Well, if you are wondering about the title, it refers to this entry. I have a bad memory and I keep forgetting this journal, hidden in my port somewhere. I am so thankful to Willow for his gracious comment on an entry in here which brought me back. And it is unexpected, because I have nothing to write except tell you all about what is going on around me. It's 11pm, 2 April 2011. But does it seem like that time of the night?? Nope. It feels like Christmas, New Year, Diwali, call it what you may. Everyone's out on the streets, there are firecrackers all around and even though I am sitting in my room, I know it's real festive outside. Everyone is in such an amazing mood. And there's a reason to that. Being such a cricket-crazy country, as we are, it's more than a new year as India has lifted the World Cup after a long 28 years!! And it feels damn good!

We are cricket-fanatics here (I would say leave me out. I am more into football than cricket). But with such mood and festivity around, I feel amazing too. I feel uplifted and happy. There are very few things that bring this country together and cricket is one amongst those. So well, no matter what the reason, we are together, united. So many religions, castes today are together celebrating the victory of India. And I am just overwhelmed!
 

Somehow, this Christmas, for me, was the least best of all. I say least best, and not worst, because no matter what, I was with my family and it's a blessing to be with them.

I am not a Christian but I have celebrated Christmas since years now. I began when I was a child, celebrating by being the Santa Claus. I know it sounds really funny now. But I used to distribute my year long savings of candies amongst my family, giving them the one they wanted most - my mom, dad, sis and grandpa. And of course, hanging my stockings in the night was a ritual too. Oh, anyway, so much for my blabbering...

Somehow, Christmas and the day after, which was supposed to be a great long weekend, wasn't so. Inspite of making a cake, sharing with my family and watching 'Santa Claus 2' on the TV, it didn't feel festive. I felt hollow inside. Something was missing from my life and I had thoughts of ending it. No, don't get me wrong. I am a God-fearing person and an optimist at my best. I love my family and can't desert them. But things in my life, people surrounding it, nothing felt alright. My relationships, my feelings all felt troubled.

And to top it all, I haven't written anything since almost a year now and the worst thing is I think I have forgotten how to write...



P.S. Hannah Hannah-Paper Doll Gang reminded me to hop back in by gracing my journal with an awardicon and Karen was the inspiration behind this. She gave me thanks-love-hope.

ID: 1509062   (Rated: 18+) The Fabric of My Life  "I write, I compose, and run my fingers through the fabric of my life." Karen's motto by Karen

Where am I now with my poetry writing? Where do I want to be?

I have thoroughly enjoyed this journey, be it the assignments or the fellow travellers...I have been enriched and so has my perspective and poetry writing. But well as Robert said..."miles to go before I sleep..". There's lot of places I wish to go with my poetry writing and this is just a step in the journey..but a wonderful and learning experience in all.

On the journey,
made friends anew.
A new perspective
arose in mind.
Muse befriended
and became intimate,
while wisdom from travellers
inspired the soul.
The lessons learned
about writing and living.
Now seen from new heights,
the gaze pierced to the inside.
Calm and peace are now mine
as I reach towards
the journey of life...



When I finally wrote the conclusion poem, I had another thought which was strikingly different from my conclusion poem..Here it is.

Sparkling below the surface,
gleaming into my eyes,
there lies the elixir
for living a wonderful life.
Far from my hands,
though resting in my vision,
alluring me to itself,
with its tempting shine.
Slowly I move forward,
closing onto it,
grabbing with a need so great
but emptiness is all it takes.
 

Take a look at your responses to the survey in Week One. Have your thoughts changed? How have they changed? Write your current answers in your journal. Post them in forum if you wish.


The following response to "Beginning Survey - The Journey" was received:

[1.] 1. Expectations:
Answer: Well, I am looking forward to knowing poets in the course.

I am going through a phase where I am not so much in tune with myself..and I somehow intutively feel that this course will help me in some way..don't worry thats not exactly , my expectations from the you, Karen..i know it will happen..its been a part of my life..

I dont come with many expectations..there's no place I must reach..I just want to savor the journey. :)

[2.] 2. Poetry Writing Experie:
Answer: I wrote my first poem about 8 years back..After, that there was a long gap of 2years..I have been more constant since last 5 years.

[3.] 3. Poetry Writing Experi:
Answer: Poetry, to me, is a form of letting out, expressing. I am a very private person and not too comfortable with dicussing my deep feelings. I find pen and paper to be my friends at those moments. The words just flow out of me..and I go with the flow.

[4.] 4. Favorite Poet(s):
Answer: I do not really read poetry out of WDC. I have a few favorite poets on the site, though.Some of them are "Tornado Day", "Ella Viaja", "Pat".

[5.] 5. Poetry Prejudices:
Answer: Since Things just flow out of me, its free verse.. I find other forms break my thought and I dont like the rigid nature of the forms that take away my concept..

Though, I am keen to learn new forms..and I have bee experimenting lately, with acrostics, sonnets etc.

[6.] Time Zone:
Answer: 6:30 am

[7.] Time OnLine:
Answer: Somewhere around 3-5hours.

It would be between 9pm-12am according to my time.

[8.] Journey View:
Answer: (a) Enjoying the travel along the way



End of Journey Response:


[1.] 1. Expectations:
Answer: My expectations and my intuition were very right..I got what I wanted out of the journey and even more..

[2.] 2. Poetry Writing Experie:
Answer: I have learnt a lot better the form of writing not just my feelings per say, but also on prompts that are given, thanks to the journey.

[3.] 3. Poetry Writing Experi:
Answer: Poetry, to me, is a form of letting out, expressing. I am a very private person and not too comfortable with dicussing my deep feelings. I find pen and paper to be my friends at those moments. The words just flow out of me..and I go with the flow.......these feelings remain the same..pen..my best friend..or rather the keyboard for now!

[4.] 4. Favorite Poet(s):
Answer: I do not really read poetry out of WDC. I have a few favorite poets on the site, though.Some of them are "Tornado Day", "Ella Viaja", "Pat"... a few additions to the list... Dan Sturn, Karen, Mary, Nonnie ..

[5.] 5. Poetry Prejudices:
Answer: Since Things just flow out of me, its free verse.. I find other forms break my thought and I dont like the rigid nature of the forms that take away my concept..

Though, I am keen to learn new forms..and I have been experimenting lately, with acrostics, sonnets etc.

I have been better at accepting forms, especially prompts, as part of the journey.

[6.] Time Zone:
Answer: 6:30 am

[7.] Time OnLine:
Answer: Somewhere around 3-5hours... it has reduced considerably since my computer had problems.

It would be between 9pm-12am according to my time.

[8.] Journey View:
Answer: (a) Enjoying the travel along the way....remains the same... I had fun, I learnt a lot and made some great friends.


 

"Where am I now with my poetry writing? Is it a different place than it was before I started on The Journey? "


Well, I learnt about multivalance, response poetry and seed poem, which was new for me. Though earlier I had written my response poems, I did not know there was a name for it. Same goes for multivalance.

I have discovered in these few weeks, that it is not always so difficult to write on a topic that is not your own..because even if the topic is someone else, you write down your thoughts and feelings, nevertheless.

I have written a lot in these few weeks considering the writer's block I was facing earlier.

I have seen that rhyming comes easily to some people which gave me the motivation to try it for myself and I am happy with the result.

Yes, this certainly is a differnt place than where I started from. I have learnt, thought about and created poetry these last few weeks.

 

I am feeling very heavy tonight...the last week of the journey does not help..not in the least...I am more comfortable with beginnings than endings..I know I should learn but then..
 

Did it feel intimidating to create a response poem to one of the "Masters?"
Very intimidating. It took me a few readings of the poem and a few searches on the internet to understand what the poem meant. And writing in response was an even daunting task.
Very difficult..


Was the form of the poem a help or deterrent to your creation of a response poem?
Well, at first, it seemed to be a deterrent since it rhyming in places and I am more confortable with free verse...but then somehow it motivated me enough to write in rhyme and that is a great motivation for me.


Why do you think your poem is: a) as good as Shelley's, b) not as good as Shelley's?
Not as good as Shelley's.


If you said that your poem was not as good as Shelley's, what could you do to make it as good?
Umm...I don't know, perhaps I need to understand Shelley's poem in a much better way than I already have, in order to write a better response.

 

How The Journey is going for me.

The journey is going well.. though at times, I am running behind, struggling to be on time. I am learning a lot from my own as well as fellow poets' experiences and poems.


What paths you wish we would take in the next two weeks

Well, I don't know..everything has been unexpected and new in this journey..so i don't dare imagine..just wanna enjoy whatever comes on next...



 

Well, when I read the concept of "seed poem", it sounded really interesting. But when I found out that I had to do it..I was nervous, almost scared.

I went about looking for poems by poets on journey, looking for something that would speak to me. My search ended on Karen's poem "Sorrow".

It spoke to me the way I would experience and feel.. it was almost as if I was the one thinking about it and not Karen, who wrote it.

Something in her poem arose similar feelings in me and words just flew out of me..


Silence

The restlessness within,
lurking beneath,
visible enough
for the world to see.

Yet no one stops,
neither waits nor looks,
busy in their life
as if all is well.

Who will come to my rescue,
bereft me of the pain, I feel?
Kiss my cheek and hold me near.
Hug me and drive away the fear.

No one knows what I feel inside
as I pretend all is fine, and smile.
The tears shine within my eyes,
voice choked, limbs numb.

Light from my life has gone,
all that is left now, is pain.
Darkness overpowers,
leaving me blind, the one with eyes.
 

Our moments of inspiration are not lost though we have no particular poem to show for them; for those experiences have left an indelible impression, and we are ever and anon reminded of them." - -- Henry David Thoreau


It’s difficult to describe,
all that has inscribed
its impression on my mind.

Everyday something touches my heart.
Feelings and emotions anew arise.
It’s hard to pen down.

But experience stays on
Till eternity, in my memory.
Waiting for my muse..



A poem on the same topic written by me many years back :

ID: 1511578   (Rated: E) Untold  On not being able to turn everything into poetry. by Christina~save my membership?