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Thursday
August 21, 2014
6:00pm EDT


Rated: 13+ | Book | Experience | #1827046
The place to be for positive reinforcements!
Hello My Sunny Pals, Welcome back to Shellyville....

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
Previous ... -1- 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 ... Next
March 13, 2014 at 9:26am
March 13, 2014 at 9:26am
Sunshine and cold never gets old.
Hello Sunshine,

Yes Mother Nature is reminding us who is boss. She is not about to let Winter go softly away. I don't mind the sunshine and the new snow. It makes the sunshine reflect more light!

Light is the source of energy. It's not bringing any warmth at the moment but it is giving me more energy to move around. I have things to do today and I am happy to be busy. One fine minute at a time. I will get my work done. For now I will enjoy the morning sunshine and be grateful for all my blessings.

I do feel loved.

Love,
Michelle
March 11, 2014 at 1:55pm
March 11, 2014 at 1:55pm
Add it to the pile
Hello Sunshine,

I guess I am just not made for work this week! No sense getting upset. Someday I will be busy and wish and pray for my lonely time. I am wondering how I am going to do it but I know God will show me the way.

He sure does tempt me with his foolish ways. I don't mind taking a walk on the wild side. It gets my blood to boil and reminds me that I am a human being with needs, wants, and desires.

I love it. To be human. To express the basic of needs. Yep, it's all good. I am one lucky woman and I know it. I can feel it in my bones. I have all that I need here inside my heart. My soul will protect me. Teach me and let me fly.

Love,
Michelle
March 10, 2014 at 8:55am
March 10, 2014 at 8:55am
Dreams
Hello Sunshine,

The dreams keep on coming. Long after the story is told. I have no idea why I hang on so tight to the past. It's over!!

I can't believe how life keeps moving. No stopping. No time to worry about clocks moving ahead. It's all the same. One big blur of life. I need to get Jackson back in school. He is falling apart and he is taking me with him!! My nerves are shot. I am a bowl of jello and a hot mess!

I am good for now. I am happy with the way life is playing out. I still have some magic left in this old girl!

To think how my mind and soul has grown in the last few years. I am in awe of my own words at time. Wish I could spend a little more time on action. I need to get moving!!

Love,
Michelle

March 6, 2014 at 1:32pm
March 6, 2014 at 1:32pm
Sunny Day!
Hello Sunshine,

Not much can beat a good nights rest. However, my dreams are still overly bizarre. I have to work on that! This novel that I am writing is getting intense. All the images smash together in my dreams and I wake up exhausted.

Only I haven't put the words to paper yet. This creative writing is still a challenge. I have to challenge myself to write! So far I have a great outline but who is my main character and what is her name going to be?

Time will tell...

Love,
Michelle
March 3, 2014 at 9:16am
March 3, 2014 at 9:16am
Sanity is a small price to pay
Hello Sunshine,

I have found some sanity. Of course it's at the price of being a lunatic. It comes with imagination and dragons. It comes in the middle of the night when I am running away with a stranger. Lost on an island with people I used to know.

If I could bottle my dreams I would have a best selling novel. I would have an Oscar worthy movie. I would be a millionaire.

I don't mind that I have that kind of imagination. I don't mind that half the time I can't sleep. I like the entertainment of my dreams. I like to think...Wow...I really am awesome!

If my everyday life was as exciting as my dreams I would be exhausted! I am grateful for my slow and boring life. It makes my dreams that more fun!!

Love,
Michelle
February 28, 2014 at 9:15am
February 28, 2014 at 9:15am
Self-care?
Hello Sunshine,

Well my attempt at self-care hasn't been noticed. It seems as if my attention to myself is at an all time low. I think I do a good job of taking care of myself but when my stress is up, my tears come down.

I guess I am not suppose to be overwhelmed. Stressed out. Worried? I am not suppose to be mad at the school for not educating my son? I am not suppose to be mad that I have no control over this problem? I am not suppose to be upset that my son is losing his edge. Well guess what? I am pissed!

I am tired of being a strong willed crazy person. I am tired of seeing this self-destruction take over my life. If I can't vent the reality why would I hide my feelings? I used to live in a fantasy world. I would hide behind the walls of Shellyville and pretend that everything was perfect. I never let on that I was upset or disappointed. I was the perfect wife.

I am not her anymore! I don't live in Shellyville. I am not perfect and I am sure as hell not Married!!

I can handle this but at what cost? I am slowly and without a doubt losing my edge. I see it passing me by. I see the mistakes I make clear as day. No amount of fantasy and good looking is going to deter me from reality.

I am living it.

Love,
Michelle
February 27, 2014 at 10:46am
February 27, 2014 at 10:46am
twice in one month?
Hello Sunshine,

I suppose I should be flattered. I suppose my heart will mend and I will get over the flush of excitement. I will recover some kind of dignity. When I have no idea!

His breath across my soul. His spark inside my walls. He lights hallways that have been empty for years. He is like a ghost that resides in my attic. Haunting me with what-ifs and old love.

I am blessed.

Love,
Michelle
February 25, 2014 at 8:05am
February 25, 2014 at 8:05am
Pen to paper
Hello Sunshine,

An early morning here with the sun peaking through the whisper thin clouds. Light comes earlier now but still the biter cold.

Up early to take Savanna to school on an empty tank of gas! One of these days I will be proactive and get gas when it's the middle of the day and not below freezing!

I am already overwhelmed with my work day and it hasn't even started. Trying to be and do three things at once is not fun! No going back to put my head under the covers! I am up and will accomplish all I set out to do. I am good with that!

Love,
Michelle
February 23, 2014 at 8:52am
February 23, 2014 at 8:52am
Epic Art
Hello my sunny pals,

Last night I went to see the movie Monumental Men. It was awesome and inspired some incredible dreams.

I am living in art. I am a piece of creative color. My form and statue still being worked by the hands of a genius.

I hope I never loss sight of the importance of creative writing and living! Thank you for those that did their part. Never let evil win!

Love,
Michelle

February 11, 2014 at 9:00am
February 11, 2014 at 9:00am
On the edge of a new cliff?
Hello Sunshine,

SO I have this new black shade in my bedroom and it's AWESOME! I slept like a little baby! I did wake a few times like normal but I was able to roll over and fall back asleep!

I feel like a new woman today! Nice!!

I wish everything could be fixed by a magic curtain. Imagine how simple problems would become! I might wish myself out of a career. You know the one I am waiting to start! This week is a lazy week. I don't have enough clients. I don't have enough to do to keep me busy and it's driving me crazy! I need to work. I need to be making money and not spending it!

One day at a time!

Love,
Michelle
February 10, 2014 at 9:41am
February 10, 2014 at 9:41am
So we are different?
Hello Sunshine,

So it just occurred to me that being different is good. It means I am not like everyone else and neither are YOU!

It means I can be funny when I need too laugh. It means my heart can wish and grow. I am not going backwards. My life is moving forward and now is the time to see that happening.

My days are moving so fast. I see patterns dancing on my wall. I am unable to sleep anymore! Tonight Matt is coming over to help me put up room darkening shades. I can't wait. I think it will help. I hope it does. I need to sleep. I need to be able to shut my mind off. The voices so loud.

Love,
Michelle
February 9, 2014 at 11:00am
February 9, 2014 at 11:00am
Fibers of the eye
Hello Sunshine,

In an odd way the eye can reflect the distance the heart has traveled. Tears run easy when hurt. Savanna is taking pictures today of her eye with her camera on her phone. She is amazing.

In her reflection we see specks of color and fibers that swim in perfect harmony. It's interesting to see how one color blends into the next and yet some colors like yellow and gold stand alone.

Perhaps life is a perfect example of that. We stand as individuals yet swim in the same pool. I love watching the Olympics and thinking how small our world has become!

It's a great day to love.

Love,
Michelle
February 6, 2014 at 9:09am
February 6, 2014 at 9:09am
Seven year itch...
Hello Sunshine,

It is amazing to me that time moves on. Words are written and forgotten. I put away years of writing in an attic. I walked away from a life.

Now seven years pass. I picked up the pen again. I wrote a new chapter. I found a new love inside.

In the reflection of my soul I have always been a writer. I have been a dark poet. I have used words to escape. I am still doing it. It's who I am and what makes me tick. I picked up my journal this morning and started writing.

I won't forget that I am important. I wont ever put my pen down again. I am a writer with words locked inside. Stories not told but holding on for that day when they can be released.

It's a great day to celebrate words!

I love you!

Michelle
January 30, 2014 at 8:15am
January 30, 2014 at 8:15am
His words
Hello my sunny pals,

If I had known what this time in my life would look like, I might have prepared myself more. Still, I did the best I could with what I have. Knowing that is what is giving me the faith to move on and be proud.

Now, if I could keep that positive vibe alive while we fight for Jackson's rights. I know this is going to be a challenge!

I get their position and I know they are playing hardball with us. I don't think they realize how hard we are going to fight in return. We are not going to let them have the upper hand. Every day that Jackson is out of school is a day he loses. He is already behind the 8ball do you think I am comfortable with that? NO!

Bring it on! I am ready to fight the good fight!

Love,
Michelle
January 28, 2014 at 9:21am
January 28, 2014 at 9:21am
No school no choice no problem?
Hello Sunshine,

So it looks like the verdict is in and Jackson will not be returning to seventh grade at Scranton. I can only hope that whatever happens next is a positive and learning experience for my son.

I am shocked and saddened by this happening but knew his luck was running out.

Dear God please continue to support me in all my challenges.

Love,
Michelle
January 26, 2014 at 9:37am
January 26, 2014 at 9:37am
Happy Birthday
Hello Sunshine,

Today is a perfect picture day if you were a snow globe.

It's frosting white snow flakes on the deck. It's ice on the windows. It's my sister's birthday and Matt's birthday too. Dominica said she couldn't remember when there was this much snow for her birthday. Maybe when she was a Kid. A lot can happen in 57 years!!

I have to get moving soon. It's time for more work. I wish I owned a snowmobile that would be the perfect ride for work today!!

Love,
Michelle
January 25, 2014 at 10:18am
January 25, 2014 at 10:18am
Snow
Hello white fluffy stuff,

The snow continues to fall in big fluffy flakes. The kind that coat every surface. It's stunning and beautiful and I would totally enjoy it if I was staying in and didn't have to drive to work.

Oh well, It's Winter! Snow is supposed to happen. I am glad it is. I love it. I love the stillness and white beauty. I love that the season's occur and that all is well with nature.

Life is one beautiful moment at a time.

Love,
Michelle
January 24, 2014 at 9:08am
January 24, 2014 at 9:08am
I am not ready!
Hello Sunshine,

I guess I'm still not ready. I like all the parts but not the whole thing. I just can't bring myself into the relationship. It's not right. I don't feel it. So here is the question?...What do I do about it?

I can move on, date others...

I can give it time..

I can slowly figure out what I want.

I can have fun and build a friendship.

I need to slow down and back up. It's not right for me to give so much so soon. I am a giver and a taker. I am not on an even playing field. I know I have the potential to hurt someone and I don't want to do that.

One sweet day at a time I will figure this out.

Love,
Michelle
January 23, 2014 at 10:46am
January 23, 2014 at 10:46am
So I am alive...
Hello my sunny pals,

Where in the world have you been? Out shopping? Maybe dancing around the universe? Or sitting peacefully in your own misery? It's been an epic battle with Jackson. It's not over yet. I still have another week of worry ahead.

What will the school district do? Are they sure that Jackson is a threat to society or only himself? I would have to say himself. But I am his mom, I get paid to say that.

If I was the school I would be concerned. I would question every authority and that is what they are doing. I can only pray this has a positive outcome for Jackson.

Being a mom is the greatest job I have ever had. I work endlessly for positive results. I am doing the best I can but it is taking it's toll. I have lost my self-confidence. I lost my cool. I have cried endless tears. I have pushed away wonderful friends. I have shut down.

I will return to living and writing. I will return to earning money and making good decisions. I won't stay in this ugly place forever. I never can. I am far too positive and wonderful for that.

Love,
Michelle
January 14, 2014 at 9:57am
January 14, 2014 at 9:57am
Keep Laughing
Hello Sunshine,

Yes I have a mental disorder. Yes, I have unexplained emotions but the one I understand the most is my need for laughter. It was the greatest crutch I learned as a child.

In my need to escape pain I laughed. In my need to put away tears and hurt I laughed.

So as an adult I still hide behind laughter. I still use it as a coping skill. I still use it as if the world depended on my laughter everyday. If I did not laugh I would be miserable. I don't want to be sad. I don't want to be pissed and angry. It is no fun to live that way. I need a better outlet for my emotions and love.

Love is here and I will use it to be a better person.

In my laugh the sound of tears splash in the background but I am used to the noise.

Love,
Michelle

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