Hello my sunny pals,

I was going to take the kids to the beach today. Turns out that the sun is playing some place else. I didn't know it was going to rain today. Our lawns need it but the kids are bummed. They both invited some friends and we were gonna make a day of it. Now I have to come up with a plan B. Savanna was so sad she went back to bed.

Oh well. It wouldn't be the weekend without a change of plans. I seem to be in that state of mind were nothing is going as planned. It's a good thing I am flexible. I just wish my kids were.

Maybe this storm will pass over and we can do something this afternoon. I am thinking I might head back to bed too...

Sweet dreams,
Love,
Michelle
 

Hello my sunny pals,

Welcome to the weekend!

Nothing like a long summer weekend to remind me of how much living I need to be doing! I have to get outside and play. It's going to be hot and sunny and wonderful and I don't want to miss a minute of it!

Be Safe!

Love,
Michelle
 

Hello my sunny pals,

How do you deal with rejection? I am not doing so well with it. I get that whole karma thing. What I put out comes back. I never realized how much rejection I must be sending out into the big beautiful world.

I am frustrated but not defeated. I am sad but not hurt.
I am trying to understand but I don't think I ever will. I think this is one of those times when things really don't make sense and I need to let it go. Yes, I do think too much.

For years I have been trying to find that one thing that would make me "whole" and it's silly. I am already whole. I am already everything I am going to be. Loving.

I am going to be busy today sending out resumes and sending out loving vibes. It's a great day to be me! Oh and my cap and grown came! Wow I love it. I love that I have my Masters. No one can ever take my education away from me. It is a big deal and I need to start acting like it!!

Love,
Michelle
 

Hello my sunny pals,

How do you get inspired? I feel a little freaked out by my lack of motivation and inspiration at the moment. It's not normal for me to be in this state of fog. I am normally bouncing around with a million ideas and a ton of ways to accomplish my dreams.

I might not write in depth anymore and the poet in my heart has gone to sleep. Still, I know somewhere inside is my fire. I have to find the matches. I need to turn the heat back up.

I am going to fake it until I make it. I believe sometimes the best way to get where you want to go is to start walking. One small step at a time. I can be that fantasy girl again. I can be the loving woman that got me here today.

I was put on some kind of journey and I am not to my destination yet. Yes, I am determined and I will get what I want. I will have what I need and I am gonna have a little fun along the way.

I can be inspired by my own journey. I can look back and see how far I have already walked. I never expected this but it's here and I am going to love this moment. I know if I keep trying and I put my name out there. I will get to grow my business.

I love and it's a good day to be inspired!

Love,
Michelle
 

Hello Sunshine,

What is your family pattern? Is it something you understand and are proud of? Or is it something you are trying to deny and redirect? I am always looking at my client's family pattern. I think we are such a big part of the environment we grew up. Some of us are still stuck in the past and others have moved on. I am still trying to make a new family pattern for my kids.

It's hard to figure out what is important and what I can do without. I need to balance my need for work with being here. I knew this was going to be hard, I just never expected it to be this hard. I love myself enough to feel the growing pains. I love myself enough to know I am going to make mistakes and not be perfect and I love myself to keep trying.

I don't want to give up on myself. I know I can have it all. I just have to find a way to get it.

I will!

Love,
Michelle
 

Hello my sunny pals,

Do you like taking risks? Are you living on the edge? I feel I am. I am taking a huge risk to stay home with my kids this summer. I am gonna run out of every last dime I have to do it.

This is a win-win situation for me, even though it is going to be hard on my mind and budget. I love being a stay-at-home mom but now I am not able to do that. My bills are not being paid by a husband. I get that I have to support myself and I want too. I want to be able to have a full time career and make money. I also feel torn to protect my daughter. Brian is worried about hiring a sitter. I agree. We have never been able to trust Jax with strangers. His tolerance for change is limited and we have about stretched him out this year.

What would it hurt for me to spend one last summer being here for him? I can still work but will take three days off to be home. I want to have a fun summer so I know we will go the beach and go fishing and do somethings that both kids enjoy. I am having a hard time letting go. I divorced Brian, I didn't divorce my kids or responsibility to them. I just wish I was wealthy. I wish I had a savings that would make me feel better about this. Oh well. It's only money and I know in two years when my career is going full steam I will look back at this time and be proud of myself. I will know that I did the right thing.

I like taking the risk to be happy. I know I am worth it!

Love,
Michelle
 

Hello Sunshine,

It's a beautiful day!

Yesterday I was a rock star! Today, I am tired!

This week has kicked my booty! I have been pushing myself hard. Staying up late and being too crazy. Of course, having the cold didn't help. I am still not a hundred percent but I am getting there.

I have to meet some friends in Ann Arbor today. We are going to talk about some ways to gather new clients for our business. I love my profession and the way networking is so important. Yesterday I met some incredible women at Shar Academy. I love how I have surrounded myself with positive and loving people.

Which brings me to my question...Would you rather be in love with someone of have them be in love with you? I don't know why it is so hard to find a mutual match. I do feel an imbalance in this question. I feel it in my real life. I am the one that prefers to be the lover. I am not used to being loved. How silly is that? Is it a pattern? It is just how I am recovering from some of my past?

I should be open to the idea of being loved more. Still, I find it unsettles me. I wonder why?

It's a beautiful day and I have God to thank!

Love,
Michelle
 

Hello My Sunny Pals,

Welcome to my happy place. I am going to give my first presentation today to a group of girls about Self-Esteem. I think it is a topic I know well. I grew up never believing I was good enough. I suffered from a negative self image. I liked my looks but never trusted that I was "good enough" or "smart enough" or that I deserved to get what I needed.

How do I teach that skill? How do I say that it starts with kind words and a deep level of self love and worth.

For me, it has been a journey. I know when I had my moment and I truly believed it. I know from that moment my life has not been the same.

I look at myself in the mirror and I am amazed at how beautiful I am. I see my value. I know my worth. I get that my positive energy comes from a deep well inside me.
It's not about beauty. It's not about the value of cash in my wallet. It's not about someone telling me I am pretty. It's about knowing that I love and approve of myself.

I will have moments of doubt. Today is not going to be one of them. I know even if I stumble with my presentation, I am still going to do an awesome job.

Somethings you just have to believe!

Love,
Michelle
 

Hello Sunshine,

I am still feeling the effects of this cold! I want my head to clear up so I can be my spunky self. I don't like wearing a fish bowl over my head. Here it is the weekend and I have a ton of chores. I am still getting used to my my "assigned" day of laundry.

I love my apartment and I do feel safe here. But I have to admit that having an assigned day to do my laundry is not working out so well for me. When I have the kids, my towels can not last the whole week. I need to get chummy with my neighbors and see who might be willing to switch a day around with me. Only thing is they have lived here for years and I am the new kid on the block.

Also, I never see them. It's like I live in a building with ghost. They rarely make any noise and they come and go silently. I think most people would love that, but I wanted to hear noise. I wanted to feel like I was surrounded by life. I know, I am odd. lol

I am getting used to be being me. I have a serious amount of work to do for my presentation tomorrow. I know it's going to be awesome no matter what I present. I want the girls to really get something out of it. I plan on having fun!

I better get going I have loads of stuff to do!

Love,
Michelle
 

Hello my sunny pals,

Have you ever been stalked? You know when someone your not interested in takes the time to keep contacting you when you wish they would disappear?

Right now Mr. Africa is having a blast bothering me. I did some back ground investigating his false profile. Turns out he is not only a fake but he is going to a lot of trouble to convince me he is real. Why?

What makes a person go off the deep-end on reality? I was scared that this person was going to seriously chase me down. I am learning new ways to protect myself and play it safe.

It's hard to trust but I don't want to stop. It's how I make my living.

It's a good day to be me!

Love,
Michelle
 

Hello Sunshine,

My head is full of stuff. I am not sure where this cold came from but it doesn't seem to be going away. I have been drinking fluids and taking vitamins. I probably have a sinus infection but I am not going to go to the doctors to find out. I will keep doing what I am doing and hope that it passes soon enough. The sun is shining and I have a lunch date with my pals so I am feeling good.

How important do you think looks are? I am beginning to realize just how important a picture can be. Maybe that is one reason I don't like facebook. Everyone wants to show off pictures. Which is fine and an easy way to do it. Still somethings need to remain private. I am thinking I am too easy and let people know things about me before they should.

I am slowly learning. I am also happy with myself and what my picture says about me. I have an advertisement on Psychology today. I got a new client yesterday and she said it was my picture that convinced her to call. She said she felt that I looked like someone she could talk too. I know that might sound superficial. However, it also speaks the truth. Our eyes trust long before our hearts do.

I am going outside today. I am taking in some beauty.

Love,
Michelle
 

Hello my sunny pals,

Have you ever done on-line dating?

I am trying it for the first and last time. I have to say I am not impressed with Match.com. In fact if I could get my money back I would. So far I have been on the site for about a month. I have only met 3 decent men. Three out of the 260 guys that have looked at my profile. I just spent the last two weeks chatting with a guy in Africa. Yes, Africa.

I should have known right then that something wasn't right. I was waiting for the hook. I was waiting for something to happen and he would show his true colors. I just had to shake my head and laugh out loud when he asked me for $1000 to pay his hotel bill. He couldn't cash his American Check in Africa. Okay am I the only one here that finds that funny? The best part of the whole story is when he sent me my good bye letter he signed it a different guys name. Now that made me laugh OUT LOUD!

What The? I am not sure that I am made for dating. I might just go solo and be damn happy with me. I think that is the cheapest and safest route to travel. I am back being me 100%.

Life is funny but people make it a riot!

Love,
Michelle
 

Hello my Sunny Pals,

I am gonna make this brief.

After a long week of loving on my kids, they were kind enough to leave me with their yucky germs. Now I have a cold. Not any kind of cold but the kind that hurts when you swallow. I should have known I couldn't escape it. Why do we get sick?

I hope you are well!

Love,
Michelle
 

Hello my sweet and sunny friends,

Love to all the momma's in the world!

We wouldn't be who we are today without them!

My sweet girl made me a handmade card and the words she used came from Winnie The Pooh...


"If there ever comes a day when we can't be together, keep me in your heart and I will stay there forever"....

Love,
Michelle
 

Hello My Sunny Pals,

See I told you Volunteering was worth it. I had a great time last night and today was fun too. I took the kids bowling and it's always fun when we can get out and do something. I won two tickets to see the Detroit Tigers play in September. I was very happy with that door prize. I haven't been to a ball game in a couple of years. I like to get out to a good sporting event every once and awhile. It's always so fun to get caught up in the crowd atmosphere.

Talk about getting into a crowd atmosphere, last night the gala ended with a live auction. The auctioneer was awesome at it. I loved it. I loved watching a bunch of rich people purchase things I could only dream about and the best part it was for charity. So it was a double bonus.

How do you blindly trust someone you haven't met? What makes the heart just leap into another soul? I am trying to figure that out. I might never be able too.

I am still living the mystery.

Love,
Michelle
 

Hello my sunny pals,

Do you like to Volunteer?

I have to admit when I was younger I never did. I have changed my ways. I see the true value in helping out without pay. It's fun and gives me something to do. Tonight I am going to help out at the Women's Center Swing into Spring Gala event. It's a huge fund raiser for the organization and I get to dress up and play hostess to a bunch of rich kids in Ann Arbor.

It takes me a little out of my comfort zone but moments like that help me grow as a person. I like to stretch myself sometimes. I like to see how the other half of the world is living. I do miss volunteering at the VA too. I enjoyed that but I don't need to be around a lot of men right now. I need a break from that kind of drama. I have to be single for some time and enjoy my own company.

Do you enjoy bowling? I like it. I am taking the kids on Saturday to a fund raiser for the girls and boys club of Detroit. Another one of Stefie's ideas. That girl would keep me busy everyday of the week if I let her. lol

Have a wonderful day!

Love,
Michelle
 

Hello My Sunny Pals,

Well my mood is on the rise! Just like the great big moon my moods shift and sway. I travel on a steady path most of the time but lately I have been feeling stressed. Stress makes me feel bad and think negative thoughts. I don't like negative thoughts.

I have made progress with my life. I just feel this ugly pressure to succeed. To keep going to make more goals. Bigger and bigger stuff. I want to slow down and just enjoy this moment. Why do I have to keep going? Why can't I just take a mini break? I know...Cuz slowing down is not good for me. I need to be busy. I need to be doing more and pushing myself.

If I want to be honest I have to keep to the heart of this. I have to get to the meaning behind my actions. I have to really accept this change. Embrace the unknown. Embrace the fact that I am not always in control. Embrace the fact that it takes time to succeed and I will get what I need. I can't live by others expectations. I have to live by my own. I am way too hard on myself!

It is a new day and my mood is on the rise...I am going to go with that for now!

Love,
Michelle
 

Hello Sunshine,

Wow that boy was born under a lucky star! No matter what he does or how bad it gets, he always finds his way out. I don't even know why I worry. Why do I get myself upset when he always comes out smelling like a rose? I know I should be happy...but forget the Should! Why?

Why can't I be pissed that he is getting off on probation? Why can't I be upset that he gets away with this? I know he did the crime...Why can't he pay for it?

I have made some serious mistakes in my life but I know I have learned my lessons. I know it. I feel that every day when I am worried about money. I get the kind of pressure I am under. I did it to myself. Still, I wouldn't expect anyone to pay for me. I don't know why he thinks we "owe" him. No. I don't owe any body. Not even my own kids.

My life is really my own. Yes, I am connected to others...but what I do for me. Is all about me. I don't feel selfish at all. I finally feel like I am living!

Love,
Michelle
 

Hello My Sunny Pals,

I think I figured it out.

I think I know why I haven't been motivated. It is really simple. I still don't believe in myself. How sad! I let all the other stuff become bigger and let this life changing moving and divorce stuff get in my way.

In any major change you need to keep the big picture in your mind. I let that big picture fade and started to worry about the little stuff. While the little stuff is always going to be there, I need to get back to making some goals and accomplishing them.

It's amazing to me that I have so many people that see my big picture more clearly then I do. I want to keep myself in the loop of life. I am going to go for it. I am going to see if I can apply for some PHD programs in counseling psychology. I do miss school. I miss being busy and I know in 4 years I will still be here. I might as well be here with a better degree and a chance to make more money.

I am doing it to defer my school loans and a chance to take over my boss's business. She has offered it to me, but said I would have to have my PHD to get it. I can do that. I am a able to have everything I dream possible. I am amazed at how life keeps opening up for me.

Dr. Michelle...I like that!

Love,
Michelle


ps...The hard part will be getting into the program I want. Wish me luck...
 

Hello my sunny pals,

Where do you find motivation? I need to dig deep to find my willpower and do what has to be done. I have been putting it off for long enough. Why do I do that? I make excuses.

I need to light a fire deep in the pit of my soul. I need to ask myself some hard questions and figure this out.

It's not like me to be so laid back about this. I think I do better when I am under pressure or back up into a corner. I suppose I better get busy and make something happen. I am tired of standing in the corner!

It's a new day and a new week. No time like the present to make something wonderful happen!

Love,
Michelle