The little candy striper brought my tray in and sat it on the bedside table preparing to remove the lid. Steve took the lid out of her hand saying he would be more than happy to help me eat my lunch, all the time giving me this once over causing the candy striper to blush a faint red all the way up her neck. Backing away from the bed her back met resistence wheen Randy was standing directly behind her and put his hands around her waist to steady her. She looked as if one word from anyone and she would faint dead away. Looking longingly at the door she made a run for it and we all laughed as she skidded through it letting it slam behind her as she gained her freedom. Randy looked at me with a grin" What just happened?"as he kept looking at where she made her exit. "You embarrassed her, you rat!" "You know what happened!" I replied as I started eating part of a sandwich watching Steve bite down on the other half of my sandwich. Glaring at Steve I proceeded to put all the sandwich at least the half we were both trying to eat in my mouth.But he solved the issue by picking up the other half and eating it in two swallows. There went part of my lunch! The milk he let me drink while he finished my coffee saying it wasn't good for me! So much for enjoying a liesuerly lunch! We pulled out a checker game he brought with him while Randy went out to terrorize the nurses onthe floor. We could hear giggles at times and it sounded like they didn't mind one bit. Some of them even sent down for him to have a tray of food. Sometimes it just takes charm and curisma. Either way he had them eating out of his hand and he knew it with his good-looks and humorous attitude toward things. He could make people kaugh no mater what and set out to do just that. Maybe someday he would find just the right woman that could rein him in but for now he was playin foot loose and fancy free. Liking the attention he was receiving he wndered all over the hospital floor greeting everyone he passed with a grin and a howdy. They were entranced with him that was for sure. Steven beat me at checkers every time and I have to admit he was very good at knowing where to place is pieces. I had never had a lot of experience at playing but he said him and Randy had often sat down and played when they had time to kill. That is when they did not have to work or go out on a social engagement. They had met years ago and were forever running into each other on different assignments, always happy to see each other. They reminded me more of brothers than anything they were that close. They even closly resembled each other in looks and how they walked with a slight swing in their gait, kind of a lazy laid back walk where they were not in a hurry to get anywhere. With their slow drawl when they talked kind of a southern slang it gave them both their sexy appeal. Either way they both had their own personalities. At eight-thirty the lights at the nurses' station dimmed signaling the end of visiting hours. My Doctor walked in and on his way over to me said, Good evening, and how how you feeling tonight?" Biting my lip I told him," I'm ready to leave anytime if possible," Hospital food is not the best and I want a good old fashioned cheeseburger to snkmy teeth into!" He laughed as he pulled my top down a little and put his stehescope against my chest. "Thats cold Dr." I chuckled, when he took the ear pieces out of his ear. Glancing briefly at me he turned and asked Stevn if he was going to see that I behaved myself once I was back at home. Steven said I wouldn't be lifting a finger if he had anything to say about it. This made me feel so loving towards him that he had no qualms at letting others know I was his totally. After the Doctor had left to do rounds my mood was jubilant in that I would get to leave first thing in the morning. The Doctor promised to fill out the discharge papers before he left the floor as long as I promised to follow all his instructions to the letter. How could I not with both Steven and Randy standing right next to my bed agreeing with the Doctor in whatever he said? I knew I would be in deep trouble if I tried to do anything other thanwhat they agreed to. With a cowboy yell of victory they both celebrated my coming freedom so that the nurses on the floor came into see what was going on. After finding out that I was to be released they all filed back out leaving just Steven and I alone once again. "Do you want to go to your home or come home with me"Steven asked me as I was sliding down under my blankets on the bed. "That depends if you have room for me" I said with a shy grin on my face. "You little minx!" "I always have room for you" he grabbed me and kissed me on my neck nibbling lower until I had to stop him. "Okay, I'll come to your place until I get better but only until then" I laughingly shoved him away so I could still slide further down under my blankets covering my head with my pillow. Grabbing the pillow and flinging it to the side, he tilted my face up to his saying," I love you terribly, do you know that?" " Please come and share my place". " I better leave and go home to straighten out the place for tommorow". " But I'll be so glad to come and pick you up, I'm looking forward to having you all to myself". With that he silently crossed to the door, blowing me a kiss as he went. Silently the door slid shut behind him and with him he took my heart. I slept resltessly that night dreams invading my sleep time and time again. Thinking back on my sister and her death, the storm, John hovering around somewhere and everything I had been through brought on my old fears. Sometime in the middle of the night I heard the nurses coming in to cheeck on me whispering as they moved about then the soft shutting of the hospital door. The lights were dim so I could sllep and the hallways were whisper quiet but my ears seemed to be alert for any little odd noise. I just kept having flash backs and when I would drift off my sleep would be interrupted by them time and time again. Finally one of the nurses came in and tapped me on the shoulder gently to get my attention. Opening my eyes I turned towards her and she said," We took the liberty of calling your Doctor to order a sleeping tablet for you". " You need to take it, if your going to get any sleep at all." I took the glaas of water she handed me and the 2 capsules swallowing them instantly and handed her back the glass. Snuggling back under the blankets I tried to settle down and go back to sleep while she sat in a chair for a few minutes watching me." I'll just fill out some of my notes here until you drift off to sleep, maybe that will help you relax". I smiled and thanked her and soon found myself closing my eyes and fading off to sleep. Shortly after that the nurse gathered up her things and left to give reports to my Doctor. Bright and early the following morning my Doctor came into my room smiling and full of good cheer. He wanted to give me a last minute talking to before my two friends showed up to take me home away from this medical complex. He said he was worried about me getting enough rest and wanted to prescribe a few sleeping tablets just in case I would need them I agreed that would be fine if he insisted but I really didn't think once I was back with Stephen I would need any. Steven had a way about him, that when he was around, he held all of my attention and bad thoughts didn't have time to invade my mind. He kept me from dwelling on the past and myself. I liked that idea. Who in their right mind would be able to ignore Steven? He went out of his way to make my life easier than anyone I ever knew. But I rassurred myDoctor I would follow his istructions to the letter and be in his office he following week forr my check-up right along wth Stephen. As they were clearing away the breakfast trays I heard a ruckess out in the hallway and chanced a sneak peek out the door. I had been getting out of my hospital gown into some jeans and a shirt that Steven had droopped off to me the night before to wear home. Opening the door a little wider I spied Steven carrying a huge bouquet of roses tariling a bunch of multi colored ballons behind heading towards the nursing desk. Sitting them down on the counter, he explained there was a rose and balloon for each nurse that had cared for me during my stay and that he had ordered the whole floor pizza for lunch. The nurses gathered around the huge bouquet oohing over it and picking out their choices of balloons. Excitement was high as Steven glanced my way and gave me his cock-eyed grin and winked. Strolling over he grabbed me by the waist, tilting my face up to his and brushed his lips gently across mine in a heart searing kiss that shook my world up. How could this one man come in and steal my heart so easily with just a grin? Letting go of me he leaned up against the wall by my room looking lazily at me and tilting his hat forward almost covering up his grey eyes. " Are you ready to go or do I need to pack up for you?" Standing next to him I said gleefully," I'm already, I just need to hook this darn bra in back and I can't yet reach back that far"."Let me do the honors". he replied and quickly steered me back into my room, shutting the door. With my back towards him he lifted my sweater up and ran his fingers lightly around my upper back to the curves of my breasts. Then I felt him lean over and gently kiss my back and trail fiery little kisses up to my shoulders and neck all the while letting his hands glide smoothly carressing my breasts bringing the tips to attention with his fingers gently rubbing across them. My breath stopped in my chest and heat over came my entire body until I felt as if I would melt down into nothing if I could not take him inside of me. I felt his hard erection pressing against my backside pushing and straining to get free and my breathing caught each time he pressed toward me. Groaning he reached over and hooked my bra, all the while his breathing was as erratic as mine. Lord, I thought this was going to be so hard with us wanting each other and just us two in his house alone. But I also was pleasurably excited knowing that we both felt the same way and the temptation was there. Pulling myself together as one of the nurses aides came into my room with a wheelchair I hurriedly sat down while she adjusted the wheel chair legs to my height. Steven picked up my bags and as we came out the door Randy was waiting to get the word as to which door they would be taking me out of, so he could bring the car around. Randy drove a camaro, that he was proud of and he thought it might sit low enough I should have no problem getting in or out. After telling him where to pick me up we were on our way riding down the elevator with my prescriptions in the back of Stevens jeans pockets. I could tell I had lost a considerable amount of weight as my jeans were so loose around the waist and my blouse was baggier than it had been before. My eyes took in everything we passed and I was so happy to be leaving, the elevator could not have gone fast enough. The girl pushing my wheelchair kept up a running conversation with Steven as he followed up with my bags. On first floor we travelled on out the main automatic door looking around for Randy's firebird. As he pulled up, Steven first threw the bags in the trunk and then opened the car door helping me to take a seat in back then sliding in next to me. Leaning towards me before we took off with Randy at the wheel, he fastened my safety belt securely then tilted my faace up to run his llips across mine. Leaning back he rested his head on th eback of he seat smiling briefly then fastened his belt. Looking at him I could tell he was dog tired and felt remourse in that he had been giving me all the attention when he had not been getting the care he needed. after all he had had a bad back surjury himself and here he was putting me first. He needed someone around that could look after him also and care about him and I determinedthat that person was going to be me. He was such a giving person that he went out of his way for everyone else so someone needed to be there for him I sumised in my thohghts. If I could give him comfort with my body so be it, I would. I had made up my mind on that as I took in his tired careworn face leaning back on thecar seat. I saw Randy glance back a few times in the rear view mirror watching me watching Steve. "Looks like he's totally beat down, doesn't it?" He said low enough that he didn't awaken Steven. Scooting a little out towards th eend of my seat I said," I noticed that he looks so tired and wonder how he can keep up with everything he's been doing?" "Well, one thing is, he took a month off work to heal and keep tabs on you he was so worried," "I just hope he slows down and don't try burning the candle at both ends."Randy mentioned as he turned to drive onto the ramp going on to the interstate." You know he loves you very much, don't you?"" He sat up a few nights all night just watching you then one night I found him sitting by the fireplace at his home with traces of tears running down his face." "Thats when he thought he'd lost you."" He made me promise I wouldn't tell you but I had my fingers crossed in back of me." With that admission Randy chuckled low in his throat. Cruising along at about sixty miles per hour it took us about an hour to reach Stevens home in the country.Pulling off the interstate we went down a blacktop road and entered a paved drive that led up to Steven's home. I had not ever been there and as far as I was knew we had never broached the subject of where he lived. Looking around me as we pulled up I could see the house come into view. It was a five bedroom two storie farm house with an enclosed all season porch running around the front of the house. A trellis with climbing roses wrapped itself around the porch and stretched along the wooden railing. The driveway itself was paved and his police cruiser sat in the two car garage with the garage door left open. A gazebo stood out in the side yard with lawn chairs and tables waiting for guests to come and relax. Several barns that were in good shape dotted the scene out behind the house, and I could see cows and horses in a few of the enclosed fence pastures closer to the main road. Randy let me know that Steven had inherited the farm from his parents who had passed away several years before due to an automoble accident. Since then Steven did all the up keep in between working as a policeman but that he enjoyed the country life immensely. He said Stehen loved horses and had been to quite a few rodeos. Although recently he had been way to busy to attend any and most of them were out of state. Shutting off the engine Randy and I sat there a few minutes just looking at the view. It was beautiful and I could see hwere Steve would love it. Large shade trees dotted the yard and as I looked two horses came near the fence enclosure to stare back at us. Stevn stirred and broughthis head up off the seat blinking his eyes looking around. " That was quick, I must have fallen aslee." he yawned and started to climb out. Reaching over to unfasten my belt I cliced his open first then brought his lips down to meet mine brushing over his upper lip ever so light. Putting myhand behind his collar on his neck I leaned into him and grinned shyly while lightly running my fingers along his inner thigh. Seing the swelling starting in his jeans I ran my fingers back along it and climbed out the drivers door leaving him sitting in th eback seat stunned. Randy let out a belly laugh, grabbedmy bags from the trunk and started toward the front doors. Thi just might be a world of fun, I thought as I followed Randy up the front steps. Just as Randy and I enetered the foyer, Steven came running up and grabbed me around the waist whispering,' You my sweet one will pay dearly for that kiss and touch in the car!" Of which I heatedly replied," I sure as heck hope so!" watching his eyes widen in surprised awareness of what I was really saying. He patted me on my bottom letting his hand linger and I just backed up in to his palm for a fraction of a second and his eyes widened even further! Walking on into the kitchen following Randy I heard Stevens sharp intake of breath before he joined us. Putting my bags down on the floor by the kitchen table, Randy and Steven went over to the refrigderator opening the door and taking out a beer popped open the lid and swallowed thirstily before tossing the can in a recycling bin by the kitchen back door. After finishing off their beer, Steven grabbed up my bags and led the way to a guest bedroom upstairs to the left. Randy stayed in the kitchen checking for any messages that might have come in while they both were gone. Depositing my bags next to a walk-in closet Steven sat me down on the side of a King size oak bed. It had a pale yellow linen coverlet on it with a white dotted swiss bedspraed.Yellow dotted swiss curtains hung at the windows with a light breeze blowing through causeing them to move gently. The wallpaper was a light white with yellow flowers dancing through out it. With sunshine coming through the dormer windows it felt so cozy especially when my eyes landed on the wooden oak rocking chair in front of the stone fireplace.This was a beautiful room with the old fashioned woodwork and great high ceilings. I already loved his home ad this was the first time of me being in it. Leaning forward I untied my shoestrings taking off my shoes. Steven went to get me a glass of water out of the bathroom that was connected to this bedroom. I could see a big over sized claw footed bath tub dominating the bathroom itself. That room was done in all white with pale yellow curtains at the windows but the floor had a light yellow shag carpet on it that begged for your toes to be buried in it. Big fluffy towels were hanging from the towel bars and an overstuffed teddy bear sat in a smal child sized rocker. Coming back with the water I could tell that Steven was plaesed that I loved his home. He was excited having me here and I was so happy that he wanted me to share it with him. He had let me know just by his actions that we were going to make this permanet just as soon as I could get away from John. That was one subject that we had not talked about yet but eventually it woould come up, I knew. John as far as I knew was my past and Steven is my future. And Lord, I wanted that future with Steven so bad! Just let ithappen I prayed with every fiber of my being. Handing me the water, I took a few sips and scooted my shoes under the bed. Steven handed me a pair of pajamas and a robe out of my pack and leaned over for a sweet kiss letting his lips linger on mine. Giving him a gentle shove I rose to my feet and headed into the bathroom, closing the door and hearing his quiet laughter outside the door. I heard Randy lightly come upstairs letting Steven know there was a phone call waiting for him downstairs in the den. There was a few more whisperings and I heard them both go running back down the stairs. I started the tub water so I could take a relaxing bath puring in some gardenia bubble bath I had saw sitting on the small table next to the tub. That along with some sweet smelling soap and I was ready for a long soak. The water warmed up nicely with big bubbles comimg up all over and I climbed in eagerly. Sinking down amongst the bubbles I inhaledthe smell of gardenias, loving every soothing part of myexperience. Lathering up my arms and legs I hummed a short merry tune I had heard on the radio then pulled my hair forward in order to shampoo it also. If I was going to bathe I might as well make sure I was clean from top to bottom. Pulling the plug I finished and hung my wash cloth on the side of the tub to dry. Then I reached for a big fluffy bath towel and wrapped my clean body in that to sit down and dry my hair. Grabbibg another bath towell I quickly ran it over my hair vigourously getting most of the drippy water out. Standing I tucked the big body towel more firmly around me and reached for a big comb to get the tangles out of my hair. After a few strokes of the comb, I applied body powder that was on the same small table I had found the bubble bath, wondering idily how Steven had come about having female items in this room. Did he frequently have women guests that he hadn't mentioned or did Randy have company here too. After all Randy appeared very at home here also. Putting on my pajamas and my robe I opened the bathroom door surprised that no one was in my room but me. I thought for sure Steven would be back from his telephone call by now but I could hear low talking coming from one of the downstairs rooms. Going over and sitting on the bed I just enjoyed the low murmurings downstairs and the warmth of the sunshine streaming in through my bedroom window. Reflecting off the hardwood floors it leant a natural warmth to the room and slowly I yawned covering my mouth. The warmth was making me feel cozy so I slipped my robe off and pulled the bedspread and coverlet down sinking into the featherbed with delight. Pulling the pillow under my head I could still hear faint mummerings from below but I slipped into sleep instantly with my arm outflung over the side of the bed. My whole body slept dreamlessly with no thoughts to terrorize me or keep me awake this time. I was safe, clean and drowsy with no sleeping pills to help me fall fast sleep. Sometime in the middle of the night I rolled over in sleep snuggling in deeper and felt a warm breath on my cheek and warm arms wrap around me tightly. I could smell the fresh warm scent of soap and the familiar odor of the light woodsy secent that Steven wore constantly. His naked body was still damp in spots so I knew he must have just finished his shower or bath and slid uder the blankets to hold me. Tilting my chin up so I could see into his grey eyes he touched my lips with his passiontely and posseviely claiming my body as his, branding me forever from anyone else. Touching me and feeling my love coming through he stroked me slowly building me up to a peak and whispering of sweet things to come in my ear. My tension mounted and I blended my body as close to Steven as I could possibly get still wanting to claim hime as my own. I stroked him unmerciessily while our ecstasy kept building and sweat was pouring off both our bodies to mingle on the linen sheets. Panting and plunging like a stallion and mare we challenged each other until finally one great plunge and we were riding the stars with the world at our feet. We both collapsed on the bed our breathing ragged and our chests hurting. Stroking my hair John began to talk quietly and earnestly in a whisper. He spoke of his deep love and respect for me and that he wanted us to be together always into eternity. He reached over and kissed my swollen lips and his eyes held mine. I watched him as he talked his chest moving up and down his sweet smile and I felt truly blest to have found this man in my lifetime. I rolled over and ran my finger across his soft lips shushing him while I kissed him deeply and earnestly. Soon we were joining our bodies once again in the age old rthyum of love. During the night we awoke several times, once just to snuggle in closer to each other and then again to make deep passionate love. It felt like we could easily devour each other in our reckless abandonment. Finally pure exhaustion over took us both and we fell asleep holding on tightly to one another with his chin resting lightly on the top of my head and me curled up against his chest contentedly. Sunshine streamed in through the bedroom window the next morning and I could hear humming in the bathroom when I rolled over and didn't feel Stevens warmth agaisnt me like I had all night. Opening one eye agaisnt the brightness of the sun I peeked towards the open door of the bathroom spotting Steven with a towel around his lean hips shaving at the sink. Moving his jaw first one way and then the other while he shaved, he was humming a childs song that I had sang in my childhood, called" Let the sun shine in" I had not heard that song in years even though it was always a favorite of mine. Splashing cleear water on his face from the faucets he continued his shaving not knowing he was being watched. His chest was bare and all he wore was the low slung towel to cover his nakedness. With the bathroom door ajar I was clearly enjoying the scenery. Turning with shaving soap on his face Steven grinned at me and came to a stop in the middle of his song. Hurriedly washing off the extra creme he came out of the bathroom with a slow easy walk and sat down on the side of the bed leaning over to give me a light kiss full of meaning, deepening as he went on. I allowed part of the coverlet to drop down enticing him and he leaned down to kiss an engorged nipple, delicately sucking on it arousing my desire ten fold. I could feel a lanquid warmth steal through my body and wrappeed my arms around his neck pulling him closer and dragging him, not against his wishes, in under the blankets with me! Chuckling he let go of my nipple carressing me as his sleek body fitted it self to mine. With just a little encouragement we had joined again and spent a good satisfying hour enjoying each other. Falling asleep we both awoke an hour later to hear Randy beating our bedroom down and yelling," Are you two ever going to come out of there?" "No!" We both shouted at the same time laughing as we shared a few delicate nibbles with each others lips. "I'm coming in if you don't show up downstairs in fifteen minutes!" was his retort as we heard him clomping downstairs like a chastened kid! Then we heard the rattle of pots and pans, singing off key and the phone jangling at the same time. " For crying out loud, let's go see what's up," Steven said after listening to the racket below. Throwing back the coverlet we both crawled out of bed and grabbed our clothes so we could find out what was so all fired important that he would beat on our door for. After all none of had to go to work at least for a numberof days and as far as we knew the house wasn't on fire so what's the rush? Steven was the first to get dressed and headingdown the stairs but I had to at least brush my teeth and check my hair. I do not like the tousled just out out of bed look so decided to brush it at least a few strokes before heading out to the stairs. Starting down I could hear voices in the kitchen and recognized them as Steven's and Randy's but a new strange voice was talking as I breezed through the door to the kitchen. The stranger I did not recognize so I stayed silent while walking over to the cabinet to grab a glass for some milk. Going on to the refrigerator I could feel eyes on me and the talking had stopped. As I turned around I saw all three men staring at me and looked over at Steven with a question in my eyes. Steven, reaching out to sit my milk glass on the table and taking the milk from my hand to pour the milk, told me to please sit down for a minute. Then as he opened the refrigerator to put the milk back he said, pointing to the stranger. "This is Detective Skinner and he has some news about your husband John." Closing the door to the fridge he added," It isn't good news and we were trying to figure out how to tell you this." Then Detective Skinner continued what Steve had started saying. Mrs. ----John was found late last night in the garage at your home. He was in the car you and he had shared and left a suicide note to you and one to us. It claimed he killed his mistress and unborn child, tried to abduct you and kill you, tried to have you committed to an insane asylum then changed his mind when you obtained an inheritence. He said you had every reason to hate him and he now hated himself. That is the essence of his goodbye note to you and to us. Is there anything you need to ask me. I was stunned and just sat there taking it all in. My first thoughts were why did he do it, but then maybe its what his mixed up crazy mind had told him to do. As I turned to look at the Detective he continued to talk. " I should explain a little cleare and that is John did not finish the job on himself. He is at the hospital in the medical Pshyciatric ward as we speak and not doing well. He is basically in a coma and has not surfaced as yet. Right now all we know is he's still breathing and he's alive though barely." Again I was stunned into silence first looking at Randy then letting my gaze fall on Steven. I sat there in shock not knowing what I wanted to do but knowing what I had to do. Its very hard at a time like this when you are faced with a husband that needs you, no matter if he wronged you, and your lover who is so much your future. My mind skittering back and forth like a rat in a trap I held Stevens gaze for an interminable amout of time. Randy cleard his throat and brought us all three out of our thoughts and back to the present reality. Standing up and pacing the kitchen floor, getting myself a cup of coffee with a trembling hand, I looked again at John and as I sat the cup back on the table said, " Would someone please take me to John?" I saw Steve physically flinch at my words but still he answered,"I"ll take you to the hospital my love". Right then I knew that here was the man I loved even though I knew I had hurt him. Getting our jackets John helped me put mine on, asked directions from the Detective and told Randy to keep an eye on the place til we returned. When he included me in that statement I felt my heart soar at his words. Closing the door behind us we walked to the car and as he shifted gears, he pulled me over next to him keeping one hand on my knee absently rubbing it. Driving Steven kept his eyes on the road and I watched him wondering what he was thinking as he absently rubbed my knee goin round and round in circles. What would Ifind once I arrived at the hospital and what would the outcome be for John. I had been married to him for a umber of years so didn't that mean I owed the man something? I just was in a qudrey wondering what all this was to mean and how it would end up. My love for Steven was so dufferent than the feelings I had for John. Steven was the essence of my soul and my heart where John had become the dark side of things. Steven glanced down at my up turned face and saw the glimmer of tears in my eyes. Taking his handkerchief out of his back pocket he gave it to me." Here, wipe the tears away and keep you chin up" "lIfe sometimes hands us lemons and when it does we make lemonade." "Wait til you get to the hospital before you make any decisions then you'll know what the situation is a little clearer and be able to handle it all better"." Right now your emotions are writtian all over your face". Then he chucked me under my chin and looked back out at the road. Wiping the tears from my eyes I stayed silent watching the scenery pass by in a daze. Others lifes flowed past so easily but mine ended up being all curvrs it felt like. Why couldn't mine run smoothly and straight, I didn't need this to complicate things. Then my guilty conscious stepped in to make me feel bad about John and guilty for sleeping with Steven as john was in the garage contemplating suicide. What kind of wife was I anyway? I was no better than John as far as being unfaithful I just didn't do it in front of him like he did me. I did it behind his back which in all probability was worse. I was at this time feeling lower than a worm. The silence in the car was deafening and Steven absently glance down at me saying," Don't" You have did nothing wrong and nothing to be ashamed of." "I am not ashamed of loving you and I will be by your side as long as you want me". Just don't tell me to go".With that he looked back at the road and I looking down at my hands resting on my lap said nothing. Why? I should have at least answered him, he was being so honest and told me how he flet, the least I could do was reassure him of my love but I just sat there being stupid. I could say I was in shockbut I now know that wasn't it. I was feeling oh so guilty about loving Stevn and seeing my husband brought back painful memories but I had once long ago loved John. Unfaithfullnes did not sit well with me especially since I was guilty of the same thing I was accusing John of. Arriving at the hospital parking lot Steven shut off the engine to the car. Startinng to climb out and come over to open my car door, I put my hand on his hand to stop him. Looking at him I said,"Please this is somethig I need to do alone. Would you just wait here until I get back". Steven sat back down in his seat not saying a word. Climbing out my side, I would not look at his hurt face, instead hurrying toward the front hospital doors. I knew I had hurt Steven deeply choosing to go in by myself but it did not feel right taking my lover into the hospital to face my husband. Even though we were both unfaithful did it make it right? Anymore I had no idea what to think.
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