Yesterday's Word Count: 3,020
Total Word Count: 4,804

Wow. I don't even know what to say. I seem to be losing my drive. I don't know what the deal is. Granted, I got a late start yesterday, btu I allowed myself to get distracted by inconsequentials and never finished the writing. Part of the problem is that I am struggling to find a voice with Jonathan. When I was writing from Caroline's PoV, Jonathan was a lot different. Personality-wise, he's still very much the same, but because I lose some of the effect he has on Caroline, it changes how I write him. Also, there's a couple of things I'm trying to wrap my head around. And then most exciting - there is supposed to be an underlying love story to the novel, which I have already been having a difficult enough time writing. Now I'm supposed to write it from a guy's perspective, which is just insane. For that, I really need to pick up some more Koontz books and see how he covers it.

There's a fourth issue, too. My husband and I had a couple of long discussions and worked out a custody and child support arrangement. What we decided was that after the house sells, the child support will go up to $2,000/month. That is a significant jump from the aforementioned $1,500/month, and while it's not long-term significant, it takes off some of the edge. So because the need isn't huge, I've allowed myself to slack when the writing has gotten difficult. My goal is still to get published; $24k is at the high end of the poverty level, but it's still poverty level, and there won't be room for things like retirement or college savings. And not a lot of wiggle room.

So, I probably won't be stressing per se about getting published, but I am going to continue to write novels and get it done. I am going to hit that 5k/day goal for this week, and I'll probably keep it at that level post-divorce, although next week, etc will be tougher once we break things to the kids - and I'm fine with that. I know it's doable, and I'm going to do it.

As for me, well, I'm borderline falling apart, borderline doing alright. It switches on a daily basis. Thank God - I mean that literally - for good friends to walk me through. They've been a big help.
 

Well, everything seems to change around here faster than anyone can predict. My husband generally never has work the last week of the year, simply because most places are closed, so he decided to take the kids and go to Georgia to visit his family. Well, actually, it was my idea. I thought it would be good for the kids, and not so bad for him, either. We haven't told them yet, we're going to tell them next week.

What this means, from a writing perspective, is that I am here, by myself, all week. If there were ever a week that I was going to nail 10k a day, this would be the week. Of course, I'm off to a lousy start; I slept in today and got up at one. And I need to change the oil on my car, too, I had to go buy a wrench so I'm waiting for the engine to cool. I figure I'll wait til I get stuck writing and do it then. So anyway, I went ahead and hung out with and played with the kids last week, and just kind of chilled on the writing, knowing this week was coming - that's my lame excuse. Okay, I was also kinda ticked about the whole idea of a rewrite, too. Especially since I should have known it was coming, given how flat I felt about the story. If I'd known how big a help Ben was going to be, I would have bent his ear about the novel way back when. He talked me through some good stuff.

It's already 3:15, so I dunno if I'm going to make the 10k deadline today, but at a minimum, I'm knocking out 5k. I don't have to stop and make dinner, or get up to check on the kids, so I'm writing til I'm done. And if I can get done fast enough, then I might, might go up to 10k, but probably not. We'll see what happens. The kids are driving back Saturday, so that actually gives me six days of fast and furious writing, which should get me pretty close to the end. Of course, that ignores the fact that somewhere in there, the story I originally wrote is going to change, and I'm going to have to figure out how to write the details. LOL Of course, the whole stinking story has changed, so I don't know why that would make a huge difference.
 

I spent a lot of time juggling out details, so my Friday start wound up minimal - 1,784 words. I should have written Friday night, should have written Saturday, but I didn't. So I'm writing today, we'll see how it goes.

Interestingly, I'm not having as difficult a time writing as Jonathan as I would have thought I would. I don't know why. Of course, I really enjoyed writing his prep stories - he was a lot of fun as a kid - but this is more serious.

I sent Adam the crappy first draft. Even though I know it's crap, I'm still on pins and needles waiting for him to tell me what he thinks. It doesn't look like it's going well, lol, at the very least it's not a page turner. I knew that going in. But he's getting a feel for the basic premise of the novel, the idea, and so that's driving me crazy, to see what he thinks. I'm changing the delivery, everything, but still. I hate waiting for someone to tell me what they think.

I sketched out the first scene, literally; I drew a floorplan of the lab. I'm still trying to figure out why they would have run a test on a Friday, that doesn't make a lot of sense, they would have run it Monday morning and then spent the week making necessary corrections and analyzing the data. That means I need to start the novel and skip four days, which I hate. Or I can kind of walk through them. I like that. I'll just sort of slide through near the end of the week. I had a thought. Okay. See, I like this. Um, yeah, I have to go. And write. LOL
 

Well, here it is, December 18th, novel completion day. <sigh> I'm kinda blechy now. But that's okay. I'm going to write.

I didn't write anything yesterday, I admit it. I spent a little more time brainstorming, and then I just went ahead and gave myself the rest of the night off. I didn't even play my dumb game. I read a book and had the lights out by midnight, which for me is a miracle. Also...yesterday I went ahead and emailed the crappy first version to my friend, Adam, so I'm on edge. He was all, I guess I'm going to be up late reading, but I dunno if he did or not. I told him I was essentially scrapping the whole thing, PLUS it was crap, so I wouldn't read it if I were him. But...I'm nervously wondering if he did, in fact, read it, and how badly he thinks the whole thing sucks, LOL. Despite the fact that I already know it sucks. Just sad. I can handle sending stuff out but ugh.

I realized today that I'm going to have to make some new cards for the last part of the trip. Right now, if you'll recall, I have the novel high points on 3x5 cards pinned to a corkboard that I can take down and play with. Most of those are okay, but some not so much. And there are some serious changes I need to make. Since I know the high points, I need to go ahead and make an "official" timeline so I can have an idea of the time passing between the leaps.

...I'm also ill because someone said something to the effect of "it sounds like Quantum Leap," which show I love, except I didn't realize (consciously) that I actually used their method of time travel as well as the result of popping through time. But, whatever.

I'm going to go write. I'm going to beat out at least 5k words before 5, if not before 4 (it's 1 now), and I'm going to really work to hit another 5k tonight. Again, there's going to be a lot of stuff that needs to be fixed on the edit, but I'd really like to see it completed sooner rather than later.

edited to add: For the record, as I started musing, decided to go ahead and update my cards. In addition to the basic character ones, which I'm changing to include aspects of character growth (read: NO MORE FLAT PEOPLE), I'm also working on the two themes I want intertwining through the novel. I think that will really help in terms of direction and guidance. So <sigh> if I have a lousy word count tomorrow, that's why. I'm going to be watching TV tonight, so I'll work on the timeline then; I'll browse through what I've written for anything I miss, but I'll cover the basics of it. But, looking at these themes, I'm thinking I should really just take a page in my notebook for each of them, kind of like I did with the time periods. A 3x5 card just won't hold what I want to put in.
 

Yesterday's Word Count: 3,957
Total Word Count: 60,598

This is where I'm at. Yesterday afternoon, I came, what, 43 words from hitting my daily goal? I decided to go ahead and spend last night writing. I was so close to the end, and I thought I could probably make it if I just persisted. However, I spent two hours and couldn't figure out how to wrap up the novel. I finished basically all of the essential events, and I couldn't figure out how to close it. Now, this wouldn't be so awful except...I decided to call (well, talk to) a friend of mine, also an English major. So I gave him a basic rundown, and he gave me way too much help. And from that help, I came to a number of realizations.

First, my characters are flat. I was struggling with the idea of redeeming Alex - the villain - and letting him "get away" with it, but I did it anyway. We're talking 30 seconds to shift perspective. It's just not credible. Plus we don't get to see him before, either while he's "evil" or before that when he's "good." Then I have all this stress over his wife and child, and you know what? No one cares, except maybe me and the mythical Adam (well, he may not care either, lol). Somehow, I need to make people care.

Second, conflict. I have said back and forth that there is way too much dialogue and not enough action, and I'm realizing now that what that translates to is "not enough conflict."

Those are the two key elements of the story I need to change. I'm going to make Jonathan, the protagonist, go through a central change, because he's closer to Alex and to Alex's situation, I think. I'm going to go into a "do the means justify the ends" discussion. After all, Alex does all of this for the best of reasons. I'm going to have Jonathan shift his perspective on that through the story. And ultimately, I'm going to take it from an abstract discussion to a very concrete one; he is going to have to make a means & ends decision of his own. I have that in my head in the abstract.

And, to do all of this...I'm going to change the perspective of the novel. It's been in 3rd person limited from Caroline's PoV. I'm going to shift it to Jonathan's perspective, still 3p-limited. That's going to take some MASSIVE rewriting. It makes me want to cry thinking about it. But, in some ways, it's going to be an easier process, I think, because I have the majority of the events outlined. I want to do something different with the paradox experiment - you know, the one that took me a week and five headaches to get through.

Basically, then, I am rewriting my novel, essentially from scratch. Not completely, but pretty close. I don't think I can cut and paste scenes without losing integrity. That said, I am hoping that, since for most of the novel I know what is going to happen, I can write faster. I am trying to decide how much to up the ante by. I can up my daily goal to 5k words/day, which should be doable. Or, I can be extra evil to myself. I can set aside my video game for a bit, write at night, and double my daily goal to 8k words/day, which is theoretically possible but will still be a challenge. A big challenge. However, it will be a two week challenge - at 8k words/day, I should hit 80,000 in ten days. That said, the last bit is going to be harder and I am not sure I can make 8k words/day on those days because I will be going pretty much from scratch. Of course, it should still be doable, I can make doable. It will just be remarkably difficult.

The only other concern, then, is timing. Ten days - really it would be two weeks, unless I just give it up and write on Saturdays, which I should - will include Christmas. It will include my husband moving out, and telling my kids that we're getting a divorce. That's a lot of emotional, RL stuff going on at the same time, and it will not lead to a lot of clarity of thought. Still, at a minimum, I can shoot for the 8k/day until Christmas. If I include today, that's 6 days, which is 48k words, which is just a little under what I have right now. Looking at it sectionally, I would say that covers all of the sections, essentially, until I get to the massive changes necessary. Like I said, that includes today and Christmas Eve, but it doesn't include Saturday. I think I can probably cover a section each day, figuring 10kish a section. I don't know if I'll quite wrap it up, but I should come close, and I may just persist and cover each section to be complete. It seems silly to stop a page or two shy of a section when I have just a little further to go.

Alright, it's 2:13. I'm going to delete my tallies tomorrow and put them up correctly. I don't know what my new goal date is. I'd still like to try to finish by the end of the year, at least with the writing. I just don't know if all of the personal things are going to let me accomplish that. But I can do what I can to hit the 8k/day before then. That's my goal.

OMG did I say eight THOUSAND words a day?! What, exactly, am I smoking?! lol
 

Yesterday's Word Count: 5,026
Total Word Count: 56,641

Wow. That is all I have to say about last night. Wow. So, I logged in to find that my friends didn't need me, so I logged out. I did some housework - shock - and made a few phone calls that I needed to make, and then around 9 or 9:30 I sat down to write. By 11, I had plugged out over 4,000 words. I knew what I wanted to write, and it just...flowed. I ran cross country in high school and college and thought that a runner's high rocked the world, but what the heck, a writer's high totally tops it, because I can still breathe when I finish. It was one of the most amazingly awesome writing moments of my life. Not only did I get the pages written - and by the way, page 202 doublespaced, sweet! - I think it's some of the best off-the-cuff writing. It'll all polish out in the edit, of course, but it was freaking amazing.

I thought about it last night, and I wonder if part of my problem on Monday and yesterday afternoon stemmed from the fact that I didn't just stream-of-conscious about my novel in my "Calling My Muse." I skipped it because I already have an outline of the section, that fairly detailed one I wrote on Saturday. So I figured I didn't need it. I don't know what it was - the nap, the brainstorming, the change in music I've made, my change in attitude (yesterday overall was awesome) - but everything just jelled for me yesterday.

So today, even if I get my 4k words during rest time, I'm seriously considering writing after the kids are in bed. I want to get this novel finished. I won't be able to write tomorrow (Thurs) during rest time because I have a dentist appointment - I'm getting my wisdom teeth pulled, but tomorrow is the "consultation", whatever that means - at 11. I should be back, I hope, by 1, which should give me good time to write, but I don't know how well that will work out. Plus, if I can get this wrapped up sooner rather than later, well, I'll take sooner. I'm really ticked because I took my daughter to her piano lesson and intended to sit and edit at the library with my other three kids, but I left my printout at home. (Don't ask me why I took it out of the car, I have no idea, but I'm mad.) If I leave it at home tomorrow, I'm coming back for it, even if I'm late for the appointment. If I can really put pen to paper tonight...well I don't want to think about it. But I'd really like to be done tomorrow, and it is plausible. I'd be fine with finishing Friday, but it would be nice to wrap sooner. I'm ready to go back and fix all of the problems in here. Of course, I'm on a massive high right now, lol. I hope it continues through the writing stage. I'm probably jinxing myself.
 

So, this is what I did after my utter failure to write today. I went over to my input blog and just sort of wrote random question ideas trying to figure out what was stopping me. Part of my problem, I realized, came from the fact that I had no idea about what to do about a specific problem. So I decided to try the age old method of problem-solving: I took a nap. Okay, not a nap. But I went upstairs and turned off the light and climbed into bed, and sort of let my mind wander. Okay, I sound really lazy, but seriously, that has to be one of the best problem solving techniques ever. Anyway, I've had this huge "how in the world do I convince Jonathan to do something I need him to do that goes totally against his character?" and I came up with the "how". I still haven't figured out the "why" but I have enough to portray the action, and I'll come up with the rationalization on the edit. It will probably take some more mind wandering. But anyway, I just couldn't figure out the best way to make it work.

You know, here's the thing about that kind of brainstorming. First, it's really time consuming, in that it's not a fifteen-second solution. Second, it's time consuming in that...I have a hard time getting back out of bed. And third, I feel really really lazy climbing into my bed at four. Hopefully one of these days I'll come up with a better way to shut everything out, but for now, I'll take what I can get. I just wish I had figured out the problem and done it yesterday.

Anyway, it's 6 pm, the kids are still up for awhile, and writing is gonna be a pain. And...I have a "date" at 7, lol. So I'll run my raid at 7, and then come back and write afterward, once the kids are in bed. My actual plan is to log off after I run the quick instance and clean up some, and then I'll write some. Okay...theoretically, I have another raid to run at 9:30, but I seriously doubt it's going to go through. So...after I run with my friends, I'll log and clean the house, and then I'll write. I'm going to hit 4k tonight, I promise, even if I have to stay up til 1. I mean, I've been staying up til 1 playing games anyway, I might as well stay up and write.
 

Yesterday's Word Count: 1,265 (Fail)
Total Word Count: 51,630

So, yesterday was a fail day. Not just when it comes to writing. The whole day sucked. In fact, I'm trying to decide whether or not to just delete the whole whoppping 1000 words and start again. Most of it will be deleted, there's no reason for it, I can see it coming. It's just filler so I would write, and as I wrote, I knew it was crap, thus losing motivation. But the whole day was crap. I burned breakfast, I had a huge library screwup - several, actually, in that I had to turn in a book my kids destroyed, plus I left half the overdue stuff at home, plus my 2 yo was NOT listening and running around the library screaming - then lunch of pb&j was fail, how do you mess that up?, then I couldn't write, then I stuck my foot in my mouth AGAIN (although this time it was not as deserved IMO). Sunday night was awful, I was crying for like four hours, and that set the stage for yesterday's failures because I woke up in a crappy mood.

I have this great goal, and I'm close, and I really choked yesterday. But I'm also dealing with a lot of crap in my personal life. On the one hand, I'm like, get over it, people manage to work a "real" job and go through divorce, but writing is kind of different, because so much of it comes from my heart. And when my heart feels like it's going through the shredder, it becomes very hard to write. Sometimes it's easier, if I were writing a tragedy, I would be so set. Maybe for the next one, LOL. But mostly I feel like all of my emotions are on my skin, and the slightest thing sets me off. I was crying for the stupidest reasons on Sunday, it was insane. Seriously, one of my RL friends logged into the game, I said "hi ben!" and he said, "JEEZ, are you sitting here waiting for me?". And I started bawling.

So, I'm cutting myself some slack. Not a lot. I'm going to finish it before Christmas, even if I don't make it this week - though I'd really like to make it this week. I probably shouldn't, but seriously, it's hard enough to write a novel in a month, much less to do it while struggling with divorce and trying to figure out where I'm going to move in two weeks and figuring out custody and trying not to miss my kids too terribly.

I'm also going to skip. I'll come back and sew things up. When I leave here, I'm going to switch over to my novel and dive literally into the action. The setup is going to be awful, but I just want to get moving. I'll come back and fix the scene intro on the edit. I'm tired of sitting here staring at the scene. I want to get things moving. It's probably not the best of plans, but I'm confident in my ability to patch and smooth. It's interesting, but I get a lot of inspiration working with a pen and paper, which is what I'll have for the edit. I can come up with some fairly decent scenes that way. Of course, I could try that now, but...eh. I'll come back with it. By the time I come back, I'll definitely have an idea where the scene is going. And also, I'm lazy. I want to get into the actions, and if it creates a barebones issue, so be it. I'll deal with it when I edit. Because of course I'll be in a MUCH better mood after Christmas. That is kind of funny. I'm only procrastinating it by a week. But still, I'm also going to keep the writing momentum going.

Besides which, I have some major structural revisions to attack this novel with. Hopefully my next LINEAR novel, where I don't have someone skipping through time out of order, will avoid some of these things. Like, there are scenes that Jonathan is going to remember that I need to have him somehow reference. And I'm not actually certain I kept it clear what order he was leaping in. I may go back and put in some clues about what happened "last time". I'll be subtle. "So, where did you just come from?" Caroline asked. lol And also, I just realized, they haven't really had a fight. I dunno if I have any fighting left in me. So there are going to be some serious alterations in the novel.

Yeah, I'm going to start in the middle of the scene where they are arguing - speaking of a fight - and go from there. Come to think of it, there is going to be a lot of arguing in this section, lol. But they were already planned. It's a good time for it. Nearing the end. We'll see how it goes.

edited to add: I really have been working today. I have stayed in my seat, and not tabbed out. I've got a good conversational scene going. It's all of 858 words long. That has taken me, what, two hours? I don't know what is going on with me. Yesterday, I knew I was flaking, but today I just can't seem to make it work. I outlined what I want to do, written form, and I just can't seem to get past it. Part of it, I suppose, is that I don't know how exactly I'm going to resolve the argument. I tried skipping forward again but I got so frustrated. And also, I am not sure what to do about the parts I'm skipping over. Like, of course Caroline is going to try to stop her lab from being burned to the ground...but I still don't know what to do about another part. I don't know. I don't know why all of a sudden I have ground to a halt on this novel. I have been kicking ass and taking names, and then all of a sudden, nothing. I can't even make myself write crap, I tried, I tried just writing to write and I get so mad at it that I go back and delete it all. Is it just plain old writer's block? Am I putting too much pressure on myself? I don't know.
 

...except that I did go ahead and plot the last section on Saturday. Seriously, the idea of being almost finished is kinda freaking me out. I get this deer-in-the-headlights feeling. But I'll get past it. Today is going to be rough: it's 1:30 and I just got the kids into bed. My husband is out of town, so I'm doing the bedtime routine (he's been handling it lately), and I'll be late doing the night time recovery. Thankfully, we're having leftovers, so I should be able to type til nearly 5...that's 3.5 hrs. <gulp> I had this random, skip-the-blogging thought, but the whole stream of thought thing really gets me warmed up.

I'm back and forth on the LDS fiction. I'm not sure I'm in the best place for it at the moment. On top of that, I had a 'wait a sec, teen culture, crap!' moment earlier today. Um, I'm not sure how much teen culture I can pull off, honestly. Maybe I can find some Jack Weyland books and see what he can come up with. (He's an LDS teen writer, very good.) However, I finished an LDS fiction book last night that just sucked. The story was great, but the writing was a step up from okay, in my opinion. It wasn't bad, it just wasn't good. I can always tell when writing bothers me; it's when I analyze the writing. If I'm, you know, reading the story, when I finish I'm like, hey, that was awesome. LOL Anyway, the market should be okay, but...ugh. I'm thinking I may be able to sell to some LDS publishers without per se being LDS in tone. I dunno. I'll have to research that. I can at least try, I suppose, see how mainstream they've gone. For instance, I know of at least one series where no one is LDS - it's historical, though, so I don't know how well that would work. (I didn't like the writing in that series, either, by the way, too dry IMO). And actually, since I didn't finish the series, I don't know off the top of my head how spiritually-leaning it was. I suppose I could go pick the book back up and read it. Ugh. The idea actually makes me cringe. But it wouldn't be a bad plan, to get an idea for content.

Wow, I'm like uber writing judgmental lately.

Anyway, it would be nice if I could keep the generalized tone in a smaller, less known market. Granted, that means less sales, but I can handle that. But I need to stop focusing on marketing and the next novel and just write this one, I suppose. I can figure out what the next one will be when I finish. Next week. I have this sharp clenching pain in my subject at the thought...and I think I just figured out why. As long as I never actually wrote a novel, there has never been an opportunity for it to be rejected. Next month, I'll not only have the opportunity, I will also probably wind up rejected. Well, okay, not next month, because of course the response will be slow, but thereafter. I think that probably explains the MOUNTING TERROR I am suddenly feeling while sitting here...I have to quit thinking about it and just do it. Besides, everyone knows that the first novel you write sucks, it's such a learning experience, and it generally only winds up published after you're massively successful, right? Right. So I should just accept that this one will fail. You know what? I don't care (that is such fake bravado). Okay, I care. BUT. But I'm proud of myself for getting this far, for writing it. In a few weeks, it will be edited and polished. And then I can be proud of myself for having a finished work. And then I'll send it out, and I can be proud of myself for taking that step. But for right now, I'm damn proud that I've written over 50,000 words of a novel. That is freaking amazing.

I just, um, I just have to keep telling myself that.

edited to add: what the heck? I am so dodging. I can't seem to gel. I keep jumping onto Facebook or something. Maybe I should disconnect my internet while I write. Actually not a bad idea, but...it's not like turning it back on is hard.
 

Well, technically this is a Saturday post, right?

So my friend Adam, who I mentioned waaaaay back when as the person who bullied me incessantly into sitting down and writing my novel, wants to read my first draft. I'm torn. My knee-jerk, gut reaction is "no freaking way!". I told him that my first draft is, by definition, crap, especially with this novel. My stories generally come out rough and get polished, but I also don't usually have a deadline on my short stories. I've never set myself at a daily word count requirement to move on. So there are several scenes that are jerky or forced, because I'm making myself continue, and need to be cut. Then there is the issue of the whole romance, which just didn't get really written. I mean, I did some, but like the marriage proposal never happened. I need to add that, it's key. I also need to add smaller elements of romance, a little bit here and there. And then, of course, there is the whole flow, the fact that there is way too much dialogue and not enough scenery or action. I skipped out on the setting almost entirely, with the intention of going back to it. I wanted to get the straight up writing done, and setting was tough to focus on. I have to arrange furniture.

I mean, the first draft is, like, the suckiest piece of writing ever. It is for me, at least. I don't know why anyone would want to read it. So like I said, knee-jerk=no.

Okay, but here's the other thing about Adam. First, at some random point, I mentioned my writing and he said, oh I'd like to read it. I sent him to my novel shorts. Now, those are 3-5k stories, but one of them is (I think) a 10k story that NO ONE reads because it is just so long. I mean, getting reviews, even when I was paying, was insane. So Adam goes in and he read them ALL. Every one of the five stories I had posted, included the long one. And then, okay, he's all, you made me cry twice. (Lest you question him, he swears he just got teary-eyed, LOL.) He read the first few sentences of one of them while I was talking to him, and he started raving about how talented I was, how he was already drawn in. It was like a shock, I guess, he was expecting...well anyway, he got more than he expected, from the tone of his voice. He said, and I swear, he said, "Oh my gosh, you are a real writer." And then he started badgering me about how I'm wasting my talent, and I should write a novel. I swear, he bullied me into it. I'll admit, it didn't take a lot of bullying, but it was more than the general casual, oh you should write something that I usually get.

So, yeah, I'm massively flattered. I remember reading Dean Koontz, Lightning, way back when I was a kid. The main character, Laura, is a writer, and she meets this guy who read her stories before he met her, and he's just hysterical, putting his foot in his mouth, and she's worried he might be a psycho because he did some weird stuff because he was so shy, but...she can't turn him down because "he said my writing was beautiful." Okay, so I always thought that was kind of a flaky line, despite the fact that I love Koontz. But, yeah, okay, I've changed my mind. My writing is too much of my soul, and while I appreciate the general "good job" comments I get, his was specific and on target, and I could tell he really read it and admired it.

Leaving me torn. That first draft, ugh, it's humiliating to admit I could write something like that. But on the flip side, how do you turn down someone who is not only way too complimentary but also highly encouraging and really pushed you into doing something you love anyway?

Wow, this is kind of random. What do you say? Share the first draft or make him wait another couple weeks and give him at least a cleaner version?

What would be really cool...probably won't happen but would be cool...would be to get it polished up before Christmas. That's only another week. Could I do a week of heavy editing? Seriously heavy? Well, at the very least, I could get a cleaner version done and go from there. I thought it might be cool to overnight it to him so he has it as a "Christmas present", LOL. But I dunno if it'll be done at that point. And...I told him my goal was to be done by Friday, although I dunno.

If I write tomorrow/Sat, I would get moving a little further along. I will consider that. I have to think about what's going to go down in this next section. Maybe I could just take a couple hours on it while the kids are gone, during the regular time I would write, and make it happen. I dunno.

Alright, bedtime. You gotta tell me whether or not I should send out the roughest of rough first draft.