2010 has been a roller coaster ride I’ll never forget because as always with my life there was good and bad. I didn’t think I would make it to be honest, but here I am. This past year has taught me a few things about the one I love, and about myself. 8 months of hell with two weeks of heaven followed by a downhill spiral that is trying to even itself out. On the family front well….things couldn’t be worse I have come to terms that I’m not my younger brother and sister’s father because they have one, although I am someone they look up to as that when the time is needed yet I realize now that they don’t need me telling them right and wrong and though many have told me this before I realized it myself yet they needed me still, but now that is all over and to be perfectly honest I don’t really care for the people they are turning into, but my hope is that what I have shrived to teach them shows Itself in the future decisions they have to make.

My love, well this is a subject I wanted to keep closely guarded because she is so special to me. I love her with every fiber of my being, not saying that I wasn’t cautious going into this; there were some moments there when I did not think we would make it, however there was always a glimmer of light whenever bad times hit. I have come to know her very well, and she has come to know me.

2010, made me take a break from WDC which needed to happen because life was kicking my butt. The break down is as follows...

The Bad: I have learned that as much as I would like to ignore this fact my mother isn’t getting any younger which makes things harder for her that didn’t used to be. My love is going through some things of her own and for a while made me question the status of our union *things can’t stay perfect in any relationships there are ups and down to happen every once in a while* There seem to be lies and misdirection going on all around me lately which I can’t stand. I believe if you feel a certain way just get it out no matter how much it’ll hurt. My family is falling apart, with everyone going their own separate direction.

Without knowing it I lost two people close to me at the end of this past year and unfortunately it had to happen on Christmas and New Year’s, two days that have been proving to be horrible for me.

The Good: I had two wondrous two weeks with this woman who makes me happy beyond anything this world has to offer. Since coming back to WDC I have put into action a few things that will be good for all its members and I’m trying my hand at the Newsletters again. I made myself a cross country trip and met new people who I keep in contact with and are actually pretty cool. I have two job offers that may take me out of state which will be an amazing experience. Last, but certainly not least since being away I’m writing again. ^.^

If you enjoyed reading my previous blogs well things will be a bit more interesting in my 2011 blog because there will be a few more changes I’m making and I’ll chronicle the achievement of the goals I’ve set for myself. *I hate having a secret that I can’t reveal yet*

New Blog

ID: 1649206   (Rated: 18+) Destruction of a Fractured Mind  What happens when you have a fight with your mind? Does that sound crazy? by Lonewolf - Catching up

So, today is Saturday and well it turned out pretty much like I thought it was going to....it sucked...a count down has started that well doesn't make me feel at all happy it's all really depressing to be honest. It seems my luck has finally run out but hey you can't always win. I'm not going to talk much about my day because it makes me sad and right now I just can't deal with this saddness so I made a decision about something I'm going to do and it'll start Monday so I'm a little excited well it's more like a flicker of light surrouned by cold solid darkness. Anyway, over the next couple of days I'll be making some changes to my port which is a good thing...yay!

The truth is the poor thing (my port) has needed a little make over for a while now, but I haven't really had the time or the patients to do either and now that I'm thinking about it I really don't have the patients to do it now. Oh, I should talk about my birthday. I thought it was going to suck because I wasn't able to do what I wanted to do which upset me but then I get online and what do I see? Well I see this "We Like Blue Too...?"  and I must say that I was totally surprised. If you want to sign it by all means have at it This was all due to my little awesome sister inrain; she truly is awesome. I cannot express my thanks enough for all the wonderful things said, and for Jannie, she totally blew me away and I will always remember what she has done for me.

As with the other blog I would like to name a few more people that has made my WDC experience amazing.

In no particular order...

Soccie I met socks when I was writing in campfires one of the main reasons I finally joined WDC instead of just look around. She has since become a good friend that I can talk to about pretty much anything. She has excellent poetry skills and a story lurking in her port that is awesome, if you have the time please check her port out.

HuntersMoon - Gone4Awhile I have met a lot of members here on WDC, but this guy here truly has a talent for poetry that is just beyond words. I met him by roaming the forest of WDC looking for new poetry that I could try and low and behold I find his port ripe with all sorts of poetry that is all really great reads. If you are looking for awesome poetry well look no further than Huntersmoon's port you will not be disappointed. He inspired a few of my poems and I'm sure with all he has there you will be too.

The StoryMaster and The StoryMistress Now I was going to have both of these two amazing people separate, but then I thought wait....they are a team so they should be together If it wasn't for the hard work and dedication they both have to WDC none of us would be here nor able to do any of the things we do here. I don't think I can thank them both enough for all the time and work they put into the site. You both are awesome! Keep up the great work.

aeroshika I'm trying to find the right words to describe another awesome sister of mine. There are words, but they just don't seem to do her justice. Aero is....the mysterious one (insert ooh's and ahh's) nah she's one of the sweetest people I know. Her sense of humor not to mention quick wit is something phenomenal. Her writing ability is off the charts. While crusing through her port I read so many things that I could relate to and much of it had me saying: "Yeah. I know right?" If you haven't been to her port to read her amazing items I suggest you hop on over there


There are many who I met while on WDC that have passed on and for them all I can say is thank you for allowing me to be a part of the life you made here on the web. As for anyone else that I may have missed, well you all know how awesome I think you are and show you when I have a chance. Thank you all so much!

 

I feel like I’m on a sinking ship and the world is looming ahead of me like some kind of giant monster biding its time to consume me entirely and sitting here as I write this thinking about that doesn’t exactly put a smile on my face. I sit here thinking about everything that is going on not to mention all the things I would really like to be doing right now, and it is a far cry better than what I need to be doing I can tell you that. Can you imagine a deserted beach somewhere with the wind blowing a gentle breeze the sun warming your skin with a good book in your hands that you have always wanted to read? No? Ah, well that is something that has been on my mind and if there is a special woman with me reading or just to keep company I would not be opposed to that at all. I often think about running away to something like this because that is just too tempting an offer.

I hate Saturdays so much now….but anyway.

As I sit here thinking about all of this my heart weeps because it is just out of reach something I wish was not so. I’m still unhappy and had an interesting conversation about the differences between unhappy and upset where I stated that Unhappy was where a person is affected over a long period of time whereas Upset is where one is affected in a more immediate time. I believe this to be very true, however I may be wrong but at the moment I am unhappy, so on with the blog….yay! (Sorry momentary interjection because of a special little one that travels around WDC *whispers: Jannie*

I have had people here on WDC that has made my life here amazing as I stated before, and not from doing very much just listening or talking and yes, even reviews have been able to make my day. It’s nothing like getting a 5 star rating on something and the person generally express love for what you have written. I don’t know if it is just me but that puts a pretty solid smile on my face. I guess I should kick things off with people who have really helped over my years here on WDC followed with the reason.

In no particular order besides how they come to mind are….

Purple ~ a most amazing author that has made me think about things on more than one occasion. Theresa is a most thoughtful and caring friend.

Wiskers ~ My first rising star and a fellow author that to me is my little sister with an imagination that puts me in awe. love ya little sis.

inrain ~ Now this author often known as Jannie or from me my youngest little sister. I love her to bits. She organized my WDC party, which touched my heart on so many levels. Meeting her was by chance and on one crazy night that I woulcn’t change for the world.

WhoMe??? ~ Ah, my big sister, well I didn’t have any big sisters that I could turn to when I needed someone to talk to until I met this wonderful woman. The poems that Jenny writes seem so easy and their flow just goes so well together, and her stories are excellent as well, so if you have time please stop by and check her out for yourself.

iKïyå§ama ~ I really don’t know where to place Miss Kiyasama because she is just all around amazing and when I say amazing I use this term because she is truly more than amazing for all she does when she has the time. Breathtaking signatures and so many other things around this awesome site she has an amazing personality and so generous the talent this woman has is off the scales. I’m sure everyone would agree with me.

Gothic Angel gone ~ Kristy a most talented author and poet, and even if her talents are a bit on the dark side it does not take away from the mind blowing originality behind it. She saw something in me that sparked her interest and for that, I cannot thank her enough. She made me her Rising Star and on a path to achieve all the goals that I set before myself. I will always miss my friend and can’t wait for her return because I know once she does WDC is really going to rock.

SHERRI G ♥ WDC ♥ ~ Sherri invited me into the fold of Simply Positive as a leader taking the time to get to know me and spoiled me rotten. Her generosity is just unbelievable WDC would never be the same without her generosity and dedication. She is a published author with out of this world writing skills. The time and patience she puts into making writing.com better is more than words can say.

lana bardot ~ Miss Bardot is someone else I met on a chance night traveling the forest of WDC. She has a talent for writing that is often missed because she hides it o.o *hides from her wrath* her writing ability to take her readers into her work the way she does is rare, but I’m thankful I have had the opportunity to read some of her work. Oh and she can be sweeter than sugar, but likes to abuse this old wolf. *Bad Lanabot* (inside joke)

Cosmic Silvermoon ~ Em to me however is someone I have grown to think of as another sister. The ideas that come from her are just awesome and if they reach being finished all of her hard work will help make WDC a better place. Keep up the good work Em.

SoCalScribe ~ Jeff my SP brother is an amazing writing, but on top of all that, he is the kind of person you can really count on when you need some help. Jeff is an awesome person and if you are looking for a good story take a stroll through his port, you will not be disappointed.

LdyPhoenix ~ Wow, what can I say about this little woman here? Her sense of humor is much like mine on the sarcastic side, which is one of the reasons I believe we get along. She has the ability to challenge me to write something which I take thus producing something great. I can’t thank her enough for driving me and being that shoulder I can lean on when I need to bother someone with something. She is another great writer that deserves read if you have the time.

Leger~ ~ I met Kim when I was looking for something to read and came upon her port and a story that took me into a world I didn’t want to leave. Much like Kiyasama; Kim has made an impact here on WDC that does not go without notice. Kim has a great sense of humor and does like to tease me about breakfast but I wouldn’t have it any other way. She has grown to become a good friend and fellow Mod .

Wow, well I don’t really know where to begin. I was asked to blog about a certain event that took place a while ago by a special little someone she knows who she is : - ) There were auditions held around where I live and I tried out for some of the parts, now I’m not a actor by any means. However, it was an opportunity to do something so I took it I had always wanted to try my hand at acting but when they would have one I would either miss it or extremely busy. I didn’t know what they were going to be shooting whenever they do this movie so I wasn’t sure what to expect so I just watched a bunch of movies and tried my best.

I never knew so many people would show up for this. I thought I was going early since the actual audition didn’t take place until around 12 noon, but I was sooo wrong. I found there were a few people who had slept out there to have a place in line. It was a crazy day that followed. I walked into the room filled with many people some weird and others well….it was an experience to say the least.
Months pass and I finally receive a letter telling that if they need a few extras I can expect to be contacted..eh….this was about a month ago and still nothing so I don’t think I’ll hold my breath, but it was something interesting that I did so go me.

I seem to go to my blog when I need to vent about something on my mind, but never able to put just everything because some stuff is just too personal therefore, it is not added. I have been absent from WDC for numerous reason the main reason being I just have no time really anymore, no time to do all that I had been. I miss my home away from home and I fear I’ll be even further away soon which is something I dread like the plague still it is something that must be done unfortunately. Saturday is going to be horrible for me and will mark the end of many things in my life I fear. I do have some time to wrap up a few things around WDC which is a good thing I suppose so if you see me on send a hello how are you doing or well leave me a scribble I don’t mind lol.

To be honest I’m very sad at the moment. I do my best to promote happiness and joy well meaning and understanding I found if you do this then you get it back in return no matter how little, and yes I found that this works but what is going on with my life now that little bit just isn’t enough. Writing.com has changed in so many ways and all for the better . I was able to achieve one of my dreams of becoming a Mod the most amazing blue berry woot! This year has brought the arrival of a few children that are just too cute for words. I just turned 29 and as weird, as it is saying that still I have made it this far and I don’t plan on stopping here. This blog was named EPIC for a reason that will slowly but surely reveal itself I hope just be patient, well if anyone still reading the old wolf’s blog that is

In the next few blogs I will drop some names some known others maybe not, but believe me all are awesome though I may not get to everyone I will certainly try because you all have made my time here amazing. This is part 1 of a possible 3

 

Wow…..I haven’t written anything in a while now and that is because there has been so much going on. A few weeks back my life was turned upside down due to the whole family front taking me away from WDC , and the truth is I don’t know if I’ll be back here like I was in a while, but I’ll try to keep regular updates when I can. My summer isn’t going like I would have planned in the least. What I want to do and what I’m doing are two different things.

I wrote a couple of Newsletters for WDC….they weren’t all that to be honest I felt they could have been better I did receive a comment on one of them though it wasn’t very encouraging at all. Sometimes just sometimes, I would like people to keep their opinion to themselves and or try to open their eyes to the possibility of something without always seeing negative…eh whatever.

I came close to death yesterday, and it is not the first time, but this time was very close. I have had time to reflect over the events that took place, which at the time I had to laugh at because it was just so crazy. I will now remember to always cross at the light although there is no guarantee that will keep me alive although there is a better chance I will live I think. I was just making a simple run across the street, which I should not have tried to do because of an injury I suffered a few weeks previous, and a trip to the store almost turned into my last trip I would ever make.

I began to run and things were going fine until about the middle of the road where it felt like my leg was being pulled and as I went down differing thoughts went through my head one being oh crap this is going to hurt to Why am I falling? Then the street rushed up to meet me though what was really happening was that I was rushing to the street not the other way around. It is strange the things you think about as you stare death in the face. I lay there in the street as the cars were coming toward me wondering if they would stop or if I would end up under the tires of one of them I know a sick thing to think about but it was a weird situation.

As I lay there, I do not know for how long it was, but I know my brother and sister both were there with me struck with the fear of me possibly dying out in the middle of the street. I am there older brother, and the thought of them seeing something like that happen in front of them helped me quickly roll out of the way of the oncoming cars, although at the time I didn’t realize how bad I had hurt myself and I didn’t realize that until today after everything was over.

I have had many ideas that run through my head on a daily basis dealing with a number of things I just wish I had more time to do all that I want to do, but who doesn’t wish they had more time?

Thoughts tend to plague me about all the things that are on my mind or need to be written down or set into motion. The poems that has passed through my mind are both intense and very new to me like someone is speaking into my ear telling me what to write I haven’t added anything new to my port in a while so I might start with a few of those. Oh, and I have a wonderful little sister she is the reason I wrote this blog, and if you want to read something awesome check out her port inrain.

On another note I haven’t heard word one from my amazing Rising Star sponsor Gothic Angel gone if you have some time and want a good read check out her port as well. I myself have a couple of Rising Stars that deserve a bit of time in this blog of mine starting with Wiskers an amazing writer who has the talent to take something and turn it into an adventure for not only herself but her readers as well. Adrianna is an all around great writer of both poems and stories, and a sense of humor that will have you laughing all the time.

Well this is all for now, but I’ll try not to make it so long until I write again.

 

I haven’t really had the time to write much of anything and whenever I do sit down to write I just can’t keep my head in the right frame of mind to get the writing done. I have this idea in my head about something that I want to write but when I sit to write it, well things just get in the way and there are many things that I must do because I said I was going to and I have no problem with that.I said I would do what I signed up for and that is that I’ll do it I just have to force myself into the mindset to do it. I have many things going on offline that I must deal with for the sake of my own future something’s I would really rather not deal with but the time for putting them off is over and the reality of the situation is actually setting in with a vengeance. Now, I’ll go back and finish the story about the day we were barbecuing…

I had disappeared upstairs to my apartment where I had ice cubes in the fridge because it was freakin hot. I took a bit of those and added them to a bucket or water using a spoon to mix it to make the water really cold I knew it was all about the delivery of the water that I needed to work on. I wanted it to be a total surprise, and since this was all about revenge that is exactly what it was, however I un-expectantly got someone else in the process. I moved down the stairs determined to get her back for what she had done. Christina was positioned in the lawn chair sitting closest to the doors, which was just what I needed.

Brittany was talking to her about going to the store so I had to hurry with what I was going to do and since she doesn’t have a particularly soft voice (Brittany) was telling her that they need to go now. I took that as my chance and instead of continuing down the stairs, I went to the upstairs window the good thing about that all is that it gave the ice time to melt fully, so I poured the entire contents of water down on Christina and Brittany. The screams that rose from outside were high and full of malice.

After much apologizing to Brittany, she forgave me. Christina, well she’s a completely different matter altogether, that girl has some serious hate going on which I found to be quite funny.
As of late my time to get things done has been dwindling down because life is getting in the way and I miss WDC so much it’s just I have other things to do, which is normal but sad at the same time. I fear soon I’ll need to take some time off because things are so hectic now. I feel as if I’m on a roller coaster with no hand rails at any moment it’ll come to a complete stop and I’ll go flying without a cushy landing.


I haven’t been feeling too well also so it might be a while before I finish another entry, and it came to my attention a few days ago that an amazing author here on WDC passed away Jaye P. Marshall . I cannot say that we spent much time talking but she would review my work and helped with a lot of my poetry and the few stories that needed to be corrected, not to mention when we were in competition for the number 2 spot when reviewing we had a good laugh over that. She will be missed, and WDC will feel different without her here anymore. My condolences go out to her family and all of WDC.



 

I can't even explain where my head has been this past month, it seems like only yesterday or well a week ago it was May 1st. The month has gone by fast and I'm only now able to sit and look around. I have been away from WDC for the most part and it's been a little strange because I miss this place there is still so much I want to do but to do what I want I need to learn it fully first and that is where time comes into play. I'm not a very patient person to be honest, not saying that I want everything right now but in a timely manner is more like it, and since I'm me well....time isn't on my side and now that I think about it, it never really has been. Time flies when you're having fun and I have been having fun today except for an embarrassing moment which I shall get revenge for, or rather I have gotten revenge for haha I served it up cold too. A short run through so you understand what I mean... I was sitting around the house really bored when there's a knock at my door. I wasn't expecting any visitors today so I was pleasantly surprised when I opened the door and saw Brittani and Britney there with her bf and someone I hadn't met before.

I instantly got the sense I didn't care for this person which is rare with me because I like everyone pretty much unless you make me angry or hurt someone I love, but she chick totally sent bad vibes my way. Her name was Christina, now this surprised me but I still kept my cool and was nice to her. I learned that she was born on the same day as I was...no biggie there, and then went on further to find that it was around the same time. 8:12 for me 8:14 for...getting weird, but still no big. She seemed to challenge me on everything I said....starting getting a bit prickly but still no problem really.

We went out and was playing in the water because it was so hot here and the kids around the complex left it going but were inside now. I was having myself a good time spraying water on everyone and being sprayed in return. It was during my being sprayed with the water that Christina thought it would be fine pulling my shorts down....well..now there was a problem, to say I was embarrassed is an understatement. I turned red and had that heated sensation you get when you're embarrassed or is it just me? I was being blasted with water which kept everyone from seeing me except for Christina...

Anyways, that was so not cool, but I totally got her back. The water was nice and warm yet knocked the chill off our bodies, but I had water chilling in the apartment for me because I just like having ice water lol, so I went to get it when everyone was relaxing waiting for the barbecue to finish, oh I forgot to mention we barbecued. Everyone was in a lawn chair just talking and didn't notice when I disappeared....to be continued...
 

All I can say is wow after the day that I've had today and the thing about this is that it isn't over just yet. A day spent with some awesome kids. We watched a lot of stuff that brought back many memories and some that I can only imagine, but anyway here's one of my favorite songs that I listened to today.

Tonight has been a rough one. All stemming from the fact that I tried to do something nice and give my friend some advice on moving on from a bad relationship he had been in. I tell you it doesn't pay to try and help people at all and sure that sounds a bit negative, but that is where I am right now. I try and help and end up losing two friends in the process. I try to help one and end up losing the other because she happens to be in love with him so of course she's going to side with him on everything and think the worst. I can't win for losing. They were the last strong threads that tied me to my old life.

I cannot explain this hollow feeling that has found its way inside my heart. To have fully lost friends with no hope for the friendship is something horrible. If I had to describe this feeling it would have to be cold, bitter cold that does not chill just simply freezes on contact to break in small pieces that shatter to pierce my heart spilling my life's blood everywhere and there is no defense against this act, it just is and always will be. This really sucks...
 

I could go on forever but I found this one song that could sum up some of what I'm thinking about right now.

I didn't know what the name of this way until I looked it up and I can't get it out of my head.

I have gone and split myself in two because both sides of me are different yet equally important to me.

I am slowly but surely coming to realize that the things that are important to me are not as important to others...yeah I know...no duh haha. I have lived my life by a certain set of rules that has been feeling like a prison as of late. It is as if I'm the only one thinking of these things or it's not important, so today or rather yesterday I let myself out of that confining box and I must say it felt good. Plans being made things are happening not all good, nor all bad.

Iron Man 2 was awesome and so was The Losers. I thought both movies were awesome one more than another. I hung out today with my brother, sister, and my friend Persephone though I spell it Persephony I do that to mess with her and I find it immensely funny she on the other hand....well...lets just say I need to run when I call her that. I mention Perseph before because at the time she had a boyfriend that was uber crazy. I can totally understand why he was crazy still I'm just the friend no harm there

Anyways, the boyfriend is out of town and since we can't hang out any other time because her boyfriend doesn't care for me today was the perfect time and it was awesome. Thanks to another friend of mine we were able to see a few movies. Yes, the day has been one for the record books I would say. The calm before the storm. Oh, and the rain and lightning totally helped.

I might add more later though I don't know, we will see
 

I get online after a long stressful day to find my wonderful Big Sis SHERRI G ♥ WDC ♥ has given me an award which has totally brightened my day beyond belief. Thank you sis.

Just trying something lol
 

More to this will be added later as I have an awesome idea:

It’s been a while since I blogged for all to see as I’ve been freaking out over turning blue, it’s amazing actually and something that I have longed to be, and want to do my best at. I have decided to jump in with both feet taking on a few projects that has had me lacking in other areas of things that I have been doing before for that I am truly sorry it has just taken a few days to get my head on straight as things have been weird on the home front.

While my presence online is going amazing slowly and surely my personal life has taken a hit, well a big hit, but a hit nonetheless. I feel strange to be perfectly honest. I don’t get some things though, you ask family if they are okay and get in return that they are only to find that there is a lot more going on underneath the surface than what was said which makes me wonder why I wasn’t trusted enough to be told the truth. I guess it all boils down to it being easier to talk to a stranger or strangers than it is to talk to family sometimes.

Last night was one of interest for the simple fact that I took the night off from everything and everyone because I needed some thinking time to myself and the things I have come up with were astounding. I had been working myself into a frenzy doing things for others and have not been doing anything really for me. The wind blows outside, and the scent makes something go wild inside me, telling me it’s time for me to go. I don’t know where I want to go though, and all I see is me on the road going somewhere to someplace.

I have an idea I’m slowly but surely bringing into existence though it’s taking a while to finish as I’m called to do many other things. I made something for myself recently well a few things, which I find so cool, but again that is just me. Have a look and tell me what you think. I felt like crap today so I did something nice and gave someone a basic upgrade, sure, it wasn’t much, but it made me a little happy. Life can be weird and unfortunately, it’s going to get weirder. Trust is shot to hell and only given to those that deserve it these days, it sucks when you have to keep your defenses up. My friends that I have here are amazing, thank you all for having my back when I need someone there.

My most amazing Rising Star Sponsor Gothic Angel gone is beyond awesome and I know that I couldn’t have had a better role model.

Pardon my rambling I’m currently battling a headache that is threatening to split my head in two. I hope and pray that tomorrow is a better day. I’m alive so that is good enough even if the day is floopy, gotta love Jannie for that word.

I did get the other thing I was asking for as well, but it has me perplexed.

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Last, but certainly not least I would like to shine a light on my Rising Stars as they are awesome First is Jojo aka Wiskers awesome talent and now there is Adrianna Adrianna Both of my Rising Stars are amazing if you want a great read then check them out.

ID: 1537473   (Rated: 18+) Wolfie's Prompt Challenge  Do you think you can meet my challenges? by Lonewolf - Catching up

ID: 1098822 Invalid Item  This item number is not valid. by Not Available.

ID: 1629378   (Rated: E) "I WANT THAT IMAGE!" Auction  A Special Auction by Lonewolf - Catching up

ID: 1657212   (Rated: E) Tried and True Spaghetti and Meatballs  A recipe that has come in handy on more than one occasion. by Lonewolf - Catching up

It would seem that I should plan more in the things that can actually be done in a foreseeable future. Today's plan is:

1.) Review.

2.) Finish writing things up.

3.) Attend to my other duties.

I shall add more later after the reviews are finished.

 

Sooo, I was sitting on the scroll while reading over a story written by my Rising Star making plans on doing other types of writing when I receive a IM with congratulations. I was perplexed as to what the Congrats was for until I was instructed to check out my account and in doing so I noticed a very HUGE change in the color of my case The blue color of awesome has descended upon me