This was excellent! Your word use is truly spectacular.
I began reading this silently, but at the line "Snap, crack, everything came back" I realised what injustice I was doing to such a rhythmic masterpeice. Read aloud this truly has the markings of a great poem--an irresistable beat and the way you have to think about the words to form them without stuttering.
The only thing I noticed was the repeated use of the word "limpid." I think I only noticed it because--in my ignorance--I've never heard the word before. Possibly if I had previously been used to the word I wouldn't have noticed, so you may want to ask the opinion of someone who has expanded their vocabulary to a greater capacity.
Very good though. I am thoroughly intrigued by the experiences that have lended you the words for such poetry.
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