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The place to be for positive reinforcements! |
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Hello My Sunny Pals, Welcome back to Shellyville.... ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
| Hello Sunshine, I was up early before the sunrise. Just in time to gather my chickens and send them off to school. I am so lucky. I love my kids and am so grateful for being a mom. I always wanted to be a stay-at-home mom. I always wanted to be there when they left for school and be home waiting for them when they returned. In many ways I have accomplished that dream. I was home with them during those very tender years. I played, created, and enjoyed the simple joys of parenting. I miss the simple days of unstructured play. Now everything is different but also the same. My kids still adore me. I am still a big kid and a huge part of their life. When I see my kids grow away from me I do get that small tingle of fear. I know it's normal and expected and I do encourage independence. It's just that I know I am going to miss the best part. The part they have to do on their own. I can't live my life over. I got to be a kid once. Now, I get to see it from a different perspective. Love, Michelle |
| Hello Sunshine, You would think that if I made a descent income and took care of my business I could cover my expenses. You would think that would happen every month and I would be good to go. Not so much. Now I am poor. Not a penny extra and I am freaking out. I will put my fear away and pretend all is wonderful. No sense freaking out until they come ship me away. Lord help me. I don't want to lose my home but have no way of keeping it. Ugh. Life goes on... Love, Michelle |
| Hello Sunshine, When the storms of change arrive...You better be ready. I am still in awe of the power of the wind and the storms that ran across my city. It wasn't a tornado but it sure did sound like one. I pray for all those whom were not so lucky last night. Now the kids have no school. I am cool with that, I have to work later this afternoon. I am sure hoping my office has power, if not I will have to reschedule my appointments. Still not a big deal. I like being flexible. It's a good thing. Love, Michelle |
| Hello Sunshine, It's not every week when I sleep in. It's not every Sunday that I ignore God and my ability to go to church. I am just not in the mood for some reason. I don't think skipping Church is the worse thing I can do. However, it sure does make me feel guilty. Perhaps it has more to do with taking time for myself and my relationship with God. I could use a little of his patience and understanding at the moment. I know he loves me but does he understand? Does he get the struggle? Does he know how hard I am trying? Some would say he is testing me. I am sure he is at some level but most of all, I am sure he is just here waiting for me to ask him for him. Love, Michelle |
| Hello Sunshine, In my dreams I am stuck in the dirty bits of town. In my dreams I am stuck with murky water and angry dogs. I am not where I need to be but I am walking that way. I have to learn how to let go. Even as a therapist I don't know how to teach those skills or use them myself. I think letting go is a matter of letting time do it's job. Time is the best healer in life. As long as you are looking forward and not stuck in the past. I am cautious of the future. I am on the right path and I know I will get there. I am not standing still. My feet are not stuck in cement. I am moving, a tad more slowly than I was hoping but still, I am moving. One beautiful day at a time. Love, Michelle |
| Hello Sunshine, My quote for the day... "You are only one conversation away from feeling better" Last night I went out for a quick visit with my girl friends. Just to catch up and relax. I love those moments when you can get caught up and remind yourself why you have good friends! I need my friends. They keep me sane and allow me to be crazy. We were talking about what quotes inspire us and I said my favorite one was "that which does not kill me makes me stronger" I love that saying. I think after that we got silly and I Don't remember much of the rest of the conversation. I just know that I am lucky I have great friends and am looking forward to more events to gather and celebrate life. Love, Michelle |
| Hello my sunny pals, I have been given the gift of time. I have many hours that are not used. I loves those moments when I can sit and be silent. I can use them to day dream. I know I could also use them to be more productive. Accomplish more house chores, etc. etc...I am not that ambitious. I prefer to live a more simple life. I also think it helps balance out my working mind. It's not easy to be a professional counselor. I hear things that are hard to digest. I don't want to be jaded or not care. I don't want to become numb by lack of sympathy. So I let my mind recover. I build my soul up with love. One of the greatest gifts I have given myself is self-love. I love who I am. I recognize my beauty in the mirror and am awed by the depth of my soul. I am not perfect and will never be. I like my imperfections and unbalanced mind. I like that I am flirty and insane at times. I am so grateful for the kindness that is shown me and I try every day to share my smile. I will someday be open to a healthy relationship but right now I am taking some time for me. I am going to be very selfish this year. I am going to only invite those I truly know and trust into my heart. Love, Michelle |
| Hello Sunshine, I miss the warmth of the sun in the summer. I miss the scent of ocean breezes and suntan lotion. If only I could have scent in my dreams. I woke up to a light dust of snow on the ground. Not a lot but enough to cover everything. It's pretty and reminds me that this is November. My month. My time. My reflection, pure as the snow. It reminds me oh how far I have come in only a few years and that I can continue to grow and develop into my new self. I work hard. I live fully and I am grateful. I do so love November! Love, Michelle |
| Hello my sunny pals, I love a good man. In fact I love all men! I am so grateful for the men in my life and those I haven't had the chance to meet or know. I miss my dad. I miss the way he made me feel about myself. I love the way he could build my ego with one sweet smile. I am so blessed and grateful. Love, Michelle |
| Hello Sunshine, I went out clubbing last night. It sure made me feel old but that is only because we danced for hours and that was after standing all day. My body is not used to this much activity. I wish it was. I could use a lot more dancing in my life. If I had the funds I would take a dance class. I used to love Jazzercise. I have always carried the music in my soul. I am hoping that continues long after I wear myself out. Love, Michelle |
| Hello Sunshine, I am happy to report that the frost on the pumpkin is not that thick. It's cold but not winter...Yet! I still have some leaves on the trees out back and still resistant to wear a coat. I know my days are ending soon. I will give in soon and warm myself up. I gradually warm up to winter. I like fall because I can wear sweaters but that bitterness of winter and gray skies take me longer to embrace. One frosty day at a time. Love, Michelle |
| Hello Sunshine, Jackson made it! I should be celebrating with him but he is at school. So, I will celebrate all by myself. I am praying and hoping that this is only the start. I do need to make some newer arrangements for their room. They are little piglets. It's kind of cramped space but still I think they would leave it a mess. I do have the larger room but I am wondering if I feel up to moving bedrooms this weekend. I have to work tomorrow and Sunday I have a party to attend. I would need a helper and not sure I can get someone to move beds for me. Oh well, it's just an idea and an idea can be changed. Love, Michelle |
| Good Morning Sunshine, It's been a very long time sense I have had to get Jackson off to school. I think we did a fine job today. No screaming or yelling and all our bases were covered. It's a very good feeling and I am grateful for today. I love this moment knowing that all our hard work has paid off. Most people can take their children for granted. It's a give and take kind of relationship. I feel what I have with Jackson is a gift. It's something for me to realize and treasure. I am so happy! Love, Michelle |
| Hello my sunny pals, My boy is staying the week! Might not seem like a big deal but it is. It is because he needs to be with me. It is because he is acting proper. It is because he is having fun and being nice. I have waited a long time to get back to this place of normal. We are not a normal divorced family. We are not settled or in a place that we will always live. I know I am in transition and have put my kids in that place with me. I only wanted the best for my kids and haven't always been able to give that to them. I am trying. One sweet day at a time I am trying to be my best and give that too. I am so thankful Jackson is here with me. We are going to make it this week and every week this school year. I want him to know that he can count on his mom. No more fighting me or wishing I was dead. Those days are gone. Thank you GOD! Love, Michelle |
| Hello my sunny pals, I feel the change of time in my bones. I like light in the morning but have not adjusted to the change yet. I still feel uneasy about it getting dark so early at night. It makes me sleepy and groggy. I do need to live in a sunny climate. I have to find some inner fire this week. It seems as if just getting by isn't really cutting it for me. I want more but need to be patient for that to happen. Definitely not one of my better qualities. I stink at patience. I think I missed my calling as a child. I am going back to bed. Love, Michelle |
| Hello Sunshine, It's been several years that I have worked for a large corporation. I forgot how big company's have rules and regulations and goals. Etc... I had to attend an early morning meeting for my seasonal part-time job. It was a fun little meeting and got me thinking how fast the holiday madness is fast approaching. I will be super busy and worn out to enjoy it. I want to make sure I do take some time and be thankful for what time I do have. I am grateful for this moment in my life. I am going to take advantage of being single to reflect on what I need and want in my life. Who I share myself with has to have a positive impact on all my future dreams. One beautiful day at a time. Love, Michelle |
| Good Morning Sunshine, I am having a hard time moving my caboose today. I guess I think I need to stop the sleeping pills. I still have a hard time sleeping but I wake up groggy. It's not a good way to start my day. I am fuzzy and I need to be sharp. Not that I have a lot on my agenda today. Just a little house chores and some buddy time with my kiddos. Nothing special but still important. It's a wonderful day to be me! Love, Michelle |
| Hello my sunny pals, I Love November! It is my favorite month of all. I feel lucky and blessed, I count down to my birthdate and celebrate every day with something that brings me joy. Like today I took money to the bank! It was my first paycheck for my part-time job. It wasn't much but it was better than nothing and because I have this kids this week I needed the extra for food. I am really looking forward to relaxing and having a fun weekend. Poor kids will have to spend a few hours alone. I do have to work but that is fine. They like the momma break. Peace and joy are here! Love, Michelle |
| Hello my little monsters, I am feeling the spooks today. It's probably because I have to write out my bills and nothing to do with the ugly cold and wet weather. Poor kiddies will be cold and wet tonight. I remember those years and still had a blast! Kids can handle any kind of weather when it means they are getting free candy! I wish I was still a kid at times. I loved days like this. You could express your creativity and celebrate the dark side! Here is hoping everyone is safe and spooky! Love, Michelle |
| Hello my sunny pals, Why is the night before Halloween called Devils' night? I think I might have known that at one time but it escapes me today. Oh well, It's just another day in paradise. I am giving into my demons. I am giving up the fight and am taking sleeping pills. I don't like it but know that my sleep is more important than my pride. I have to take care of my health and peaceful sleep is one of the biggest ways for me to help myself feel better. I live in denial and I have too. It's saving my life right now and keeping me from going insane. I am one step away from losing it and knowing that I can't. I can't give in to the madness. I must stay strong! Love, Michelle |
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